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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 21:15:29 GMT -5
She sniffled loudly. "I'm OK," she said. "I mean... I guess I could use a tissue, but otherwise, I'm fine as long as you're holding me."
In truth, she needed a lot more than a tissue. Her throat felt raw and sore, and she was feeling weak with hunger and exhaustion. And she could feel that her face was smeared with runny makeup and tear streaks. She must have looked like a nightmare. But she didn't want him to let go of her long enough to deal with those issues. He was her lifeline, and she was afraid that if he let her go she would drown. She wanted to kiss him, to feel his hands on her skin, to know that he loved her and it was all worth it.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 21:27:08 GMT -5
"I can get you a tissue," he said, but he had no intention of letting her go, not when she still seemed so fragile. He rarely saw her this way. How many times had he lamented that she didn't need him, and when she did, he had almost blown it. "Accio tissues," he announced clearly, and the box flew to his hand.
He was male, and therefore trying to think this all over very logically still. "Maybe it was just... shock? I don't know. But what if you go to your sisters tomorrow, or in a couple of days, and try to reconcile with them?"
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 21:47:42 GMT -5
Andi took a tissue from the box and used it to wipe off her face. She didn't know or care whether it made her look any better, but she felt better, and that was good enough. With a second tissue, she blew her nose loudly. Now that she could breathe, she felt a little better. Taking out her wand, she levitated the balled-up tissues over to the trashcan.
Then she turned back to him with a crooked half-smile on her face. "Thanks," she said softly. Putting her arms around him again, she leaned against him like an anchor in a world that was still spinning wildly.
She thought over his suggestion carefully. Part of her wanted to believe that maybe it was possible, that maybe she could make them see reason. But another part of her told her that they were probably thinking the same thing about her. But she still had hope, however fragile, that maybe at least one of them could understand. Bella, she knew, was probably hopeless. Bella had been the one who said most of the cruel things... and she had always been the most fervent believer in blood purity. But Cissa.... maybe there was still a chance. Maybe. "I don't know," she said at last. "Maybe if I talk to Narcissa alone... maybe she'll understand. But not Bella. To be honest, I don't really care if I never see Bella again." She sighed and moved closer still. "I don't want to talk about them anymore. I just want to be with you."
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 21:57:55 GMT -5
"Okay," he said giving her that. It was just putting the issues at hand off for a while, but she needed that about now anyway. "We won't talk about them anymore."
He rubbed her back, wishing he could make it all go away for her. For the first time in his life, he found himself wishing he had been born a pureblood. He was not ashamed of his family or where he had come from, but it was hurting Andi now, and he'd give anything to make this easier on her.
He did't notice the make up running, or that her face was still red from crying so much. All he could see was that she was still breathtakingly beautiful.
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 22:07:29 GMT -5
It was one thing not to talk about them, but they were still present in her mind. They may as well have been sitting in the room with her. But she wanted to forget, even if for a little while. Her mind was overloaded and her emotions battered and bruised. She wanted to lose herself and not think at all. Just feel.
She tried again, shifting so that she was on her knees. She moved her hands so they were braced against his chest, while she touched her lips to his again.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 22:18:35 GMT -5
He sighed, but he didn't fight her. In fact, his hands reached up, cradling her face as he kissed her too. He was the epitome of gentle, though. He wanted her to know that he was there for her, to support her, to comfort her, to listen, whatever she needed.
And it seemed, right now, that she just needed to get her mind off of them. That was fine. Truth be told, he could stand to get his mind off of them as well. The things they said didn't bother her... how they treated her had.
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 22:34:21 GMT -5
As he responded, Andi began to deepen the kisses, while her hands began to caress his chest. She felt the damp spot here her tear-soaked face had been with a pang of guilt, but she still didn't break the kiss. She needed this... she needed him. She wanted him to understand just how much she loved him.
Pulling away slightly, she looked him straight in the eyes. She took a deep breath, then slid the right side of her robe down her arm, baring one pale shoulder. "Please, Ted," she breathed. "Touch me."
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 22:40:47 GMT -5
Ted met that gaze with less courage than she did, and it all clicked into place for him. She was presenting him with an opportunity that he had dreamed about, but somewhere in his logic he felt that she didn't really want what she was asking for. She was doing it to spite her sisters. Or to make him love her more, which was a ridiculous thought, but who knew, she could be thinking it. There were a thousand reasons she could have been doing this, except the one that mattered. She was upset, and he didn't want her regretting it in the morning or in a couple of hours or whenever her emotions subsided.
