Hope Anchors the Soul

[Christian Ward]

Yes, Christian had tried to kill Diana. Once that he remembered, but he didn't doubt the first attempt either. But that was when Diana had been a mark. Sure, he knew her many years ago, but it wasn't as if he had had a close relationship with the woman when he agreed to murder her. Not a relationship that he was aware of, anyhow.

Christian disliked Derek's remark and it echoed the same sentiments Diana frequently used when they argued. Christian was a horrible man for doing his job, only he wasn't doing his job now. He wasn't cashing in on Diana's bounty and it wasn't entirely because of their life bond. But Derek and Diana didn't want to hear that, and Christian would be damned if he were going to admit it now.

Diana returned and Christian kept his comments to himself as he took a seat on the sofa, opposite his regular place. He would need to be near Diana and an armchair wouldn't do. Beyond that, Christian knew relatively nothing of what was about to happen and waited silently for instruction, not enjoying the follower role he had been given.

[Diana Ward]

Maybe it wasn't fair to judge Christian for doing his job, but it certainly put a kink in trusting him when it came to Diana's safety. As it was she still wasn't sure if he cared about their son or daughter. She knew better than to believe that he cared about her.

Diana took her tea and gestured to the other cup for Christian as Derek sat opposite them.

"Cheers." she said with a half smile holding the cup out.

[Christian Ward]

Christian picked up the tea cup that was waiting for him. "Poisoning me now isn't going to do you any good," he said with a grin toward Diana, attempting to lighten his mood. His eyes fell to the talismans on the table then to Burke before returning to settle his gaze on Diana. With any luck this thing would be over quickly and Christian could kick a memory-less Derek out of his house and return to being the man in charge.

[Diana Ward]

Diana gave him a tight smile in return. She wasn't poisoning him, not really. Not lethally. But she was effectively knocking him out with the additional ingredients she used in his tea. The ingredients would link them with Derek's aid allowing them to enter Diana's subconscious.

She reached a hand out for his and swallowed her tea in one go.

[Christian Ward]

Her hand was cool against his. It set his hair on end for a brief moment before he tightened his grip slightly and raised the teacup to his mouth. It was hot and warmed his insides, almost making him sleepy. He was sleepy suddenly. Very sleepy. He gave a confused look at Diana. Had she poisoned him?

His eyelids grew heavy and despite his resistance his eyes shut and his head lulled back against the sofa.

[Diana Ward]

Diana too fell back on the sofa, but her eyes closed a second later, she had a faint smile on her face.

"Alright Crawford, give him hell." Derek smirked. He levitated the couple upstairs and placed them on the bed then began the spell to link them.

***

Diana immediately felt the pull of Derek's spell, when she opened her eyes she was no longer at Christian's flat, but at her own grande estate in the country. She was in her room sitting on the bed.

Christian appeared then on the bed with her, he hadn't opened his eyes yet. She studied him as he slept. Why did God have to make him so unbearably handsome?

[Christian Ward]

His eyes opened a moment later and he blinked as he looked around, trying to determine what had happened. At first he simply thought he had woken from a nap in his own home but barely a second later he realized this was not the case.

Diana was there, looking at him. "What's going on?" he asked curiously, but not suspiciously. There was no danger here, no reason to believe there was any foul play but he wasn't certain what was happening.

[Diana Ward]

"Don't be mad." she said immediately, which told him he was probably going to be mad.

"Just think of it as really deep meditation." she was almost amused, though she could tell she wouldn't find it amusing later.

[Christian Ward]

It was nearly impossible to not be mad when someone told you to not be mad. Christian's face hardened slightly as he looked at Diana. "What did you do--" Really deep meditation, she said. His lips pursed in annoyance.

"And where are we exactly?" he asked, this question more firm than his first. He looked around the bedroom, it was completely unfamiliar to him.

[Diana Ward]

Diana took a long look around the room. It was massive. They were sitting on a four poster king sized bed, which didn't even take up an eighth of the room. There was a fireplace, with two chairs and a table between them on one side of the room with floor to ceiling book shelves on either side of the fireplace. A floor to ceiling paneled window with seating all long one wall with heavy draperies, made up another part of the room. Then a dresser and a door for a closet, a door for an exit, and a door for a bathroom with a vanity in the corner.

She gave an elegant shrug, "The Crawford Estate. We're in my bedroom."

[Christian Ward]

Christian snorted as he rose off the bed. "No wonder you're miserable at my house," he commented as he walked around the room.

He turned back to Diana. "I have a feeling there's more to this process that you've kept from me. That you're keeping from me," he clarified.

[Diana Ward]

She scoffed, "I'm not miserable at your house." she said incredulous. She loved Christian's home, it was what a home was supposed to be. But at the same time it wasn't, not anymore. Diana had grown up in a large estate. Too large for a lonely little girl who spent most of her childhood by herself and in the presence of impersonal servants. She used to think that in Christian's home it was impossible to avoid a person because it was so small (in comparison), yet she had learned otherwise in the past few weeks.

"I hated it here." she said too strongly for it to be anything but the truth.

She sighed when he looked back at her, "We're not just at my estate. We're in my mind. My subconscious. The tea knocked us both out, and Derek linked us." She grit her teeth in a tight smile, "Now we get to traipse through my deepest and darkest and find the bastard that's pulling my puppet strings."

