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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 20:38:36 GMT -5
"But you were scared," Geoffrey said, filling in the words she refused to speak.
He sighed, and his eyes grew sad. He knew that was why she stayed away. Even though he knew that she would never truly believe that he would hurt her if he was in his right mind, the Imperius Curse made people nervous. And rightfully so. How could she trust that it was really removed? How could he expect her to get past that fear right away?
"It's OK. I don't blame you for bringing him. I just wish... I don't know. I don't think we're alike at all. He's everything I'm not. I just wish he wouldn't seem so arrogant about it. But Riley, I mean it. I want you to be happy, and if he can do that for you, then I'm happy for you. I know he loves you, so he can't be that bad."
He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly for a moment. "The whole thing... it was so scary. One minute I was talking to this guy about his connection to the floo network and the next.... I felt like a prisoner in my own mind. I even passed Alison in the hall and totally blew her off... I haven't seen her since. She's been trying to visit, but I turned her away."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 23:45:05 GMT -5
Riley sighed. "Not of you, Geoff. I was never scared of you, and deep down, I always knew it wasn't really you. I was scared that maybe they missed the curse, or that someone had gotten to you again. They tried to give me a sleeping potion or a peace potion or something that day, and I refused to take it because I thought it might be poisoned. And then the dreams..." she pressed the heel of her palm to her eye.
She could have defended how Roland acted to Geoffrey, but he didn't want to hear it. So she just assured him that Roland made her happy, and it was enough for both of them.
"You should have let Alison in. I bet she's really worried about you. And the guy who did this to you... he's gone now. Everything's going to be okay."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 29, 2009 0:09:20 GMT -5
Geoffrey sighed. "I miss her," he confessed. "I just.... I didn't want her to see me like this. I'm better... now that you're here. But I've been pretty messed up. And I'm so tired, Riley. I'm just afraid to close my eyes..."
Despite this statement, he squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his head back against the pillow. He'd never felt so helpless, so lost before. "They're sending a counselor in to talk to me later, I think."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 29, 2009 0:20:40 GMT -5
Riley nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. "I know. I know exactly what it's like." Geoffrey had held her through a couple of the nightmares where she woke up crying, convinced that it was real. Part of that was, in thanks, to Brian convincing her that she really killed the people she dreamed about. "I know what the dreams are like to... it's like you're forced to watch, unable to move or help or anything, and everything is so much more vivid than how it really happened... I know. But it's over now and you're dreams can stop and you can sleep."
She reached for his hand as he leaned back. "Do you want to talk to the counselor? Maybe you need to. Merlin knows, I probably should. You know, I wake up sometimes here, and I can see Roland, and I still think I'm imagining it. I really think I'm going crazy. Maybe we can take the trip together, hm?"
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 29, 2009 0:34:24 GMT -5
"These are worse," he said with a sigh. "I'm not just watching you die... I'm... I'm making it happen. But I can see it happening, like a person who looks and sounds like me is doing it and I'm watching from the outside, like a horrible movie that I can't stop. And you're screaming and begging me to stop..."
His voice became thick and he choked back tears. He hated this. He almost wished someone would just use a memory charm on him to make him forget that this ever happened. He wouldn't miss these memories. He just wanted them to go away, to never have existed. "Sometimes Roland is in the dreams, too. He comes in too late to save you and he's so angry..."
He turned away from her then, wiping away the tears with the palms of his hands. "Maybe I should see the counselor."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 29, 2009 12:05:27 GMT -5
"Shh," Riley said, her heart breaking for him again. She'd give anything to take this away from him... the experience, the memories, the pain, the dreams. Geoffrey never deserved any of it. That was the problem with war... all the wrong people got caught up in it. "It's okay now, I promise."
When he relented and said that he should see the counselor, she gave his hand a squeeze. Personally, she thought it was a good idea. He needed someone objective to talk to, but she could also see where he wouldn't like the idea. She wanted to offer to stay while he spoke with the counselor, but she might influence the effectiveness of the visit. "I'll come see you when they leave, if you want. And you can tell me how ridiculous it was." she smiled as she said this.
