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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 13, 2009 3:47:13 GMT -5
Things had been different after the ball. She and Jamie had reached a new level in their relationship. The next day, he'd been gone from school, and it seemed like she hadn't talked to him since. She'd get little words out of him here and there when she passed him in the halls, but for the most part, it was like he was avoiding her.
For a while, she thought it was her. That now that they had slept together, things were weird, and he was pushing her away, keeping her out. It ate at her.
She slowly realized, however, that it was because of his brother's death, and she wanted to be there for him. Jamie just kept pushing her away. So today, she was going to corner him. She was pacing the halls of the fourth floor, knowing his class would let out soon, and then she'd force him to talk to her.
After a few moments, the library doors opened and students started to pour out. She caught sight of him and took a deep breath. "Jamie," she called out, coming up next to him.
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 13, 2009 14:48:35 GMT -5
Jamie had finally finished with class in the library. Orinaginally, he was going to get a few books for some unrequired reading directly after class, but something had forced him to leave right after he was excused. He wanted to head out to the owl tower and look at the grounds while attempting to focus on his homework. No one could bother him there.
Scarlette had called to him, and Jamie took in a deep breathe. He was all wrong for her. She was pretty and outgoing and nice. He was too quiet for her. She deserved someone more fitting, someone more like her.
Roland had liked her. Jamie shook the thought out of his mind. Most of the things Roland had liked were now things Jamie seemed to start to look at with some sort of dislike or with a feeling of undeserving. And Scarlette had fit in the second category.
Jamie could barely look at her as he nodded his head in greeting. He was shifting uncomfortabley from foot to foot, not sure whther to stop or not.
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 8:48:00 GMT -5
Scarlette's frown deepened. He had acknowledged her, and now he was still walking away, though slower, as if he were considering to stop. But she was enough on her own to make him stop.
"Jamie, please," she said, catching up to him. The two words sounded almost desperate, but she caught herself, and the rest of her words were under control.
She understood that he was going through a lot right now, that his whole family was, and that maybe after New Years, he just decided they weren't right for each other. But she was going through something pretty big right now, too, and he had to at least be made aware.
"Can we just talk, Jamie?"
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 16:42:52 GMT -5
When she said Jamie's name the first time, he managed to stop. He was being a jerk, and he knew it. He was avoiding her for the same reasons as everyone else, but Scarlette was in a very different case from everyone else. Jamie looked down at his shoes, letting her continue the sentence.
His eyes shifted around the hallway, where a few stray students were wandering around the hallway. He stepped closer to the wall, as to not black the path. He was almost terrified of being alone with her, getting yelled at. It was petty, although completely deserved. Jamie wouldn't be able to stand if Scarlette was upset with him.
Jamie stood quietly, still looking at his shoes. He wasn't sure what to say, what to do.
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 16:58:02 GMT -5
Scarlette sighed. He wasn't giving her anything, and she wasn't sure how to handle it.
"Look, Jamie, I know you've been having a rough time of it, with what happened to your brother and everything, and I'm really sorry about that. And I know I didn't do anything to anger you... at least I hope I didn't. I can't think of anything, but... I miss you, Jamie. I wish you would talk to me."
She bit her lip. There was more she wanted, no, needed to say, but she didn't know how right now. So being the Gryffindor she was, she stepped closer to him and took his face in her hands and kissed him. It was short, in case he would pull away, but it made her point.
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 17:18:46 GMT -5
With the simple kiss, Jamie suddenly felt a lot more. Everything he had been trying to contain made its way through his mind, waking him up from the apathetic state he had been in.
"I'm a terrible person," Jamie mumbled. "Of course you haven't done everything wrong. You've been one of the best things that's happened to me. I-" he paused, he couldn't think fo the right words. "I've been ignorant of everyone lately. Amandine should hate me, Sheena might too, if Ama told her. I've avoided anyone who might have anything to do with the Ferrera family. That included you. I'm so sorry, I can't apologize enough."
He slid down the wall to sit on the ground, knees to his chest. He buried his head into his hands, trying to stop himself from shedding any tears. He was so disappointed in himself. Amandine had tried to tell him the same thing as Scarlette had, it was incredibley selfish to let everyone else try and solve everything for themselves. Didn't he try and be there for his mother? Shouldn't he try and be there for everyone? Cyrus had his own family to take care of, and the parents weren't at Hogwarts. It should have been his responsibility as the eldest in hoswarts tp have been comforting Ama and Sheena, and checked up on Liam as well.
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 17:30:53 GMT -5
Scarlette let out a breath she'd been holding. If Jamie hadn't responded to her that time, she would have given up. She hated giving up on anything, but how was she supposed to break through to him when he wouldn't even look at her?
