Jam Session (Eddie, Wrackspurts, Troy)

[Eddie Shriver]

There it was.

The entire situation, the reality of all of it, hit Eddie like a ton of bricks, and it broke his heart. Maybe he was reading too much into those words, but...

He was Troy's piano. That thing that he could be really good at, but had moved on to something cooler. Something that would move him further in his life. Something that wasn't quite so dull and in his past.

He took a deep breath, just nodding, unable to add more to the conversation.

He wasn't ready to up and walk away from whatever he and Nigel were building. He wasn't willing to beg Troy to take him back. He still the loved the other man, deeply, unconditionally, but he wasn't going to throw away his own shot at a step forward for something that might go up in flames again.

Still, the air was so thick with tension that he felt like he was suffocating, and he looked towards Nigel, trying his best to make conversation easier, and to not make Nigel feel like he was being left out of an intensely private joke.

"When I knew Troy," he said, careful to keep his smile in place and wishing that Troy hadn't ever said his name, "He played a great many instruments. Very musically minded."

[Nigel Barksworth]

The tension in the air was not lost on Nigel, and he knew he had to be the one to diffuse it as best as possible, unless one of the other band members decided to show up at that moment. Actually, he was silently hoping that would happen, because any one of them could distract Troy while he pulled Eddie aside to find out what exactly was going on.

He had his suspicions, of course, but he had no idea how deep the connection between Eddie and Troy might have been. But he had already figured out back at the audition that Troy was gay, and while he wasn't exactly Nigel's type, he had pushed to choose him, among other reasons, because it would be good to have someone else he could relate to in the band. But more importantly, Troy was ridiculously talented, and, as Eddie pointed out, very musically minded. It seemed beneficial to have someone in the band who could be a chameleon and play whatever instrument they needed him to play.

Still, if it was going to cause problems to have him and Eddie in the same space, Nigel could just as easily call up their second choice, Ramon. It might foil Sylvia's plans to sign him separately, but he would do it if necessary.

"That was exactly why we hired him," Nigel said brightly. "In the audition, we were impressed by how easily he took to every instrument he touched. It saves on session musicians if we have someone who can play lots of different things."

He turned to Troy. "What's your poison? I just made tea, but I know that's not exactly rock-and-roll. I think I've got butterbeer and I've got fire whiskey in the back..."

[Troy Wexler]

Merlin's beard, firewhiskey sounded so good at that moment. But with Eddie sitting right there, he knew his ex would judge--or possibly even say something to Nigel about his past. It was a complicated situation, because Eddie's presence was the only thing keeping him from drinking firewhiskey, and yet he was also the only reason he wanted to drink it in the first place.

But if he couldn't have firewhiskey, tea was not going to cover it either. So he'd settle for butterbeer. He glanced up at Eddie, almost as if asking for permission, as he said, "Butterbeer is fine, thanks."

He was uncomfortable listening to both of them talking about how talented he was, and he opted not to respond to it. He was always his own worst critic, and he didn't think he deserved any praise. The music was not even his, not really... it sort of came from without him, like some kind of gift that he couldn't control, just like he couldn't control the wildness and depression that alternately seized him. He never saw himself as being in much control of his own life.

"Nice place you got here," he said lamely. "When is the rest of the band getting here?"

[Robert "Ink" Atwell]

Uncharacteristically, Ink was the next to arrive. He did so with little fanfare, though he still did not knock. This house may as well have been a second home, and when there was a hungover bird in his bed at his own lodgings, who was insistent on making him brunch, it was just easier to use rehearsal as an excuse and show up early.

Or early for him, as technically, he was already running late.

"Forget the butterbeer," Ink said, by some grace of Merlin to at least two of them already in the room. "We need to initiate the new bloke." He clapped a and on Troy's shoulder. Mostly, this was for his own sake, because butterbeer was not going to do anything for his own hangover. But he knew what would, and he glanced then at the teacup in front of both Eddie and Nigel. "Firewhiskey all around. I won't accept rejection, never have."

[Nigel Barksworth]

It was a big relief when Ink waltzed in, cutting the tension in half with his easy-going craziness. It was rare that he would show up early, before Tobias, but here he was, at exactly the right time. He had already started toward the refrigerator to get a butterbeer for Troy, but he stopped and broken into a grin at Ink's comment.