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 29, 2009 14:15:56 GMT -5
Geoffrey sighed. He hated feeling so helpless, and he hated having Riley look at him like that. But then, he had always been there for her when she needed him, so it was a big comfort to have her here with him now. But he would never tell her just how desperately he had needed her during the days immediately after the attack.
"Thanks. I'd like that," he said.
It wasn't entirely true. He didn't want to see a couselor, and there was nothing about the idea that appealed to him. But he had tried to convince Christine to see the school counselor after the Hogsmeade attack, so if he turned away a similar suggestion, he would look like a hypocrite. And he was smart enough to recognize that he simply couldn't do this for himself anymore.
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 31, 2009 1:53:07 GMT -5
Riley nodded. "Perfect, then. We'll laugh at all the silly things she says that we all know won't help. Maybe you could answer her questions with completely ridiculous answers. I've actually done that to a counselor before."
It was her third year in school, and one of the worst for her acting out phases, and the idea of the counselor alone was insulting to her. Now she sort of wished they would force her to talk to someone, too, because she was never going to ask on her own.
"But listen... it's all over and we're all going to be okay from here. Thank you... for everything you've done for me during this."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Aug 4, 2009 22:51:42 GMT -5
Geoffrey laughed lightly. "Yeah, maybe I'll do that," he said. But he knew he probably wouldn't. After all, the counselor would never be able to help him if he did that, and he was smart enough to know that he could not do this on his own. He was a wreck, and he needed help. "I actually might know someone who's a counselor... my aunt Sheryl's niece or something. I don't think you ever met her... I've only met her once or twice. Maybe I'll try talking to her."
He sighed and shook his head. "You know you don't ever have to thank me for helping you. I'd do anything for you, Riley, you know that. I just wish I'd done a better job... been more careful."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 13, 2009 12:32:50 GMT -5
"Maybe it'll be good for you, Geoff. Talking to someone you barely know, I mean. Someone who you don't have to try and be strong for."
Her eyes welled again when he apologized to her, and she shook her head. She should have come by sooner. She should have done anything to make this better for him. There were trained doctors that said he was okay... she should have trusted them. There were so many things she should have done as his best friend.
"I failed you, Geoff. Not the other way around. But we're going to be okay, and I'm here now."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Aug 13, 2009 15:45:54 GMT -5
"Maybe," Geoffrey said. Something had to help, and he still wasn't sure that just seeing Riley was going to be enough. There was a part of him that kept wondering when he was going to wake up and find out that she wasn't really there.
Really, if he thought about it, he should be angry with her. But he couldn't bring himself to be angry with her. He just loved her too much. That was the reason why he turned his anger on Roland... it was easier to blame Roland than to blame Riley.
"You didn't fail me. It wasn't your fault. It was just..." He sighed. "It doesn't matter now, OK? I'm just glad you're OK."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 13, 2009 17:37:28 GMT -5
Geoffrey should have known her well enough after all these years to know that she was going to blame herself for this no matter what he said.
He was angry about them keeping Roland a secret, he should have been angry about her staying away for so long... she hadn't done much of anything to be a friend to Geoffrey. In fact, it felt a lot like she was using him... fair weather friend was the term she knew for it. So she had failed him.
She sighed, dropping her eyes as the tears started anew. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Aug 13, 2009 18:00:12 GMT -5
Geoffrey sighed. He had done all of this for her, with no thoughts of what was in it for him. He never cared about any of that, and that was perhaps what made it even more tragic. He bent over backwards to help everyone else, so that he didn't even really know how to ask for help. It was a lucky thing, then, that Christine had been there with him all this time, because without her, he might have truly fallen apart. Whatever sanity he had left he owed to his sister.
"You don't have to make it up to me," he said. "Just... be safe. And be happy. And sometimes, you have to ditch him to hang out with me. That's all I want."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 13, 2009 18:36:11 GMT -5
Riley shook her head. She hated the way he said that, the sad look in his eyes, the fact that he was even still here.
"Please don't say it like that. It makes it sound like you're saying goodbye, and I can't say goodbye to you. I love you too much." Of course she meant it as a sister who loved her brother, but Geoffrey was a very important part of her life. She hoped, given her shortcomings recently, that she was still an important part of his life. "I'll leave him behind on occasion," she promised. "Nothing changes between us."
