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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 20, 2017 19:40:27 GMT -5
She let him. Distracted by the feeling of his hands on her she closed her eyes and inhaled his scent.
But then her eyes opened to the photo in the trash. How many times were they going to repeat this cycle?
"What was all that back there anyway?" she asked snaking out of his arms.
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 20, 2017 19:50:29 GMT -5
He was loathe to let her go but the question she posed was a difficult one. He turned and retrieved his glass, thankful he had had the foresight to fill the glass to the rim. He took a sip as he turned back to face Diana. "That was the future...of wizard kind," he answered cryptically. He hadn't given any thought to explaining it to Diana, it was just sort of something that a part of him. Christian didn't explain himself.
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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 20, 2017 19:55:51 GMT -5
"A cult." she snorted, " You joined a cult, you and Derek." she rolled her eyes. It was clearly some kind of latent fraternity wannabe grasp on his younger glory days, but this time it had nearly cost them both their lives. Diana was not amused by any of it, and now she was worried about what the repercussions would be in angering the 'brotherhood'
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 20, 2017 22:39:47 GMT -5
"Look Diana, maybe you've been a little too busy to notice but we're in a war. Power is changing hands and I for one want to be on the winning side when the dust settles. Call it a cult if you'd like but the Dark Lord will soon reign over the UK and it's smart to be in his good graces. It's f*cking strategy." Getting tangled up with a wanted woman with a ridiculous bounty on her head was not strategy, at least not a very good one. Christian knew his standing with Lord Voldemort had been compromised and he would have to do whatever he could to receive his favor once more.
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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 21, 2017 0:53:57 GMT -5
She had been too busy to notice, well too busy to care rather. She gave Christian a bored look as he went all fanboy on her. Surprisingly it was an unattractive image. The Christian Diana had come to know was fearless and in charge. She didn't fancy him bowing down to anyone, even someone as powerful as Voldemort. She had sensed many things about the powerful wizard, and while power was one of those things, he also carried cruelty the way Steele had, and perhaps more than a little madness as well.
He was a dangerous acquaintance and Diana didn't care for her husband's reverent tone.
"Busy. That's one way to put it." she said put off by how casually he disregarded the hardships she had been through the past few years.
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 21, 2017 1:12:42 GMT -5
"F*ck, Diana. You know what I mean. This sh*t with the board members is...well, f*ck I don't even know how to f*cking put it into words. I literally can't even tell you how many times we've almost died but compared to this war between Voldemort and the Ministry, it's f*cking child's play."
Christian wasn't fanboying over Voldemort or the man's cause. He was being smart and doing what was right for him. And now for his family. It was the same reason he agreed to help Diana in the first place, though he didn't remember the first time around. Christian had been looking out for himself when he took the contract on Diana's life. When he found out his child was involved, he changed teams to protect Alyx. Now that he had fallen for Diana and they had a son on the way, Christian needed to keep them safe. Being on the opposing side would not behoove the Wards. It was all about strategy.
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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 21, 2017 1:18:01 GMT -5
"With one big f*cking difference, I didn't ask for this fight with the board members. I didn't have a choice. Now we're at the end of it, this horrible experience that has nearly taken both of our lives too many times to count, and you're telling me that once it's all over it's only just beginning? When does it end Christian?"
She only wanted to keep her family safe. If there was war brewing she wanted to be on the other side of the world with her children and her husband.
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 21, 2017 1:31:13 GMT -5
"It doesn't f*cking end, Diana! This is life! This is it. We get tiny moments of happiness and short reprieves and then it's sh*t again. None of this is new. Look at Grindelwald. Look at Hitler. You don't get a f*cking choice with this one either. The war is here and more of it is f*cking coming. You either fall in line or get run over and I will not have us run over!"
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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 21, 2017 1:37:36 GMT -5
"And I will not subject our children to the same horrors we've barely escaped!" she returned just as passionately, "I want more for them than this life! They deserve to be happy! To be safe!" it was all she wanted.
How could Christian think that Diana would be okay with any of this? Of course neither of them ever really thought of the practical parts of their relationship, it was mostly just sex. She loved the man but sometimes it was as if she were still figuring him out. And depressingly she realized that they were severely incompatible.
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 21, 2017 1:48:06 GMT -5
She was so infuriating at times. Most of the time. She was so focused on the details that she was missing the bigger picture. "I will make sure they're f*cking safe!" he hollered at her.
"Where do you expect to go, Diana? Where do you think you can take them that they won't be exposed to this sort of sh*t?" Nowhere. Where ever they ran trouble would come eventually.
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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 21, 2017 2:01:56 GMT -5
If trouble found her she would fight, but she didn't sign up for the fight the way Christian had.
"How can you make sure they're safe if you're dead?! If we're both dead because you can't pull the f*cking trigger!? Because we're still caught in a war that neither of us belong in?! We belong with our children, away from this mess."
She realized then they were walking into what had been taboo before. Talking about the future. A still uncertain future. Would they still even be together after taking down the board members? What if they found a way to release the bond between them? Could they just go their separate ways? Did Christian still want to go separate ways?
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 21, 2017 3:32:45 GMT -5
"Trust me for once, for f*ck's sake! Damn it, Diana! We wouldn't be here right now if you'd just f*cking trusted me. We wouldn't be having this f*cking argument of whether or not I should have f*cking killed you to save myself. I had a f*cking plan. Derek told me, since I can't f*cking remember it on my own!" His voice grew louder as he referenced, once again, the fact that she had oblviated him.