It also presented an opportunity that he desperately needed. This was the perfect chance to get Eddie alone and see what was really going on here.

"Right. Butterbeer and tea aren't exactly rock and roll. I'll go get the firewhiskey from the pantry. Eddie, will you come with me and carry the glasses?"

[Eddie Shriver]

Ink's appearance was an answered prayer, in all honesty, though Eddie remained keenly aware of everything that was happening. Ink strolled right in, oblivious, it seemed, to the tension in the house, and all but saved the day.

And, like Troy, he really wanted a glass of firewhiskey. It didn't stop him from casting a glance at Troy to see if he was going to decline the glass, but it was a short look. It wasn't his place to judge Troy in any capacity.

The second blessing afforded to him was Nigel asking for him help. He was a smart guy and he knew what was happening, what questions would be asked when they were out of earshot, and as much as he would have loved to avoided answering them, it was better than sitting here, unable to breathe at all.

He nodded and got to his feet, following Nigel while trying to figure out just how much of the truth he would let slip. When they were out of sight of Troy and Ink, Eddie's steps faltered, pausing him in his tracks for just a moment while he took the first deep breath he'd been able to since Nigel opened the door earlier. He didn't even try to quip about Nigel hiding the good stuff, he just let the silence ride until Nigel decided to break it.

Troy was just in the other room. He couldn't stop picturing it, seeing him there, wondering how he managed to show up everywhere these days.

[Nigel Barksworth]

As they walked down the hall to the pantry and liquor closet, they didn't speak. Nigel suspected that Eddie was too stressed to speak at the moment, and was unlikely to volunteer any information. And for his part, Nigel was considering just how to discuss the situation with Eddie. Although neither Eddie nor Troy had admitted anything that would confirm it, Nigel certainly had his suspicions about their relationship. Clearly, they knew each other--they'd admitted that much. But the way the energy in the room had changed almost immediately, the way both of them had seemed so stiff and awkward... Nigel could pick up signals. Hell, it was pretty much his job to pick up on the emotions and signals of people and translate them into words that everyone could relate to.

The trouble here was that he and Eddie were still too new. Whatever future he might imagine with Eddie, they were certainly not there yet. They really hadn't gone into each other's pasts yet, their heartaches, or their deepest darkest secrets, or any of that. Those were the kinds of things that came after long nights in bed together, sharing intimate stories that only came from great trust and love. And he and Eddie weren't there yet. So it felt wrong to have to go here, to ask the question he needed to ask.

But it had to be done.

He pushed the pantry door open, revealing shelves of food on one side, and a miniature wine cellar on the other side. He walked over to that side, to the rack where the firewhiskey was kept, but instead of grabbing a bottle and turning to leave, he stopped and leaned against the shelf, looking at Eddie seriously.

"So, how well did you know him, really? I'm guessing you two weren't exactly casual acquaintances. Do you want me to fire him? I will if you ask me to."

[Eddie Shriver]

Eddie had opened his mouth to say two simple words- intimately well. They never had the chance to come out though, because right on top of that question was another that knocked the breath from him lungs. His inhale was audible, and, instantly, he responded with "No, you can't fire him."

Eddie could recognize that this was an incredible opportunity for Troy, and he was not going to be the person who destroyed that for him because he couldn't be an adult enough to move past their relationship. Besides, who knew what getting fired would do to Troy. Would it send him into a depressive spiral? Eddie wasn't going to be responsible for that, either. No, Troy deserved this position with the band.

Troy would know it was his fault, anyway. He and Nigel would walk back into the kitchen, and Nigel would apologize and tell Troy that he wasn't a good fit, and their eyes would meet, and all he'd be able to see was evidence of his own betrayal.

But the thoughts that were quietly nagging at the back of his mind were reminding him that the opposite was true as well. That he deserved this shot at something great with Nigel, and he needed to take an honest look at the thought that he might be throwing his own great opportunity away for Troy. It also wasn't his job anymore to protect Troy from him own behavior.

It was a rock and a hard place, and it made Eddie ache for everyone involved. A hand on his hip, he ran the other through his hair, breathing an expletive while he tried to think. Not a single one of these thoughts was something he felt he had the right to share with Nigel, either, but stuck in that moment, he didn't know what to do. He wished Yvonne was here, but he knew what she would say- tell Nigel to fire him. He'll have other opportunities and you're throwing away your own happiness.

