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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 13, 2016 19:44:00 GMT -5
The corners of Lyra's mouth twitched upward slightly as Samantha agreed to Julian's blame in her situation. It wasn't enough to bring her out of her mood of course, but it was nice to feel something in addition to the self-loathing that had overtaken her.
She gave a false smile at Samantha's compliment and waited until the girl had left before sighing heavily and falling backwards onto the bed. She stared at the ceiling, awaiting the next man who's live she was about to ruin.
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 13, 2016 19:50:25 GMT -5
It was a few more minutes before Julian found her.
"Well, for the girl of the hour you certainly don't appear to be having the time of your life." he said entering the room fully.
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 13, 2016 20:06:07 GMT -5
She could hear his footsteps outside the door and Lyra sighed heavily. Here we go again, she thought. As Julian came into the room she propped herself up on her forearms to look at him. Lord have mercy, every time she saw him he seemed to get more handsome. Clearly this was God's way of punishing her for all her wrongdoings; dangling Julian in front of her like a piece of meat while she destroyed any hope of a relationship with him and simultaneously drove a wedge into his friendship with Mason.
"What did Nicolas tell you?" It was a fruitless endeavor that would only benefit herself but perhaps Nicolas had given him some clue as to why she was waiting for him here.
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 13, 2016 20:21:46 GMT -5
Julian frowned not understanding her, "Mostly berated me for holing myself away at the estate for so long." he smiled.
"Guess I owe you for luring me out."
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 13, 2016 20:26:30 GMT -5
"I wouldn't say that," she said as she slid off the bed and walked over to him. "Julian I need to tell you something and I understand that you'll be mad at me but please only be mad at me, okay?" She looked up at him, they were dangerously close.
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 13, 2016 20:36:54 GMT -5
Julian noticed their proximity before he noticed her words. It wasn't that he didn't want to listen to her, or take care of whatever problems she had, but he had wanted her for so very long and denied himself, he didn't have it in him to deny himself these days.
"Tell me later." he said quickly before bringing her flush against him and taking her mouth in a hungry kiss.
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 13, 2016 20:55:44 GMT -5
His lips on hers effectively cleared her mind and she forgot all about her confessions for a brief moment. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. It felt so right being with him, it was hard to remember that it was actually wrong. But she did remember and soon enough she was pushing away from him.
"Dammit Julian, stop. I have a boyfriend!" That was not the way she had intended to tell him but she was flustered and angry at herself for submitting to him yet again. And she was angry at him for demanding to have her in the first place, especially since Lyra knew all too well that he would once again refuse to be with her beyond having sex.
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 13, 2016 21:01:11 GMT -5
Lyra had to push at him a few times before he realized she wasn't responding. He let her go, but her words made him laugh incredulously, "What?"
She couldn't possibly have a boyfriend? She loved him. She was just with him. He had come to her bloody coming out party because she had demanded rather provocatively, that he show up. So she couldn't have a boyfriend.
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 13, 2016 21:10:19 GMT -5
She didn't have a boyfriend, not anymore. But that fact hadn't quite sunken in yet. She took a few deep breaths to try to control herself and spoke more purposefully this time.
"I've been seeing someone for a while now. Since just after the Southerland's Ball actually. I didn't mean for us to happen," she said gesturing between herself and Julian. "I just can't stop myself when I'm around you. I knew I shouldn't have gone to see you but Nicolas said you upset and I couldn't handle it."
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 13, 2016 21:17:37 GMT -5
Julian was hurt, not because she had a boyfriend, although he was plenty angry at himself for encouraging such a thing, but because once again he had messed her life up.
"Who?" he asked. Just as Mason had asked, Julian wanted to know who was good enough to earn Lyra's affection, particularly so soon after their brief affair.
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 13, 2016 21:32:06 GMT -5
Again with the preamble. She had learned from the disaster with Mason to not draw it out as much, but it still needed to be clarified before she answered his question. "I didn't mean for it to happen and he had no idea that there was anything between you and me. I knew that you two knew each other but I didn't realize how close you were until it had gotten serious. But he didn't know anything about us until tonight, Julian. I swear."
