Now Face to Face (Kryshna, Rutger)

[Kieran Michael Dawn]

When Kieran left Kryshna, he slipped off to the staff lounge for a break. He felt strangely drained, and he didn't think it had anything to do with the bit of his own blood he'd given to the vampire. It was actually sort of a good feeling... he'd worked hard all night, he'd concentrated heavily, and he'd made it through an entire night without wanting a drink. Even now, as he laid his head back on the couch, he didn't feel like he wanted a drink or anything to take the edge off.

His reaction to Kryshna should have scared him, but it didn't. Somehow, it made sense to him that he'd be drawn to her. He knew that she had done terrible things, and probably had killed more people than he had even known in his entire lifetime. She'd lived for centuries, and seen things he couldn't even begin to imagine. And yet somehow he felt like, in spite of all of that, there was a part of her that was as lost as he was. While he was grieving for lost love, she had never even learned to love. Somehow that seemed even sadder than what he'd been through.

Kieran closed his eyes, and before he knew it, he fell asleep. The rest of the night must have been slow, because no one bothered to wake him up until the next morning, when he was supposed to be off.

But before he went home for the day, there was one thing he had to do. Lucia, the morning receptionist, told him where the auror's room was, so he went in to talk to the German and urge him to see Kryshna.

He found the man slumped over in a chair next to his partner. He was holding her hand, and his eyes were closed. Kieran hesitated for a long moment, watching to see if the man was asleep. But then he shifted and opened his eyes, and Kieran stepped forward haltingly.

"Er... excuse me, sir?" he began, not knowing how else to approach the situation.

[Rutger Kilborn]

Rutger wasn't sleeping, of course, though he should have been. He should have gone back to the hotel while Alana was sleeping, but he just couldn't bring himself to leave her. Still, he couldn't sit her with her forever, and sooner or later, he was going to have to check in with the others.

He shifted in his chair and turned at the sound of someone clearing his throat in the doorway. The boy (for he looked like a boy to Rutger) seemed hesitant and unsure, and Rutger straightened up a little to look at him. By the way he was dressed, he assumed that the boy was one of the healers.

"Yes?" he asked politely.

[Kieran Michael Dawn]

It was strange how Kieran could perform surgery on a vampire, and later give her his own blood, but this man was somehow more intimidating. Maybe it was just because the vampire had been restrained, or maybe it was because Kieran knew that his reason for being here wasn't likely to go over very well with this man. He wasn't supposed to go back in with the creature after the procedure had been completed, and yet he had done so anyway. And now he was going to tell the auror who captured her that she wanted to see him.

Kieran cleared his throat again and spoke in a stronger voice than he felt, "I was on the team that... treated the vampire. I thought you might like to know... she's requested to see you."

[Rutger Kilborn]

Rutger nodded quietly. This information didn't surprise him. Based on what he now understood of Kryshna's code of--ethics, if you could call it that--he had conquered her and she would now want to see what he expected from her.

He didn't really want to deal with the creature yet. He was exhausted and still somewhat on edge about Alana. But he also understood he couldn't keep her waiting much longer. If left alone for too long, she might become more hostile and less willing to answer his questions when he was ready to interrogate her.

He gave one last glance at Alana, ensuring that she was sleeping peacefully, without too much pain. Then he looked back at the young man, slowing getting to his feet.

"Lead the way."

[Kieran Michael Dawn]

Kieran nodded and waited a moment. Looking at the auror, he questioned the wisdom of taking this man to see the vampire at this time. He looked as though he hadn't slept in years, and Kieran wondered briefly if he'd collapse right on the floor. But he didn't, and Kieran decided to let it go. After all, he wasn't the man's doctor, and he wasn't about to interfere any more than he already was doing.

Instead, he turned and led the auror down a long hallway to a door. The door led to a staircase which went down three floors... it was where they kept the most extreme quarantine cases. They didn't use it much these days, but a case this extreme certainly called for it. Still, even though it was the most secure location in the hospital, he knew they couldn't continue to keep the creature here for long. If the public found out they were keeping a vampire in St. Mungo's, there would be an outcry.

