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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 16:10:55 GMT -5
He noticed everything about her. Every little habit, every little quirk, he took them in and filed them away in his mind. It didn't escape his notice that she got up and closed the bedroom door, or that she had to dig through her collection of tapes to find the right one. He didn't make a comment, just sat back and began to eat. But as the movie started up, he spent at least as much time watching her as he spent watching the movie.
"You know, when I first saw this film, I had this whole theory worked up about the idealism of love," he commented at one point. "I had sort of a cynical view of love and romance and I thought that the way he essentially tried to recreate Madeleine, unaware that she was never real in the first place, was Hitchcock's way of saying that everyone idealizes their perfect partner, and ignores what's really there."
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 16:17:59 GMT -5
"That's awfully pessimistic of you," Riley replied, finally starting to eat herself. "You might be right, though. I saw more of a theme of emotional imbalance, but... who knows?"
She took a couple of bites in silence, then set her fork on the edge of her plate and looked at Roland. "You said when you first saw it. Do you see something different out of it now?" She would be very curious to see if the pessimistic, emotionless Roland saw something different now, and what had changed his perception.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 16:29:10 GMT -5
Of course he saw it differently now. He was seeing it through the eyes of a man in love. He could identify with the obsessive nature of love, with the need to be close to her, and the insanity of being unable to have the one he wanted.
The difference was, in the movie, he did ignore the flesh and blood woman in front of him in favor of his idealized, obsessive love. Roland, however, didn't idealize Riley. He didn't want her to be perfect or to fit some perfect image. He just wanted her to be herself.
"Yes, I do see it differently," he said. "It's about the intensity of love and obsession and searching for the one thing that will make you happy, unaware of the fact that it's sitting right in front of you."
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 16:38:40 GMT -5
The irony of this, from Roland, was not lost on Riley. It made her mouth go dry, but then, she couldn't help but think that maybe Geoffrey was wrong. What if Roland didn't feel anything for her? She wished Geoffrey never told her his theory, because now she overanalyzed everything that Roland said or did.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, which she rarely did. She bit her lip all the time, but never let anyone see it. It meant uncertainty in body language, and she tried to be strong and unflappable.
"Maybe," was all she finally said, turning her attention back to the screen.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 16:55:38 GMT -5
Her reaction to his words did not escape him. He had her rattled, just a little. If he was smart, he would have pulled her to him and kissed her, like Ted had suggested. But he didn't, not yet. He wasn't sure she was ready for that. But he smiled softly for a moment, before turning back to watch the movie for a while.
He finished everything on his plate--the second time he had done so when she had cooked for him--and set the empty plate down on the table. During the movie, he shifted slightly, so that he was turned very slightly towards her. Their legs were almost touching.
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 17:03:50 GMT -5
It took her a little longer to finish her own meal, and she forced herself to watch the movie and not think about Roland and how close he was to her.
She reached forward, setting her plate on the table next to his and took a long drink from her glass of water.
She couldn't help but steal a glance at him as she sat back. "I don't think I told you, Roland," she said. "But thank you for trusting me. I don't think I've done much to have earned that from you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 17:09:35 GMT -5
He turned to look at her. "You don't think so?" he said with surprise. "On the contrary, I think you've proven yourself very trustworthy. You offered to cover for me in any questioning involving the guy I killed in the attack, among other things. I'm the one that I wouldn't blame you for not trusting me. I've been difficult, moody, argumentative, and unpredictable. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted nothing to do with me."
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 17:14:02 GMT -5
"Well, obviously I'm not in the 'want nothing to do with you' phase," She said, and she finally smiled, looking at him with slightly narrowed eyes. "I have made you dinner twice now."
Not to mention what she was about to do for him. She actually rather liked Roland. She liked them as friends best, when they weren't fighting. They got on well.
"I think I'm getting some more pasta," she announced, changing the topic. "Do you want more?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 17:30:59 GMT -5
"And I'm trying very hard not to slip back into the arrogant, obnoxious prat phase," he said with a crooked grin. "I'm really glad you don't hate me. Merlin knows I'd deserve it."
He was seeing hope for them, where he hadn't before. Even on Christmas, after their kiss, he still hadn't been entirely sure that she didn't hate him. But now... she was warming to him. It gave him hope.
"No, thank you. I'm fine. But I could use some more water, if you don't mind." He held out his glass to her.
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 17:37:20 GMT -5
"Well, everyone else in the office at least liked you during that phase," she said, taking his glass, and then his plate as well, and she disappeared into the small kitchen. Deciding against the pasta (it had just been an excuse to change the subject anyway) she set both plates in the sink and refilled his water.
It dawned on her that maybe she should wash the plates while she was here, and she gave them a long, contemplative stare.
She promised relaxation tonight, so the dishes could honestly wait.
She returned to the man on the couch that she desperately wished would kiss her and handed him the water before taking her spot on the sofa, pulling her legs up under her again, though her toes grazed his thigh.
