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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 5, 2016 22:58:47 GMT -5
Diana should have gone back to the cabin. It had been freezing outside on the deck last night but she held on to her bitterness to keep her warm.
She had stayed up most of the evening thinking about the previous night. They had been disgustingly in love and drunk on happiness. All the feelings that Diana kept within herself buried beneath the pain and anger of her life had been laid bare at his feet. So had all of her insecurities about him leaving her, him not wanting her, him resenting her for forcing him into her life with Alyx.
While it definitely took two to tango and she wasn't alone in creating their children, somehow she was blaming herself for bringing him into this. Yesterday she had confided in him in her ridiculously inebriated state her worst fears, and by the morning he had acted upon most of them.
Of course he blamed her for their situation, for the fate he now considered worse than death, a life with her.
She shivered holding herself a little tighter fighting the cold with the flimsy blanket she had grabbed from somewhere.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 5, 2016 23:12:19 GMT -5
The bar was open now and after Christian had calmed enough to leave the room (which he had destroyed in his rage) he headed straight for the relief that alcohol brought. Two drinks in he thought of Diana and his anger grew, so he ordered a third. By the time the glass was empty he much more levelheaded when he thought of his new wife. They would get the matter resolved; Bennett was one of the top barristers in London, Christian only employed the finest men. They just needed to play it cautiously until their lives could be unbound. That would be rather difficult with the impending meeting/murder of the mystery board member.
Christian ordered a bourbon and a fourth scotch, then left the bar. It didn't take long to find her, he simply avoided all the other guests on the ship and there she was. "You're going to catch your death out here and kill me," he said, handing her the bourbon.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 5, 2016 23:22:49 GMT -5
She woke seconds before he spoke, his presence causing a shiver to run down her spine. She refused the bourbon and waved his hand away. This wasn't her fault. It wasn't his fault either, but as more of their evening came to her she was angry at how good it had felt. Not the disgusting sappy parts, but the gentleness, the tenderness. They hadn't been at each other's throats the entire evening, neither did they need sex to communicate for them. They had been open and vulnerable with each other and it had been okay.
She realized that a part of her wanted that, she wanted to be able to be soft with him. She wanted to feel like she didn't have to fight him all the time. It only further proved that they couldn't make this work between them, and now they were bonded which put even more pressure on the situation.
"At least we'll be free of each other then." she replied sitting up.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 5, 2016 23:38:32 GMT -5
Christian shrugged at her refusal, the drink was an apology and it had not been accepted. He set both glasses on a small table and sat in the chair next to Diana's. "I know I'm a vain despotic jackass, but is death really the better option?"
Christian was well aware of his issues, many women before Diana had pointed them out to him. But he hadn't cared enough to consider them before. Christian's issues, coupled with Diana's own, made for intensely passionate arguments and sex, but there were real feelings beneath that as well. Christian loved Diana and he wouldn't refute the tender things he had said the night prior. But he also wouldn't admit to them now.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 5, 2016 23:44:48 GMT -5
"You tell me, do you honestly think you could live with a psychotic b*tch for the rest of your life?" she asked him still refusing to look at him. Drinks and sex weren't going to fix things this time. She couldn't drink in her current condition, and sex was the reasons she was in her current condition. Sex was the reason they were both in the position they were in now.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 0:14:34 GMT -5
Christian raised his brows at her question and looked out over the ocean. He had thought many times on his future with Diana, he simply hadn't said as much aloud. Christian saw no problem with their relationship up until a few weeks ago when her mood had shifted and she had become lethargic.
Diana's passion made Christian want to be with her. Not just the sexual passion between them, though that was certainly a motivating factor. Diana was passionate in a variety of ways that he found alluring. She demanded things be done her way and she raised hell whenever Christian said otherwise. She adamantly defended Derek, which bothered Christian as he didn't trust the pair's relationship, but he also knew that she would do the same for any of her friends and possibly even Christian were the tables turned. She fought hard for her life and for their daughter's life. Christian could be with a passionate woman. He was already planning on it.