When he finally reached the door to where the vampire was being kept, he stopped. There were two guards just in front of them, looking dark and forbidding. They were different from the ones he'd persuaded to let him in earlier, and Kieran didn't doubt that he wouldn't have had the courage to try if they had been there then.

[Rutger Kilborn]

Rutger allowed the professional side of him to take over again as he followed the young healer to the room where Kryshna was being kept. It actually felt comfortable and familiar to go back to work and stop thinking about personal issues. This was what he knew, what he was used to, Yes, he was tired, but he was always tired. He knew how to ignore it by now.

When they stopped at the door, Rutger stepped forward, pulling out his Ministry ID. "I need to see the prisoner," he explained.

The guards looked over his ID, and one of them ran his wand over the card, as if checking for signs of transfiguration or other flaws. After a moment, the man handed the card back to Rutger, then waved his wand in front of Rutger himself, again checking to see that he was who he said he was. Finally, he nodded, stepping aside to let him pass.

Rutger's hand hesitated only slightly on the doorknob. He took a deep breath and forced himself to focus only on the task at hand. Then he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Hello, Kryshna," he said.

[Kryshna]

It had been a few hours since Kieran had left Kryshna, still locked in the cell. All her wounds had healed by then, not even scars could be left to see where she had been injured. Her mask had been removed and her hair was down. She still had blood on her from the fight, mostly around where her wound had been. The thick chains were still attached to her wrists and around them is the only sign of injury on her, obviously from her struggling against the chains.

When he walked in, she was seated against the far wall, as far away from the beam of false sunlight as she could get. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She looked human at that moment, a quiet and scared human girl.

She heard her name being said and looked up. Her deep brown eyes met with his and he could see that she looked exhausted. She had struggled much of the day before Kieran had come in and again throughout the night. Even vampires need to sleep, but with the sunlight in the room, she couldn't for fear of it. She was pale and weak looking.

Kryshna's eyes moved to the closing door and saw Kieran through it. Their eyes met for just a second and she seemed to give him a silent, and exhausted, thank you before the door closed. Her eyes then moved back to Rutger.

Her first lost target. She had never failed to kill a man until him. Now, she had failed to kill three. Her eyes made contact with his. She was helpless. Even if she had wanted to attack him, she couldn't. Her weapons had been taken, her kukri, scimitar and wand. Even beyond that, her code kept her from attacking him.

Finally, she spoke. It was not in english and she spoke everything twice. Once in a middle eastern language (persian) and repeated in German, a language she is mostly fluent in.

"Target number 536, male, 190.5 centimeters tall, born Germany. Name... Rutger Kilborn."

She rambled off these facts about him almost as if in a trance, not quite looking at him, more through him.

"Born during second of world wars. Found magic at 3. Taken to test camp. Attended Durmstrang Institute. Became Auror after graduation. Hunting down the serial killer called Kryshna for 7 years, taking over now 10 year case after previous investigator 'retired'. Partner, Alana Kalb. Assassination of target... failed..."

She had studied him, hard. When he had been her target, she had put much time in learning about him and his ways. She remembered every detail about him.

She looked away from him then for just a moment, gathering her scattered thoughts. Finally, she turned back. There was blood rimming her eyes, as if they were tears. She looked him in the eye and he could see, even in this monster, there was fear. She spoke again, this time in English.

"He has come to kill the Creature?"

[Rutger Kilborn]

Rutger stared at her, watching her warily as she spoke. It was a bit shocking to hear her speak about him in that way... just a number... a potential statistic. But if that made him uncomfortable, he was downright creeped out when she rattled off his history without any expression or apparent comprehension.

He never talked about those things. Yes, he supposed that the information was still available in his Ministry employment records--they would have checked up on him before he started working there. But he never talked about it, never mentioned it to another person. And it bothered him immensely that Kryshna knew this about him. It made him feel vulnerable... like she knew him better than he knew her. Perhaps even better than he knew himself.

