Breaking Away (Severus)

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie nodded. "I don't much like flying and I'm not really into Quidditch. But I don't mind heights. Sometimes it's nicer to be up high than down on the ground. I feel safer up in the tree than down on the ground. It's quieter up there." She started slowly up the stairs, looking at him over her shoulder. "When I was little, my parents built me a tree house in our front yard. I used to sleep up there; I liked it so much."

[Severus Snape]

Severus a little envious, but in a good way. he liked the oddness of the feeling and said "You've had tress at your house? I never had trees. There are a homes that are up the street from me that all have front and back gardens, but they all seem dismal...Your home sounds like it is its own world." Severus did like the idea of a home away from everyone, even a place away from everyone, but he never was so whimsical to think of a tree house. He decided for all Natalie seemed to know about the world...she was Whimsical in her own way.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie nodded. "I miss it," she said. "The house, the tree... I had to move when I came to live with Uncle Alastor. Now that I'm back with my dad, we still don't have the house. We're staying with my aunt Angelique now, when we're not here at the school."

She sighed wistfully. "She doesn't have a good tree to sit in. But I'm glad she's here. I think it helps my father a lot to have family close by. I just wish we knew what happened to my uncle. I didn't even get a flash about it until after he was gone."

[Severus Snape]

Severus didn't want to pry, but he found it odd that Natalie didn't feel it until later that her Uncle was gone. Distance was then a real factor in how much she could sense, he knew that because she had better visions while touching him, or anyone else, but that wasn't the only way she gathered the feelings she felt. He took in the information and decided he would try and find a way, anyway he could help her more.
" Was that after or before I started giving you that potion? was something inhibiting your senses?" he asked hoping she didn't get offended, he was still only just trying to help.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie thought about it for a minute. "It was after I started taking the potion," she said. "That could have had something to do with it, because sometimes I saw things like that in dreams. With the potion, I stopped dreaming. But it was good, because I could finally sleep through the night. I never could do that without the potion. I always had nightmares about something. Sometimes even about people I'd never even met."

[Severus Snape]

"That's unsettling." Severus said as he reached the top of the stairs and pushed open a door. "If I try another potion, one for when you are awake, would you take it?" he asked it in a hypothetical fashion, He was sure he would have to first study on how human brains worked and then work from that science to art of Potion making. It was a very delicate balance. "Not that I already have something in mind, but for curiosity sake." he added hastily.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie thought this over for a minute. "What kind of potion?" she asked. "You mean one that would stop the visions and the feelings?"

To her, it almost sounded too good to be true. Would something like that work for her? It would be so good to be... normal.

"Maybe," she said uncertainly.

[Severus Snape]

Severus nodded at this. The passage they walked into turned sharply and up another small flight of steps, they would soon be at the top of this particular tower. "It would take a long time to get something that delicate right... There hasn't been very much potion research or improvment that's been documented in years. Wizards know even less about how brains work than muggles do." It was in fact the only thing that was disturbing about wizarding society, It's changes and improvements came so slowly. Even if muggle TV was annoying, it was a quicker form of commication than any owl or floo network. Severus pushed Muggles and their inventions aside in his mind. He wanted to make room for Natalie, That thought was infinetly more pleasing than the Telly.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie had never dared to dream that her so-called "gift" would be something that could be cured with a potion, just like an ordinary medical condition. Like the visions and feelings were just a sickness that could be treated. But it sounded wonderful; just the idea of being able to touch people without seeing into their head, and knowing that the emotions she felt were her own, instead of someone else's. She would be able to walk into a room and not feel the lingering agony of spirits who passed through there centuries before. And she wouldn't see frightening visions of a future that she could not prevent.

Ultimately, the visions were what troubled her the most. The details sometimes changed, but the overall outcomes never did. IF she saw someone dying, there was no way to prevent it. Even if she had crossed paths with Katie Lawrence, she wouldn't have been able to prevent the girl's death. Just as she had been unable to stop Sabrina's death. And that was more than Natalie knew how to bear.

"If it could work, it would be incredible," she said breathlessly.

[Severus Snape]

Severus felt his heart squeeze itself. "It's only theory...Improving older potions is a special knack of mine...Maybe, if something already exists, I could improve it for you. " it was a silly thought but maybe it would work."But I won't give you anything if you might end up with a hairy heart." Severus had been very afraid of the tale when he was smaller, in moments of cruelty that his mother sometimes felt needy of, she would tell him the story so he would cower in bed and not go near his parents room. If he had been braver he might of tried to look for the heart, but the good sense of self preservation might of been inborn in him since birth. "What you suffer might be the only recourse we have for a long while." he felt ashamed that he was trying to excuse his future failures before starting the venture, but he had to at least be honest, he couldn't lie to her, that only made things hard for the both of them.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie reached out and touched his hand. "It's OK," she said softly. "I've lived with this all my life. I'll learn to deal with it and have my own life, one day. As long as I have people on my side... like you... I will be fine. I need people I can lean on. And I have Daddy, and you, and Voltaire and Isabella."