But now he was, and he was talking, and she felt such a flood or relief. She followed him to the floor, sitting against the wall next to him. "Don't apologize, Jamie. I'm not angry at you for anything. I don't even know if I could have handled it any better. I just miss you, Jamie." She didn't care if she sounded needy saying it. "I want to be there for you, but I don't know how. And I just decided that i couldn't let you keep pushing me away anymore."
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 17:44:34 GMT -5
Jamie a few tears slide into his hands at this point, and tried to stop himself from shaking slightly. His brother was dead, after only a few weeks of friendship between the two. If Jamie hadn't been so close- minded, than maybe they could have been even more of friends than they were. With Roland's death, Jamie managed to prove to himself that he wasn't as tough as he thought himself to be.
Jamie looked at her, not sure why she hadn't given up. His own sister had. She wasn't even mad, and that might have shocked Jamie the most. He felt so relieved, like all the tension in his chest was gone. He breathed out slowly, and said very softly. "I'm glad, because I love you."
It was true, and even though he had only known her for such a short time, Jamie knew he wasn't lying. If his best friends couldn't get through to him, and Scarlette could, than she was a lot more important to him than he previously thought.
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 17:50:56 GMT -5
Scarlette lost her breath at those words. "Jamie, don't say that."
It wasn't that she didn't want to hear it. In fact, she was pretty certain that she loved him, too. She felt safe with Jamie, and it tore at her when he avoided her. No matter how many times she assured herself that she had done nothing wrong, she wanted to do whatever she could to get Jamie to talk to her again, to right any wrong she may have done.
But she had news to share with him, news that she had to share with him, and she had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that he'd never speak to her again at all when she told him.
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 17:57:20 GMT -5
"Oh," Jamie suddenly looked down.
He hadn't a clue why else she wouldn't want him to say that. Jamie had remembered how uncertain he had been before the Yule Ball, and how she hadn't been happy with the words 'I think'. Jamie was feeling surer and surer with every second he thought about it, and he was torn apart when Scarlette didn't want to hear it.
Jamie managed to look Scarlette in the eyes again, "I understand if you don't want to talk to me again. But I love you, Scarlette Meyers."
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 18:00:42 GMT -5
Scarlette sighed, her eyes on her hands, which were in her lap, and she felt sick to her stomach. Who knew if Jamie was the cause of that, or...
She swallowed, her next words feeling thick and heavy in her throat. She hated to have to do this to him now, especially when he already had so much to think about, and his brother being killed... she felt like a terrible person for having to break this news to him, but he needed to know.
She wanted to just be able to say, I love you too, Jamie Ferrera... but she couldn't admit that with the fear that he would turn away from her.
"Jamie, I'm pregnant."
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 18:11:50 GMT -5
The word echoed through his ears. Pregnant. Jamie certainly didn't expect that as an outcome. He closed his eyes, leaning against the the wall behind him. his mother was going to personally kill him, while Amandine and Cyrus watched.
Scarlette was sitting right next to him, and Jamie was being childish again, selfish. He was thinking about himself. Scarlette had to be going through something ten times worse than what he was feeling. She had gone through so much without him. Scarlette had to find out, and around a month or two without someone who should have been supporting her every move.
Jamie managed to get on his knees to pull her into a hug. "How are you feeling?" His mind strayed. In between the two of them was a baby. A real baby. It couldn't get through his mind.
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 18:28:04 GMT -5
When his eyes closed and his head hit the wall, Scarlette's heart sank. She didn't know what to do now that she was certain he was turning her away. She wanted to cry because she didn't know who else to turn to. Her parents were going to kill her for this, and she wasn't even out of school yet. She did the math in her head, and she would start showing before school even let out. How was she-
And then she was wrapped up in his arms, and he was asking how she was. She couldn't help but to throw her arms around him and just hold onto him tight. "I'm okay," she told him, amazed that she hadn't started crying yet. She'd been crying a lot lately. "I get sick sometimes in the mornings, but I guess that's normal."
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 18:41:14 GMT -5
Jamie had almost fogotten that they were sitting in the hallway, in view of everyone who walked by. It didn't matter, because something a lot more important then being seen by classmates was happening. "Tell me about it. All of it. I want to know every last detail while I was off being a prat by myself. I'm so sorry that I was gone..." Jamie was completely sincere. He felt like he had missed so much.
The two of them were seventeen. This wasn't going to end well. "Have you told anyone yet? Because in all honesty, I really have no idea what I'm doing." Jamie pulled back to look her in the eyes. He gave her a small smile, despite the nagging feeling in the back of his mind.