He didn't say anything, though. He wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, call her attention to it. He couldn't let her see it was a weakness. He'd learned a long time ago to push it down, squash it, bury it so deep that no one could see how much it hurt.

He sat down on a chair stationed halfway across the room from her, studying her quietly. When she finally looked back at him at their eyes locked, he shivered ever so slightly while she spoke again.

Drawing his breath deeply, as if to steel himself, he answered in German, "No, Kryshna. I'm not going to kill you. I don't kill people... or vampires. I help people. Maybe I can help you, too... if you will help me."

[Kryshna]

Her eyes grew cold and crimson. It was as if she was a whole other being than the scared girl she had been just a second before hand. She looked dead at him. It was, again, the monster that had killed all those people.

"It is not a person... Object, weapon, killer. Needs no help... gives no help..."

And just as quickly, she was back again. She held her head, rocking back and forth.

"She is not worth saving... She... I... killed so many... broke the code. Killed innocent. Not worthy of help... of mercy. Death to the unworthy..."

She looked up to the door, thinking about the healer Kieran and what he had said to her. He had given her hope, if she was even capable of feeling or understanding it. She closed her eyes a moment, thinking, calming herself before shifting to fully face Rutger.

"German wants this creature's help... German wants the creature to kill again?"

[Rutger Kilborn]

Rutger didn't even flinch when she seemed to transform abruptly into the savage creature. He knew now that she would not attack him, even if she hadn't been so tightly restrained. And he had seen enough to know that even normal, non-magical human beings could, on occasion turn into heartless monsters. He had not quivered in fear from them, and he would not be intimidated by her, either.

He was puzzled by her question, and he frowned for a moment. He was trying to make her understand that he didn't believe in killing others... but he realized that death was all she understood. Most likely she had not been looked upon with kindness or compassion in a very long time, if at all.

"No. I don't want you to kill again. In fact, if I have any say in the matter, you will never kill again."

He paused again, trying to frame his words in a way she would understand.

"Your code is very different from mine," he explained at last. "I do not believe in killing living beings, no matter how violent or brutal or... unworthy. And I'm not sure I'm ready to believe that even you are beyond help. At the very least, I can do things to make your existence more comfortable... less stressful. But I need something from you. I need information."

[Kryshna]

"Code... Hashassin code. Kill the vile. Destroy the corrupt. Loyalty to the Mountain and each other. Avenge the fallen. Never harm a Proven. Protect each other... Protect the innocent."

She paused, thinking about her last phrase. She repeated this all in her native tongue. The last phrase, Hafiz liajli, she repeated several times, slowly. Suddenly she growled and slammed her fists into the ground, creating a bit of a dent in it. Blood dripped just a bit from her hands where they hit.

"Failure... Broke the code..."

She looked down at her hands.

"Failed my brothers... failed the innocent."

[Rutger Kilborn]

Rutger was quiet while she rambled. He had suspected there was a code she lived by, and he was fascinated to hear her speak of it now. He had uncovered the term "Hashassin" in his research on the symbol she left at each crime scene, but little was known about the clan, except that they were supposedly extinct and possibly mythical. But here before him was proof of their existence. She might have been the last of her clan, but she was here.

In an odd way, he felt sorry for her. He had to keep thinking about Alana, lying in that hospital bed, wracked with pain, just to keep him focused on the task at hand. He couldn't allow himself to feel pity for this creature. She was not a helpless, innocent girl. She was a killer.

"Why did you break the code, Kryshna?" he asked at last. "And why did you try to kill me?"

[Kryshna]

"Were in the way, causing problems. Too close to the truth. Too late now. German is proven and can not be touched."

She seemed to be coming back to her better mind. She looks up at him quietly, studying him again.

"Why do you hunt, but not kill me?"

