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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 29, 2009 22:00:29 GMT -5
Now that Roland had been back for a few days, some of the fuss had finally started to die down. This was a relief for Roland, who really felt embarrassed by all the attention. He had expected it, of course, but that still didn't make it any easier.
But as things slowly started to return to normal, Roland noticed one person he had not yet seen. For some reason, Hayden was nowhere to be found. He had not had a chance to speak to his cousin and best friend since the fight with Blake, and it left him feeling just a little out of sorts.
Finally, he decided to pay him a visit at his apartment. He reluctantly left Riley for a while as he went to the Black Cat apartments and knocked on Hayden's door.
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Jul 30, 2009 7:45:59 GMT -5
After his talk with Nathalia, Hayden considered going to go see Roland today. It felt odd not speaking to or seeing him since he returned. He just couldn't bring himself to visit him. The reason was never exactly clear.
For once, Hayden fell asleep on his bed. He slept soundlessly but then again that could have been because of the alcohol he drank the night before. Whatever it was, he was glad to have a decent rest.
The knock on his door came right after he finished pulling on a clean shirt from the laundry. Hayden wasn't sure who it could be but nevertheless he went to the door. His hand turned the doorknob and opened the door. The sight of Roland made Hayden freeze for a moment. He wasn't sure what to even say to him. Clearing his throat, Hayden put on a smile. "Hey Roland, come on in."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 11:56:29 GMT -5
The familiar crooked grin was on his face as Roland looked at Hayden. He wasn't quite sure what kind of greeting he had expected from Hayden, but the moment of uncertainty took him by surprise. Although Hayden had always been even more reserved with his outward displays of emotions than Roland had been, their friendship had always been open and honest. But right now, he felt oddly closed off from his best friend.
"Hey," he returned quietly. "It's good to see you." He stepped into the apartment and stood awkwardly by the door.
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 12:16:06 GMT -5
"It's good to see you too," he replied closing the door behind Roland. Running his hands over the top of his muggle jeans, Hayden looked to Roland. "You can come in more than that. I'm not going chase you out." He let a joking tone slip into his voice and walked toward the living room area.
"The only things I can offer you to drink are beer and water. If you want something I can get it for you. Just make yourself at home." He was trying not to make things awkward. "Things have been going okay I suppose?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 17:20:41 GMT -5
Roland shook his head at the offer of a drink. "No thanks, I'm good," he said. "I was hoping we could talk."
He moved over to the sofa, but didn't sit down, preferring to wait until Hayden was seated first. As he stood there, he took a quick look around, realizing that it had really been a while since he'd been to Hayden's apartment. He probably hadn't even been here since shortly after Hayden had moved in. His apartment wasn't very different from Roland's, in that it was very clean and sparsely decorated.
"How come you haven't been to see me?" he asked at last, getting to the biggest issue on his mind.
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 17:50:23 GMT -5
Talk. Of course that was the reason Roland had come over. Hayden nodded and took a seat on the couch. His apartment was always clean, mainly because he wasn't there all the time. He didn't care too much for decoration. There were a few pictures of his family about but that was about it.
His question made Hayden sink down into the couch a little more. He knew that question was going to come up and he wasn't sure how to answer it. There was no way he could lie to Roland. "I don't know," he answered honestly, "I just guess that I was scared that you were just going to disappear again." Hayden grew quite for a moment. "I really was going to visit you, I just haven't been able to bring myself to go just yet." Maybe Nat had been right. Maybe it was just he had to come to him.
"I'm sorry. It's just been confusing. I didn't know what to do or what to even say to you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 31, 2009 22:15:57 GMT -5
Roland sighed. It seemed like he was hearing that a lot, and it disturbed him. It was almost as if it was easier for people to believe he was dead than it was to believe he was alive. He realized that the last few months had done a number on them, but it was a bit unnerving to have everyone doubting your existence.
