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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 27, 2009 23:38:46 GMT -5
Roland sighed softly and nodded at Geoffrey. "I'll go talk to her," he said simply.
Like Riley, he was struck by the sight of Geoffrey. It had been just a little over a week ago that Geoffrey had stood in the safe house, yelling at him. But it looked as if it had been months.
There were so many consequences of this that he had never even thought of. But it was good for him to see that, to gain a better understanding of the effect that tragedy and and pain could have on a person. And seeing Geoffrey right now brought it all home to him.
He stepped forward. "Geoffrey.... I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now. But for what it's worth... I'm sorry about what happened. I'm sorry you were dragged into this... and I don't blame you."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 27, 2009 23:57:04 GMT -5
Geoffrey's eyes narrowed as he looked at Roland. "Oh, that's very generous of you," he said, his anger starting to rise. "You don't blame me. Why? Because I'm weak? I'm not big, strong, Roland, who goes out of his way to protect everyone and prove how tough and cool and perfect you are? How could I possibly fight the Imperius Curse? I'm not you. It's no wonder everyone worships you... you get to rise from the dead and everyone's just so happy you're back that they forget how much it hurt when you were gone. You don't get it, do you? This was your fault. Of course you don't blame me, because it's your fault. And you're probably going to stand there and agree with me and take all the burden on yourself, so that i can't even be mad at you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 28, 2009 1:00:52 GMT -5
Roland let out a sigh and moved further into the room. "You're right," he said. "It is my fault. I never said it wasn't. I was the one who messed up in the first place, to make all of this necessary. If I had done my job properly on my last mission, I'd have brought those guys in before they could have hurt anyone. I tried to play hero, just like you said, and bring them in myself instead of calling for backup. Instead, I let them get away, and because I saw their faces, they were never going to leave me alone. So I did something desperate to try and protect my family... I didn't have time to think it through, or I wouldn't have gone through with it. It never occurred to me that there would be so many people affected by it, or that it would go on so long. I thought I'd be back in a couple of weeks, before anyone even had a chance to miss me."
He sank down into a chair and rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. He had known that, when he got back, it wouldn't be all puppies and roses. There were consequences to every action, and despite what everyone thought, he had considered them when he planned it. He just thought that the benefit would outweigh the consequences. Now he wasn't so sure.
"What happened to you, Geoffrey, was horrible. Nobody blames you for what happened. The Imperius Curse.... it's Unforgivable for a reason. It takes away your free will, causes you to do things that are against the very fabric of a person's personality. I know you'd never hurt Riley. Everyone knows it. But the curse is so powerful.... even a fully trained auror can't always fight it. I don't even know if I could fight it, because I haven't tried since I passed my auror test. So, no, you're not weak. You're just human. As am I. I made a mistake with this plan, and in involving you in it."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 1:14:50 GMT -5
When Geoffrey's temper and tone rose, Riley put a hand to his chest to try and stop him. She didn't want the arguement, though she realized she shouldn't have brought Roland. She felt torn between them again. What was she supposed to do? She needed them both, and they would never see eye to eye on anything.
"Geoff, he didn't mean that," she started to say, but it was useless. And the terrible part was that he had a right to be angry with Roland. Hell, she should have been angry with him too for everything she had been put through.
But when Roland started to speak, she gave him a look that very plainly asked him to be quiet. Geoff wouldn't want to hear him agree. He wanted to be angry, and nothing undercut a good anger by the other person agreeing with you.
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 1:16:18 GMT -5
Geoffrey rolled his eyes. "See, there you go again. Being perfect. You say all the right things, you take on all the blame and all the burden. How can I stay mad at that? You can't even just let me be mad. How am I supposed to compete with you? You come back from the dead, everyone treats you like a hero, you get Riley, and I'm left here alone, trying to figure out what's a dream and what's reality. Do you know.... I almost spilled your little secret to Christine a few days ago. I passed it off as a dream, but I wish I hadn't. It was a mistake to keep your secret for you. If I had, maybe this wouldn't have happened."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 28, 2009 10:42:41 GMT -5
"You can be mad at me all you want," Roland replied. "I deserve it. When Riley brought you to see me, I should have ended it right then. There was too much at stake, and it was really only through sheer luck that everyone made it through in one piece. You were right, Geoff. I should have listened to you.... I shouldn't have risked Riley's life, or yours. If I had just called in the rest of my family for help... Maybe you wouldn't be in this situation. You deserve to be angry at me. You can even hit me, if you want."