"Haven't you had enough sappy confessions of love for one trip?" he asked with a sigh as he lifted his glass to his mouth.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 6, 2016 0:23:35 GMT -5
"A lifetime." she corrected, "But I wasn't expecting one now." she told him honestly. After the way they had raged at each other Diana couldn't expect for Christian to give her an affirmation of their status together.
The only problem with the passion he saw in her was that it was exhausting. She was a passionate person in general, but she could only keep it up for so long. She would eventually run herself ragged. She needed someone that could handle her passion and her softness. She needed someone to handle her moods and vulnerabilities. It wasn't just her pregnancy pushing her to feel this way. She was tired of fighting, truly tired of it. She needed some softness in her life, but life with Christian wasn't soft.
She didn't want him to stop doing what he did, she didn't want to change him, she loved him for who he was. But at the same time she didn't want to defend herself at every turn. She needed to know that if she were mentally or emotionally down and out he wouldn't trample over her. She needed to know that she could be weak in front of him without being punished for it. But they were fighters, they didn't know what to do with weakness.
"It doesn't matter, we're almost finished here and then we can see what we can do about getting this damn marriage dissolved."
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 0:40:13 GMT -5
Were Christian to hear her thoughts he would have reminded her of their week together when she was injured. He didn't trample over her or punish her for slowing down. It was the opposite in fact, where Diana fought with him every time he tried to keep her still and make her rest. He might not have been the most eloquent man when it cam to tenderness, but he used it when she needed it. He simply didn't understand why she needed when Dr Hanley said they could continue their mission.
He took another drink. "Bennett will figure it out," he said with a false confidence in his voice. "Should be easy since we haven't consummated the marriage," he added with a laugh. For all the feelings of love they had professed while under the potion's spell, they hadn't had sex on their wedding night. That had to be a sign, but of what?
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 6, 2016 0:50:40 GMT -5
Diana looked at him for the first time that morning. The sun was just coming up, the boat was still relatively silent. His handsomeness took her breath away. He was her husband, her life's mate, she would literally die without him. It was bitter how deeply she loved him, and she recalled with perfect clarity the intense emotion that had caused her to perform their vows. That emotion hadn't disappeared by the light of day, but angry words and insecurities had surfaced even stronger than before in light of their new situation.
There was a very small smile that played on her lips as she thought of one other thing, "Well he had better figure it out for your sake," she laughed leaning over him. She let her hand caress his chest and trail downward, " Seeing as how until he does..." she bit her bottom lip as her hand moved over his lap, "this belongs exclusively to me."
She grinned then, her day going much better.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 1:07:38 GMT -5
Christian grinned, happy to see they were getting back to normal as Diana's hand slithered down his chest. "Is that so?" he asked, thinking she was teasing him as a wife would.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 6, 2016 1:14:16 GMT -5
Her grin widened turning positively Machiavellian, "Don't you remember darling?" she asked her mouth moving over his in a ghost of a kiss. She let her lips trail lightly over his skin, teasing him wickedly.
"Your vows were so beautiful." she said with a heartfelt expression that melted to a sadistic smirk.
Among the traditional vows of love and cherishing, Christian had quite beautifully included faithfulness among those vows, that he would remain pure for her from that point on, that his body not respond nor his mind be tempted by that of another.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 1:45:12 GMT -5
Christian's body responded to Diana as it always had, his breathing grew deeper as her lips grazed his skin. And then he caught her face. This wasn't the sultry Diana, this was the clever Diana. Her words confirmed it, though he wasn't sure what she meant straight away. He looked at her and slowly his confusion turned to realization and then annoyance.
"You've got to be f*cking kidding me!" he yelled as he pushed her away and stood up in anger.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 6, 2016 1:52:53 GMT -5
Diana fell back in a peel of laughter as he realized what she was talking about. She laughed like she hadn't laughed in a long time. Triumph. Mischief. And not a bit of humility or repentance for it. She smiled at him from her position.
