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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 29, 2008 0:53:55 GMT -5
There was something in her tone that caught his attention, and Roland looked up at her worriedly. She was sitting down again, and he slipped back down into his seat as well, so they would be on an equal level. He continued to hold Mara, reluctant to give her up for the time being.
"Of course," he said. "What is it?"
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 29, 2008 1:03:34 GMT -5
"I can't keep doing this, Roland." That was it, that was Lina's big secret, and it killed her.
"I love him, and I love Mara, both more than anything. And I try not to give up on people. I have faith that my father will talk to me again. I have faith that your parents will give in eventually. And I've always believed in Cy, but I firmly believe that none of it will happen, that no one will bend... unless he and I marry. And if he loves me as much as he says he does, why do you feel like you have to fight his battles, and why won't he marry me? I can wait... but I can't wait forever."
And look at her. She was a loving and devoted girlfriend and mother, she had made sacrifices so that Cyrus didn't have to... he was a fool to be willing to lose that.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 29, 2008 1:22:46 GMT -5
Roland looked at her sympathetically. "I don't blame you," he said. "Cyrus is stubborn... an unfortunate Ferrera family trait, I'm afraid. He wants our parents' approval. He has it set in his mind that he can't marry you if they won't be at the wedding."
He shifted slightly, adjusting Mara's position in his arms, then looked back up at Lina. "I really don't understand my parents' hesitation in accepting you or Mara. My only problem has been that you weren't married, and I never blamed you for that. I thought Cyrus was shirking his responsibility to you. So he thinks I'm angry with him, too... But then, that's nothing new. My fear is that they won't accept you until you're married... and he won't marry you unless they accept you. It's a vicious circle. But, Lina... He does love you. That much I know for certain."
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 29, 2008 1:33:04 GMT -5
Lina nodded, not looking at Roland. "I know he does. It's just... I've given up things for him, for him to be happy. It's what you do when you love someone. You give a little, each of you, to be happy together. I don't regret it or resent it... I just think it's his turn. I'm miserable, Roland, and you can't tell Cyrus that. But no matter what I do, I always come second to him. Second to his training, to his family, to Mara... I want to be enough for him. I just don't know how to do that. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm not doing anything wrong. All he has to do is ask, you know. I can't wait to marry him until things work out with his parents... I just need to know that eventually, he will want to marry me."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 29, 2008 1:47:56 GMT -5
Roland pressed his lips together tightly. This was dipping into emotional territory, where he was really not comfortable at all. He couldn't speak for Cyrus... he really only vaguely understood his younger brother. And when it came to relationships, Roland was really quite helpless. He'd dated back at Hogwarts, but he'd never fallen in love, and he'd long since given up on the idea of it ever happening. He was too rigid, too structured, too serious. Love was for the dreamers.
"Look, I'm.. I'm really the last person in the world to be qualified to give relationship advice," he said awkwardly. "I... I can try to talk to Cyrus, if you want... but we usually end up arguing. My brother and I have never been good at communicating with each other."
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 29, 2008 1:50:20 GMT -5
Lina laughed, covering up the disappointment in her eyes. "Yeah, well, I could say the same for me and Cy, lately. Anyway, I didn't really need any advice. I just needed to get it off my chest, and really, Roland... you are about the only person I can talk to who won't give me advice, so it was nice. Thank you."
She felt bad for unloading on him, but she did just have to say it. "I really do love Cyrus. Please don't think I don't."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 29, 2008 2:14:35 GMT -5
Roland didn't really see as how he'd done anything to help. But his self-appointed role as the family protector now had him feeling compelled to help somehow. Talking to Cyrus was an unpleasant prospect. But he had to know what he was doing to Lina. The way Roland saw it, his younger brother was in very great danger of losing two of the best things that had ever happened to him.
"I know," he said. "But I understand your frustration with him as well. He frustrates me, too... he always has. If it was me... well, you'd be married already. You would have been married before Mara was even born. Cyrus is just scared, that's all. He'll come around."
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 29, 2008 2:24:17 GMT -5
"Yeah, well, I'm scared too."
She sighed, letting that hang in the air for a while. She loved Cyrus deeply and knew that he loved her too. She was just having a hard time dealing with things, and lately, it felt like she was in this on her own.
"Mara's being so good," she said, changing the subject, though her tone was soft and half hearted. She liked Roland and didn't want to make him leave any earlier than he really had to.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 29, 2008 2:58:48 GMT -5
"She's very well-behaved," he said. "I can only assume she gets it from you, because Cyrus was never the best-behaved kid." He smiled slightly. "I really should get going. If we're going to start walking back to your place, we should go soon. Mara would probably like to get home and sleep in her own bed." He was reluctant to stop holding the baby, but he really did need to get to the Ministry soon. He was going to be late to the meeting.
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 29, 2008 3:12:34 GMT -5
Lina nodded, standing up again and taking the carrier into her hands.
"Do you want me to put her back in here, or are you two getting along well?" She asked him, smiling. She thought that he would make a good Godfather, but she had already asked Jensen... Cyrus, since he argued with Roland, hadn't minded when she suggested her own brother. Now, she felt almost bad about it.