Then, he supposed, there was the matter of the future. Would he be jealous if people threw themselves at the new, handsome bassist? Absolutely. But he would also be jealous when people threw themselves at the larger than life lead singer. The truth of it was that this would always be the hippogriff in the room, and it was his own fault.

"Okay," he said out loud, his eyes finally meeting Nigel's. He could do this. He could be an adult about this. "Okay, we're good. I'm good." Troy didn't ask for him back. He apologized and ended the conversation, expecting not to see Troy again. He had to swallow that, but it made this situation easier.

Troy didn't want him back.

He could do this.

[Troy Wexler]

Troy nearly fell over with relief when Ink joined them and insisted that Nigel break out the firewhiskey for all. He wasn't even sure what he was more relieved about--ink's arrival or the firewhiskey. But when Nigel led Eddie out of the room to get the booze, Troy finally sank down onto a chair and buried his face in his hands.

He wasn't fooled, of course. He knew that Nigel was pulling Eddie away to talk, and find out about the history between Troy and Eddie. And Eddie would obviously have to tell the truth. How much he would tell him was another story. Would he tell him about the breakdown? Would he tell him about the manic phases and the depression and the self destruction? Would he tell him how things ended?

And how would Nigel react? Would he want his boyfriend's ex to still be in the band? Bands had broken up over things like this. Troy knew it--he was poison. He was cursed and he was going to ruin everything, just like he always did.

Looking up at Ink, he sighed. "Well, it was nice meeting you, man. I'm probably gonna get fired before I even play a note."

[Robert "Ink" Atwell]

Ink was so pleased when no one argued with him, and Nigel and his boyfriend went to get the fire whiskey. He knew it wasn't a two person job, but he assumed they were sneaking off to have a snog or something in the couple of minutes his request provided. He was oblivious to anything else happening.

When Nigel disappeared, so did his smile, even before he realized that Troy was having a rough morning. He wished he'd been able to get rid of the groupie- he should still be sleeping and trying to kill whatever hangover was in the works. He needed alcohol as soon as wizardly possible or he was going to be in a lot of pain for this rehearsal.

And then there was Troy.

"Whoa, what? Did you show up hungover? That won't get you fired as long as you can still play." He managed a smile. "Trust me. Hell, I'm hungover now. The fire whiskey will help is both."

[Troy Wexler]

Troy was silently dying inside, wondering what was happening in the other room with Nigel and Eddie. He didn't want to hurt Eddie, and if he had known that the guy he was seeing was Nigel, he never would have even tried out in the first place. But the truth was, he needed this gig. Bartending was fine and all, but Troy needed to be doing something with music. Music was always the only thing that made him feel alive, like he had purpose in this life. Even when he was at his darkest moments, he needed music like he needed air. He might sometimes doubt that he was truly talented or good enough to be heard, but that was is illness talking. What really mattered was that playing music could make him forget for just a little while that he was even sick at all.

He glanced up at Ink, noting his confusion. Surely he was not at all interested in getting caught up in a gay love triangle. He was most likely thinking about the chick he'd spent the night with, or maybe just his next glass of firewhiskey. And really, why should it matter? They were here to play music, weren't they? Relationships shouldn't enter into it.

As logic re-entered Troy's head, he began to calm down a bit. Eddie might not be happy to see him here, but he'd never ask Nigel to fire him. And even if Nigel did want to fire him, Eddie would probably stick up for him. He was a stand-up kind of guy--a better guy than Troy would ever be.

He shook his head. "Nah, never mind. Just first-day jitters, I guess. I feel like such a dweeb."

[Nigel Barksworth]

Nigel should have felt relieved by Eddie's words, assuring him that he was fine, but instead he only felt more alarmed. No, whatever Eddie said, he was most certainly not fine. But one thing was resolved, anyway. "Ok, I won't fire him."

. He really didn't want to do that, anyway, at least not without giving the kid a fair shot. But there was definitely more to this story, and it was written all over Eddie's face. Nigel studied him for a moment, his mood calm but concerned. They we're still too new in their relationship for Nigel to really understand what Eddie was going through at that moment, but he was intuitive enough to know that he was very uncomfortable.

"You didn't answer my other question," he said gently. "How well do you know him? can you talk about it?"

