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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 29, 2009 22:45:36 GMT -5
Roland had gone to visit Christine, and Riley felt a little out of place. She was glad that he was visiting Christine. Merlin knew the girl needed it. She had not responded well to Roland's death at all, and Riley couldn't blame her. She understood, even if she'd known the whole time that Roland had been alive.
So, feeling restless, she went into the kitchen and started to clean out the cabinets. A lot had to be thrown away since she hadn't spent much time in her apartment in the last couple of months, but she still had enough to make a good dinner, though she made a quick trip to the store to pick up some vegetables.
While she was in the kitchen, Phoenix came and laid down at the edge of the tile, his tail occassionally wagging, and Riley would throw him a piece of carrot or potato. He ate all of it.
She didn't want Roland to think she was dependent on him... but maybe she was. When he was gone, things started to break down in her mind, and she didn't always know what was real or not. Sometimes she would be hit with a feeling like she was in a nightmare, and she wouldn't be able to tell what was real or not, even given all the clues that Roland was alive. Truthfully, it was starting to scare her, and it was starting to happen more and more often. For a girl who always relied on logic, she was leaning more and more on faith that Roland would come back. The last couple of months, living in two worlds, had really messed her up.
She wouldn't tell him any of this, though. But when he was gone, she told Phoenix.
A while later, she had a stirfry over rice and mashed potatoes on the side, and she divided it to two plates, setting the little two person table she had in her dining room. When (if?) Roland came home, she had dinner prepared. She was pouring them each a glass of wine when she heard Phoenix get up and bark playfully at the door.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 29, 2009 23:02:55 GMT -5
Roland didn't feel as if his visit with Christine had gone very well at all. The longer he was back, and the more people he talked to, the guiltier he felt. His false death and the two months following had done quite a number on a lot of the people he cared about, and it was slowly building up in the back of his mind. He kept assuring himself that he had done the right thing in protecting his family, but he was starting to wish he'd had time to come up with another way. He'd done something desperate and drastic, and it had far-ranging effects that he'd never considered.
He was tired and emotionally drained as he came back to Riley's apartment--no, his and Riley's apartment. He heard the puppy barking at the door just a second before he opened it.
Standing in the doorway, he smiled softly at her. Merlin, it was good to see her. He'd only been gone a few hours, but it felt like ages. "You're a sight for sore eyes," he said.
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 29, 2009 23:19:31 GMT -5
Riley smiled when he came in. Under the fact that she was always happy to see him was a quiet relief that yes, he was really here. "I thought you'd be gone longer. I was going to get dressed up for you."
She went to him and kissed him. "You can tell me how it went over dinner. Are you hungry?" Dinner wasn't really something she felt they could share. She still wasn't eating like she should, though she made more of an effort. Roland wasn't much of an eater either, but he'd always finished what she gave him.
Merlin, she could get used to this. It was all so much more domestic than she ever wanted for herself, but it was perfect.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 29, 2009 23:48:03 GMT -5
"Mmmm, you don't have to get dressed up for me," he said, smiling. "You look beautiful already."
He held her a little longer, taking comfort in her warmth. He wasn't really hungry, if he was honest with himself, but he loved that she had cooked dinner for him. It felt so domestic, so normal. Like his parents.
"It smells great," he said, stealing one more kiss from her before bending down to pet the dog, whose tail was wagging so hard, Roland wondered if it would leave a dent.
"Things... didn't go well," he replied as he moved over to the couch. He ran a hand over his face tiredly. "Even though she doesn't know the truth, she's still angry with me. Seems I can't do right with the Montgomerys at all."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 30, 2009 0:21:51 GMT -5
Riley frowned, watching as he sat on the couch. "I'm sorry," she said, feeling bad that Christine had not reacted well. age sort of expected it, of course, but she hoped for better.
She left the plates at the table, but brought the wine over and say next to him. Handing him the glass, she took a sip of her own.
"She took your death really hard. And Geoff should be angry at me, not you. But you know how it goes."
She shrugged. "I'm glad you're home. I missed you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 30, 2009 0:33:59 GMT -5
Roland took the glass from her with a soft smile. She knew what he needed, and was right there for him when he needed her. There was something symbiotic about it all, they easily did things for each other without ever having to be asked.