"All you had to do was f*cking trust me, Diana. We would have taken care of the last bloody board member and then dealt with Copperbottom and there wouldn't be a f*cking bounty on your head now! That means no Silas. No summons from the Dark Lord. No asking me to kill you!"
"I signed on long before you came around, Diana. Lord Voldemort is not someone you just send in a f*cking resignation letter to, alright? He may be an extremist but he takes care of those that are loyal. Had this whole Silas sh*t not gone down, he would have ensured our whole f*cking family was well protected. But you f*cking took away three months of my memories, costing us another two f*cking months that I could have used to f*cking plan against this bounty sh*t had I known any f*cking thing about it! Had I known who you were to me! Instead of being out ahead of it, we're rushing to put out the bloody fires as they f*cking come. You might work well with that f*cking system, Diana, but I've been around the block enough times in my line of work that I know the proper way to handle these sorts of things. And this isn't f*cking it! Reacting isn't it! We have to be f*cking proactive and strike before the sh*t hits the f*cking fan and I could have done that if you just f*cking trusted me!" Derek had recently explained how to get his memories back but it was days such as today that made Christian believe that the memories weren't worth the torture. Perhaps Diana wasn't worth the torture. He now knew the threats against them and he could put together a hasty plan in attempt to keep them safe. Did he really want to regain the emotions that would tie him to this woman who had effectively ruined his life?
"After you caused this f*cking sh*tstorm you still think I'm the one who's going to endanger our f*cking children?! F*cking face facts, Diana. Of the two of us I'm the only one that's been able to live my f*cking life in the middle of this damned war. You've been running like a bloody mad woman for two f*cking years and you didn't know what peace was until you f*cking found me. So who's really going to know how to best keep Alyx and Liam safe once they're here? Huh?"
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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 21, 2017 23:58:26 GMT -5
She let him yell at her. It only cemented the distance she felt towards him. It highlighted their differences, and in the end it told her that he would always blame her for taking his memories from him. She could apologize til she was blue in the face, and it had cost her pride deeply to do so, in fact much of what she had put up with the past few weeks had worn on her pride, but she was done being his whipping post.
"Trust goes both ways. You have to earn it to get it, and once you had mine you destroyed it. You broke me Christian. You do it every time I think I can trust you. Every time I let my guard down..." She hardened from the hurt tone she had used not wanting to show him yet again another piece of vulnerability.
"You think I found peace when I found you? You abandoned me sixteen years ago. You took a contract out on my life. Twice. You lied about the contract. Twice. You imprisoned me for weeks. You threw our relationship in my face at every turn. And you never let me forget that I took away your memories. You never let me forget that you could have done everything better than I have. Never fail to remind me how I'm just not good enough. I've been through more life threatening injuries in the past six months with you, at times saving you, than I have in the past two years before I saw you at the inn. And I...I'm tired Christian. I'm tired of not being good enough. And I'm tired of trying to be good enough. It is time to face facts, and the fact is that you and I... we're sh*t Christian."
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 22, 2017 1:04:59 GMT -5
He couldn't argue whether or not he had trusted her before, he didn't remember. It would have been a flimsy argument to say that he would have only taken out the contract on her head, and then kept it secret from her, once had she not wiped his memories. But Christian wasn't about to apologize for doing his job.
"Twice. Yes, I took a contract out on you twice. And twice I kept it from you. And twice I changed my mind because there's something about you that apparently I can't escape from. You question my methods and expect me to roll over and accept it. Accept that I'm going to put our children in danger and put you in danger. But I point out your faults and suddenly we're sh*t? We're over? Then fine. That's f*cking fine, Diana."
He turned and headed toward the door. "Have fun with your final f*cking board member. I'm going to go fine my daughter, like I should have done five months ago!" Walking away now wouldn't solve anything, but if he stayed he would end up doing something he regretted.
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Post by Diana Ward on Feb 22, 2017 1:14:34 GMT -5
It wasn't Christian she doubted. She had every faith that he could do what he said he would do. She had every faith that he would prevail. Perhaps she should just sit back and follow his lead, except he could make her feel so small, so worthless. It wasn't Christian Diana doubted, it was herself.
She wasn't strong when he was around her. She was too vulnerable, too soft, and she made too many mistakes.
She wanted to call him back, she clenched her fist so tightly til her nails drew blood to keep herself from calling him.
She caught Diana from the photograph staring up at her.
"It's better this way." she said as though she were trying to explain, "Life isn't a photograph." she continued, "We were both drugged out of our minds anyway." she said bitterly in reference to the happy couple in the photo. She would never have that with Christian, any chance she had, she already ruined it.
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Post by Christian Ward on Feb 22, 2017 1:49:53 GMT -5
He could have called his men and ordered them to start the search for Alyx that he'd been conflicted over since he realized Diana's daughter was his only a few weeks ago. One of the memories Silas had shook loose in Christian's head was of Christian preparing for Alyx's arrival. Records; he had bought the girl a gift as a sort of homecoming. Christian briefly wondered if the records had survived that ambush at his home. If they were destroyed and his memories of planning her arrival had mostly disappeared, would that change things for him?
He pondered this question while finishing his drink, and another, at the kitchen table instead of setting a research team to locate her. They had the mystery board member to contend with first.
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