[Eddie Shriver]

Eddie shook his head, though it wasn't really in an attempt to say no, he couldn't talk about it. Though, he couldn't really. He ran a hand over his face, buying himself just seconds to think of the best and yet most nondescript way to sum up the history between him and Troy. It was terribly unfair that he even had to do that, but sharing too much would have the band an alert- judging him every time he drank, constantly watching for the signs of a breakdown, treading on eggshells when he was there- all things Eddie had done, but that he had no right to subject Troy to now.

"We dated. Lived together for a while." His eyes met Nigel's and he added, "I ended it."

The rest of it, cruelly, was not his story to tell. He was already keeping things from Nigel to protect Troy, and he saw what a dark rabbit hole that could turn into. He needed to talk to Troy, at least to let him know that he intended to talk to Nigel.

"I'm sorry, Nigel. I didn't know it was him. I'm just shocked to see him, I'll get over it. Nothing to worry about."

[Robert "Ink" Atwell]

Mar 7, 2016 23:16:15 GMT -5 Troy Wexler said:

Troy was silently dying inside, wondering what was happening in the other room with Nigel and Eddie. He didn't want to hurt Eddie, and if he had known that the guy he was seeing was Nigel, he never would have even tried out in the first place. But the truth was, he needed this gig. Bartending was fine and all, but Troy needed to be doing something with music. Music was always the only thing that made him feel alive, like he had purpose in this life. Even when he was at his darkest moments, he needed music like he needed air. He might sometimes doubt that he was truly talented or good enough to be heard, but that was is illness talking. What really mattered was that playing music could make him forget for just a little while that he was even sick at all.

He glanced up at Ink, noting his confusion. Surely he was not at all interested in getting caught up in a gay love triangle. He was most likely thinking about the chick he'd spent the night with, or maybe just his next glass of firewhiskey. And really, why should it matter? They were here to play music, weren't they? Relationships shouldn't enter into it.

As logic re-entered Troy's head, he began to calm down a bit. Eddie might not be happy to see him here, but he'd never ask Nigel to fire him. And even if Nigel did want to fire him, Eddie would probably stick up for him. He was a stand-up kind of guy--a better guy than Troy would ever be.

He shook his head. "Nah, never mind. Just first-day jitters, I guess. I feel like such a dweeb."

Ink actually nodded. He understood what Troy was speaking about, though he'd been intoxicated when he brazenly promised the band he could outdrum any of their previous drummers one handed... and then did it. If Ink ever got nervous, he didn't show it, or he hid it under layers of charm and energy.

"It's better on stage, right?" He was oblivious to what was really going through Troy's head. "Somehow, playing in front of thousands is a lot easier and feels a lot less judgmental than playing in front of a couple of people you know. Is Tobias not here yet? He usually shows up before me."

[Nigel Barksworth]

Nigel felt his stomach lurch as Eddie confirmed what he had already suspected. Eddie and Troy had been a couple once. And it wasn't just a fling; they had been together long enough to live together. It had been serious, and judging by the tension between them, it had been intense. And the fact that Eddie wouldn't provide additional details about why he had ended the relationship told Nigel that it most likely had ended badly.

If he and Eddie had been together longer, Nigel might have felt a need to press for more information. As it was, however, there was no real commitment between them, and Nigel wasn't sure he had the right yet to even ask for the gory details. Part of him wished, however, that Eddie had been more willing to tell him about it, to open up to him and let him in. But he couldn't ask it, not yet.

And of course, there was one more question that remained unspoken. And Nigel didn't dare ask that question, either, but not for the same reason. The reason was because he feared the answer--and also because he suspected that he already knew what it was. The question was, did Eddie still love Troy?

Nigel was often more free with his heart. He had loved men, and he had even loved a few women, and he fell out of love as quickly as he fell into it. But he wanted to settle down, and find something more permanent. The last guy he had seriously dated, he had fallen hard for him. And it had also ended badly for him, because while he had been thinking of making a commitment, the other guy had been seeing other people. And it had hurt when he found out. Nigel didn't want to go trough that again. So if Eddie did still love Troy (not to mention whether Troy still loved Eddie), then Nigel really kind of needed to know. He didn't want to set himself up for another heartbreak. And yet... he didn't really want to know right now. He didn't think Eddie would be the type to play around, and if Eddie had any thoughts of getting back with Troy, he was sure that Eddie would tell him so. If it had been a bad breakup, as it seemed it had, maybe Eddie needed to get over Troy, and maybe Nigel could help him heal.

