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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 10, 2009 1:30:43 GMT -5
Riley sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm making a mess of this again." Even she knew she had a habit of taking a really great moment and bringing it down in nearly an instant. She hated that she did it, and loved him for putting up with it.
It wasn't that she thought Roland was a man slut, or that she thought he was better than her. It was just those moments when she felt like a child in front of him that she had this deep, aching fear that she wasn't experienced enough in many areas for him. Yes, sex was one of those areas, but sometimes she didn't feel experienced enough in life lessons, either.
"All right," she said, holding back a sigh. "But I can't think of anything right now."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 10, 2009 11:21:19 GMT -5
Ironically, however, there were a lot of ways in which Roland was surprisingly naive. Coming from such a close family, he was, to a certain extent, somewhat sheltered. Some of the things she had been through--her father walking out, her mother remarrying, and her stepbrother harassing her--these were all things Roland couldn't understand or fully relate to. To him, family stuck together through everything, and love was enough to beat any odds. That was why the trouble between his parents was so devastating to him, because they had never had trouble before.
"It's OK," he said gently, kissing the tip of her nose. "You don't have to apologize. It makes you uncomfortable to think much about my past... I just wish I didn't have one for you to be uncomfortable with. Just understand that I don't want that anymore. I only want you."
He smiled lightly as he brushed a hand across her cheek. "Can I tell you just one of mine? You'll laugh at this one, I promise. And you might even remember it, although you might not have known it was me."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 10, 2009 12:59:27 GMT -5
"You misunderstand me," Riley murmured. "Your past doesn't make me uncomfortable, Roland. It makes you who you are, and for that reason alone, I would never wish you had a different past. I love you. I just feel terribly inexperienced when I think about the things you must have done, the adventures... it's not even just about the sex, Roland. In fact, that's a very small part of it."
She curled herself against him. It amazed her sometimes just how patient he was with her.
"Yes... tell me."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 10, 2009 13:32:11 GMT -5
"Oh, honey..." he said, leaning in to kiss her. "I don't want someone with more experience. I love that you're mostly innocent of these things, because it means there's more that I can share with you. And you've been through things that I haven't... I think we have a lot we can learn from each other."
He scanned her face for a moment, trying to reassure her with his eyes. He needed her to understand that if he had really wanted any of those girls or any part of his old life, he never would have touched her. But without realizing it, she had drawn him in, opening up the secret part of him that had longed for someone to understand and love him. He'd told himself he was content with his life before, but never happy. There had always been something missing, and he now knew that it was her all along. She filled in the empty spaces inside him.
Finally, he smiled and licked his lips, preparing himself to tell the story that only a few people knew. "OK, before I start, I should tell you that there are only 5 people who know about this... or rather, that it was me. It was pretty embarrassing, and I don't want the rest of my family to know about it. But you know I trust you completely."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 10, 2009 14:19:00 GMT -5
She wasn't sure what he could learn from her. Riley came from a dysfunctional, broken family with now values of loyalty. She really hoped that Roland would never learn that from her. She wouldn't tell him out right, but she was going to take a lot of her parenting and relationship cues from him. He taught her patience and trust, and those were invaluable to her, even now when she still had a hard time grasping them.
"I won't tell a soul, and you know that," Riley said, her eyes meeting his. "But now you're building suspense, and I'm getting really curious."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 10, 2009 14:33:01 GMT -5
Roland laughed. "OK, OK," he said at last. "Here it is. When I was in my seventh year, I had this bet going with this Ravenclaw kid, Michael. I bet that Gryffindor was going to win the Quidditch cup that year. But if you'll remember, Ravenclaw won it. Slytherin beat Gryffindor in the finals, so the last game was between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. So my payment was that I had to run through the quidditch pitch... wearing nothing but blue paint from head to toe, except for a big yellow R on my chest."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 10, 2009 15:45:28 GMT -5
Riley nearly rolled her eyes. That was definitely something she could see Roland doing... and not being that ashamed, either.
