Heart's Captive (Christian)

[Diana Ward]

Diana didn't know what was worse, not remembering and hearing second hand, or remembering and having the person you love not remember.

"You wouldn't have to hear anything if you let me go either! You can just be blissfully ignorant forever if that's what you want. God! Do you think I'm happy about this? That I want to be stuck with a perpetually pissed off jack ass who broke my heart. None of this was supposed to f*cking happen!"

She was glued to her seat but she wanted desperately to run out of there, "But God, it must be so inconvenient for you..." she said her voice thick with bitterness and something that sounded suspiciously like tears, "To be stuck with the woman you don't remember as anything but a mediocre shag sixteen years ago." She laughed, but it was void of any real joy, "I wish you could take my memories too. Make me forget about you sixteen years ago, when you left me pregnant and no way to contact you, make me forget about the carriage that nearly killed me while I was searching for you, and forget about the fourteen years I spent thinking our daughter was dead. If I could forget the hell I have gone through the past two years just trying to survive, just trying to keep Alyx safe, but most of all I want to forget you. I want to forget I ever laid eyes on you. I want to forget how you made me think I could trust you because you wanted our daughter as much as I did. I want to forget how stupid I was in thinking that you ever loved me, as you f*cked me senseless while planning my death for money." finally she looked up at him with something almost close to hatred in her eyes, "Oh I'm sorry, tell me again how inconvenient my presence in your life has been."

[Christian Ward]

Christian's grip on the handle of the drying pan tightened as Diana went off on her diatribe. He couldn't apologize for things he had supposedly done - not anything beyond leaving her 16 years ago. He didn't remember any of their more recent times together. He didn't know his motives. He couldn't say for certain whether he hadn't been plotting to kill Diana the entire time. It wouldn't have been the first long con he'd done. But he also couldn't say that he didn't have the best intentions toward her, either.

Christian whirled around, throwing the frying pan against the wall in anger. "I'll f*cking take your God damned memories if it means you'll shut the f*ck up! Get the f*ck out of here, go to your f*cking room! I can't f*cking stand you anymore!"

[Diana Ward]

She didn't even flinch when he threw the frying pan, she was so angry and hurt. When he ordered her to leave she was relieved only for a second as it got her away from him, but did nothing but reestablish her status as a prisoner. At least as a prisoner it was honest. She knew exactly where she stood with him. It was easy to be nothing to him, it didn't hurt as badly as believing she meant something only to have him prove her wrong.

As expected she slammed the door shut which echoed throughout the house.

She reached for the picture she had of the two of them on the cruise, the one she lovingly held late at night, and ripped it into shreds. She wanted to cause more destruction more chaos, but it wouldn't erase the ache in her heart.

She hadn't meant to throw his past misdeeds in his face, particularly since he couldn't remember them, but they haunted her now as she spent time in their home, who was the real Christian? Did he ever really love her? Was it all a con?

She pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes to prevent herself from crying, but the choked tears came anyway. Damn her hormones. Damn her heart. Damn Christian ward.

She curled up on the bed, but not before repairing the picture. She cried then when she saw that its occupants had fled once she destroyed the photo.

"Come back...please come back..." she begged burying her face in the pillow.

[Christian Ward]

Christian's rage persisted after Diana left and by the time he had tired himself out the kitchen looked as though a tornado had come through. It didn't make Christian feel any better though. He left the house for a bar, needing a drink but also needing to be away from Diana.

Several hours later he came home drunk, dropped a box of food he'd ordered to go in front of Diana's door, then went to his bedroom. He shut the door, fell onto his bed, and managed to kick off one shoe before passing out.