|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 13:55:26 GMT -5
As far as Roland knew, Cyrus had yet to crawl out of his stupor and visit Lina at her brother's house. It seemed he was still wallowing in misery and allowing himself to give up on Lina and Mara. Frustrated, Roland decided once again that it was time to try and clean up his brother's mess. It seemed he was always doing this, and it worried him greatly. How was Cyrus to raise a child of his own, if he needed his big brother to clean up after him all the time?
He arrived at Lina's brother's house and knocked on the door. He hoped Lina would be the one to answer, because he didn't know her brother at all, and wasn't sure how the man would react to a stranger coming to visit his sister.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 14:01:22 GMT -5
As it turned out, Lina was home alone... well, she had Mara, but the conversation was a little lacking still. The girl was in her playpen while Lina sat on the couch, reading. When the knock came on the door, Lina looked up and she felt her stomach flip.
Everytime this happened, she had some wild hope that it was Cyrus. So far, she had been disappointed. But Jensen wasn't here, which meant it probaby wasn't a visitor for him. Unless it was her mother, there was a good chance it was Cyrus. "Who knows, Mara. Maybe he finally grew a pair."
She set her book down and went to the door, looking out the peephole. She sighed and frowned, and opened the door. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to see Roland. He just wasn't the Ferrera she wanted to see. "Hi Roland," she said, moving aside so he could come in.
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 14:08:29 GMT -5
Roland gave her a sad sort of smile as he stepped inside. He could see by the look on her face that she was losing hope that Cyrus was ever going to get his act together. He shared the same fear; it was, after all, the reason he'd come.
"Hi, Lina. I know I'm not the person you were hoping to see. I take it Cyrus hasn't come around just yet?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 14:12:34 GMT -5
"Nonsense, Roland. I'm always happy to see you," Lina said, closing the door behind him. She didn't answer his question. The fact that she was still here should have been his answer. Honestly, if Cyrus... she shook her head, clearing her thoughts.
"Have a seat. Mara's in the living room. Can I get you something to drink?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 14:18:24 GMT -5
"No, thank you, I'm fine," Roland answered. He moved to the sofa, peering over at Mara as he did. She seemed to be on the verge of nodding off; her little eyes were blinking heavily.
"I want you to know, I've been doing what I can to help. But my family is even more stubborn than I thought. I'm having a terrible time getting through to anyone."
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 14:21:56 GMT -5
Lina sighed and joined him on the opposite side of the couch. She watched him as he looked at Mara, and considered her words carefully.
"It's okay, Roland. I can't get through to Cyrus, and I'm the mother of his child. Anyway, don't worry about it." It was too subtle, she realized, and added, "Sometimes you hold on to something for so long, so desperately, that you don't realize the pain of holding on is worse than letting go... and you have to just... let go."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 14:31:44 GMT -5
Roland sighed and turned his gaze away from Mara to focus on Lina. He felt the same sense that he'd got from Cyrus--a sort of sad resignation. She was giving up on him. "I talked to Cyrus the other night," he said carefully. "He's falling apart. I know he misses you and Mara, but now he thinks you don't want him anymore. I've half a mind to drag him over here.... But that isn't what you want, is it? He has to do it himself."
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 14:37:23 GMT -5
"Do you know how many times he's been to see Mara? His own kid? Exactly zero, Roland. When I was pregnant, I couldn't help but think what a good father Cyrus would make. I was wrong about a lot of things where Cyrus is concerned. What kind of father doesn't even try to see his daughter?"
It was easier for Lina to be angry at Cyrus is she brought Mara into the picture. It was easier to hate him for not seeing Mara, then to realize that maybe he just didn't love Lina anymore.
She smiled a little sadly. "I appreciate your help, Roland, and I know this has been as frustrating for you as it's been for me. But it's over now. Let Cyrus do whatever he thinks he should. I'm done waiting for him."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 14:47:42 GMT -5
He didn't say anything for a minute. He knew she had a lot of frustration to get out of her system, and he was content to let her do so. Cyrus frustrated the hell out of him, too. Sometimes talking to him was like talking to a brick wall. Of course, Roland knew he could be the same way, especially when it came to taking advice from people.
"And if I had been Cyrus, showing up at the door with a ring in my hand, would you be so quick to give up?" he asked gently. "I know this whole thing has been painful for you, but I don't want you to give up just yet. Cyrus needs to see what his real priorities are."
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 14:57:06 GMT -5
"Yes," Lina answered defensively. "Maybe. I don't know. But you weren't Cyrus with a ring in your hand, were you? That's my point."
She sighed and put her head in her hands. Okay. Relax.
"I don't want to fight with you, Roland. I have a feeling you'd win. But he's had near two years to get his priorities straight... and everday he refuses to come here just shows me what those priorities are. He's a family man, Roland, like you. I'm just not part of that family. The more I think about it, the angrier I get, and I just don't understand why I didn't see it sooner. Please don't tell me he'll change. I can't keep being let down. I won't let him let Mara down."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 15:09:13 GMT -5
But Roland had no inclination to argue with her. In fact, as she got more and more worked up, his smile grew wider, to the point where he was nearly laughing at the end of her speech.