[Rutger Kilborn]

Knowing what he knew now, Rutger couldn't help but feel that he hadn't really been that close at all back then. Maybe he'd been edging closer to it, but his profile of her had been all wrong. He hadn't even realized that she was a vampire until that night in the hotel.

He studied her again. Looking at her now, it really did seem impossible that she could have done the things she had done. But he knew better than to be taken in by her slim, fragile-looking appearance.

Questions swirled around in his head, and he was having trouble deciding what to ask her first. He'd been searching for her for so long, and now she was finally sitting in front of him... it almost didn't seem real. Everything seemed hazy, like something out of a dream. Except Rutger didn't dream.

"So no one told you to kill me?" he asked. "You just went after me because I was getting too close. And I survived, so now you can't touch me."

He nodded to himself, thinking. Everything seemed black and white to her, and everything was about death. He was sure that he seemed just as odd to her as she did to him.

"I was hunting you because I had to stop you. I couldn't let you keep hurting people. Why did you harm innocents if it was against your code?"

[Kryshna]

"Was raised to kill. Raised to take life. Difficult today. Too many yous around. Investigating. Your type care not if innocent or evil. Only if dead or alive. Dark lord brought me in to kill for him. Directed me. Told me they needed to go for greater good. Research done for me, just had to kill. Old days, never had to research, think. Clan pointed out targets, I killed them. Clan is dead now. I wandered many years, alone. Found evil people on own to kill. Hunting was harder. Dark Lord found me and offered new clan."

She was just a beast. Even to say all of that, she struggled to find each word. It was not her position in un-life to think about who she was suppose to kill, only to kill them. The Dark Lord was the one to point her in the right direction of who to kill.

"Just a weapon."

[Rutger Kilborn]

Rutger again sat still, watching her silently as she struggled to communicate. It might have seemed to an impartial observer that he was completely impartial, even passive as she spoke about being trained to kill. But inside, his thoughts were swirling and his emotions were bubbling just beneath the surface.

He could have been like her. Not a vampire, of course, but a trained killer. That was what the muggles had wanted from him and the other children... to be magical weapons against their enemies. But Rutger had never submitted to the training. The research he'd had no choice about, but he would not be a weapon. And to this day, he had never taken a life.

"I care," he told her simply. "I care who is evil and who is innocent. The evil need to be punished... but no one deserves to have their lives forcibly taken from them."

For the first time since entering the room, Rutger stood up and began to pace back and forth, now visibly agitated. It was apparent to him now that Kryshna had no sense of right or wrong... no concept of the value of human life. Of course, she was a vampire and he should have expected that, but to see it put in such stark terms disturbed him. She killed who they told her to kill... She didn't bother to think about whether the victims truly deserved to die.

"You know, most of your victims were good people. Not evil. They helped others. They were innocent. Your Dark Lord told you to kill them just because he didn't like what they were doing... not because they were evil. They didn't deserve to die."

He turned to face her then, and his eyes were intense and angry. "Are you evil, Kryshna?"

[Kryshna]

"Evil is relative. Human term for human emotions. Is a sword evil when used to kill? Tigers evil for killing a deer? All humans capable of evil. Wizards just as human as humans. If one dies to protect a thousand, is it still evil to kill that one? Hitler died to save millions. He was evil. A nazi soldier killed many on the battlefield, thinking to protect his family. Worked for an evil man, did what humans call evil, but not evil."

She was looking straight at him. She was very calm and rather clear in how her mind worked. Evil, yes, was a term taught to her. She understood what it meant. But, she was not human. For her, killing was not evil.

"Is the creature evil, Rutger?"

[Rutger Kilborn]

It might have seemed sudden to anyone else, but in that moment, Rutger's self-control cracked. The mention of Hitler pushed him over the edge, and a part of him wondered whether she had said it just to deliberately provoke him.

He lunged at her, seething, and stopped just short of where she was chained. He was illuminated in the enchanted sunlight, giving him a white-hot, glowing appearance as he raged, "Hitler didn't die to save millions. He died to save his own neck and avoid facing up to the truth of what he'd done!"

