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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 31, 2008 1:04:13 GMT -5
Diana hadn't cried. In nearly fourteen years Diana hadn't shed one tear. After losing Christian she cried so much. Then after finding out she was pregnant she cried nearly every night trying to get to sleep, wishing that somehow Christian would sneak back into her window and tell her that everything was okay.
But after she lost the baby she was simply too broken to produce anymore tears.
She had come close the other day in seeing Christian again after all these years, and then earlier that very day in learning what she had learned.
But now the moon was out, she was settled into her new apartment, since she had worked restlessly at it, trying to get the image of Christian perhaps killing her daughter out of her mind. But now those images were back with a vengeance.
Why? Why did it have to be him? Of all people...Why couldn't he just have disappeared and stayed disappeared...why did he have to turn out so horrible? Why did she still love him? How could she still love him? Still want him to climb through her window?
She turned down the lights and got in the bed and for hours did nothing but cry until her stomach churned, she wanted him so badly, she wanted him to tell her it was all a lie. That somewhere her daughter was perfectly safe, and that they were going to find her, and they would be fine, everyone would be safe, and happy once more.
She cried until she couldn't cry. She cried until she fell asleep...but she left her window open.
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Post by christianchristian on Oct 31, 2008 1:36:55 GMT -5
Christian slowly strolled through the dark streets of London. His black cloak wrapped tightly about his body to cover him closely to the shadows as he made his silent sojourn to Diana's apartment. It had taken a bit of interrogation but the silent corpse that now lay in the alley he left it in was very forthcoming when Christian put on the pressure. Approaching the Twilight Apartments, Christian crept around the outside until he found where Diana's window was. Only the second floor, so he was lucky in that aspect at least. Removing a good sized length of rope from inside his robes, he removed his wand from the pocket of his robes and a quick flick caused the rope to become animated.
His spell controlling the rope he directed it to Diana's open window and silently tied it around a small metal hinge. Stepping back a couple feet, he sprinted towards the wall and as his first foot touched the wall he jumped and grabbed a hold of the rope. Climbing into Diana's window he closed it behind him and quietly crept into her bedroom, seeing her silent, sleeping form he stood and stared almost lovingly at her. Placing his wand on the dresser, he slid the sleeves of his robe back, exposing his naked arms, not including the Dark Mark that was burned there. Kneeling next to her by the side of the bed, he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Diana, we need to talk my....love."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 31, 2008 1:43:59 GMT -5
Diana, under normal circumstances, would have been able to tell instantly that someone was in her apartment. She never slept fully, there was no peace in her dreams, but she had worn herself down to an exhaustive state.
That aside her body didn't sense a threat. At least her subconscious knew that Christian wasn't dangerous to her, despite what her mind said.
When he kissed her cheek he would find that it was still damp, but would have little time to dwell on it since that action did in fact wake her up and with a start as well, she smacked his face on accident as she was startled for him even being there and had sat up quickly.
Her hand stung for the blow as unplanned as it was but also it put her in the light and him still in the shadows of the room.
Her face was clearer now a small glance of terror before she gained her wits and started looking for her wand to defend herself, she didn't know who was in the room with her.
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Post by christianchristian on Oct 31, 2008 1:51:36 GMT -5
As Diana smacked him, he reeled back a little and watched as she scrambled for her wand. Standing up he casually walked over to the dresser, with a quick flick of his wand a small light exploded from the tip. "Will you stop it Diana, if I wanted to kill you well...you'd be dead already. We need to talk and yes it's that important." Proceeding to turn on the lights in the room, he ended his light spell and placed his wand back on the dresser, leaning up against it he leaned against it, his eyes never leaving Diana's beautiful figure.
"So I had a talk with a little birdie..."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 31, 2008 1:54:36 GMT -5
"I didn't know it was-" she stopped her explanation, she didn't know it was him, that was why she was still terrified and while she experienced a moment of relief that it was Christian that relief quickly went away as her mind registered what he had told her earlier. Her eyes deadened before him and calmly she remembered where her wand was.
"Didn't I say not to find me again?" she growled.