"I honestly had no idea that was you. How much trouble did you get in for that?" She wondered if he'd gotten in any at all. Roland had a charming habit of talking his way out of trouble in most situations. She even had a hard time being angry with him anymore, considering how easy it was to be mad at him in the beginning.
She owed him one for that, she supposed, trying really hard to think of anything that might have reflected her wilder days. She'd given up studies for a time (that was just a phase though). She even walked out on an OWL exam. She knew she acted out, but most of it was probably half hearted since there was no one around to notice it... no one that she wanted to notice, anyway.
"I ran away once over the summer between my 3rd and 4th year. Went to a muggle train station and everything."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 10, 2009 16:00:37 GMT -5
He at least had the sense to look a little sheepish. "So you do remember it, then? Yeah... hardly anyone knew it was me. I made Michael keep it a secret. The only people that knew besides me and him were his sister, Hayden, and Professor McGonagall, who caught me at the end and dragged me off to her office. She gave me two weeks of detention, and that was after I talked her down from a month. I still can't look the woman in the face, after having to sit in her office naked."
What he didn't say was that his half of the bet, if he had won, had involved a date with Michael's sister. After he had lost the bet, Michael had told everything to his sister, and she refused to speak with him for the rest of the year.
He grew serious as she began to tell her own story. He could also picture her doing it, just trying to run away and leave everything behind. "Where were you going to go?" he asked.
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 10, 2009 17:25:42 GMT -5
Maybe she was smart enough not to ask what his end of the bet had been, or just assumed that the other person would have had to do the same thing in Gryffindor's colors. It didn't seem to matter to her, whatever reason she kept from asking.
She laughed a little. "I knew you talked your way out of trouble on that one," she said, shaking her head slightly. "I was never able to do that... I actually got in trouble for the things I did. I sort of feel bad for Minerva, though. She's probably seen quite a lot more than any of us ever realize."
She shrugged when he asked where she would have gone. "I was trying to buy a ticket to Aberdeen, Scotland. I figured if I left England, no one would be able to find me. The guy behind the window selling tickets kept refusing to help me out. I think I only had about half of what a ticket cost. Then he told me he was going to call my parents... I snuck on a train, and I didn't even know where it was going. Anyway, I didn't get far."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 10, 2009 18:08:02 GMT -5
Roland laughed. "Well, only partially. But I did talk her out of contacting my parents, who I am pretty sure would not have been amused. I could deal with a couple of weeks in detention, but I did not want them contacting my parents." He shrugged. "I always liked Minerva... She was one of my favorite teachers, actually. Luckily, I think she liked me, because I could usually talk her into giving me lighter punishments than I deserved."
Why did all of her stories make him ache for her and the things she had gone through in a family that hadn't loved her as it should have? He'd had everything so damn easy compared to her, and to him, he felt like his stories were always so juvenile. "What happened?" he asked gently. "Where did you end up?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 10, 2009 19:42:52 GMT -5
"Your parents probably would have not been surprised if they had heard though, and we know that your mum is easily swayed where you're concerned."
She shifted in his arms again, which was starting to notice was a habit of hers when she was uncomfortable, but trying to share with him all the same.
"I made it a few cities north of London when they started checking for tickets, and the made me get off the train. I ended up calling Geoff... I barely knew him at the time, too."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 10, 2009 20:32:29 GMT -5
"No, they probably wouldn't have been, but I'm sure I could have expected a Howler from Mum... believe me, those were pretty much the only thing I was afraid of back then." He shuddered at that. A Howler was pretty much the only way his mother could yell at him without him talking her out of it, and he'd managed to get quite a few in his days at Hogwarts.
He nodded as she explained what had happened when she ran away. He was not surprised when she mentioned calling Geoffrey. Of course she would call him, and even if he barely knew him back then, Geoffrey would certainly come running. "Is that how you started staying with him over the summer?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 10, 2009 22:46:17 GMT -5
Riley could imagine his mum angry, and she could almost imagine the howlers. She'd probably heard a small handful of them over meals and the like, but she never paid attention to Roland in school. She would have never remembered them enough to link them to him specifically.