It was best that he wasn't kissing her. He was upholding his promise not to... a promise that she never heard him go back on. Because while she wanted him to kiss her, she couldn't do that to Fabian, and Roland wasn't good for her anyway. She did genuinely like Fabian. But if she were strictly honest with herself...
No. She refused to admit it, and her eyes focused hard on the tv.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 17:49:30 GMT -5
If only he could have read her mind at that moment. If he knew what she was thinking, he would be kissing her right now. He was still considering it.
He glanced over at her. "You changed your mind," he commented. "I thought you were getting more. You don't need to hesitate on my account. I've never taken seconds of anything."
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 20:38:03 GMT -5
Riley shrugged. "It didn't look as good as it sounded, actually."
Inwardly, her train of thought continued. She blamed Geoffrey, mostly. She wouldn't be thinking about any of this if he hadn't say anything to her. She would have to pay him back for all of this.
She settled into the couch, her eyes on the TV, though she wasn't really paying attention to it.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 21:40:54 GMT -5
Roland was no longer even pretending to watch the movie. Of all the things that he should have been thinking about at that moment, his mind was still stuck on kissing her. She was sitting so close. All he had to do was lean in just a little more, put a hand on her cheek...
It's never a good time, so sometimes, you just have to do it.
It was practically a dare. Interesting that she considered it her motto.
He turned back to the movie for just a moment, trying in vain to focus on the movie. Then, he took a deep breath, and leaned a little closer to her. Just as he'd imagined, he placed a hand on her cheek and turned her face around to meet his. There was a sleepy, seductive look in his eyes as he looked at her for just a second. Then he pressed his lips against hers.
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 21:48:25 GMT -5
Riley's eyes met his, something unreadable in them as she knew they were seconds away from kissing. She should stop him. Put a hand on his chest and push him away, but she couldn't seem to do it. All thoughts of everything else fled her mind, and then their lips were pressed together, and it was impossible to think at all.
For a split second, she didn't do anything, barely even breathed, and then she put a hand on his chest, but she didn't push. He was clouding up her mind too much, enveloping every sense and it scared her, making her heart beat faster.
"Roland," she said his name against his lips, and it might have sounded like a warning. She wasn't sure.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 22:01:34 GMT -5
As she began to respond to his kiss, he let out a soft groan and pulled her up against his chest. The hand that had been on her cheek was now on the base of her neck, tangled in her hair, while the other was on her back.
Her lips were sweet, almost shy, which seemed almost impossible to imagine after their previous kiss in the study. But it was somehow more enticing. It seemed like a small surrender. He responded by increasing the pressure just a little more, making it a little more rough and urgent. But there was no way he was pulling away this time.
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 22:15:43 GMT -5
Like a schoolgirl kissing her crush, Riley felt a chill go up her spine. Her hand was now pressed between them, and only when she felt herself giving into the kind of kiss she really wanted that every reason why the shouldn't do this came rushing back to her, almost suffocating her.
And she did what she knew she should, but not what she wanted to. She pushed away, her eyes down.
"Stop," she said. "We can't do this."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 22:24:16 GMT -5
The kiss was just starting to get good, but he knew it would end eventually, and that she would be the one to pull away first. This time he let her. He already had the answer he was looking for.
Opening his eyes halfway, he tucked his finger under her chin and forced her to meet his intense, heavy-lidded gaze. "And why not?" he whispered. "Give me one good reason why not."
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 22:31:14 GMT -5
Riley was surprised when he pressed the matter. Usually, they just let go and pretend it never happened. So why was he pushing it now?
She didn't want to look at him, but he made it impossible not to. For maybe the 2nd time in the entire time she'd known him, it was hard to meet his gaze.
She was quick with her reasons though, and she rattled off more than one. "Because I'm dating Fabian. Kind of. I am. Because we don't get along. Because we work together. And because... You terrify me. And I'm not scared of anything."
She averted her gaze, refusing no matter what to look at him as she admitted that last part.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 27, 2009 22:39:06 GMT -5
He was undeterred. The first three were not reasons, they were excuses. No matter what she said, he was now certain that her feelings for Fabian didn't match what she was feeling for him. She had not kissed Fabian like that. And yes, they argued a lot, but it wasn't really true to say that they didn't get along. They'd been getting along perfectly well all night. And his parents had been working together when they fell in love, too.
But that last part... now that made him smile, ever so softly.
"You terrify me, too," he breathed, his voice so quiet she would have to strain to hear it. He followed up this statement with a gentle, short kiss.
"You know what I think?" he continued, his voice louder. "I think you're hiding behind Fabian. He's a nice guy, a good guy... he's safe. But does he make you feel the way I do? Does he kiss you like that?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Mar 27, 2009 22:46:59 GMT -5
Her jaw practically dropped when he accused her of hiding behind Fabian.
"I'm not hiding," she protested, fighting the second, delicious chill when he pressed another kiss to her lips.
"You're wrong. Fabian is nice and sweet and stable and he kisses me gently because he knows not to push. And how do you kiss me, Roland? Uninvited?"
He was working her up, and you could practically see the defenses being put into place.
"You're wrong," she said again.
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