Damaged (Open)

[Samantha Montgomery]

Even though she had been seriously injured Samantha managed to turn things to her favor. Not once had she faltered or complained about her physical injuries. She came back from the whole event not unscathed but rather like a sword that had been through the fires of hell, remerged brilliant and that much stronger.

She refused pity and engaged others with more social aplomb than ever before giving an oscar-worthy performance every day.

Inwardly her mind raced, and her senses sharpened. There was simply too much going on and she was winding herself tighter and tighter with haunting images that wouldn't let go of her.

But tonight was no different, sitting in the hall eating dinner with her fellow Slytherins she calmly and elegantly engaged everyone around her in discussion until it was time to retire. After a few hours of fitfully not sleeping she crept downstairs into the common room wondering if anyone was still awake.

[Justine Torrance]

(I'm kind of enjoying Justine lately. She's been neglected too long.)

Justine rarely slept anymore. She wouldn't admit it, but she was having nightmares about the attack, and Jason's lifeless eyes, staring blankly into oblivion. It was starting to wear on her, the lack of sleep, and she'd been taking energy potions to keep her awake during the day. She should have asked Severus for a dreamless sleep potion, but she hadn't yet thought of it. Or maybe she didn't really want to sleep. Maybe she was trying to wear herself into the ground for some unexplained reason. She wasn't sure, but she imagined the counselor would have a few ideas.

Tonight she was sitting by the fire, reading a book of Poe. He was her favorite writer, and she had all of his stories memorized... yet she still enjoyed the experience of picking up her tattered, dog-eared copy of The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe and reading the stories. Her choice of story for tonight was the Masque of the Red Death.

At the sound of footsteps, Justine lowered her book and looked over at Samantha Montgomery. Yet another one of the Slytherin beauty queens, of which Justine was sure she would never quite be. But they did have something in common, something that most of the Slytherins seemed to have been spared. They had suffered in the Hogsmeade attack.

"Can't sleep, huh?" she said, feeling oddly brave. It must have been the lack of sleep.

[Samantha Montgomery]

Samantha shook her head no softly, "You either I take it?" she asked comming further into the room, she settled in a chair and pulled her feet beneath her. The cold from the chair seeped into her bones and she shivered, without thinking she pulled her wand out from no where discernable and reheated the flame in the fireplace.

One thing was certain however, Samantha was never without her wand these days even if it looked as if there were no where she could possibly have hid her wand, she'd pull it from somewhere, she wasn't taking any chances.

[Natasha Davenport]

Natasha was not in the mood for a party. Justine was one thing. She was quiet enough and Natasha could write her letter bearing the girl's presence, but she would not tolerate Samantha's arrival.

At the same time she hesitated to speak, it was not a string of conscience that told her both Samantha and Justine had been hurt in the attack while she escaped relatively unharmed, it was not also because Samantha and Justine simply appeared so bone weary. But rather, Natasha convinced herself, it was because she was almost through with her letter and she wouldn't allow either girl to disrupt her plans.

Contrary to that notion however her quill slowed and she began to listen to the girls speak.

[Samantha Montgomery]

Samantha took a moment to glance around and noticed they weren't alone, but that there were a few people awake this evening. Her gaze traveled down to her fingernails as a way of avoiding eye contact, she was tired, and not at her best, but the shadows hid the purplish hue under her eyes.

"It's been a long day." she confessed in the spirit of late night comraderie.

[Justine Torrance]

Justine had known about Natasha being there, but was unconcerned. After all, Natasha was busy, and Justine preferred to mind her own business.

But with Samantha, Justine felt an inexplicable connection, probably because of their experiences in the attack. It seemed that most Slytherins had somehow managed to avoid any involvement in the attack, which was suspicious to Justine. Most of the houses had lost a number of students, but Jason had been the only Slytherin fatality.

She sighed softly and ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah, I never sleep anymore," she replied. "I don't think I've slept more than a few hours all week. How about you?"

[Samantha Montgomery]

Sam smiled slightly then shrugged, "No more no less than usual." she assured Justine. While she was speaking the truth Justine didn't have to know that Sam usually had trouble sleeping. Instead it might have sounded as if she simply didn't want to confess to being as affected by the whole ordeal. She rather wished she wasn't, of course nobody really wanted nightmares or to be terrified of sleeping in the first place.

[Justine Torrance]

Justine eyed Sam quietly. On the surface, she was just the kind of girl Justine couldn't stand. She was impossibly beautiful, effortlessly put together... She seemed to know just who she was and what she was capable of. She walked into a room and all the boys' eyes went straight to her, even the ones that claimed not to like her. Justine wished there weren't quite so many of those types in Slytherin. It made it all the harder for the more ordinary-looking girls, like herself.

Yet there was now something lost about Sam. What they had all gone through... it bonded them. Justine knew for a fact that Sam had come much closer to dying than she had. Some people even said she actually had died for a few minutes. That thought tantalized Justine, who wanted to know what it was like.

"I heard... Um, maybe it's none of my business, and you can tell me to shove off if you want, but... is it true that you were actually dead for a few minutes? During the attack?"

[Samantha Montgomery]

Samantha stiffened. She didn't want to think about the attack, she didn't want to recall a moment of what had happened and yet Justine was not the first one to ask, she was simply the first one to be blunt about it. Others had tried to coax answers out of her, tried to understand what she had been through, but she despised the coyness of it all, and really it only served to annoy her further.

Unsure how she felt about Justine's blunt manner she answered in a wary tone, "Yes...for a small while, at least that is what I'm told."