"Hayden, look at me," he said, his tone firm. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Aug 1, 2009 7:38:26 GMT -5
Hayden looked over to him. "I know you're not going anywhere. I just, well, you don't here about people coming back after they had supposedly been dead. Now it seems like everything has just been a dream, a really messed up dream." He shook his head.
"I'm just glad to see you back. It's been kinda lonely." Hayden cracked a smile. "And you've probably heard this a million times already, but congratulations to you and Riley." He relaxed a little more. "Speaking of Riley, how is she?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 1, 2009 8:16:00 GMT -5
Somehow, seeing Hayden's reactions to his death and return brought it home to him more than ever just how much he had hurt everyone with what he had done. Hayden, the practical one, the one with whom he had discussed the idea of sacrificing themselves to fight for the cause, Roland had thought of anyone in the family he would understand. That he would be able to look at it objectively and realize that Roland had done what he believed in. But Roland was finally starting to understand that all the noble ideals and honorable reasons meant nothing when you lost someone that you loved.
"It's good to be back," he said simply. "And I missed you, too."
But then Hayden turned the subject back onto Riley, and Roland broke into a full-fledged smile. "Riley's great. She's amazing, and you're going to regret bringing her up, because I could seriously talk about her all day."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Aug 1, 2009 11:06:52 GMT -5
"Nah, I'm not going to regret it," he said shaking his head. "It's good to see you smiling since it used to be a rarity." Hayden gave a laugh. "You know, I could crack jokes about how you've turned into a sap but I want to keep my head." He glanced to Roland teasingly. The awkward feeling from earlier had disappeared when the topic changed. It pretty much felt like old times.
"I'm glad that both of you are doing good." The clouds had moved and the sun was shining now that everything was going back to whatever kind of normalcy the Ferreras' had. "Excited about being a father?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 1, 2009 18:01:05 GMT -5
Roland laughed heartily, which was another thing that used to be a rarity for him. "Yeah, can you believe it? I actually admit... she's turned me into a romantic fool. Everything I always said I could never be. And I don't even mind it. She makes me happy, Hayden. For the first time ever, I'm genuinely happy."
At the mention of his impending fatherhood, he grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. "To tell you the truth, I'm terrified," he confessed. "I know it'll be OK, but... it's happening so fast. I feel like I should start reading lots of parenting books and stuff. We have so many things to do to get ready..."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Aug 1, 2009 18:14:36 GMT -5
"Well, I happy then," he said grinning. "I like seeing you this way actually. Riley has been the best thing for you, and your child will be too."
Hayden was glad that Roland had Riley. It was good seeing him smiling and laughing. "I don't think you're going to need any parenting books. You're going to be a great father without even reading them. And you know, if you need me to help you with anything all you have to do is ask. I'm always either here or at the office, it's not that hard to find me."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 2, 2009 21:30:17 GMT -5
Roland smiled. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, mate, but I'm still nervous. Riley's even more nervous than I am, and I have to be strong for her, to convince her we can do this. The timing really kind of sucks, but I really am happy about it. I just... I can't believe that after all the times I yelled at Cyrus for not being more careful, I went and did the same thing."
He sighed softly and gave Hayden an appraising look. "So... about what happened. Onviously, you know that the story being put out in the papers isn't true. You're not mad at me for what I did, are you?"
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Aug 2, 2009 21:41:56 GMT -5
"Well, you couldn't help it, neither could he. At least you have girls that love you back just as much as you love them. That's the main thing."