His family was going to hate him even more. That made Jamie feel awful, but what was worse was they would have to forgive him. He was still a Ferrera. Scarlette, on the other hand... Lina had gone through so much, and Cara still hadn't forgiven her. Marriage was the only thing that seemed to pacify his mother. Jamie wanted to think, to talk it out. That was going to be hard.
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 18:48:42 GMT -5
Scarlette couldn't have told Jamie how relieved she was if she tried. She just held onto him until he pulled away, and then she took a deep breath.
"I will. I'll tell you everything. I just... I'm so sorry, Jamie. I didn't want to tell you like this. I know things have been hard for you, and I don't blame you for pushing everyone away. I would have too, and I tried really hard not to push you. I was so worried you'd just ignore me after I told you, and I was scared. I still am scared. I don't know what I'm doing either."
She paused here and gave him a smile. She had a family to break it to as well, and she didn't know if they would be angry, or what. Maybe they wouldn't, but it was better now, knowing that Jamie wasn't leaving her.
"Jamie? I love you, too."
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 19:06:52 GMT -5
"Why would you apologize, silly?" Jamie teased softly. "You're the one carrying around Jamie Junior, aren't you?" He managed another small smile. But he went back to being serious, "I am really sorry that you were forced to go through the whole ordeal alone. You have nothing to worry about it. I'm right behind you the entire way. You make the desicions, lietenant."
Jamie wanted her to tell him that they would be fine, but he was going to need to grow up. Jamie was going to have a family, like Cyrus did. He had to find out how Cyrus did it, although Jamie doubted he would tell him directly. Maybe just seem curious?
After Scarlette told Jamie she loved him, Jamie pulled her in to kiss her temple. Maybe they would be alright. They were strong. He pulled away and gave her a big smile. "I feel a lot better already."
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 19:13:59 GMT -5
Scarlette smiled in return, but it was still appearant that she was scared. How could she not be? She was 17, pregnant, and afraid that she had lost her boyfriend forever. But Jamie's gentle assurances and his arms around her made her feel like they could do anything together.
"Okay," she said. "I'm keeping the baby... I mean, I don't know what girls do or anything, but I won't give it up for adoption. I want to keep it when it's born. And I'm really, really glad that you're still talking to me. I was really scared that you were going to pull away again. And I know we're young, but Lina and your brother are managing... Lina had to have been my age when she was pregnant. So we can do this, right?"
It didn't dawn on her that he might need her to say that it was going to be okay as much as she needed him to say it. They were definitely going to rely on each other a lot for this, and she wouldn't have had it any other way. "I really missed you."
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 21, 2009 19:33:37 GMT -5
"I don't think I could live with myself if I had dumped all of this on you," Jamie said truthfully. "My conscience wouldn't have let me live another day. But maybe this'll be good, we can make this baby happy. I mean, it's got to be pretty, between you and I." He smiled shakily. "Of course. we can do this. I'll make you the happest girl in the world."
Jamie had started to plan in his head. They were going to need a place to live, and money for groceries and baby items. Jamie doubted they could rely on either of their parents. This was going to be difficult, but he didn't want to give up. He was going to make this baby happy, even if he went crazy doing so.
"You're never going to need to miss me again, I promise," He said firmly.
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Post by Scarlette Meyers on Jul 21, 2009 19:49:00 GMT -5
Scarlette chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I imagine our kid will be quite the looker. If it's a girl, you'll be beating boys off with a stick."
Her expression turned serious again. She was at the age where someone should be beating boys away from her... and now she was looking at having a child. It was accidental, to say the least, but she couldn't say that she regretted it. Part of her was even kind of excited.
"Can we go somewhere else, Jamie?" She asked, looking over his shoulder at the students in the hallway. "I have a class next hour, but I want to skip it if we can talk. I just feel like we have a lot to catch up on. But Jamie... I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you."
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on Jul 22, 2009 18:19:23 GMT -5
"Don't worry about beating them off," Jamie said, suddenly feeling very protective of the baby. "They'll be too afraid to even think about looking at her."
Jamie was starting to see the good points in having a kid. A girl, or boy, to teach and play with. Mara was such a sweet baby, and Scarlette was right, Lina had managed well. The two were going to be fine, Jamie tried to reassure himself. Scarlette was strong enough to handle it, and so was he.
Jamie looked at the other students as well. They didn't seem to be suspicious of everything they had just talked about, but he knew how teenagers act. He stood up, holding out his hand to Scarlette to help her up. Jamie was emensely relieved at her last statement, biting his lip nervously. "I'd love to skip class with you."
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