[Justine Torrance]

The idea that Sam had basically been snatched out of the jaws of death and lived to tell the tale fascinated Justine in ways she couldn't begin to explain. She had often thought of death as a teasing entity that had come close to her but refused to take her. But hearing Sam's story made her think of what the counselor had said to her: that life had refused to relinquish its hold on her. That certainly seemed to be true for Sam.

"What was it like?" she asked. "Did you see anything... feel anything? Or was it just nothing?"

[Samantha Montgomery]

Sam expelled another breath, although it was increasingly hard to do so, she licked her dry lips and found something else to look at than Justine, " No, I simply felt...as if I had blacked out." she answered quickly. That wasn't the entire truth. No she had felt light, for the first time in her life, as if nothing could hurt her, she was beyond the touch of any mortal hand and she felt free. She knew death was coming, she accepted it, and she was willing to leave. But Nicolas' cries had pierced through the haze, and she had hesitated, she waited, wanting to console him, and yet still wanting to leave, but that hesitation had cost her the freedom death would have given her, and she was pulled back.

[Justine Torrance]

Justine would have been very interested indeed to hear the true story. Probably too interested, actually, so it was best that Sam didn't tell her. Instead, she was disappointed.

"So... you just felt nothing, then? Like you were going to sleep but without the dreams? Did you feel... peaceful, at least? I'm sorry if that sounds nosy. I just... well, I've always wondered... and it isn't often you get to ask someone who's been there."

[Samantha Montgomery]

Samantha was uncomfortable, but like a pro she hid it well, " There was a bit of peace naturally...while I was unconscious I wasn't in pain." rumors had traveled already about what had happened to Samantha, some knew she died and came back, others had more intimate details of what curses were used, then some people had exaggerated the tale completely turning Vivian into a fire breathing dragon, in any case most people didn't talk to Samantha about the attack at all.

[Justine Torrance]

Justine was less interested in the story of how it happened. The fact that it had happened at all... That was what interested Justine. She couldn't help but be curious about it.

"Why do you think you came back?" she asked. "I mean... death had its teeth in you, and it let you go. Why? Did you feel like there was still something you had to do? Someone who wanted you to stay?"

[Samantha Montgomery]

Beginning to feel grossly uncomfortable an unfamiliar feeling for Samantha, she shifted in her chair.

"I'm not entirely sure." she answered. Her eyes darted back up the stairs to where her bed would be waiting for her, she wondered if it would appear at all cowardly for her to leave. At the same time Justine's questions didn't seem intent on hurting Sam, or being malicious at all. She simply had a morbid curiosity. Were Sam to leave, anyone witnessing would probably forgive her, and yet she didn't move.

[Justine Torrance]

Morbid curiosity was exactly what it was. She was a girl who liked to hang out in cemetaries and read stories about death. Meeting someone who had actually been dead for a few minutes, well, it was just too much for her to resist. She wanted to know all about it. Unfortunately, Sam didn't have a lot of answers for her.

"What did it feel like when you came out of it? When you took that breath and opened your eyes again? Did you feel like you'd left something behind? Or were you relieved?"

[Natasha Davenport]

Natasha could not believe how long Samantha was letting this go on, and at Justine's last question she snapped her own book and letters shut, " For heaven's sake Justine, she's been through a traumatic experience, are you going to question her about it all night?" she asked pushed to her limits of what she would bear. No she didn't particularly like Samantha. Yes she didn't mind if the twit was ruined, but hell the girl had died for merlin's sake, and wasn't it enough to have survived it? Did she have to be hounded by questions as well?

It really wasn't Natasha's affair, but on the other hand Samantha didn't seem to be all that comfortable. Heaven forbid Natasha help her, and she wouldn't had Sam not been looking like a dear in the headlights.

[Justine Torrance]

Justine, of course, had been so wrapped up in herself that she really hadn't noticed that Sam was uncomfortable. When Natasha spoke up, she whipped her head around to stare at the other girl. "So have we all," she said. "Life is a traumatic experience, and I'm just trying to understand... what comes after."

She didn't really care much for Natasha; she thought the girl was vain and shallow. How could she understand what anyone was going through? Did she even really care, or was she just annoyed by the conversation?

But looking back at Samantha, she noticed for the first time how uncomfortable she looked. Justine's shoulders slumped and she let out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to be invasive. You don't have to answer."

[Samantha Montgomery]

Samantha wondered what sort of traumatic experiences either girl had, it wasn't a competition, but Sam could heartily agree life itself was a traumatic experience, she was just beginning to enjoy the better things in life and then the attack came from no where.

"It's alright." she answered, but she wasn't going to answer the questions about death, she was happy, or rather she knew it made others happy that she was alive and since she didn't really care either way she supposed she was happy too to make her father happy, and Nicolas happy.

Her eye roved to where Natasha was sitting looking properly annoyed. She had rolled her eyes when Justine said everyone had traumatic experience, as if she wanted to say more or set Justine down. Samantha was relieved it didn't come to that, she didn't escape her room full of nightmares, to enter the common room full of well nightmares.

[Justine Torrance]

This was why she had no friends, Justine thought. She was so utterly preoccupied with death that she really didn't know anything else to talk about. And for most people, death wasn't exactly high on their list of favorite subjects.

It had been different, at least partially, before Jason had been killed. She and Jason had been the ultimate odd couple--he was loud and pushy and into sports. She was quiet and serious and preoccupied with death. The only thing they had in common was their temper, which had often exploded all over the common room or in the middle of classes, when they'd burst into a fight about something stupid. She'd broken up with him so many times that she had lost count. She wasn't even sure now whether they'd been broken up at the time of his death, or if they were "together." It hardly seemed to matter now.

"I'm glad you're OK," she said, faltering.