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Mara Ferrera
Inactive Character
[M:10]
[ss:U2NG Classic]
Posts: 26
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Post by Mara Ferrera on Nov 29, 2008 17:39:20 GMT -5
Mara had listened carefully to yhe words formed in each of the man and woman's mouth. The words 'Sye- Russ' had come up a lot, and Mara didn't think they were said with much happiness. She remembered that Syeruss had also been mentioned at home, to the man she loved. Maybe he liked that sound, and Mara thought she should give it a try.
She opened her mouth, looking at the man with shaded eyes, like he had been doing. She let out a frusturated huff when it didn't work, and instead she left a small noise that sounded nothing like Syeruss. She closed her mouth and nuzzled deeper into the man's arms, pouting.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 30, 2008 1:32:45 GMT -5
Roland really didn't want to put her back in her carrier. As nervous as he'd been about holding the baby, now he couldn't even imagine putting her down. He felt a strong protective urge to hold her and shield her from the world. When she made a curious bubbling noise, he let out a low, rumbling laugh. "No, it's fine, I can hold onto her for now," he told Lina. "Let's just get started."
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 30, 2008 2:28:06 GMT -5
Lina nodded, moving past him so that she could open the door for him.
"She captures your heart pretty quickly, doesn't she?" Lina asked, happy with the way Roland seemed to be with her. "She's going to grow up leaving a trail of broken hearts."
It was obvious what Mara meant to Lina by the way she spoke about her. "She looks like me, but I have this suspicion she's going to act a lot like Cyrus. This well behaved business will only last for so long."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 30, 2008 3:07:35 GMT -5
"That she does," Roland said, stepping outside and shielding Mara's eyes against the sun. "She's got me for life, I think. And if you ask either of my brothers, they'll tell you that I'm a hard one to win over." It wasn't true, of course. But it was what people thought. So he let them. It was easier that way.
"Well, she'll be lucky if she ends up acting like either one of you," he said. "You're a good mother. And Cyrus... well, I guess people would say that he's a fun person. Not like me. Merlin forbid she ever acts like me." He looked at her with a wry half-grin.
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 30, 2008 3:13:43 GMT -5
"Oh, I don't know," Lina argued as they began walking towards the apartments. "You didn't give me too much of a hard time, though I think 'hard to win over' runs in your family." She was thinking of his parents, namely. "And you'll both probably hate me for pointing this out, but I see a lot of you in Cyrus. And... believe it or not, I see a lot of Cyrus in you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 30, 2008 3:22:06 GMT -5
Roland raised an eyebrow at her. "Now, I do believe that's the first time anyone's ever told me that," he said. "Cyrus and I are opposites, we always have been. He's the one that everyone wants to invite to their parties and have a laugh with. I'm the one who kills the fun."
That was the way it had always been; Cyrus was popular and beloved, by everyone but their father. Roland was... well, he was a stick in the mud. He'd accepted it long ago.
"What exactly do you see that's similar between us? Besides the famous Ferrera stubbornness."
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 30, 2008 3:29:58 GMT -5
"Oh, where do I start?" Lina said with a laugh. "Yes, you're both stubborn. And you're both awfully set in your ways. But you're also both kind, engaging... you when you want to be, anyway. Neither of you quite knows when your behavior isn't appropriate."
Lina glanced at him, hoping she didn't offend him. "What I mean is... he's fun when he should be serious sometimes, and you don't quite lighten up when you should. But you're both also loving, fiercely protective of the people you love, and you both... value... family." She said the last part slowly. It was true... look how determined Cyrus was that his family be at his wedding. But he didn't see her as family yet. Roland did.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 30, 2008 3:36:36 GMT -5
Roland was a little surprised at the accuracy of her evaluation of him. His own family didn't see that about him, with the possible exception of Amandine. "I don't fool you a bit, do I?" he said, looking over at her. "My brothers would probably describe me very differently. It's because I'm not good at showing them what they mean to me. And it's necessary to keep them at a distance, so I can keep them safe."
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Post by Lina Harper on Nov 30, 2008 3:48:19 GMT -5
"No one really fools me that much. It's the one skill I can really claim," Lina replied. "But I also see you differently than you see your brothers. And you have a soft spot for girls. I imagine Amandine would describe you the same way I do."
Lina looked at him and smiled. "Tell me I'm wrong. Anyway, I bet I see Cyrus a lot differently than you do, too, if I really went into it."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 30, 2008 13:30:46 GMT -5
"You're not wrong," Roland replied simply. "I'm just not used to people seeing me quite like that. I know I can be rather dry and humorless... I take everything too seriously. Cyrus never takes anything seriously. That's why we argue. But he's my little brother, and I'd lay my life down for him, if necessary."
He glanced down at Mara again, a small smile on his face. "I suppose I am partial to girls. I just feel like they need more protection. And that goes for you, too, Lina. I know you were training to be an auror, and you're not actually family yet... But I'd protect you just as fiercely as if you were. As for Mara, I'm not sure I'd feel differently about her if she were a boy."
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