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Post by Cameron Wilder on Sept 25, 2016 23:39:12 GMT -5
It wasn't unusual for Cameron to come home late, considering his job as a bartender. He'd usually come home between midnight and 2 AM, depending on the shift he worked, then sleep until noon, and spend his day from noon until 5 or 6 helping Janet around the house and working on his music, whatever form that took. Sometimes, it was practicing. Usually, it was auditioning for literally anything he could get his hands on with either piano, drums, or guitar.
Tonight was different. He'd come home at close to midnight, while Janet was already asleep, and he'd been wide awake. A shower hadn't helped, and laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, didn't help either. In fact, it only made things worse.
He hadn't felt this manic since he'd been a child, unable to calm himself or slow his thoughts, though he still knew that music settled him and helped him think. So it was that at 3 AM, he was playing the grand piano in the living room as quietly as he could, but he had to. His fingers itched, his mind raced, and he was so worked up that he didn't even notice Janet slip into the room.
(I'm sorry I'm giving you new threads but I have muse).
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Post by Janet Wilder on Sept 27, 2016 21:56:16 GMT -5
Janet was worried about Cameron, but she would never let him know it. He was, as always, fiercely independent, and would never admit that he was feeling lost. But she knew he was, ever since he had come back home to live with her.
She was pretty sure he would find his way eventually, and she was heartened to see that at least part of his path to finding himself was to work on his music. But she also knew that something was missing for him, that he didn't seem to quite know what to do with himself. It was a musician's lot in life to be unsure about what to do with their gift... Janet knew that all too well. But she also knew that Cameron's talent was far superior to her own. He could be truly great, if only he could figure out what to do with it.
And of course, there was the little matter of his social life. He seemed to be spending all of his time either with her, or working at the seedy little bar that he wouldn't let her go to. As far as she knew, he wasn't seeing anyone since breaking up with some girl named Brenda at the end of the school year. Janet, of course, couldn't help but wonder what had become of the sweet, shy brunette he had brought to meet her one day. Savannah Lyons was a lovely girl, and both Nina and Janet had agreed that the two seemed more in tune than either of them had realized.
Janet hadn't been too concerned when Cameron didn't come home before midnight. She didn't even wait up for him, but had gone to bed somewhat early, silently hoping that he was out on a date.
But when she heard the piano booming at 3 am, it took several minutes to even process what was happening. She sat straight up in bed, staring wildly around the room, until she finally recognized the familiar style of Cameron's playing. People who didn't know music didn't know that a person could have a style on an instrument, but Janet could hear it instantly. Not only did she recognized his style, she also could sense his mood without even seeing him.
This was not good. She stepped into her slippers, pulled on a robe, and went downstairs to see what was going on. She didn't turn on the lights as she came in, but stood quietly in the doorway for a moment, watching him play.
"Cam?" she said as he came to a pause in his playing. "What's wrong?"
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Post by Cameron Wilder on Sept 30, 2016 15:10:41 GMT -5
Cameron started a little when he heard his mother call his name, turning to look at her over his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he said instantly, knowing he'd woken her. "I was trying to be quiet." It was hard on an instrument that was impossible to play quietly though, especially when he needed the music to quiet his mind. He should have just picked up the guitar.
He couldn't answer her question, either. He didn't know what was wrong, but since seeing Savannah, he'd been restless and manic. It was like he'd suddenly realized that he had no direction in his life, that he wasn't going anywhere, that no one was interested in his music. The things he could do well didn't matter, and the thought was crushing him, making it hard to breathe, hard to think straight. He didn't belong anywhere.
Even now, the echoes of the piano quieted, he couldn't focus on one thought and he felt the need to move and do itching below his skin.
"I want to quit Stu's."