"Andi... no."
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 22:56:27 GMT -5
Andi's chin quivered as she looked at him. Why was he rejecting her? Couldn't he see how much she needed him right now? Uncertainty gnawed at her heart. Sure, the timing could have been better. The incident with her sisters was still very fresh on her mind. But she wanted to put it behind her, to lose herself in him. The evening had been so horrible, yet there was still something good about it. They'd confessed their love for one another. When one door closes, somewhere a window is opened. She may have closed the door on her family, but the future lay before her in a huge, picture window. She wanted to jump through that window, and leave her old, miserable life behind.
"Why?" she asked softly, her large liquid eyes pleading with him. "Don't you want me?" She took his hand in hers and placed it on her bare shoulder. She could feel the roughness of his palm against the silky skin of her shoulder and it made her shiver slightly.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 23:07:07 GMT -5
Ted's breath hitched, again, and his eyes rested on his hand on her shoulder for a minute before he met her eyes again. If she started crying again, he would give her the world and never say no to her ever again. He silently begged her not to cry.
"Yes, Andromeda," he answered, matching the soft tone of her voice. "I do... and I will. When you feel better, if you still want this, I will be there. But I can't bear the thought of you regretting whatever happens tonight. I'm afraid you don't really want this. And that's okay, I understand."
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 23:22:34 GMT -5
He was being honorable. She should have known. It was so like him. And she had to admit, she was not acting at all like herself tonight. She hardly ever cried, but tonight, she couldn't quite seem to stop. And now she was practically throwing herself at him. One of them had to be in control, had to be strong.
But that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to toss honor and caution to the wind. She wanted him.
"Ted, listen to me," she said, her voice even but quiet. "I've never wanted anything more in my life. I have no regrets, except maybe that I was born into a more tolerant and understanding family. I did what I had to do. It hurt like hell... still does. But I'm here with you now, and this is where I want to be. And I just.... I want you to take the pain away. Just for now... let me lose myself in you. I promise I won't regret it."
To illustrate her point further and silence his protests, she leaned up and kissed him again.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 23:35:11 GMT -5
She cut him off from arguing more, because he was going to argue. The more she spoke, and the more she kissed him, however, the harder it was for him to see reason. He wanted to wait with her. Had it been any other girl, he would have folded to her desires, and his, earlier. And then, inevitably, she would regret it and so would he, and he didn't want that to happen to Andi. He couldn't be the cause of her unhappiness.
He forced her to break the kiss. "This is killing me," he said, holding her so that she'd let him talk, but so that she didn't pull away either. "I know you don't think you'd regret this, but you're upset right now, and not thinking straight... and if you ask me again, I'll do everything I know how to make you forget, and I'll enjoy it... but I need you to know that you will, too. I don't want to hurt you."
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 21, 2008 23:48:12 GMT -5
Andi wanted to be annoyed that he kept putting her off. But of course, his honorable nature was one of the things she loved about him. And seeing that he was affected by her kiss and that it was hard for him to pull away made her love him even more. Of course, that also made him even more irresistible.
"My emotions may be a mess right now," she said firmly. "But my mind is clear. It has been from the beginning. From the minute I agreed to go out with you, I knew that, if we lasted any length of time, it would come down to what happened tonight. And I accepted that risk. I welcomed it. Ted, I've known for a long time--before I even met you--that tonight was coming. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but I knew it would happen. I knew I would have to take a stand for what I believed in--and who I cared about. I said I loved you tonight, and I'm not taking that back. I just want to be with you, to feel your hands on me. I'm perfectly clear in what I want. I've had a horrible night... I want to turn it into something good I can remember. I want to do this. Please...."
Now feeling more bold than ever, she reached over and began to unbutton his robe while she began to kiss his neck.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 22, 2008 0:50:33 GMT -5
Finally, Ted let her. He did not move to stop her hands, and he even tilted his had back to give her better access to his neck. He was passive for a moment, reconciling everything in his own mind.
He loved her. He loved her so much that he couldn't even say it at first, and enough that he tried to tell her no. Those had never been problems for him before, which told him that what they were doing and what he felt for her meant more than he'd ever experienced before. She was it, she was the one for him.
She loved him. This was almost a heartbreaking thought. She had sacrificed her family for him, and he needed to live up to what she needed from him. He'd spend the rest of his life making sure that she never regretted what she had done tonight.