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Post by christianchristian on Oct 31, 2008 2:05:31 GMT -5
Christian stepped away from the dresser and knelt by the side of the bed. "Well either strike me down or talk to me then." Raising his head slightly to meet her gaze, a hint of sadness crossed over his eyes for a moment. "Way I see it, you've made it more than clear you hate me for the actions that were beyond my control, yet this isn't about us anymore. This is about our daughter." Unable to stare the woman who had gone through so much and had built a lot of hatred towards him because of it. "Derek told me everything, there is no way I could ever ask your forgiveness for what I put you through because of that night. However, together we can find our daughter..." He paused, his face seemed almost to plead with her for her assistance, for her love.
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 31, 2008 2:17:13 GMT -5
It was too much.
"I'm dreaming." she whispered. He came in and he was saying such silly things and he knew about their daughter, he wanted to help. She was dreaming, all he had to do was say that he had never harmed a child and that would confirm the fact.
Still she wasn't sure of anything, she tried closing her eyes and re opening them to make Christian go away but he was still there.
She stared at him silently for a long while before getting out of her bed, she picked up her wand where it was and kept it in her hand and when she got to Christian she was ready to kill him, ready at least, she was prepared with her wand...with whatever else she might need or so she thought.
Her spirits plummeted in the moment she realized she couldn't kill him. Her wand was there, ready, waiting... a spell hell anything...but the thought of their history, even if it was just that week, and even if it was just another day that they had made love, she couldn't burn the image of his eyes, or his smile, she couldn't erase the way she felt when he touched her, and that on top of everything else was reason to hate him. Hate him only because she wanted to love him but couldn't...at least she didn't think she could.
So she couldn't kill him...it didn't matter.
Smack!
She could however, slap him silly. It was the first blow but her hand came up for another, and another. She couldn't kill him, for now she would just have to settle on hurting him.
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Post by christianchristian on Oct 31, 2008 2:24:52 GMT -5
As blow after blow began to land, Christian stood his ground for a few hits but then she had him on his back. He had to stop the hitting but he didn't want to hurt Diana. Reaching out with his hands he grabbed her wrists and slid his leg around to trip her, she immediately landed on him with a small thud. "Will you stop it Diana! You don't love me fine but I know how to find our daughter you foolish witch!" Rolling out from under Diana, he released her hands just before he jumped to his knees and crawled away in a hurry. Jumping to his feet he ran into the living room. "You let me know when your ready to talk baby cakes." Smiling to himself he couldn't believe she was stealing his heart with each moment he spent with her.
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 31, 2008 2:32:00 GMT -5
She kept hitting him and was surprised when he didn't stop her even when he was on his back when he tripped her she landed on top of him and for a moment lost her breath pressed against him the way she was but he got out of the positioning quickly and she got her wits together and was about to get up to go after him only what he said kept her sitting she was glaring at him however.
She sat there for a while after he left and tried to compose herself. She would find their daughter without him and she was going to let him know it.
Standing she walked all poise and grace into the other room, although her hair was messy and she looked ravaged she had all her pride and dignity which made her appear as royal as any queen.
"I don't want your help. I don't care what Derek says," for which he will pay for she thought, " the child's not yours. You will *not* find her, you will stay away from her, and from me. And..." she paused there to look directly at him with intensity, "You will not call me babycakes."
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Post by christianchristian on Oct 31, 2008 8:34:42 GMT -5
Christian lowered his head as he remembered why Diana was being especially difficult today. Raising his head back up to meet her eyes, he closed the distance between them. "I was lying earlier today, I have never harmed a child but I knew it would be the only way to make you leave and never turn around. I won't lie to you, there are some of us who would, but I could never harm an innocent child." Sighing, he looked into her hardened eyes, his hand gently brushed against her cheek and he smiled. "The key to finding our daughter is the one man you've been trying your hardest to stay away from...me."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 31, 2008 16:07:52 GMT -5
Her eyes glazed over with tears from earlier, "I'm just supposed to believe ou?" she asked trembling although she was nearly certain he was telling the truth still, it was one thing to dream that this was happening and melt into his embrace, it was another to have it happen. Fifteen years ago Diana might have jumped in his arms and thanked Merlin for the dream come true, but she had hardened, she wasn't that innocent girl anymore even if she wanted to be it wasn't easy for her to trust anyone anymore.
