Repentance

[Lyra Newbury]

"I love myself just fine," Lyra lied. She used her fingers to wipe the tears from her eyes and tried her damnedest to forget about that man. He was gone and there was no use in pretending what she felt for him was real. It was a game, she told herself. A test of sorts to see if romantic love existed and now she knew. It didn't

[Samantha Montgomery]

Sam gave Lyra a look that said they both knew better. Sam wasn't about to let Lyra lie to herself about something so obvious. But to her credit and to give Lyra a break Sam didn't push any further.

Instead she ordered something off of the menu, and a bottle to accompany it.

[Lyra Newbury]

She didn't want wine. She hadn't been drinking wine since she finished off the ridiculously expensive bottle of vintage wine she had bought as a surprise for him. She drank wine with him because he ordered it, and it wasn't as though she disliked it by any means. She wasn't sure why she never ordered something different with him, she just let him choose. He always made good choices, she reasoned.

But she had begun to associate the drink with him and she didn't want to think about him anymore. Lyra ordered a cocktail with her lunch and forced a smile for the waiter. "How's your brother? I thought I would see him more as I'm staying at the castle but I suppose he's staying at the school." She was making a list of non-confrontational topics in her head. Caleb was safe.

[Samantha Montgomery]

"Honestly it's rare to see any of my family at the estate. Caleb is at the school as you guessed. My father is with my step mother and Christine's parents vacationing somewhere. My other Uncles are never home. Christine just moved out." Sam shrugged, and she was hardly ever there either. It was a mighty large home that remained fairly unoccupied.

[Lyra Newbury]

"I guess it's just Nicolas and me, then. Maybe I'll redecorate everything and see if anyone notices." Lyra was still just as conflicted over staying at the castle as she had been before she moved in, well officially that is. She enjoyed the luxuries that Samantha's family home provided that her modest flat did not. But she enjoyed being on her own and although she rarely saw anyone other than Nicolas, she always felt as though she were being watched. She probably was. Lyra wasn't dumb enough to think that Samantha trusted her alone after what happened, though no one was stopping her from making new scars on the floor of her new bathroom so they weren't watching her too closely.

[Samantha Montgomery]

There was an enchantment on the grounds that prevented life threatening harm to any of the family members or residents, even if it was self-induced. There were loopholes of course, but for the most part Momtgomery Manor was the safest place for a Montgomery - or friend - to be. Samantha had already consulted Dr. Nadeer about Lyra's chances for a second incident and was satisfied with keeping a limited eye on her.

Sam laughed, "You're more than welcome to try your hand at it. It isn't as though there isn't enough space."

[Lyra Newbury]

Lyra smiled and nodded but the conversation still felt forced and completely unnatural. It wasn't how it used to be. She missed her friend, but she also missed herself. She was having a hard time finding her again.

[Samantha Montgomery]

Samantha also felt odd, but she was much better at faking it than Lyra was. She missed her friend, but at the same time she didn't know how to reach the girl. Nik knew more about Lyra these days, and Nik wasn't to be found. He had disappeared to wherever it was he disappeared when he felt like sulking or blowing off steam. Sam didn't pay too much attention to it, but doted on him often when he decided to return.

[Lyra Newbury]

There was a long pregnant pause as they are their food. It was one of the more awkward meals Lyra had attended and that included having to sit across from Lani and Rystain at the Slytherin table when she had come in late to dinner one evening, there had only been one seat left open and their fallout in the common room was still recent enough at the time t cause all parties to feel uneasy.

Lyra picked at her food, having once again taken to not eating much. She claimed that she was trying to lose the weight that she'd gained during her doctor ordered bed rest, but the only problem with that story was that her recovery had actually caused her to lose weight. Still, when she had had what she considered to be enough, she looked up and smiled in Samantha's direction. "Should we get dessert?"

[Samantha Montgomery]

Weight was another 'problem' that never seemed to affect Samantha. Though her mother often insisted that Sam was 'putting on too many pounds' and introduced her to the two finger diet, her body simply redistributed the 'fat' to areas which benefited the female figure.

"I'm game if you are."

[Lyra Newbury]

Lyra's smile widened at Samantha's agreement. The thought of something sweet was worth an extra pound or two. Lyra's sweet tooth was well known and while Samantha's palate may have been more refined and she obviously knew where to go for the best desserts, Lyra could each a chocolate anything from anywhere and be blissfully happy.

They ordered a slice of cake to share between them and when it came and Lyra had had the first delectable bite she melted into her seat with a truthfully happy expression on her face. If nothing else about this lunch had gone smoothly, there was always this cake.

