So Confused (Josh/open)

[Eve Mallory]

And here she only thought he was trying to make her laugh, which he succeeded in doing. She didn't for an instant think he was serious about her being the only girl he wanted to share a bed with,she hadn't seen his ears. She was too busy wiping her tears and trying to stop looking so silly.

"I love you Josh." she said on a sigh, she did love him though the way she said it was more in the way of loving him for making her laugh when she was so unhinged " I'm sorry I'm so silly..."

Then she thought of what *she* just said...what she just announced...she had told him she loved him before...but not again since she realized her feelings extended beyond friendship.

[Josh Jordan]

"I love you too Eva," Josh said seriously. He meant it as more than a friend, but he wasn't sure if Eve caught up on that yet. "Don't be sorry, and you're not silly." He wiped away what tears she did have left on her face, and then tilted her chin upwards. "It's okay to cry and come to me with every thing. That is what I'm here for. I'm supposed to protect and comfort you. I like doing it, so don't ever be afraid to come to me at night or during any part of the day for that matter."

[Eve Mallory]

She supposed he thought those words were comforting, and they were, but that was the problem. She was likely to come to him, if only because she was beginning she didn't have a choice anymore, and yet that would make it all the more hard when she had to let him go, but she wouldn't think about that now.

Not when he was stroking her cheeks to wipe away her tears, not while their legs were still intertwined, not while she could still hear his heartbeat, and not while the whispered words of love still hung in the air between them.

No she felt like she was still dreaming, and it was a beautiful dream.

"Okay..." she said capitulating and once again trusting Josh with her safety as she always had.

[Josh Jordan]

This would have been the perfect moment to just kiss her, but to his luck, Lance would come bursting in wanting to know where he had been before he would even get the chance to kiss her. His brother had horrible timing. They were going to have to work on that.

Josh gave her a smile and tilted his head upwards to kiss her forehead. His lips lingered a moment longer on her forehead and then he looked down at her while he held her to him. Eve was perfect. He smiled again. "So, I'm not allowing you to leave my room anymore, unless it's for class, food, or you have to get clothes," he said with playful wink. "I want you to get better and be completely ready for my antics, and so you can fuss at me when I do something insane."

[Eve Mallory]

She closed her eyes and melted into his lips reveling in his lingering wishing upon dreams that she had too little self confidence to believe in. The truth was it wasn't really that she had a low self confidence, simply that she had placed both brothers on a pedestal, she gave them both the highest marks and had somehow made Josh so far out of her reach in her mind she didn't think it possible for him to love someone like her, she didn't think she deserved him.

"Alright." she agreed to his terms, she had never been able to argue long against him besides the terms didn't sound so bad.

She remembered feeling warm and her eyes went questioningly to his, "Am I hot? " she asked, "I feel all flushed...oh I hope I'm not sick, What if I get you sick Josh?

[Josh Jordan]

"Of course you're hot," he replied. "I personally think that you're the hottest girl in school, and I promise you I'm not kidding." His ears turned red again, as they usually did when he would give her compliments.

He went to the literal meaning of her words. "I don't care if you get me sick Eva. I'm going to take care of you, and if that is one of the consequences, then I don't mind it. As long as I know that I'm helping you get better then it's alright. Tell me, have you eaten much of anything lately?"

[Eve Mallory]

She laughed again when he joked around with her, or what she was calling joking, but then yawned. Then he asked about food and as if on purpose her stomach growled just then. She gave him a sheepish smile. Her stomach had been upset in the past few days so no she hadn't eaten much. She shook her head no shyly, but a part of her didn't want him to move, he was warm and she was comfortable even with their interlocking legs.

[Josh Jordan]

Josh looked at Eve with a shake of his head. "We're going to make sure you eat, but not right this second. I'm to comfortable and warm to move right now." To indicate this, he pulled her as close as she could go to him. "If we have to, we'll go into the kitchens. I actually have some candy up here, but I don't really think that will be a good thing for you to eat right now." He gave a wink.

[Eve Mallory]

When he pulled her in close Eve swallowed just a bit. Things were different now, for her at least, and all of a sudden his large body wrapping protectively around her were doing crazy things to her system, her stomach was in so many knots she was actually nauseous, and she was getting hot very hot but she didn't want to move. How to explain to a naive mind that what she was experiencing was attraction would be difficult, in fact her body was following exact procedure for a hormonal teenager before sex. Had Eve known that she would have jumped out of the bed quicker than lightning just to save herself the embarrassment.

"It's okay...I'm not that hungry anymore." she said but her voice trembled a little.