He stood up and walked over to the bed, so that he was standing right over Geoffrey. "Go on, hit me. It'll make you feel better."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 11:07:54 GMT -5
Geoffrey groaned. "Oh, right... I'll probably just end up hurting my hand again, while you stand there looking utterly unfazed by it. No, thanks. I'd rather just lie here and build up a bitter resentment towards you."
He sighed and looked at Riley, realizing what it must be doing to her to have her best friend and her boyfriend fighting like this. He knew he should make a better effort to get along with Roland; after all, Roland seemed to be doing that already. It was just so infuriating how he could just stand there and not get mad. He knew Roland had a temper; he'd seen it. So how he was able to stay so calm right now was really frustrating for Geoffrey, who rarely got angry. And most of the times he had gotten angry, it was because of Roland.
In a terrible flash, Geoffrey realized the horrible truth: He actually wished Roland really had died. If he had, Geoffrey could admire the good qualities and forget about the bad ones. But alive... even the good qualities annoyed him, if only because he himself did not possess them. Geoffrey was jealous of Roland, not only because Riley loved him, but because he was everything Geoffrey had always wished he could be. And he hated him for it.
"Please just go."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 11:43:35 GMT -5
Riley rolled her eyes at Roland when he came forward, and she knew instantly that he wasn't going to hit Roland. In fact, Roland suggesting it would probably just piss Geoffrey off more. She sighed, but lowered her eyes and didn't try to get between them anymore. They were guys and probably wouldn't listen to her anyway.
She looked up again when Geoffrey said to leave, and she didn't know if that extended to her as well. "Geoff," she whispered, making no movement to move towards the door. She'd just come back to him, and she wasn't about to leave. Glancing at Roland, then back at Geoffrey, she said, "I'm not going anywhere for a little while."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 28, 2009 11:51:54 GMT -5
Roland sighed. He wasn't sure if there was anything he could do to keep Geoffrey from being angry with him.. And as he'd said himself, Geoffrey really had every right to be angry. Maybe it was best to just step aside and let Riley be there for her best friend right now.
"Riley, I'll just wait outside, OK?" he said. "And Geoffrey... I'm sorry."
Maybe those words--which he realized he hadn't actually said yet--were all Geoffrey really needed to hear from him.
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 12:37:48 GMT -5
Riley looked back to Roland, something troubled in her eyes. She was sorry that she brought him. Some part of her rationalized it past her out fear by saying that Geoffrey would be glad to see him, glad to know that he was back and it was over. Realistically, if she'd looked at it, she should have known bringing Roland here was a terrible idea.
She owed both of them an apology. "I might be a while, Roland. You can go back to the room if you want."
When he was gone, she turned back to Geoffrey and took his hand. "I'm sorry."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 12:45:32 GMT -5
Geoffrey breathed a sigh--it might have been one of relief--when Roland was gone. He couldn't help it, but the guy bugged him, and always had. It would have been so much easier if Roland was actually a jerk, but Geoff knew that he really wasn't. He also knew that Roland wasn't perfect... but sometimes it sure seemed that way.
"It's OK, Riley. I... I know I should try harder to get along with him. I just... I've been through hell, and I've missed you... and he's had you all along."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 13:01:10 GMT -5
"No, I'm sorry," Riley said. "I know you two don't exactly get along, and I shouldn't have brought him."
Her eyes were trained on the door for a moment, and she wanted to run to Roland. Had she just chosen Geoffrey over Roland? How was she supposed to balance a relationship between them if she had to keep choosing one of them over the other. What she didn't tell Geoffrey was that she wouldn't have come to see him yet if Roland hadn't come with her.
Merlin, she just wanted to cry. "I've been having nightmares about it, too. And not knowing what's real and what's a dream? I've been doing that for two months. I know what it's like, and I'm just sorry you had to go through it. Geoff, why are you still here? You should go home."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 13:22:18 GMT -5
"Yeah, but he was trying to be nice, and I just bit his head off. I should try harder to get along with him... I don't want you to feel like you're caught between us."
He sighed and squeezed her hand. "I'm still here because Dr. Kelly thinks I'm losing my mind. The nightmares, Riley... they're almost as bad as yours are. I kept dreaming that I killed you... and each dream gets worse and worse. They keep telling me the curse is passed, and that you're fine, but the dreams are so vivid..."