She desperately wanted to tell him about her dreams and what was going on with the baby... but it was all about her. Had her time with Roland made her forget how to care about other people?
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Aug 13, 2009 22:06:29 GMT -5
The thing was, if Geoffrey really examined it, their friendship had always been a little one-sided. Riley had been the one with the family problems, the nightmares, and the insecurity issues. What troubles had Geoffrey ever had in his life? His family was rich and loving and close and he had never wanted for anything. He had a loving, generous heart that was willing to share with her, to hold her up and support her through everything. And if he was really honest with himself, it did hurt just a little that, the one time he had really needed her, she had not been here for him.
But he still couldn't blame her for it. He had tried to kill her. Even if it hadn't really been him, even though he had been under the power of the Imperius Curse, that didn't change how frightening it must have been for her. She had been in shock; how could she come to him? Never mind that, had their situations been reversed, nothing would have kept him from her.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said softly. "But Roland gets to be the shoulder you lean on now. You say nothing's changing, but it is. He's the one you'll turn to when you have a nightmare, and he's the one who'll encourage you when you doubt yourself. I'm just.... I'm just the guy who'll take you out to lunch once in a while and listen to you talk about the annoying thing Roland did last week or the cute thing the baby did the other day."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 14, 2009 0:11:32 GMT -5
Riley was quiet for a moment, and she was trying really hard not to break down in sobs. Like he pointed out, she would go to Roland for that. Seeing him... She didn't think it was doing either of them any good. In fact, things felt worse.
She sighed, actually fighting very hard to keep the tears in. "I won't talk about Roland or the baby," she whispered, knowing that didn't make anything better. Somehow, she felt guilty for him trying to kill her. Granted, it wasn't as simple as that, and she knew she pretty much just lost her best friend. "I wanted to ask you to be the baby's godfather. But if that's too..." Too what? Weird? It shouldn't be weird. She wished he was happy for her, and not saying goodbye. "I understand."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Aug 14, 2009 10:24:03 GMT -5
Geoffrey was happy for her. Hell, he was even happy for Roland. They had found each other, and it didn't take a genius to see how good they were for each other and how happy they made each other. He just felt a little left out and hadn't meant to come off sounding bitter.
"Yes, you will," he said. "And it's OK. They're your life now, and I understand that. Maybe... maybe I'll be able to tell you things about Alison and our life together... that's if she ever speaks to me again after all of this."
He felt an ache in his heart as she asked him to be the baby's godfather. It was almost as if she expected him to say no. But how could he? He had been there with her when she found out she was pregnant. He was a part of that baby's life, no matter what.
He broke into a sad smile and nodded. "Of course I'll be the baby's godfather," he replied, pulling her into a hug.
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 14, 2009 13:59:51 GMT -5
Riley sighed. When did things get so messed up and complicated? She would tell him about the baby, especially because she wanted him to be a part of her child's life. Uncle Geoff... And if, in the line of duty, anything happened to her or Roland, it was Geoffrey that she wanted to take care of the baby. But she made a decision not to tell him anything about Roland, unless he asked. They didn't get along, and she wasn't going to force them to. She just wished that the two most important people in her life right now weren't tearing her in two, even if neither of them meant to or wanted to.
"Why won't you let Alison see you?" Riley asked quietly. "Maybe a stranger isn't who you need to talk to at all. I just want to see you get out of here. This place doesn't do a lot to really make you feel better emotionally."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Aug 15, 2009 1:56:47 GMT -5
Geoffrey sighed. He actually really wanted to see Alison, but he had been turning her away, because he couldn't bear to have her see him this way. He'd been hovering on the edge of sanity for days, and he had hardly slept... She probably would hardly recognize him.
"I don't want her to see me this way," he said. "I'm aware that I don't look very good right now, and I don't want to scare her off."
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Post by Riley Neves on Aug 15, 2009 10:10:21 GMT -5
"I don't think you would scare her off. She's probably worried sick about you," Riley said, pulling back from the hug and touching her hand to his cheek. This was all so hard on everyone... Merlin, when did things become easy again? She wanted those days back so badly.
"But I understand. On your own time." Maybe his unwillingness to see Alison would help him understand why it had taken her so long-- too long-- to come see him.
"Everything's going to be okay," she promised, leaning towards him and kissing his cheek.
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