"Lina, I'm not about to argue with you," he said. "I get more than enough of that with my parents, Cyrus, and my new partner. I'm here to help you, that's all."
He chuckled again and leaned back against the arm of the sofa. "For what it's worth, I think you are doing the right thing. I think it was all too easy for him to just coast along, not making a commitment one way or the other, while you were still living with him. You need to make him fight for you. And I honestly believe that he will, soon enough. He just needs to hit rock bottom. All I am asking is that when he does come, you hear him out."
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 15:17:32 GMT -5
Lina's jaw set and she just watched Roland, quiet. No... if Cyrus did come, she wanted to make him hurt the way he had hurt her. She didn't even know at this point if she would let him past the door.
But Roland chukling the way he did set her on edge, and she wasn't sure why. Like he knew something she didn't... and honestly, there was nothing funny about this.
"I don't see what's so amusing about this, Roland."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 15:27:44 GMT -5
Roland was still amused, but he allowed his expression to become serious. "It isn't funny, you're right," he answered. "But I was just thinking how a little bit of our family seems to have rubbed off on you. You're becoming just as stubborn as the rest of us, and, quite honestly, I'm proud of you. You, out of anyone in this entire situation, have more right than anyone else to be stubborn. You're getting attacked from both sides, and it isn't fair. I'm not even going to tell you what my mother said when I tried to plead your case to her. But if you stand your ground, instead of letting yourself get walked on... You'll either get what you want, or you'll at least be able to respect yourself."
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 15:38:17 GMT -5
Lina sat back, still frowning, though it did mean a lot, surprisingly, to hear that Roland stood by her on this.
"Look... no offense to your mother, or mine for that matter, but..." She stopped as if the thought had only just occured to her, and she shook her head. "I don't care anymore. It's their granddaughter they're missing out on. I'm just kind of done, Roland. I've tried so hard to make everyone happy... and you know what? You're right. Cyrus does need to fight for me. For once, it's somebody's turn to try and make me happy. You and my brother are the only ones who get that, so thank you."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 15:53:54 GMT -5
Roland hesitated a moment. There was at least a few things he could tell Lina that were positive, but he wasn't sure if those would really help at this point. All she really needed at this point, was for Cyrus to come and tell her that he wanted to marry her. And Roland had no idea when--or if--that was going to happen.
"I got her to invite Mara for Christmas dinner," he said, his tone gentle. "But... well..." He trailed off. He couldn't bring himself to say, "not you."
Honestly, his mother invited Riley to join them at Christmas and not the mother of her only grandchild? He couldn't help but think she had her priorities all screwed up. Riley was not part of the family. Lina, whether everyone chose to acknowledge it or not, was.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 16:00:11 GMT -5
Lina almost laughed and nodded, though she was biting her lip.
"But not me," she finished for him, and then she smiled. "Part of me wants to say that I won't let her go over there without me, but you know what? If Cyrus shows up to pick her up... I hope your mother enjoys seeing her granddaughter." She gave Roland a look like she knew fully well Cyrus would never come over to take Mara away from Lina. "So she can blame her perfect son for not seeing her now, instead of me."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 16:17:05 GMT -5
Roland sighed. He could definitely see that she was slipping away. Cyrus was losing her, and there wasn't really anything he could do to talk her back from the edge. Only Cyrus could do that. And he was still, infuriatingly, sitting back and doing nothing at all.
"I have a confession to make," he said. "I already think of you as my sister. And even though I think you're doing the right thing by standing your ground... I'm also really sorry to see you giving up on him. I KNow... he's giving up too. I just... I really was looking forward to being best man at your wedding." He flashed her his crooked grin. "I'll still be there for you and Mara, whatever happens. I promise."
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 16:23:06 GMT -5
Lina looked away. Roland had chosen his words well and they had gotten to her. She took a deep breath and then got up from the couch.
"Are you sure I can't get you anything? I'm making tea for myself."
She moved into the kitchen and out of his view and leaned against the counter, closing her eyes. It was fine when she was being strong and she was the one who said it was over. It hurt like hell to hear someone else nearly confirm it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jan 19, 2009 16:32:53 GMT -5
Roland was not fooled by her sudden need to make tea. He didn't even bother to refuse, knowing that what she really needed was time to gather her emotions. He waited a moment, then stood, walking over to Mara's playpen to check on his niece. She was sleeping peacefully, unaware of the turmoil around her.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lina Harper on Jan 19, 2009 16:41:47 GMT -5
Lina came back after a few minutes with two cups of tea and offered him one.
"I remember when your mum... well, I remember her. I know she'd love Mara given the chance." Or having it forced on her, but Lina only shook her head and went back to the sofa.
"About that wedding you want to be best man at... you know it's not up to me. I mean, if you were trying to make me feel guilty about it... I want it too. But it's in Cyrus' hands."
|
|