And so, Nigel decided, perhaps unwisely, to bury his head in the sand and not ask the hard question that seemed to be hanging in the air between them.

"I guessed as much," he said, cracking a slight smile. "Look, you don't have to tell me about it, not yet. Not if you don't want to. I just hope... I hope that eventually, you'll feel like you can tell me about it. And if it's awkward for you, then you don't have to hang out while we practice. I just want you to feel comfortable hanging out here--and right now, I feel like you don't."

He reached out, putting his hand on the other man's shoulder to comfort him.

[Eddie Shriver]

Eddie, meanwhile, waited for the anger. The inevitable ultimatum. The question that he knew Nigel must be burning to ask him.

And, unfortunately, it was an easy question to answer. He did still love Troy. He was always going to love Troy, and regardless of that fact that he knew he could love the man and not want to go through that again, he didn't expect Nigel to understand that. The harder question was whether or not he'd want a second chance with Troy. The short answer was no, but there was never short answers in love. They were always complicated. Maybe all of this would have been easier if Troy hadn't spent the time since he and Troy broke up thinking that he'd left too soon, if he'd just held on for a little longer, Troy would have gotten better and they'd be exactly where they always thought they would end up.

Although, technically speaking, Troy was just days away from becoming a fully employed, famous musician, and Eddie would likely be traveling with them, and they'd both be relatively happy. The only difference was that Eddie would be with another man.

Another man who was standing in front of him being incredibly understanding and even patient. Eddie was fairly positive that he would have jealous and heated, and here Nigel was, accepting the vague information he was given with class and without questions.

The thing was, Eddie wanted to tell him. He wanted Nigel to understand what had happened, to understand what Eddie had gone through while Troy was going through his own thing, but he had no right to share that information about Troy. And so he had to keep it to himself, and Nigel knew he was keeping things already. He hated everything about this and wondered what he'd done for fate to deal him this hand. Was he being tested? Was he being shown that he needed to really move on? Was he being told to give Troy a second chance? He'd already made this decision once... he couldn't make it again.

"I just wasn't expecting him," Eddie answered, his voice barely more than a low rumble in his chest. He wondered if he should tell Nigel about running into Troy a couple weeks ago, if it would help and assure Nigel that he was trying to be as honest as possible, or would it only make things worse, make Nigel imagine a recent history that didn't exist? He sighed- again, but did not pull away when Nigel reached out.

Unfortunately, the story of their breakup was going to have to come from Troy.

"If it gets too weird, I'll leave, but I'm okay." Before he let Nigel pull back, he added, "Come over for dinner tonight. Please?"

[Nigel Barksworth]

Oddly, in this moment, Nigel found that he really missed Saul. Not just because if Saul was still here, then this situation would never have happened, but because Saul's steady, neutral presence had always been so comforting. In fact, it was actually something Nigel had always aspired to in his life--when things got tough, he often asked himself "What would Saul do?" He was like the stand-up bass he sometimes played in place of the bass guitar--towering and stalwart and utterly unfazed by anything.

Nigel was a bit more passionate than that, and, make no mistake, at the moment, he was dying inside just as surely as Eddie himself was. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't jealous, that what he didn't know about this situation didn't hurt him. But he was also practical enough to realize that of course Eddie had a history, just as he did, and just as anyone else would have. It was, in no way, Eddie's fault or even Troy's, that they just happened to wind up in this situation tonight. It was just one of the cruel ways fate intervened to kick them all in the bollocks.

But he couldn't let this moment pass without making his intentions known, at least. It wasn't exactly "staking a claim," but he wanted Eddie to know that he didn't just think of this as a fling or a dalliance. He wanted more, and he was willing to be as patient as it took.

"No one expects their ex to walk back into their lives," he said. "It's just one of those things that happens. I saw my last ex at a show in Manchester last month. He was with his latest boy toy, too... it was pretty painful. So, believe me, I get it. We all have our histories. The point is, it's in the past... And I prefer to look to the future, rather than dwell in the past."

"I'd love to come over to dinner," he said. "Especially if you're cooking."

[Troy Wexler]

Mar 12, 2016 12:57:53 GMT -5 Robert "Ink" Atwell said:

Ink actually nodded. He understood what Troy was speaking about, though he'd been intoxicated when he brazenly promised the band he could outdrum any of their previous drummers one handed... and then did it. If Ink ever got nervous, he didn't show it, or he hid it under layers of charm and energy.

