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Post by Riley Neves on Jun 30, 2010 18:25:09 GMT -5
Riley felt a little pang in her stomach. In all honesty, she hadn't really been thinking of names at all. It wasn't that she was denying the pregnancy or anything like that. In fact, she welcomed it, even if it was never in her life plans. She was just taking it all very slow. Right now, there was a lot more on her mind than names.
"Victoria is too common," Riley murmured, her mind almost elsewhere. "I don't want her to have a name that twenty other kids will have, you know." She paused, setting her fork down. "What if she won't be safe? I mean in school, and.... everything."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 3, 2010 9:06:40 GMT -5
Roland sighed softly. Yes, he had these same worries. How could he not? He worried about his sister and his brothers and Lina and Scarlette. He worried about his parents, his cousins, his aunt and uncle, and he worried about her. Now he had to worry about the children, too... about Mara, about Jamie and Scarlette's baby, and about their own baby. But he was starting to realize that you couldn't spend all of your energy worrying about the future. You had to concentrate on the present, on each moment, and take it as it came.
"I know," he said. "I worry about those things, too. I want our child to be safe and happy and to have the kind of life she deserves. But we can't do anything about that. All we can do is protect and love him or her, and do the best we can. Nothing is guaranteed, you know that. But we can't let worry and fear keep us from living our lives. Then we won't have much of a life. It's hard for me to accept, too, but sometimes you just have to let whatever happens, happen."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 5, 2010 2:23:30 GMT -5
Riley had never really been the kind of person who let worry cripple her from doing things. Roland should have known that. Although, truthfully, he hadn't known her in one of her more wild stages when she pushed the limits of absolutely everything she could. The Riley Roland knew was fairly tame- comparatively. But knowing that in a few short months, they would be bringing a tiny person into the world that would be entirely dependent on them, terrified Riley. What if someone came to avenge Bake's death, or either of them died in the line of duty?
It was all pretty overwhelming, and Riley let out a long, slow breath. They could do this. It was Roland and Riley against the world, even with a baby between them.
She set her fork down, her pasta barely touched (and negating the arguement she tried to put up earlier about taking care of herself. "I don't think I'm very hungry anymore. But what was the other name you mentioned... Anastasia. That sounds unique."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 5, 2010 17:56:20 GMT -5
There was a difference between embracing danger in one's own life and facing it when a child was involved. All parents--and even though their child was not yet born, they were definitely already thinking like parents--wants the best for their children, and that includes keeping them safe from harm. No matter how much of a dare-devil he had always been, Roland definitely didn't want the same for his child, even though he knew that it was a double-standard. And now, the world around them was so much more dangerous, so how could they not be worried? But they would still just have to do the best that they could and hope that it would all turn out all right. He was scared, but short of keeping their child in a giant protective bubble, what could they do?
He decided not to comment about the fact that she wasn't finishing her food. After all, he wasn't usually much better about such things. They really were quite a pair... how would they encourage their child to eat properly when they didn't even do it themselves?
"You like that one?" he said, smiling lightly. "It actually means 'reborn'... I thought it was kind of fitting, you know?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 24, 2010 1:20:12 GMT -5
"That's a theme for you," Riley replied, a light smile in her eyes. She couldn't help but think it might be kind of cute though.... Roland had a tattoo that stood for much of the same thing, and they would have a dog with a name that meant as much. It was kind of a thing for the whole family... except that Riley had nothing that really meant it. Nothing tangible, anyway.
"It's pretty, though. And it's a strong name... one she would have to grow into." And that's what they were looking for. They both already knew a common, simple name was not going to do the trick.
"We'll be okay doing this, right? I mean, we'll be able to protect her?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 24, 2010 22:48:40 GMT -5
Ever since the day he had witnessed Dumbledore's phoenix on a burning day, Roland had been inexplicably fascinated with the concept of being reborn from the ashes. He'd got the tattoo on a drunken whim, the whim of a teenager who thought he was invincible. Roland now knew that he was not, despite the fact that he certainly seemed that way after having returned from the dead. The truth was, of course, he had come frighteningly close to dying several times; in fact, he had nearly been killed each of the three times he had faced his uncle. It was really sheer luck that he had survived. And what he had learned from the whole ordeal was that he needed to be more careful in the future, especially now that he had Riley and the baby to worry about.
In a sense, it almost was like he had died that night and had been reborn from the ashes as a different person... a more cautious, thoughtful, person who wasn't as selfish or arrogant as he had always been. That was sort of the idea behind the name... to symbolize the change he had undergone because of Riley and because of the baby.
"We'll definitely have to put that one on our list, anyway," Roland said. "We should probably think of a boy's name... just in case we're wrong. But I admit I'm coming up blank on that."
At her worried question, he sighed softly. He wanted to be able to say yes, to reassure her that everything was going to be fine and that their unborn child would be safe and happy and never come to any harm. But ultimately, no parent could ever guarantee that. And they both knew that.