He wasn't sure if Kryshna was capable of the kind of logic that would allow her to piece together the effect that Hitler had had on Rutger's life or to understand that mentioning it would upset him. He was still trying to figure out how her mind worked, but it was apparent that she did have some sort of intelligence beyond that of a beast.

"What I think doesn't matter right now. I haven't made my mind up yet. I want to know if you think you are evil. I want to know if you understand what you've done and why it was wrong. I want to know if you are worth saving. People are going to tell me that I should have killed you... or let you die. They're going to tell me that I should kill you. But I don't want to kill you, Kryshna. Give me a reason why I shouldn't."

[Kryshna]

Kryshna did not know that mentioning Hitler would be a trigger for Rutger. His anger confused her a bit, but when he charged, she did not move. Only her very subtle expression changed to confusion. Even as he spoke of Hitler trying to escape, it was a confused amusement.

"Hitler did not kill self. Was going to escape. One of mine did the work. Subtle. Make him look like a coward..."

No, she had not killed Hitler, but as far as she was concerned, someone like her did. They were the people, the things brought in when no one else can do the job.

As for Rutger, she had realized something about him. She was never good at processing human emotions or being able to read a person. But Rutger was different. He wasn't just another person. Something about him reminded her of her. Duty led him. He had very little empathy or knowledge of other human's emotions. All this had made her realize something deeper about him.

She stood up now, slowly, and started to approach him. The chains clinked along the ground behind her with each purposeful slow step. Her eyes were locked with his. She moved until she was right in front of him, only the break between sunlight and shadow separated them. She was a good deal shorter than he was, but at that moment, he could see the beast and the girl clearly at the same time and he understood that, if she wanted to, she could have torn him limb from limb. Her eyes glowed with a crimson light that seemed to pierce through him to his soul and the shadows seemed to grow deeper around her. As she spoke, she formed each word slowly and precisely.

"You won't kill me for you do not want to become me. We are too similar. Duty bound and hunters. Raised to do terrible things. Unable to relate to the humans around us. Both of us dead. Only difference between you who stands in that light and me who stands in this shadow is I am the killer. Don't be like me."

She was in control. The beast was there, yes, but she actually had control over it. But she wanted him to see what would happen if he crossed that line, for once he did, there was no going back.

[Rutger Kilborn]

It was Rutger's turn to be confused. Her claims... they contradicted everything he knew. Hitler murdered? Not a suicide? It had always bothered him greatly that Hitler had been able to kill himself, that he'd never been caught or forced to face justice for what he'd done. To think that someone might have killed him, instead of killing himself, was only a small comfort. If he had been murdered, it meant at least he'd been punished... someone had played judge, jury, and executioner. But he still had not been forced to stand up before the world and face the consequences of what he'd done... the millions whose deaths he had caused. And that still didn't seem fair.

"You're lying," he murmured. "That's not true..."

He was still processing this information when she stood up and started to approach him. He drew himself up to his full height, standing taut and ready, like a rubber band about to snap. If she tried to attack him, he was ready to fight back.

But he was not ready for what she said. Whatever was going on in her head, she had figured him out. He'd had the same thoughts since entering the room with Kryshna and hearing how she'd been trained to kill, but to have her realize it, to speak it aloud in such a manner... Well, it terrified the hell out of him.

"I am nothing like you!" he yelled, his face dangerously close to hers and yet still not crossing the line between light and shadows. He let out an angry cry and, frustrated, ran at the chair he'd been sitting on earlier, kicking it and knocking it over with a loud crash.

"I am nothing like you," he repeated, knowing it was a lie.

But was it? He was capable of human emotions; he had simply shut them out, pushed them deep down inside him. He had trouble relating to other people, but sometimes, someone could get through to him. Actually, only one someone... and she was lying in a bed in this very building, suffering terrible pain. But Alana made him feel something that this creature would never feel. Alana made him human.