Roland's next string of words made Hayden sigh. "I can't be mad at you," he started. "That would be hypocritical for me to be. We said before that we would do whatever we had to to protect our family. You did what you thought you had to in order to protect them. To be honest, I wish you would have at least told me what was going on but I can understand what you did. You thought it was best." Hayden was trying to be practical about the situation as usual. "And what is important out of everything is that you're back, there is not a direct threat on the family, and you finally got Riley, not to mention you're happy." He smiled softly. "So, how could I be mad about that?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 3, 2009 0:12:18 GMT -5
Roland sighed. "I thought about telling you. To be honest.... there just wasn't time. I told Riley because she was my partner and because she already knew about Blake and the letters I was getting. But I really wish I hadn't involved her. I nearly lost her, Hayden, and it would have killed me if I did. I can't imagine losing anyone in this family, and not that I think about it, I can't believe I was so willing to put everyone through that kind of emotional pain. It went on a lot longer than I was expecting, and it caused far more damage than I ever realized."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Aug 3, 2009 7:24:03 GMT -5
"Soon, everything will be forgiven I think. You did what you had to in order to kill Blake. Just think of how much worse it would have been if they knew you were actually alive. The entire family would have been in danger. Even if we are a bunch of aurors, there is only so much we can do. I would rather deal with the fact that you faked your death and came back rather than actually losing someone."
Even though he probably should be a little upset with Roland, Hayden couldn't have been. Like he said before it would have been hypocritical of him to have been upset or mad because Roland did what he thought was best in protecting the family.
"Everything is going to be alright now. You know that right? If you have any problems, you know I stand behind you on this."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 3, 2009 14:33:27 GMT -5
Roland smiled. "I knew you, of all people, would understand. Blake... he had me pinned into a corner, and he was getting ready to start going after the rest of the family, just to get to me. And I wish I could have found another way to handle it, some other way to stop him, but I had to act fast. He was having too much fun messing with me, so I had to mess with him right back."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He should have told Hayden what was going on from the beginning, he could see that now. Whether he would have been able to keep the secret from the rest of the family while they were grieving somehow no longer seemed to matter. He had been in trouble and he should have turned to his family. Involving Riley... well, it had probably helped them to get together, but it had also put her in great danger. He couldn't bring himself to completely regret involving her, because of all those long, beautiful nights they had spent together. Yet at the same time, he hated the pain and the danger he had exposed her to. If he had included more people in the plan, then at least she would have had more people to lean on.
"So, enough about me," he said at last. "What's going on with you?"
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Aug 3, 2009 14:53:27 GMT -5
"Oh, speaking of Blake, at your funeral, I thought that Mathieu was going to go after him for a moment. Although, I knew he didn't want to cause a huge scene." Hayden gave a shake of his head. Blake was hated throughout the family. While Hayden wasn't saddened by Blake's death, he was saddened by the state that Emelia was probably in.
"You should know better than to answer that question," Hayden said jokingly. "It's still the same answer as it's always been. Nothing has changed." He gave a shrug. "I slept in my bed for the first time in a while last night. I usually just take the couch. Oh, and I found out that I can cook eggs and make pancakes." Hayden laughed. "But other than that, nothing has changed."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Aug 3, 2009 17:56:36 GMT -5
Roland's brow creased. "He was at my funeral? Riley didn't tell me that. That son of a banshee... What was he trying to prove?"
He let out a tired sigh. The truth was, Riley hadn't told him anything about his "funeral." And he kind of preferred it that way. It was sort of creepy, when he thought about it. How many people got to hear about their own funeral, anyway? But he really didn't want to know about what had been said there. They had spoken in grief and pain, thinking that somehow he could hear them, and yet, knowing that he could not. It wasn't about him; it was for them.
"You're even more like me than I thought," Roland said, gladly changing the subject to lighter topics. "Sleeping on the couch, barely able to cook... I actually learned how to make scrambled eggs and pasta while I was... er... away. But most of the time, I survived using this pot that Riley gave me for Christmas--it makes whatever you want just by tapping the lid with your wand and saying what you want."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Aug 3, 2009 19:00:34 GMT -5
"Cheater," Hayden said jokingly. "I figure that if I don't start cooking for myself then mum will complain more than likely that I'm too thin." He rolled his eyes. "So, I've been living off of toast, eggs, pancakes, sandwiches, and sometimes take out, but that is just between us." Hayden didn't want to hear his mother fussing over anything. "If I get too bored I attempt to experiment with a few things. Hopefully nothing will go too wrong." He gave a laugh.
"As for sleeping on the couch, I usually fall asleep with the television on or I'm just too tired to get up and make it to the bed."
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