|
|
Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Apr 28, 2009 0:58:09 GMT -5
Now that he had started crying, Mathieu wasn't entirely sure he could stop. He held tightly to Amandine, as if he was afraid that, if he let go of her, she would be gone, too.
"I love you, Amandine," he choked out. "You know that, right? I don't know if I ever said it to you... I don't think I ever told him, and now I never can..."
|
|
|
|
Post by Amandine Ferrera on Apr 28, 2009 1:19:06 GMT -5
"Oh Dad," Ama whispered, hugging her dad close. "I know that, I've always known and..." she paused and took a deep breath. It was her turn to be the brave sibling. Cyrus and Jamie had their own troubles and stuff to add onto this, Ama knew she'd have to be strong for her family. "...and Roland knew that too Dad, he knew you loved him, that we all loved him."
|
|
|
|
Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Apr 28, 2009 2:17:27 GMT -5
Mathieu let out a sob. It couldn't be true... Roland just couldn't be gone. There just had to be a mistake. "He adored you, Ama," he said, sniffling back the tears. "He loved the whole family, even if he wasn't good at saying it. That was probably my fault. But you... he used to say you were a ray of sunshine. He would have done anything for you."
Even die, apparently. If only he had called for backup....
Mathieu took a shaky breath. "O... OK. We... should get back. The others need us."
They'd already lost one member of the family. They couldn't afford to lose anymore.
|
|
|
|
Post by Amandine Ferrera on Apr 28, 2009 21:43:58 GMT -5
It took all Ama's might not to break down again when her dad talked about how much Roland adored her. "I know Dad," she said. She squeezed her eyes shut and took in a deep shuttering breath before offering her hand to her dad. She helped him up and headed toward the door, pausing to wait for him to join her.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Apr 28, 2009 23:25:45 GMT -5
In spite of everything that had been said so far, there was still a part of Mathieu that was holding out hope. He simply couldn't allow himself to believe that Roland was gone. There was a mistake, there had to be. He would keep clinging to that last scrap of hope until he knew for sure that the body they had found was Roland's. It simply was too terrible to imagine life without any of his children.
In the attack, both Cyrus and Jamie had been injured. That had been enough of a nightmare for Mathieu. And now Roland... it was all too much.
He took Amandine's hand and followed her out to the living room, his legs shaking underneath him. Losing one son was unthinkable, and suddenly he could no longer remember why he had been angry with Cyrus. It didn't seem to matter anymore. And with Roland gone, the rest of the family needed each other more than ever.
Cyrus. He had to talk to Cyrus.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cyrus Ferrera on Apr 28, 2009 23:53:00 GMT -5
Cyrus wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do. Hearing his mum repeat basically the same thing Hayden told him and Lina last night, made him feel bad all over again.
Last night, Lina had been able to calm him down and she also got him to lay down. He had only fallen into an extremely light sleep, waking up at every crack and pop of the apartment. Today, Cyrus knew that he was going to have to step up and do what he could to help his own family. He wanted to break into tears again, and a few rolled down his cheeks as he held on to Lina's hand.
Seeing Ama run out of the room nearly broke his heart again. He knew that she needed a moment. After she came back, Cyrus would be there if she wanted him. Jamie, poor Jamie. He wasn't sure how his brother was taking it. The stone expression on his face as he stood by their mother told him that Jamie wasn't sure what to feel and that he was trying to be strong for his family.
Cyrus glanced to Lina. He knew how close she and Roland were. Now it was his time to be there for her if she wanted to cry.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 1:49:30 GMT -5
Mathieu walked into the living room with Amandine at his side. His eyes first went to his wife, and was relieved to see that Jamie was with her, trying to comfort her. She shouldn't be alone, and he hadn't done a very good job of being there for her. Somehow, he felt very far away from her. He should have wanted to be close to her, to go through this with her, but it was too hard.
Instead, he moved over to Cyrus and sat down to the son who was now his oldest. Realizing that, Mathieu felt like he was being punched in the stomach, and for a moment, he couldn't breathe. Then he took Cyrus by the hand.