"I don't" she said shaking her head so perilously close to the edge of tears, "I don't believe you...you said it so easily...." she tried to breathe regularly but it was apparent in every feature of her face and frame that she was worn down to the last shreds.
It was too much. She kept saying that, kept thinking that it had been too much, that she had had enough, but everytime no matter what it was...she survived, and she knew she'd push through this again, but this time she was going to have to rely on someone who had shattered her in the past..that was a hard thing to do.
"Why you...?" she whispered her defenses gone, it should have been much more difficult to get to her but she was at the end of her rope, it was either kill Christian for how much she hated him, or slowly trust him because of the love they once shared, and as she already realized , she couldn't kill him.
"Tell me why you...why does it have to be you?" she asked again, " Why couldn't some man, any other man have come for me? Why did you have to be so wonderful...and then take it all away? You talk about loyalty and devotion to this Lord of yours...but I can't...our daughter...our..." she whispered finally admitting that much that it was Christian's daughter..it would have been hard to be anybody else's considering she had only been intimate with one man, " she can't come in second Christian...I would've...I would've settled for second place with you...but she can't...she's better than that...if she's still alive. If one of you haven't killed her for something so stupid..." she shook her head sadly, she was tired.
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Post by christianchristian on Oct 31, 2008 19:51:00 GMT -5
Christian sighed as it seemed that Diana would not believe him once more. He knew this would take convincing and he had been prepared to do it, he just couldn't get over why Diana hated him so much, he would of taken care of her if he had known what was going on. Listening as she continued to spoke, the wetness began to coat his eyes once more, she was right. Their daughter was too important to be put second place in his life. Turning around he stared at the wall, so after all his hard work it had come down to this, it was his family or his Master.
"Your right...Diana." As the words left his mouth he couldn't believe he was saying what he was. Turning around he closed the distance between himself and Diana. "I want you and our daughter in my life, permanently." Leaning in and kissing her lightly on the cheek the tears began to fall freely from his eyes. He had not cried in as long as he could remember but Diana had done things to him no one else ever had. "Even if that means I have to leave the Death Eaters...."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 31, 2008 20:22:04 GMT -5
"What...?" she whispered, she let him come close to her, feeling as if this was goodbye, he was going to tell her that he couldn't give up his cause. She honestly expected him to say goodbye, and in her weakness she wanted to hold on to him and beg him not to go, she was however prepared to say goodbye with a hug, when he wasn't saying goodbye at all.
"What are you saying...?"
She swallowed, her eyes were wide staring at him as if she couldn't really comprehend anything at the moment. Was she dreaming? This was all so...sudden. He was quitting the death eaters but what else was he saying? Quitting? Did one quit an organization like that? Could someone quit?
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Post by christianchristian on Oct 31, 2008 21:19:54 GMT -5
Christian stood there watching as Diana's emotions said a whole lot more than her words did, he figured she might have some awful thoughts about the conclusion of him quitting the cause. He had thought about it a lot lately though and he had a pretty good idea how he could get away from the Dark Lord, for a while at least. Turning to look at the window he had crawled in when he entered, his eyes turned towards her once more. "I'm saying Diana....I don't want to go out this window....Not now, not ever again."
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 1, 2008 3:47:46 GMT -5
That was probably the most romantic thing he had ever told her, oh he had fed her many lines and they had always worked she couldn't resist someone she was head over heels for, but this was theirs, completely theirs. He didn't want to leave her and she was having a hell of a time trying to make him.
She backed against a wall, which was exactly how she felt, stuck.
She couldn't send him away, not when he could find their daughter, and...she didn't want to send him away.
"What if I told you to leave...what if I didn't want you here? What makes you think you can come into my life fifteen years later and just pick up the pieces..? It doesn't work...it couldn't work...what do you want?" she asked a bit incredulous, she was letting logic seep in but Logic had no place in her heart.