Sipping from the glass, he watched her as she spoke. Merlin, he was lucky to have her. He felt like so many people were angry with him right now, and the ones that weren't, should have been. But she was still here. He didn't know what he'd ever do if she turned him away.
"Geoffrey has never really liked me very much. It's too bad, because I've always liked him. And Christine... well, after I had that talk with her at Christmas, I should have realized what my dying would do to her. She has a right to be angry with me. It's just... you know how I hate apologizing and admitting when I'm wrong."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 30, 2009 11:38:19 GMT -5
Riley nodded. She knew how much he hated being wrong. She didn't think he minded apologizing so much... it was just that he had to admit that he was wrong when he apologized, and that's what she knew he hated. "But consider it character building. Christine will come around anyway. She adores you."
She took another sip of her wine and shrugged. "It's not that Geoff doesn't like you. I think he's just... jealous of you. Everyone looks at you like a hero, women, especially in your family, adore you, and it's like you never get in trouble for anything. I think he idolizes you and it's just... frustrating for him. Does that make sense?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 30, 2009 16:33:42 GMT -5
Roland let out a breath. It was strange how he went out of his way to protect everyone, but he didn't really want them to think of him as a hero. And yet, when he thought about it, he was always trying to act like one, so he shouldn't have been so surprised that he was seen that way.
"Do you think maybe I should lighten up?" he asked her honestly, shifting in his seat so that he was facing her. "Stop trying so hard to protect every one and let them live their own lives? Jamie said something like that to me just after the Hogsmeade attack."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 30, 2009 17:14:59 GMT -5
Riley raised an eyebrow, almost amused by his question. But she would never laugh or smile at him for it, knowing how seriously he asked it. Still, he waited until he faked his death to bring this up? Typical. Roland was all about extremes, after all.
"I do think you could stand to not be so serious about everything. You're really very handsome when you smile," she told him. "But I also think it's admirable that you want so badly to protect everyone. And I think there's a difference between protecting them and trying to tell them how to live their lives. Besides... Jamie could probably stand to lighten up as well."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 30, 2009 23:25:53 GMT -5
Roland smiled and inched closer to her on the sofa. "I love you," he said simply. He leaned in for a quick kiss.
He'd almost expected her to tell him that, yes, he should lighten up. He could be intense sometimes, and when it came to protecting his family, he was almost obsessive about it. But she understood how important it was to him and didn't try to talk him out of it.
"You know, ever since Jamie was a baby, I've felt like it was my job to protect him and Cyrus and Ama... and somehow it grew into everyone. It's just... it's a part of me. I want the best for everyone I love. The trouble is, I was always trying so hard to protect them, that I sometimes got overbearing... I never really managed to form a close relationship with Jamie, because I was always just trying to be the big brother. I guess I did the same thing to Geoffrey without realizing it. Do you think there's anything I can do to fix things with him? I feel like he hates me more than ever now, and I'm not sure if it's because of my... dying... or if it's because of you."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 31, 2009 1:46:42 GMT -5
Riley simply smiled after their lips parted, and replied with a soft "I love you, too."
Her head tilted as she sipped her wine and listened to him, and she couldn't help but think about just how much she had come to fall in love with him. They really had come quite a long way from that day they were assigned as partners to now.
Her easy smile dropped from her lips however, and she creased her brow. "Because of me?" she asked, really naive when it came to matters of the heart. "Why would he hate you- which he doesn't- because of me?" Hadn;t Geoffrey tried to push her towards Roland anyway?
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 8:48:19 GMT -5
Too late, Roland realized that he shouldn't have said that. Riley was blissfully unaware of how Geoffrey felt about her, and in fact, he was pretty sure Geoffrey didn't fully realize it either. But just as Geoffrey had once figured out how Roland felt about Riley, Roland could read the same thing in his cousin. Some of the things he'd said to him, and the way he'd said them, proved to Roland that Geoff was jealous of his relationship with Riley. He might not even really want to be with her in that way, but he still loved her, and it was painfully obvious to Roland.
"I don't know," Roland said, trying to act casual. "I just somehow get the feeling that he doesn't think I'm good enough for you. He's your best friend, he just wants the best for you. I think that he doesn't think that's me."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 31, 2009 11:29:18 GMT -5
Riley considered this but shook her head. "No, I don't think that's it at all, Roland. He knows you make me happy, and I think that's enough for him."