He got up from his chair and went over to her, kneeling down next to her. "We'll do what we can," he said. "It's going to be OK."
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Post by Riley Neves on Nov 20, 2010 15:12:52 GMT -5
With Roland close to her, kneeling in front of her, Riley studied his eyes. She had always been able to call him on his bull, and she just needed to see that he was telling her the truth right now.
No, it wouldn't be easy. Yes, they would have to be worried every single day for their child... but she just needed to know they could do it.
"I'm not asking for it to be fairytale easy, Roland. I know it won't be. But I don't want a fairytale, either. I just... I'm scared, and I'm not really used to the feeling. But if you tell me we'll be all right, I believe you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 27, 2010 1:21:04 GMT -5
"I'm scared, too," he told her honestly. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying by now, so he knew there was no point in hiding that truth from her.
"But you know, I was scared of falling in love with you, too. I was scared, so I fought it and tried to deny it. But when I gave into it, and just took a chance, even though I was scared... well, it was worth it. Of course we're going to be scared... all new parents are scared and worried and freaked out. But it'll be worth it. It'll be OK, and we can do this. I promise."
He straightened up and sat down next to her on the sofa, then leaned in to kiss her softly. "Who would have thought that anything could be scarier than Blake Malfoy, right?" he teased.
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Post by Riley Neves on Jan 19, 2011 17:25:03 GMT -5
Riley wanted to point out that most new parents didn't have to worry about their child being harassed because he or she was a halfblood, or that the paternal side of his family were, in essence, blood traitors, even if they hadn't been named as such. Or that both of its parents were Aurors... there was a lot working against them and their child.
Still, they would figure out how to see this through, she had faith. She just wished she didn't feel like she and Roland were such kids themselves.
She kissed him back and nodded. "Yeah... who would have thought."
Then, she lifted her eyes and smiled. "You're right... we'll be okay."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 27, 2011 0:54:44 GMT -5
She was smiling and saying all the right things, but he still felt like she was holding back. He hated feeling any distance from her. She had warned him it would happen, that she would try to push him away, but he was convinced he could handle that. Geoffrey could, after all, so why not him?
Her earlier words still troubled him. Never had he thought for a moment that she would get so confused by his faked death that she would no longer be sure whether he was really alive or just in a dream. All that time apart had been difficult, and there had been times when he wasn't sure himself what was real. But he knew that he felt alive whenever she was there. What had she been feeling?
It seemed like they had been waiting so long for things to be "normal," and now that they were, everything just felt more confusing than ever. Who would have thought that his "death" would have had such terrible consequences for the people he loved?
"Maybe we just have to accept that things aren't ever going to be perfect," he said, partially in response to her comment, and partially in response to his own thoughts. "We'll always be worried about something, and we won't always have all the answers. But we'll do the best we can, and it'll be fine."
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 23, 2011 1:23:30 GMT -5
"And you'd be happy with that?" Riley asked, lifting her eyes back to him and breaking her own thoughts. "You, Roland, who needs an answer to everything, a solution to every problem... and you would be okay with just accepting that we won't have the answer to everything?"
Her tone was that of disbelief, and she started to feel stressed again. She used to be so different front them. She would have thrown caution to the wind in these situations. Now, her work stress and perfection was bleeding into her personal life, and she didn't have the answers to anything either.
"We need another appointment with a mediwitch. I should be hungrier by now. Right?" She was changing topics to something safer. Trying to keep herself from pushing away from him. Anything to ground herself in sanity.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 29, 2011 23:11:23 GMT -5
"Merlin's beard, when you put it like that, I sound utterly insufferable," Roland said, rolling his eyes playfully, letting her know he was (mostly) joking. "I wonder how you put up with me."
Yes, it was true... Roland always wanted to "fix" everything; it was an instinct he'd had ever since he was a child. He remembered feeling helpless and frustrated when baby Jamie would cry all night with colic, or when Cyrus broke his arm. He always wanted to help, even when he couldn't. And right now, he wished there was an easy--or even a difficult--solution to this situation, so that they wouldn't constantly have to worry that their child would be safe or healthy. But he was slowly starting to learn that he couldn't control everything... as much as he hated to admit it.
"I didn't say I liked the idea, but until they crown me master of the universe, I guess I'm just going to have to accept that there are some things in this world that I can't control. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've had control of anything, really, since I fell in love with you. I'm sorry to tell you, but we're in this together now... and we can only do so much."
He pressed a kiss to her temple and held her a little closer. He was worried about her lack of appetite, but he didn't want her to know that. If she saw that he was worried, too, she would probably worry even more. "We can make an appointment, if you want. But, you know, everyone's different. You never seemed to have a big appetite, even before you were pregnant. Are you still having morning sickness?"
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