"Cyrus... I'm sorry. We never should have pushed you out of the family for making such a little mistake. Roland never approved of what we did.... and I'd like to honor his memory now by forgiving you."
|
|
|
|
Post by Cara Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 2:04:14 GMT -5
Cara had watched in absolute silence as Amandine ran, Mathieu following her. On the one hand, she was glad someone went after Amandine. On the other, she hated that it was her husband. It hurt because it meant that anyone else in this family was worth turning to and comforting and being with... except for her. Did he blame her?
Jamie drew her out of these damaging thoughts, and his stoic young face nearly tore her apart. In an instant, she had her arms around him. He was too young to be trying to comfort her. But she needed it from someone.
"I'm so sorry, Jamie," she whispered, even as Mathieu came back and spoke to Cyrus.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Apr 29, 2009 2:10:35 GMT -5
Lina stayed with Cyrus, holding his hand tight.
She had uncrossed her legs and was ready to go after Amandine herself when Mathieu got up, and she relaxed back into her seat next to Cyrus. They still hadn't told anyone they were engaged... it was selfish to spread good news when everyone was mourning.
And the part that ate at her... the guilt. Roland wouldn't have gone after them if she'd just stayed inside the other day, or fought better, or something. She could have saved him, and she was so sorry that she couldn't. How did she ever make that up to Cyrus?
Her eyes were on Mathieu when he returned, wary. She was surprised when he forgave Cyrus, but he hadn't even looked at her yet. But it was good... this would do Cyrus good.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cyrus Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 7:50:17 GMT -5
When Mathieu took his hand, Cyrus wasn't quite sure what to expect. He felt bad that it took a moment like this for him father to forgive him for what they thought was wrong. He wasn't even sure what his mother was going to say, if anything. However, Cyrus knew now that it was the best thing to keep things quiet and just go with the flow.
He knew that his father was not a hugging man, but that didn't stop him from hugging him. Cyrus let go of Lina's hand just for a moment to hug his father. "Thanks dad," he said in a quiet voice. Maybe now they could be a complete family now. He slowly let go of his father and returned his hand back to Lina's.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 10:42:17 GMT -5
As far as Mathieu was concerned, the family would never be whole again. There would always be a missing piece. The idea of carrying on without Roland was... well, it was unthinkable. And yet, they had no choice.
A tear slid down Mathieu's cheek. "He wanted us all to be a family again... He tried to get us to forgive you and to give you our blessing to marry Lina. For what it's worth, you have mine now."
|
|
|
|
Post by Cyrus Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 11:07:04 GMT -5
Roland was always there to push Cyrus in the direction he needed to be going in. Now, the only person that was really going to be pushing him was Lina. It was odd seeing as how he finally reached the destination he needed to be at, and the one that helped push him was no longer there. To Cyrus, Roland was much more than a brother, even though the two weren't that close. And the words 'miss him' seemed like an understatement at the moment.
He hated that now that Roland was gone, he was seeing things that he should have seen a long time ago. All he could do now was continue on doing what Roland wanted him to do. Last night, it didn't matter to Cyrus if he had his parents' blessings because he knew that if he waited any longer, he could have lost Lina.
Cyrus gave his father a faint smile that said 'thanks'. That faint smile faded, then he looked at his and Lina's hands. He moved their hands onto his knee and made sure that Lina's left hand was up. Cyrus wanted to share the news with Roland first, but with things right now, his father seemed like the next best candidate. He couldn't tell his mother yet because he had no idea how she was going to take it on top of Roland's death.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 11:42:13 GMT -5
Mathieu couldn't miss the sparkling diamond ring on Lina's finger. He stared at it for a long moment, unsure of how to react. He couldn't be happy. It was nothing against Cyrus or Lina or the fact that they were together. It was just that Mathieu was utterly convinced that he was never going to be happy ever again. A part of him was always going to be thinking about how Roland would have reacted if he had been there.