[Christian Ward]

She might not have been miserable at his house, but she was clearly unhappy with his company. It was understandable; Christian was not the easiest person to get along with. He demanded things be done his way and was not often gentle when there was a disagreement. Plus, he had to keep reminding himself, he had been a different person. Someone neither he nor Diana recognized in his true, current self. If the bastard were more compassionate he would have recognized how difficult this was for her.

He did recognize, however, that Diana was not thriving at his home. Between Derek's accusations and Dr Hanley's concerns, Christian felt the pressure to do something more. Saving her life would be the first thing on the agenda.

He listened as Diana explained what they were to do. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Deepest and darkest, eh?" Christian was about to comment on spying on her more dirty moments but remembered his truth-compelled confession that she had only ever been with Christian. The opportunity to evaluate one's self as an outsider was intriguing but he didn't want to see the connection between Diana and his other self. His feelings were complex enough as it were.

"Well it looks as though we're the only ones here." He raised his arms demonstratively. "So let's get on with it."

[Diana Ward]

She was mildly surprised he didn't put up a fight about being unconscious. She was sure he would have been angry which is why she didn't tell him.

"Well that's up to Derek, he's supposed to guide us from the other side, but I don't know why he brought us here-"

The door opened suddenly and a little girl no more than six or seven was dragged into the room. She was perfect. Large brown eyes, pert little nose, and naturally pouty lips currently twisted into an expression of agony. The hands that put her there soon disappeared as the door was shut and locked. She banged on the door and began to cry for "mama".

Diana watched with a strange fascination at seeing her younger self. She didn't remember the scene until now, though apparently it had haunted her in her dreams.

[Christian Ward]

Christian had plans to become irate about the secret she and Burke had kept from him when plotting this adventure, but there was no point in it at the moment. He viewed this as a job and it took precedence over most anything else. There would be plenty of angry cursing later.

His attention was turned toward the door and Christian instinctively moved for his wand but when he saw a tiny Diana he stilled. She didn't appear to be able to see either of them as the child cried for her mother, but Christian didn't move nonetheless. He watched her with a natural concern that an adult had when a child was upset.

[Diana Ward]

Diana scoffed, then curled her lip as the memory finally came to her.

"Way to just jump right in Burke." she sighed, "He's not here. Next." she was talking to the air as though Derek could hear her. The little girl couldn't hear her as she continued to cry for her mother.

It irritated Diana, the adult Diana, she hated the child's vulnerability, but only because it was her own. When she saw Christian's concern she almost snarled, "Let's get one thing straight, you're going to see a lot of sh*t Ward. I don't know half of what I've got percolating in this head of mine, but it's over and I've dealt with it. If I see one ounce of pity on your face I will slit my own wrists just to take you down understand?"

[Christian Ward]

Christian laughed darkly at Diana's threats. "Clearly you've dealt with it," he commented dryly. "So what is this, then? Your mother's death? Maybe Burke's decided to use this opportunity to fix whatever's broken in that sexy little head of yours."

[Diana Ward]

Diana's jaw clenched, Christian hit the nail on the head. Derek had explained to Diana that there was a reason the assassin had been able to infiltrate her mind in the first place, some weakness that allowed him to possess her. He had been surprised because the Diana that he knew had no weaknesses, she was a machine. But apparently some scars ran too deep, and the pains she believed she had dealt with she simply buried.

"You're not wrong..." Diana began then with an aggravated sigh she told Christian what Derek had told her.

"So that's it, I come to grips with all the patheticness that is my life and chase the assassin out of my subconscious. You become the anchor, although I have no idea how you do that, at the darkest point in my subconscious and he can't possess me anymore and kill both of us. Should be a piece of cake, except I don't care about this anymore so I don't know why we're here."

She looked back at the little girl who was crying for her mother.

"She died later that night. The servants, my father, they all mourned her. They planned her funeral, and it wasn't until one of the guests commented about my absence that my father or the servants even remembered I had been locked in my room. It was four days later." her voice took on a hollow tone, but she snapped to attention quickly enough and shrugged.

"I had food." she said nodding toward the pitiful box of candy, "And water from the sink in the bathroom. I had a bathroom. It wasn't a big deal."

[Christian Ward]

Christian looked at the grown Diana in disbelief. "What the f*ck, Diana?! Not a big deal? Your mum died and your dad locked you away and forgot about you. That seems like a pretty big f*cking deal to me! For f*ck's sake, what are you, like four?" He stared at the young Diana again. Christian had no idea what age she was, that sort of knowledge about children was outside of his wheelhouse. But he knew she was young enough.

As an adult, when Christian's father passed away it had been very difficult on him. He relied on his mother and his mother relied on him. And that was with plenty of forewarning that the senior Ward was not long for this earth. Diana could only view this scene now as "not a big deal" through the eyes of a damaged woman.

[Diana Ward]

"I was six." she said defensively, but it was a lame defense even to her ears. "And my father was furious when he found out. He didn't know. He assumed one of the servants had been taking care of me, but they had all been too distraught after my mother's death. I hardly even remember her." she said still trying to shake the emotional vulnerability.

Suddenly the child stopped screaming and turned to look at Diana, but the child's appearance had changed, there was a mixture of features and instead of Diana's brown eyes it was Christian's eyes that stared back at her. Diana's heart started to pound.

"A child always remember's a mother's love...and a parent's hardness."

Diana's eyes widened, "Alyx..." she rushed for the little girl, but she disappeared through the door in the next moment. Diana reached for the door handle that was locked and began banging on the door as her younger self had.