[Samantha Montgomery]

Sam laughed as Lyra gave a meaningful smile. If only she could keep the girl in chocolates and ice cream all would be right in the world.

"I told the waiter to package one to go."

[Lyra Newbury]

Lyra not so delicately stuffed another bite into her mouth as Samantha revealed there was more for later. "See? This is why we're friends. What would I do without you?"

What would Lyra do without Samantha? Would she survive on her own without her little team of guardian angels?

[Samantha Montgomery]

"You'd manage I'm sure."

But Sam certainly had made it easier for her. As did Nik. Perhaps they deserved credit for what they had done, not that Lyra had been ungrateful. But Sam understood Nik's frustration. Lyra was giving everything she had to people who either used or abandoned her. She was seeking approval and love from her parents, secure in the knowledge that she had Sam's, and whether she knew it or not Nik's as well.

It was painful to watch Lyra's self worth diminish because she measured her worth by her parent's standards, or by Julian's evident love. She didn't even see that what Julian had done had been because he loved her. She was very broken.

[Lyra Newbury]

Lyra finished her cake, not acknowledging the elephant in the room that Lyra would most certainly not manage. How sad, she thought to herself, that I am dependent on someone younger than me. Lyra often forgot that Samantha was younger, not by much but when your best friend is running an empire while your screwing strange men in a foreign country it can be difficult to remember who the adult really is.

"When is Nicolas returning?" she asked in what she hoped to be a nonchalant manner. What Lyra really wanted to know was when her next scheduled lecture would be. With only Nicolas and Lyra found at the castle with any regularity, and Lyra having left Nicolas while in another country where she couldn't even speak the language, she knew there was some sort of fall out yet to come.

[Samantha Montgomery]

Sam sighed letting Lyra know that Nik wasn't the safe topic Lyra had hoped for.

"He's off sulking somewhere. I'm not sure what set him off this time. When did you two go your separate ways?" she asked curious.

[Lyra Newbury]

Samantha sighing was not a good sign and before the brunette even began to talk Lyra knew something was up. Sulking. Why would Nicolas be sulking? He wouldn't have disappeared because Lyra drank too much, in his opinion, which was the exact amount of alcohol he had personally given her. Would he? Lyra didn't want to admit to her friend that Nicolas had claimed she was too drunk, not after all of her recent "events".

"When we were still at the club. I went home with...I don't remember his name. I think Nicolas was still at the bar but I had already told him he didn't have to take me home." Perhaps he found one of the many gorgeous women from the nightclub and went back to her place, but Lyra didn't want to say that to Samantha. Lyra knew that Samantha wasn't in love with Nicolas and the couple, though engaged, weren't actually romantically involved but it still felt strange to tell her friend that her fiancee had potentially gone home with another woman.

[Samantha Montgomery]

Sam had the same thought, and she didn't discount the idea of him going off with some gorgeous woman for a few days of fun. She didn't mind either. Yes they were technically a couple, but she didn't love him. He knew better than to let the affair become public, and he would never embarrass Sam. It wasn't like Sam was sleeping with him, and in that regard Nik deserved to have some fun.

Sometimes Sam wished Nik would fall for one of those women he 'sulked' with. She wanted Nik to be happy and she doubted her ability to make him happy. Honestly when they were together in any sort of romantic fashion it made her uncomfortable. She saw Nik as a friend, a best friend, a confidante, but not a lover.

"He's been rather moody lately." Sam said with a light shrug. She didn't mention that she thought it could be related to his disappointment with Julian.

[Lyra Newbury]

Lyra didn't suspect Nicolas' sulking to be related to Julian - she tried very hard not to think of Julian at all. Instead, Lyra wondered if Nicolas was in a mood because he continually thought that he was somehow responsible for Lyra. He used the security ring he had given to track her down to the hotel when she had gone with Vanessa's friend, and he was the one who picked her up from the police station when she'd been arrested. Samantha could have easily done that, or even simply sent a lawyer to take care of it. There was no reason for Nicolas to constantly insert himself into her life as if he were her father. She already had a father and Nicolas could take the man's lead and ignore her existence for all she cared.

"Maybe it's his time of the month," Lyra said offhandedly as she lifted her cocktail glass to her lips. Her feelings for Nicolas were complex and she wasn't sure at that moment whether she was worried or angry with him, so she felt something of both at once.

[Samantha Montgomery]

Samantha sighed and pondered the situation. Normally when Nik sulked it was due to her behavior, and while she had been busier than usual, she wasn't sure what she could have done to warrant his absence lately. She didn't think it appropriate to drag Lyra into it so she kept quiet about her odd relationship with the man she was theoretically engaged to.

"Well, he's due for some time away too." she said excusing him.