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Post by christianchristian on Nov 1, 2008 8:57:41 GMT -5
Christian looked at Diana before taking one more glance out the window, he was ready to give up his life for Diana and their daughter and she was asking him what he would do if she told him she wanted him to leave. "If you ask me to leave then..." He closed the distance between them, his body pressing a bit close to hers since the wall was behind her. "I would leave, I would give you some of my blood for the spell to find our daughter and I would return to my life, killing for the Dark Lord."
Sighing the back of his hand slowly brushed against her cheek, turning around he took a couple steps away wanting to give Diana all the room she could need. "I...love you Diana, your unlike any woman i've ever met before or since. I want you and I and our daughter to be a family, like we could have been if it wasn't for my stupid actions fifteen years ago. I promise Diana, if you don't ask me to leave, the window will stay closed...forever."
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 1, 2008 17:00:34 GMT -5
She stood there, weak as a kitten and feeling every bit as exhausted as she looked, but everything about this moment was so surreal to her. Happily ever after? Was that what Christian was offering her?
Indecision warred within her tired mind, her head vs her heart. The past vs whatever future they could make. Even now she could find ways to justify his actions, his leaving her, why she couldn't find him afterward, why he had told her what he told her, but were those justifications enough to risk her heart once again?
She was carefully not looking at him then but at the window and suddenly the vision of him going out that window and not seeing him again for fifteen years touched in her mind and she realized, she never had a choice in the matter. Her heart belonged to him, it didn't know pride or fear, the stupid, blind, ferocious pounding of her heart was for Christian, and it already was willing to be shattered against the rocks should he decide to lie to her again.
Already her heart was asking why she wasn't kissing him, why she was standing there like a ninny while the man she loved said he loved her, while he vowed to change his ways...for her.
This proud, sometimes overbearing, strong man, was willing to change...willing to do whatever he could do for her and for his daughter.
"It had to be you..." she whispered. There was a small step in his direction before she was running the short distance and jumped in his arms holding him fiercely as if by doing so she could prevent him from leaving and get the image of him leaving out of her mind.
"Nobody but you..." she whispered, "Ever...never...I couldn't be with anybody but you..." she was kissing him now and tears were lining her face, finally she went limp against him and confessed, "I love you."
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Post by christianchristian on Nov 1, 2008 19:37:31 GMT -5
As Diana's lips met his, Christian's heart began to race and emotions of every kind ripped through him, he knew didn't know how to respond or act at this moment except to kiss her back. For that one moment they were together everything seemed to be better, her kisses did that to him, he forgot everything except for her. As Diana went lip and uttered the three sweet words that made all his doubts and other feelings about giving up his service to the Dark Lord, he wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled as he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the forehead.
"You know.....this is not going to be easy Diana. We have a daughter to find and explain why we haven't been around for fifteen years..." He let the words trail off, he was still mostly in shock because he had a daughter, how could he of all people have a daughter.
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Post by Diana Ward on Nov 1, 2008 19:47:43 GMT -5
"It's * never* been easy Christian." she told him softly. But she was too comfortable too close in his arms to say anymore than that. She had battled long and weary on her own, she wanted him by her side, she needed him.
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Post by christianchristian on Nov 1, 2008 20:08:19 GMT -5
Christian could never know the terror of the things Diana had gone through, just hearing Derek talk about it made Christian cringe and very little made him do that. He was no stranger to death, he had seen it in all it's gruesomely beautiful forms and there wasn't much that surprised him as far as bad people went but this Whistler and the things Diana went through made Christian wish the guy was still alive so he could use his more artistic forms of killing to make his death last for days.
Leaning in close his lips brushed against her cheek as he let his mouth hang just inches from her ear as he whispered. "I'm here now, no one will ever hurt you or our daughter again. I swear it on my life..." His willpower finally overcome by her beauty and tenderness, in one fluid motion he scooped her off the floor into his arms as he carried her back into the bedroom and lay her on the bed. Removing his cloak he let it drop to the floor as he finally lay next to her. His arm around her waist he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you too..." Moving his head so his lips could meet hers, he never wanted this night to end, yet soon it would and Christian hoped it was for the better.
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