She thought back to the day in the hospital, when Geoffrey told her that very thing, and then again at Christmas when Geoffrey tried to tell her how Roland felt about her. She wouldn't have any of it, then, but why would he insist on trying to make her see it if he didn't think Roland was what was best for her?
"Geoff, as sweet as he is, has no problem telling me when he thinks I'm doing something that's not good for me. He'd tell me if he thought that about you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 12:09:26 GMT -5
Roland relaxed a little at this. He was quite aware that, if his relationship with Riley was going to last, he would have to find a way to get along with her best friend. If Geoffrey didn't approve of their relationship, that would not bode well for them. Still, Roland worried that Geoffrey might eventually realize the depth of his feelings for Riley. What would that mean for him?
"So, you talked to him more than I did, how is he doing, really? Do you think he's going to be OK? It's still a little shocking to me that he's still in the hospital."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 31, 2009 12:28:26 GMT -5
"He's... I mean, he's going to be all right." Her eyes dropped from Roland's and stared into her wine glass.
It wasn't shocking to her at all that he was still in the hospital. In fast, she understood completely, better than she would ever let on to Roland about. Those dreams, and the confusion of reality, and the guilt about what he had almost done... she understood all of it, and had Roland not depended on her, she would have curled up and forgotten the world, too. She wanted to so many times. When she was out here and unsure if Roland was alive or dead, when she would wake up from the dreams where they were together, and she'd be alone... it was more than she could handle.
And it was her fault that Geoffrey was going through something similar. She also knew that from her own experience, that even now, she wasn't entirely sure what was real or not, that Geoffrey wasn't magically better because he saw her again. It was going to take time, for both of them, but at least she could be there for him now, and they could get better together.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 15:16:59 GMT -5
Roland sighed softly, then leaned his head against her shoulder. "Being back home... it's not exactly what I expected," he confessed to her. "I never realized just how back things were out here... I feel like I missed a lot."
It was strange; he had gone away on longer trips than this before, but at least then, he'd had some contact with his family at least. But for two months, Riley had been his only connection with the outside world, and now that he was back out in it, he felt strangely out of place. It scared him just a little bit, but he would never admit that to her.
"I have to make it up to a lot of people, don't I?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 1, 2009 11:51:33 GMT -5
Riley took a moment to consider just how everyone who knew Roland had reacted to his death. People who didn't even know him had been affected in some way, like Kit. It was so much bigger than even she had anticipated, and she at least knew this would be hard on everyone.
"Yeah, you do. I ought to make you a list of everyone that came to your funeral, too," she murmured, though she was sort of teasing. "But things will settle down and everything will be back to normal. In the meantime, I'm here, and you don't have to make anything up to me."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 1, 2009 17:32:37 GMT -5
Oh, but she was the one he had the most to make up to. Although she had done it all willingly, knowing the risks and the possible negative effects, the whole thing had been hard on her. She had been pushed to her limits, and she had done it all for no other reason than because she loved him. He'd got her pregnant, and nearly got her killed several times over, and somehow, she was still here, and she still loved him. What he had done to deserve that, he would never know, but he had every intention of making sure he made up for it every day for the rest of their lives.
He looked up at her, his green eyes taking on that sleepy, seductive gaze. "You're amazing, do you know that?" he said softly. His hand went up to thread in her hair, while his lips descended on hers in a deep, passionate kiss.
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 2, 2009 1:13:34 GMT -5
Riley's features softened when he looked at her like that. She knew that look well by now and knew where it always lead them. But it still gave her butterflies in her stomach. Somehow, she knew, that he would give her chills for the rest of her life just looking at her with those eyes. It was amazing, and the first time she'd ever felt wanted.
She readily kissed him back, one of her hands coming to rest at the base of his neck while the other held her wine glass from spilling. When the kiss broke, she stayed near him, not pulling away, and her eyes remained closed for a moment. "No dinner then?" she teased.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 2, 2009 1:34:22 GMT -5
He smiled and carefully slipped the glass of wine from her hands, reaching around and placing it on the table behind him, where he had already set his own glass. "I'm not hungry," he said softly. "Well.... not for food...."
If her eyes were open, she would have seen him wink. A moment later, his hands were in her hair, and his lips were tracing a trail along the edge of her jawline.
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