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Post by Janet Wilder on Oct 7, 2016 17:50:10 GMT -5
While it was true that a mother always knew her child, there were times when Cameron perplexed Janet. He had a restlessness, an uncertainty, that lay beneath his usually confident exterior. In fact, Janet was rather convinced that the confidence was more of an act and that it was this restless nature that really defined Cameron. As a child, it had been difficult at times to keep him calm and focused, and even now, she could still see that side of him. He was so, so talented—more than she’d ever been—but she knew that he couldn’t see it, and even though music was clearly meant to be his life, he had no direction.
Of course, most young people went through this at one time or another. The finding themselves, the experimenting, the working crappy jobs while they tried to decide what to do with their lives. But for much of his life, Cameron had seemed to treat music almost as a secret, and now Janet wasn’t sure he knew how to bring it out in the open.
“Well, you know you won’t get any argument from me,” Janet said, sitting on the edge of the piano bench. “But is there a reason why? Did something happen?”
She knew about the audition he’d had with some band recently, and she was a little worried that the failure of that audition might have caused his confidence to fail.
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Post by Cameron Wilder on Oct 16, 2016 20:24:58 GMT -5
Cameron knew Janet hadn't been overly fond of his job at the bar anyway, but had agreed to let him work there as long as he focused on his music, too. She seemed confident that his career was going to be in music, and Cameron at least wanted that future for himself. Lately, though, he was wondering if he wasn't good enough. He never expected to be chosen for the Wrackspurts, in all honesty. He just wanted to get his face out there, and to say that at least he tried. But he wasn't the strongest with bass, and it wasn't what he wanted to play, anyway.
Maybe he could get in with that other guy who'd been there with Ilsa. He recognized her from his year at Hogwarts, and it wouldn't hurt to at least reach out, would it?
The problem was, if he wasn't any good, no one was going to want him, whether or not they were as famous as the Wrackspurts.
"Nothing happened," he started slowly, hands hovering over the piano keys and fingers flexing. "And I think that's the problem. Nothing's happening."
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Post by Janet Wilder on Apr 23, 2017 20:35:27 GMT -5
Janet smiled sadly. She understood Cameron's frustration all too well. Music was a fickle lover, and she too had been burned by it. When she got pregnant with Cameron, she'd had to leave her position with the orchestra, and it had taken her years of teaching piano lessons to finally get back into a good place with music. Not that she regretted it for a second. Cameron would always be the best thing she had ever accomplished in her life. He had taken over music as the love of her life and she never looked back for a second.
Still, she understood the position Cameron was in. She had always encouraged him to pursue his musical gifts, which far outstripped hers. But it was a hard business to break into, even for someone as talented as Cameron was. It also didn't help that Cameron lacked focus in his music. He seemed to like all instruments, and while he did somewhat favor the guitar, she knew he had auditioned for that band with the bass. And Janet secretly hoped he would stick with piano. When he played the piano, Janet was sure she knew what heaven sounded like.
"I know, honey. Believe me, I know. The music business can be a real b*tch sometimes. And you didn't get the spot with that one band, but maybe that just means it wasn't the right thing for you. But if nothing's happening, maybe you need to find ways to make them happen. Maybe you could try writing your own songs... so you have something to offer."
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Post by Cameron Wilder on Apr 30, 2017 14:51:38 GMT -5
"I have my own songs," Cameron countered, though he didn't think this meant he had anything to offer, necessarily. "The problem is that they don't have words, and no one's interested in anything classical. They want a message, and I don't... I don't have anything worth saying."
But Savannah did. Savannah had everything to say, and she knew how to say in a way that sounded more like music to Cameron than anything he had ever played. The feeling of understanding this felt like itching just under his skin, the need to make something that he didn't know how to make.
He'd never expected to get the job with the Wrackspurts, in all honestly. He'd barely picked up a base before that, and a lot of it was his own arrogance thinking he could impress someone anyway. And the band's manager hadn't even looked twice at him. So what did he have to offer?
He sighed. "How did you do it? How did you get anyone to listen?"
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