What he didn't say was that not seeing her for so long made him more and more convinced that the dreams were real. He didn't want her to feel bad about not coming sooner; he didn't even blame her for not coming, after what had happened. But just seeing her here, alive... it helped, more than anything else could have.
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 13:40:12 GMT -5
"I know they are," she told him about the dreams. She should know. She'd been dreaming about Roland dying, about Geoffrey killing her, about her own unborn baby being killed. And every one of them was more real and more terrifying than the last. So she understood what he was going through, and she hated herself for prolonging his torment.
She hugged him. "I'm here, Geoffrey, and I'm fine. No one was hurt, and we're all going to be fine. I'm not going anywhere. I want you to go home, though, okay? I want you to stop having the nightmares and go home. Remember how I would always come to you when I had those nightmares? What if we do that tonight?"
She wondered if Roland would be jealous... but he would understand that Geoffrey needed her, right?
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 13:58:56 GMT -5
Geoffrey shook his head. "No... no, it's OK. You should be with him. Didn't you tell me that he makes the nightmares go away?" Another thing that Roland could do that Geoffrey couldn't. "Besides, Christine's been sneaking in with me at night, and we stay up most of the nights talking. That way I don't sleep, and I don't have the nightmares."
It was actually the only time he ever felt normal. Christine kept his mind occupied, helped him feel like himself again. It was the lack of sleep, though, that was getting to him. He spent the days drifting into light sleep, then having nightmares and waking up again. He was supposed to take the dreamless sleep potion, but the couple of times he'd tried, it hadn't worked.
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 14:08:50 GMT -5
"Not always," Riley murmured, feeling like she should say it to make Geoffrey feel better. It wasn't entirely a lie, either. She still had nightmares when she was with Roland. Just not as often, and sometimes her dreams would just stop. She couldn't know for sure, but she suspected that Roland would wrap her up in his arms when he noticed her having a nightmare, and they would just end. She couldn't explain why, but Roland worked better than any sleeping potion ever had.
"Oh," she added when he mentioned Christine. At least he had someone with him, while she had been too scared to face him. "That's good," she said.
She forced a smile. "It's really good to see you."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 14:23:36 GMT -5
But Geoffrey knew the difference between her real smile and her forced smile. "Don't do that," he said softly. "Don't pretend to smile. This is me, remember? I may be... different... but I'm still me. We were always able to be honest with each other, and I don't want that to change, OK? Please."
He sighed and tried to sit up in the bed. "I promise I'll learn to get along with Roland, at least enough so that our every conversation isn't on the verge of breaking into a fist fight. He did do one thing right, you know. He was smart enough to fall in love with you."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 18:16:47 GMT -5
"I just feel like it's going to come down to choosing one of you, and I can't do that, Geoffrey. And I can't let either one of you be the one to ask me to do that."
She sighed, and looked up at him, her look soft. She wouldn't force the smiles if he could see through them so easily. "He makes me happy, Geoff. I don't want to lose that. But I won't lose you, either. Please don't make me have to."
She took her free hand and gently touched his cheek. The smile that graced her lips then was sad, and there were still unshed tears in her eyes. "It is really good to see you, though. I've missed you, and I'm sorry I was away so long."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 18:48:27 GMT -5
Geoffrey blinked back tears of his own. He was behaving like an arse... He was being the bad guy, while Roland was being perfect, saying what needed to be said, and knowing when to give them space.
"I'm sorry, Riley. I'm not asking you to choose between us. I wouldn't do that to you. If he makes you happy... then I'm happy. You deserve someone who can make you happy."
He sighed and looked at her again. Having Roland back in the land of the living was definitely having a positive effect on her. She looked better than she had in weeks.
"I've missed you, too. I've been so lonely without you. I've only seen my parents and Christine since it happened."
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Post by Riley Neves on Jul 28, 2009 19:49:24 GMT -5
"It's just strange. I always thought when I finally did fall for someone, he'd be a lot like you. Maybe that's the problem... you're too much alike." She shrugged though, because she didn't think that was the case. In her eyes, they were very different people. "I'll just be careful what situations I throw you both in together. It was a mistake to bring him today, but I... I'm sorry."
But I needed him. That was the unspoken part. But she would never say that to Geoffrey in a thousand years.
"I hear that you were being rather selective about your visitors. I want the dreams to go away for you, Geoff. You don't deserve them."
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