[Josh Jordan]

"We'll make sure that you do eat, but for right now, we're just going to let you rest," he said. Josh wished that he could just tell her plain out that he liked her actually, it was more than just liking her, but Eve would only think that he was joking. He had almost let it slip earlier and she had just laughed about it. She thought then that he was messing around, but how she was wrong.

"I can even bring you soup in a little bit. I think we should start you off on something small, don't you?"

[Eve Mallory]

"Soup...?" her stomach protested the thought of food at the moment but she would probably be hungry, still that wasn't why she asked the question. No for a few moments she forgot what soup was, " Oh..right. Soup." she remembered then nodded, "Yes...soup would be good...in a few...yes." she said but then brushed her cheek against his chest sighing a little. Quiditch, she decided, was very good for building muscle.

Godric just being held by him there was no one singular thing in the world that could give her as much pleasure...well that she had experienced yet.

She thought about their positioning, she thought about a lot of things, and so close to him she thought she could pretend she was someone else. She was the girl that Josh loved, and they did things like this...just laid in each others arms for hours and talked...that maybe at any given moment he could lean down and kiss her not on her head or her cheek or chin or anywhere else that wasn't her mouth. Her mind conjured other things as well things she couldn't help but think about...if only she were his.

[Josh Jordan]

"Yes, soup. I'll get it for you later. You should be able to handle it." Josh couldn't help himself, he ran his hand that belonged to the arm under Eve's head, through her hair carefully. If only he could really say that she was his. He knew that if he said anything about liking her now, she would either run away or just laugh. Josh didn't think that he could handle that, especially with the dance coming up.

Even though they were not 'together' he could still do almost anything with her. Of course, there were natural limits. Kissing her lips, which looked soft and inviting, was one of them. He couldn't do it, because he knew that if he did right then, it would end the moment, and he couldn't afford that.

"Are you comfortable? You're not too cold, not too hot are you?" Josh was going to make sure that she was comfortable.

[Eve Mallory]

She was hot, but not too hot, it was a nice hot a hot she would like to have for the rest of her life every night before she went to bed.

"No I'm fine." she assured him, then sighed, she was more than fine of course laying in his arms.

"Talk to me Josh..." she whispered she wanted to hear his voice.

[Josh Jordan]

Josh smiled. "Good. Let me know if you get uncomfortable," he said. He just laid there watching her. Josh could watch her all day long and not get bored. "What do you want me to talk about?"

He thought for a moment. "I'm excited about the dance. I'm counting down the days. The main thing I'm really looking forward to is being able to share that time with you of course. I think that we'll have a lot of fun, besides, I'm already starting to plan the night out a little."

[Eve Mallory]

Eve smiled but now her eyes were closed and her arms were wrapped around him just as snuggly as his were around hers, she smiled against his chest, "Plans...? You've got plans Mr. Jordan? What are your plans...?"

[Josh Jordan]

"Well, I can't tell you what my plans are just yet Ms. Mallory. You'll just have to find out what they are as we go along. Besides, it's a surprise, and I'm not going to tell you cause it wouldn't be a surprise." Josh grinned. At the dance, he was going to lay his feelings out there. If she wanted to laugh at him, then she could laugh. If she didn't want to believe him, then he would attempt to make her believe him.

Now, he couldn't tell her that. That was going to wait for the dance.

[Eve Mallory]

Eve smiled wider against him, "You'll make it the most perfect night...I already know." she sighed brushing her nose against his chest, " It's going to be wonderful."

An entire night dancing and being with him, if for only that one night she would pretend she was Cinderella off to the ball, she would be beautiful, hopefully with whatever Viv could manage and her handsome prince would love her.

[Josh Jordan]

"Of course it will be a perfect night. I have you as my date already," he said with a smile. Josh felt her nose brush against his chest and it raised chill bumps on his skin. "I'll do my best to make it a night to remember." He only hoped it didn't end with Eve running away from him after he tells her his feelings. Then again, that wouldn't stop him from going after her and trying to make her believe that he wasn't lying.

Josh would have already told her his feelings, but it seemed that the dance would be a more perfect chance because he knew that he would not be interrupted then.

[Eve Mallory]

"I'm sorry...if I made you worry about me." she whispered sleep closing in on her again, "When I fainted...during Herbology...Avoiding...you." she said the last quietly she was still awake but she lacked the energy to talk and wanted him to speak, she liked hearing his voice.

[Josh Jordan]

"It's okay," he said. "It's my job to worry about you." Josh noticed that she was tired and he couldn't blame her for being tired. She hadn't slept in a couple of days.

As Eve just sort of trailed off with her words, questions started forming in his mind. Why was she avoiding him? Josh didn't understand what he did wrong. He frowned for a moment, but he started to stroke her hair again as she started to fall asleep. "Go to sleep Eva. You need your rest, and I'll be right here when you wake up again. I promise."