She took a moment to look at him, to apologize with her eyes before saying, "Mason Marlowe."
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 13, 2016 21:38:12 GMT -5
"Oh God."
Not only had he dragged Lyra through his issues and virtually discarded her (for her own good), now he had slept with his best mate's girlfriend. The one Mason had gone on and on about when he arrived.
Julian needed to sit down. He had royally screwed things up.
"Does he know?"
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 13, 2016 21:55:15 GMT -5
His question triggered the tears. She was honestly surprised they hadn't come earlier, but they were certainly here now. She wiped them off her face as she spoke but they kept coming.
"I meant to tell him after we..." She couldn't say it, but he knew she was talking about their encounter when she had cheated on Mason. "But things kept coming up and I couldn't tell him. Until tonight. We broke up tonight, while everyone else was in the gardens."
"I'm so sorry, Julian, I didn't mean to ruin your life like this."
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 13, 2016 22:01:28 GMT -5
As soon as he asked whether or not Mason knew, he thought that it was impossible, he had just talked with the man. But Lyra proved him wrong. Apparently she had just spoke with Mason before she called him in to let him know the truth.
Julian's guilt tripled. All the previous times Lyra had seen 'Noble Julian'appear it was nothing compared to the expression he wore now.
He ran both hands through his hair and hid his face. How was he going to fix all this?
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 14, 2016 0:08:44 GMT -5
She wiped at the tears that continued to run down her cheeks. Seeing Julian in such misery was worse than anything she had experienced before. It was as if every other heartbreak she had ever endured in her young life was pushed together and magnified ten fold. She could literally feel her chest tighten as Julian buried his head in his hands.
"I tried to replace you Julian, but it didn't work. It didn't change how I feel about you." She paused to catch her breath and wipe more tears from her eyes. "After that man tried to kidnap me I thought about running away so neither of you would have to find out how horrible I am, but I was too much of a coward for even that." Lyra assumed Samantha or Nicolas had told Julian about the attempted abduction, though it would have been strange for him to not reach out to Lyra had he known. She was just so used to hurting at this point that it didn't register with her that even Noble Julian couldn't have stayed away from her had he known.
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 14, 2016 0:11:30 GMT -5
"Kidnap you? Run away? What the bloody hell are you talking about?"
He was still trying to piece together how everything had gone wrong and how it was all his fault, but her words pierced his guilt induced haze. Alarm shot through him at the prospect of harm actually coming to her or her leaving because of him.
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 14, 2016 0:25:57 GMT -5
Clearly Lyra had been wrong and she instantly regretted saying anything. That was twice tonight she'd let it slip, as if her subconscious was forcing her to talk about the event and deal with it instead of pretending it hadn't happened. But she couldn't talk about it. She was still frightened by it and there were more pressing matters to attend to like fixing Julian and Mason's friendship.
Lyra stared at him, her eyes wide like a deer in headlamps. She didn't know what to say so she said nothing as tears cascaded down her face.
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 14, 2016 0:30:44 GMT -5
"Come here." he relented and opened his arms to her.
She had played her part in this that was true, but it was his own stubbornness, his own weakness that had put them all in this position. He would have to figure out how to fix things. He couldn't just hide at his estate anymore and worry about the past when the present was so broken.
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Post by Lyra Newbury on Nov 14, 2016 0:41:14 GMT -5
Her lip quivered as she debating taking his offer. She would cause more pain by accepting his comfort but the pain was overwhelming her. God, she was weak.
The tears came out more forcefully as fell into his arms and buried her face in his chest. "I'm so sorry, Julian," she cried into his jacket. "I've ruined everything and I can't seem to stop hurting you. What's wrong with me?"
Her body shook with the force of her tears and she clung to him as if only his touch could save her from herself.
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Post by Julian Faust on Nov 14, 2016 0:46:40 GMT -5
Julian just held her and let her cry, his hold was tight and secure.
"This isn't your fault love." he sighed, part of it was sure, but a bigger part was his.
"It's mine. I'm a damned fool it seems." he confessed to her.
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