"I never really put it together like that, but yeah... I guess that is how I started spending summers with him. The year after, he just asked if I wanted to, and it was that or go home... I didn't deliberate over the choice much. I might have really run away that next year if he hadn't stepped in first."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 10, 2009 23:04:43 GMT -5
He reached over and took her hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm glad Geoffrey was there for you back then. You're lucky to have him for a friend."
There was still a part of Roland that couldn't help but be jealous of Geoffrey, because he had a history with Riley that Roland could never touch. But just as he hoped Riley could get past his history with Nathalia and the other women, he knew he would have to learn to accept her friendship with Geoffrey. After all, Geoffrey had been there for her when she had needed someone, and deep down, Roland really was glad that there had been someone looking out for her back then.
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 11, 2009 15:18:40 GMT -5
"I'm glad you're here for me now," Riley returned, squeezing his hand in turn. "And I'm lucky to have you, too." She smiled and kissed him. What she kept t herself was that Geoffrey had probably saved her a few times from really going down dark paths, and maybe it was thanks, in part, to Geoffrey that she was who Roland fell in love with it.
"Let's go do something crazy," she said suddenly. "So that we have a story together... you know, short of you dying again. Just something fun. I miss not worrying about things."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 11, 2009 16:37:58 GMT -5
Roland closed his eyes as she kissed him, just allowing himself to get lost in her. The thought had occurred to him as well that Geoffrey was an important part of who she was, although he didn't really know how much. But because he understood how much Geoffrey meant to her, he silently resolved to do whatever it took to get on better terms with his cousin. It wasn't fair to put Riley in the middle of a conflict between them.
He laughed at her suggestion. "What, right now?" he asked, surprised. "I think it sounds like a great idea, but what do you want to do?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 13, 2009 19:55:36 GMT -5
"Yeah, right now. It's not very wild and crazy if we plan it out, now is it?" Riley laughed lightly. "I don't have any ideas, though. We're still on suspension... let's just skip town. Let's go bungee jumping in Brazil, or... I guess I can't really do that. Maybe it doesn't have to be crazy. Let's go ride a gondola in Venice. Or maybe we can just tone it down and go look at some baby things. We'll have to do that eventually, anyway."
She was restless. It was a strange feeling for her, honestly. At least, it was strange lately. "I just want to do something with you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 13, 2009 22:28:28 GMT -5
"Bungee jumping?" Roland repeated. "Yeah... I think I'm going to have to say no to that... It reminds me a little too much of how I got this." He touched his finger to the scar above his lip.
He laughed and kissed her again. "I like the idea of skipping town... although if we're going to be gone more than a day, we should either make sure we can bring Phoenix, or see if we can get someone to watch him. I bet Arthur wouldn't mind doing it for us."
He thought for a minute, remembering a story she had once told him about her childhood home. "Maybe you could show me Portugal. And we could just go swimming at the end of the world." He winked, reminding her of the description she had given him of the beach town where she grew up.
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 14, 2009 0:32:09 GMT -5
Riley laughed and kissed the scar above his lip. "That's true. Point taken."
And then he asked about her hometown, and she frowned. She swore to herself that she was never going to go back there. But now, Brian was in London, and she had no proof that her mother and stepfather hadn't left. And the little seaside town was beautiful.
Finally, she nodded. "Okay. We can go there." She gave him a look, silently letting him know that this was a huge thing she was doing for him... Or at least a sign of how deeply she felt for him. "Let's get dressed and go talk to Arthur."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 14, 2009 13:26:56 GMT -5
He saw the frown and worried for a moment that the idea had upset her. He was not at all proposing that we go back and see her family. In fact, having met Brian, he was less interested in meeting her family than he ever had been before. While it was true that his family was very much a part of himself, the same was not true of Riley, and he understood that.
But then she nodded, and he knew the meaning of the look she gave him. He kissed her softly, then said in a gentle tone, "We don't have to stay long, and we definitely don't have to visit anyone while we're there. I just want to see the beach, and maybe go for a swim. Then if you want to leave or go somewhere else, we can."
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