"Oh how the women of the world shall weep at such a loss." she said still smirking. She brought her leg upward, her toes trailing the inseam on his pants and further upward.
She was enjoying herself immensely.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 2:25:28 GMT -5
"Unf*ckingbelievable!" he said as he swiped her foot away from him. "I'm glad you think this is f*cking funny, Diana." He grabbed both glasses from the table, finishing what was left of the scotch before swallowing the whole of the bourbon in one go.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 6, 2016 2:29:24 GMT -5
"Oh come on." she teased standing up and pressing her body against his, "We'll get this figured out, and until then you're all mine." she smiled again nearly giddy.
"Besides, is there someone else you fancy?" she asked putting on a pout, still amused.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 2:46:43 GMT -5
Christian hadn't planned on chasing skirt while he was with Diana, but now that it wasn't even an option he was furious. This whole debacle was simply one sh*tstorm after another. He was married against his (sober) wishes, was bonded to Diana so that if one of them died so would the other (which in his line of work was a big problem), and now he couldn't so much as look at another woman lustfully.
He grabbed her forcefully around the waist, pinning her body to his. He looked deep into her eyes. "If I'm stuck with only one woman, you're going to make it worth my while."
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 6, 2016 2:59:35 GMT -5
Diana was still laughing at him when he pulled her against him. It only took that simple gesture to silence her. She felt the hard planes of his body against her soft ones and released an unconscious simper.
The look in his eyes both thrilled and terrified her. She belonged to him, but when he realized how much she belonged to him he would own her heart and soul and beyond.
"Yes." she said with a breathless nod, "Yes." she pulled herself further against him and with a renewed desperation she kissed him forcefully. She let her hands and body talk for her as she made good on his demand that she make it worth his while. She only briefly pulled back to whisper, "Cabin." although she was fairly certain that they weren't going to make it.
Instead she dragged him toward the nearest empty room and silenced the room. That was the last logical thing she did before surrendering to the passion between them.
She surrendered completely. Even throughout their trysts before she had never sought to please him as much as she did now. She pushed her limits as well as his and still gave more. If there was any doubt in Christian's mind that she would be worth the sacrifice he had made she was effectively quelling them.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 3:22:38 GMT -5
Christian wasn't sure what had gotten into Diana, but he had thoroughly enjoyed it. No matter that they were in a linen closet. He sat atop a fallen pile of sheets, his back resting against a large shelf. "You're f*cking amazing," he said, the words separated by heavy breaths. If she kept that up, there would never be a need to look longingly at anyone else.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 6, 2016 3:30:20 GMT -5
Diana was tired. She kissed his chest and pulled up to look at him, "Am I worth it yet?" she asked almost as a challenge as her hand snaked down tracing patterns on his abdomen. For some reason it was extremely important to her that he believe she was worth the 'sacrifice' he had made.
They had spent the better part of the afternoon in that closet. Someone had attempted to open the door twice. As the sun was setting Diana remembered, "It's time." she said standing up looking for her clothing. They had to meet the last board member.
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Post by Christian Ward on Nov 6, 2016 4:09:52 GMT -5
The first time she asked if she was worth it Christian laughed at her, causing Diana to pounce on him. The second time she asked he made a sarcastic comment about her insecurities. This too elicited another round. Finally, Christian was completely spent and far too tired to be anything but sincere. "Very," he answered with a lazy grin on his face.
In all of the excitement with Diana, Christian had completely forgotten about the board member. The entire reason they were still on this cruise. "Sh*t," he replied, pulling himself up from the strewn piles of defiled sheets and pillows. He moved a few things here and there as he gathered his clothes and dressed.
As he fastened his pants he realized that they had spent the majority of their time aboard fighting or not speaking with each other. They hadn't discussed a plan of attack. "F*ck, Diana. What's the plan?"
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