And Roland would have been thrilled. Possibly even enough to crack a smile. He would have been proud of Cyrus, and he probably would have arrogantly taken the credit for finally pushing Cyrus to do the right thing. Mathieu could almost picture it, and the image in his mind hurt so acutely that he broke down again and began to cry into his hands.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Apr 29, 2009 11:53:25 GMT -5
Lina glanced at Cyrus quickly when he moved their hands. She knew what he was doing, and she didn't think it was the right time. But it was his family... Cyrus would know better than her. So she squeezed his hand to let him know she was there for him, whatever happened. She really just wanted to go home and cry. His family didn't even want her here, and they were grieving.
But he said he'd give his blessing, and Lina whispered, "Thank you."
She wished she could help, looking helpless and Cyrus huggd his father and broke down.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cyrus Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 11:57:22 GMT -5
Glancing to Lina, he wasn't sure how to take his father's long pause. However, like Mathieu, Cyrus could picture Roland's reaction. He frowned before letting go of Lina's hand. Cyrus immediately put his arms around his father. It was his turn to start taking care of his family. He had a future wife, his own daughter, his parents and brother and sister that he was going to have to help watch out for.
As his father swept, Cyrus' eyes were clouded with tears again. He didn't really see how Jamie and Hayden's faces remained stonic with all of the sadness going on. Although he admired them both, especially Jamie.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jamie Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 22:22:34 GMT -5
Jamie towered over his mum, much like most females in his life. Cara had her arms around him, and Jamie returned the favor. But his body was almost too rigid, and he was completely stiff. But any other letting composure might mean that he had a crack. He couldn't afford cracks when his family was in this situation. Instead, he just pulled his mom as close as he could without hurting her. Maybe it would be like hugging Roland, they had the same build. And she would be able to forget for two seconds that he was gone.
Jamie thought for a while what his response to her statement should be. This wasn't about Jamie right now, it was about trying to make his mum feel better. Jamie wasn't quite sure of all the circumstances, so instead he said, "Roland loved you."
|
|
|
|
Post by Cara Ferrera on Apr 29, 2009 22:39:54 GMT -5
Cara would have broken down worse if she knew what Jamie was thinking. He was very similarly built to Roland, but she would never mistaken him for Roland. She could close her eyes and just sit in a room with one of her children, and she would know which it was with her. And for the moment, for those two seconds of relief that Jamie was hoping for, Cara was just glad she still had Jamie.
When he spoke, she sighed, letting herself cry. She wasn't like the boys. She couldn't be stoic and strong. She just held on to Jamie with everything she had left, which wasn't much.
|
|
Liam Ferrera
 
Seventh year[M:10]
You're talking a lot, but you're not really saying anything
Posts: 93
|
Post by Liam Ferrera on Apr 30, 2009 6:55:57 GMT -5
The whole while, even before Liam heard, he held his sister. The look in Aunt Cara's eyes said it was going to be something Sheena didn't want to hear, and he didn't want her to run away like Ama had.
Like Jamie and Hayden, he was quiet, but not emotionless. The sorrow and disbelief and anguish were in his eyes, which was more than his cousin was showing, but as always, he just watched. He'd speak if Sheena or Ama needed it... but that was it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Amandine Ferrera on May 4, 2009 0:52:44 GMT -5
Ama simply stood by the door way, unsure of what to do now. She cried, in her mind, that was all the crying she needed to do. Everyone else was greaving their own way, and Ama didn't want to interrupt. So she stood their, her eyes facing the floor but unfocused. Her hand had wondered its way to her neck, where the butterfly pendant Roland had given her was hanging. She fiddled with the charm, unaware of anything that was going on. Ama sort of just, shut down.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sheena Ferrera on May 4, 2009 1:19:29 GMT -5
Sheena was crying. She leaned her head on Liam and squeezed her brother's hand. This was aweful. Roland was like another brother to her, always nice, always there if she needed him. She looked back and forth between Hayden and Liam. She couldn't possibly imagine ever losing either of them. That was the trouble with an all aurror family, it was unpredictable.
Suddenly, Sheena knew she had to find Amandine. She saw her on the other side of the room, looking like her mind and thoughts were a million miles away. Sheena squeezed Liam's hand again and she silently got up and headed toward her cousin. "Ama..." Sheena whispered. She knew Ama wouldn't respond but she wrapped her arms around her anyway, hugging her close.
|
|