He brought his head back and looked at her before he took her hands in his. He was going to make her take this slowly. He wanted it to mean something to her, and be something she would remember.
He pulled her closer, kissing her lips, and then the corner of her lips and along her jawline until he had reached her ear. "I'll be your family, Andi," he whispered. He was gently easing her back so that he had the upper hand, so to speak.
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 22, 2008 19:40:54 GMT -5
She let out a soft sigh of happiness at his words. This was what she wanted more than anything; to form a new family with him. She'd been born into a family where she didn't really belong, where in every way, her attitudes, beliefs and behavior was deemed to be wrong. They said that you could choose your friends, but you couldn't choose family. Well, she knew for a fact that it wasn't true. She was choosing, here and now, to make Ted her family, and to build on from there. The very thought of it made her bruised and battered heart soar with joy.
She closed her eyes and allowed him to ease her back onto the sofa. She could feel the weight of his body, so solid and warm against her, and she touched her hands to his shoulders, feeling the muscles as they moved. Some distant part of her wondered if they should consider taking this into the bedroom, but she was afraid if they stopped, even to move into the bedroom, he would change his mind and decide to stop. "I love you," she sighed again.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 22, 2008 23:11:31 GMT -5
Ted kissed the length of her throat, holding himself up. He didn't want to crush her, first of all. Secondly, he wanted to take things very slowly so he didn't scare her or make her feel like he was pressuring her. His hands weren't even going for her robes yet, although she'd managed to get his half unbuttoned, showing the very muggle undershirt he wore. Robes, he decided, had far too much fabric to be any good for this kind of activity.
His lips brushed her bared shoulder, and every other bit of bared skin, which there unfortunately was not much of yet.
He took his time like this, before he rolled back on his knees. He wanted to tell her so much, how very beautiful he thought she was, how she deserved the world, and how he planned to give it to her.
He moved and stood up. "Come with me," he said, extending his hand to her. He wasn't going to ask her if she wanted to go to the bedroom or not... he didn't think tonight should be on the couch, and he wanted to move.
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 22, 2008 23:53:54 GMT -5
Andi placed her hand in his and slid off of the sofa, getting to her feet. It had been so long since she had tried to stand, she had forgotten how limp her legs had been when she walked to the couch earlier that evening. The exhaustion and emotion that still gripped her made her wobble ever so slightly, but she looked at Ted and smiled. In that moment, she would have followed him anywhere.
The bedroom was, thankfully, also neat. Since she'd bought her robe especially for the occasion, she hadn't tried on mulitiple robes as she usually did before a date. There were a few pairs of shoes strewn about, but otherwise, her bedroom was clean. Her breath caught in her throat as she walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of the pale blue coverlet. Looking up at him, she had no words to say. She reached up and pulled her hair out of the knot in the back of her head, allowing it to spill down over her shoulders. Then, with an inviting smile, she shifted up and leaned back on the pillow.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 23, 2008 0:23:45 GMT -5
Ted didn't even look at her room. It could have been completely messy and he wouldn't have noticed. He followed her to the bed, and finally allowed himself to start working at her clothing.
He was slow and gentle and loving, and learned exactly what it meant to find home in another person. She was it, the one, his home.
He wrapped his arms around her, offering safety and a home for her, too, before he fell into a light sleep, his body instinctual aware of hers.
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Post by Andromeda Tonks on Aug 23, 2008 0:39:56 GMT -5
Andi slept deeply that night, as exhaustion finally claimed her. Feeling his warmth next to her and knowing that she was safe and loved washed away the pain of her split with her sisters. For that night, anyway, her troubles were forgotten.
Sometime during the night she shifted so that she was lying with her head on his chest, her arm draped possessively around him. Agamemnon, apparently not wanting to be excluded, had also joined them later in the night and was laying between them down at their knees.
She woke up to the sounds of birds chirping outside her window. Looking over at Ted, she smiled softly and shifted so that she could see his face. He looked so beautiful in sleep. Like a little boy... only not. A wave of tenderness swept over her and she pressed a kiss to his lips.
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Post by Ted Tonks on Aug 23, 2008 0:44:59 GMT -5
The kiss was what woke him up, that and the shifting of her body to get her near his lips. He had woken up in the middle of the night when she turned to lay on him as well, though he'd quickly fallen back asleep.
"Mmm," he mumbled, a little slow to wake up, but when his eyes opened and took the sight of her in, he smiled. Maybe she wasn't regretting it afterall, and that made him inexplicably happy.
"Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep okay?"
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