"It's better on stage, right?" He was oblivious to what was really going through Troy's head. "Somehow, playing in front of thousands is a lot easier and feels a lot less judgmental than playing in front of a couple of people you know. Is Tobias not here yet? He usually shows up before me."

Troy relaxed a little. In a way, he almost sensed a similarity between him and Ink. The drummer was known for his crazy ways, but here, like this, he was just as normal as anyone else. Troy recognized the tendency toward highs and lows, although he was pretty sure Ink was not manic-depressive like himself. He was simply more confident on the stage or with a drink in his hand, when he could hide behind that crazy rock star persona. Troy didn't have quite the "rock star" persona, but his manic phases were similar in a way, and he knew that when he was on stage, or just performing with an instrument in his hands--that was when he could hide and let the music speak in ways he could never really manage to do in his real life.

"Yeah, exactly. I don't even know what to do with myself if I don't have an instrument in my hands. I'm not that great in the social situations most of the time... just put me on the stage and let me play."

[Eddie Shriver]

Mar 12, 2016 23:27:50 GMT -5 Nigel Barksworth said:

Oddly, in this moment, Nigel found that he really missed Saul. Not just because if Saul was still here, then this situation would never have happened, but because Saul's steady, neutral presence had always been so comforting. In fact, it was actually something Nigel had always aspired to in his life--when things got tough, he often asked himself "What would Saul do?" He was like the stand-up bass he sometimes played in place of the bass guitar--towering and stalwart and utterly unfazed by anything.

Nigel was a bit more passionate than that, and, make no mistake, at the moment, he was dying inside just as surely as Eddie himself was. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't jealous, that what he didn't know about this situation didn't hurt him. But he was also practical enough to realize that of course Eddie had a history, just as he did, and just as anyone else would have. It was, in no way, Eddie's fault or even Troy's, that they just happened to wind up in this situation tonight. It was just one of the cruel ways fate intervened to kick them all in the bollocks.

But he couldn't let this moment pass without making his intentions known, at least. It wasn't exactly "staking a claim," but he wanted Eddie to know that he didn't just think of this as a fling or a dalliance. He wanted more, and he was willing to be as patient as it took.

"No one expects their ex to walk back into their lives," he said. "It's just one of those things that happens. I saw my last ex at a show in Manchester last month. He was with his latest boy toy, too... it was pretty painful. So, believe me, I get it. We all have our histories. The point is, it's in the past... And I prefer to look to the future, rather than dwell in the past."

"I'd love to come over to dinner," he said. "Especially if you're cooking."

"I saw Troy a couple weeks ago," Eddie blurted out, really before he could think any better of it. It was spurred by Nigel's story. But it was out there now, and he went with it. "I just want you to know that I'll be honest with you. It was the first time we'd seen each other since we ended things. We had a cup of coffee, caught up a little... went our separate ways." That was supposed to be the end of it, except that he was here again. "And I'm sorry yours showed again."

He was sorry about all of this.

Instead of every other thought in his mind, he confirmed, "I'm cooking. Would love the opportunity to make something for you that's not Italian." He hoped the quip would break the tension, at least.

[Nigel Barksworth]

How, exactly, was Nigel supposed to respond to this? A suspicious man might think that Troy had somehow realized that his ex was now seeing Nigel and had seized on the opportunity to go to the audition, just to see if he could make things uncomfortable for everyone. It certainly wasn't an impossible assumption, since jealousy could make a man do terrible things.

However, Nigel remembered the look on Troy's face, and the shock and awkwardness that followed. Either Troy was a very good actor or he had been genuinely taken by surprise to see Eddie here. No, this was not some conspiracy or twisted revenge plot... it was just the cruel twisting of fate.

But hearing that Eddie and Troy had met a few weeks ago... well, it hurt. Even if Troy hadn't showed up here on purpose, it meant that he had met up with Eddie recently, that they had caught up... and that Eddie hadn't told him about it at the time. That made him the outsider, and while maybe it hadn't been intentional, it meant that Eddie was already keeping secrets from him. An awkward meeting with one's ex was a noteworthy occasion... something to talk about with the new love. Wasn't it?

As much as he didn't want to know, Nigel opened his mouth and found himself asking "Do you still love him?"