Her heart felt warm and for once, she knew the emotion was her own. It was comforting to know that she had one thing, one person, that belonged to her and her alone.

[Severus Snape]

Severus felt relieved and happy as she spoke. "You have a lot of people that care about you, you're the only one besides Rori that understand both professor's Rothschild well, anyone smart would be envious of that..." he paused and reached for her hand, the one she touched his with and held it. He briefly thought of their kiss and flushed but didn't let go of her hand. At any rate it was already passed and now a memory, but one he thought that he should always keep.

[Natalie St. Clare]

"I don't think most of the students care for me much," she said. "You, and Rori, and Lily Evans are the only ones who are really nice to me."

As Severus took her hand, she had a flash of memory, remembering their kiss earlier. It might have been Severus remembering it, and not her, but she didn't care either way. It was a pleasant memory and it made her smile.

They had reached the top of the tower now, and it opened into a small room surrounded on all sides by thick glass. "Oh, it must be a lookout tower," she said. "It's a beautiful view."

[Severus Snape]

"That is a lot of people!" Severus exclaimed as he walked over to the thick paned windows. "besides, everyone that did love you, when they were still here...and are gone." Severus paused a moment "They are probably still sending you love." he looked out over the castle and admired how high they were and how the Forest glittered with a far away shine at night.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie put her hands on the windows and felt the icy chill of the outdoors penetrating through the glass and settling deep in her bones. For a moment, she could pretend she was soaring above the trees and the lake, looking down on the world.

When Severus mentioned her lost loved ones, she smiled sadly and leaned her forehead against the glass. "I know," she said. "Sabrina comes to me sometimes at night. Just to remind me that she's watching over me and that everything is going to be OK. My mother... I don't see her much anymore, but I used to. She's starting to fade, I think. But I won't let Sabrina fade."

A single tear traced its way down her cheek, and she didn't bother to wipe it away. "I wish you could have met my mother. Everyone who ever knew her loved her. She was beautiful, like Sabrina."

[Severus Snape]

"You're beautiful too." he blurted out in her own defense but felt embarrassed that he had blurted something like that out.
"I would of liked to meet your mother..." He didn't know of what else to say about that, but he reached toward her face and wiped the tear track away, blandly thinking of how much his own mother cried. he thought sadly if his own mother were dead, he'd love her more too.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie's cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink. No one had ever called her beautiful; at least, no one who wasn't related to her. She was still too small to think of herself as being beautiful. She was still just a child. But her luminous blue-green eyes stood out against her face and her features were delicate, giving at least tiny hints of the ethereal beauty she would become. Natalie didn't know it then, but a day would come when she would be considered a great beauty in her own right.

"Thank you," she said softly as he wiped the tear from her cheek with his thumb. "You're beautiful, too."

Natalie saw things in him that others did not, and she could look past the sallow complexion and greasy hair to the person he was inside, the troubled and broken soul within. And that, to her, was beautiful.

[Severus Snape]

Severus blushed deeply. He didn't think he was pretty in any sense of the word. He was too thin and his hair was too fine, it was always getting weighed down by whatever he was brewing. He didn't believe he had any inner beauty either...in fact he thought it might be considered an insult if anyone had said "You have so much inner beauty! like Severus Snape!" he was sure anyone that heard that would burst into tears, But Natalie was so kind she must of meant it. "Thank you." and he smiled and couldn't quite make it go away, he felt so happy to be told he was beautiful, even if it wasn't true. he removed his hand from her face and reached into his robe for his wand, He tapped the window muttering an unlocking spell and the window peaked open just bearly.
"Stubborn Castle, It never wants to open a window." and he put his wand away. "I ...I'm glad we ran away from that party." He didn't want to think about what could of happened if he had let her run away on her own.

[Natalie St. Clare]

Natalie sat crosslegged in the middle of the floor, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. "Something is coming. Not here... I mean... just in general. Something terrible is going to happen. I've felt it for weeks, like an ache in my bones. I can't see what it is, yet... it's more like a feeling of dread. Just... promise me you won't go to Hogsmeade for a while."

[Severus Snape]

Severus looked at Natalie perplexed but he again opened his mouth without really thinking and said "If you aren't going then I've no reason to go either." It wasn't like he had money to spend on the sort of things Hogsmead had. No he would have to stick to looking for his own potions ingredients and pinching things from Rosier when he wasn't looking... It wasn't like Rosier actually used his ingredients. He felt cold standing next to the window and walked toward Natalie and sat down in front of her.
"How about we make a deal, I won't go into Hogsmead, but you will have to go with me to the next ball or dance or whatever function the silly headmaster thinks of!" He smiled at her and put his hands together in his lap and waited for her reply.