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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 23, 2008 16:31:08 GMT -5
Alice sat on the grass staring at the whomping willow tree... just out of reach of it's longest branches. She felt like that tree at this moment and had come to sit and stare at it desolately. Why didn't Frank trust her? He was a foolish, handsome, insenstive GIT! She'd tried to show him how she felt by being open and close to him before the ceremony. She'd been hoping he would understand that she loved him. But no.. apparently he didn't understand. And he didn't trust her.
He obviously didn't love her if he couldn't trust her, or at the very least give her a chance to explain things. And when she did try, he blew it in her face without believing before she could even tell him the truth. Now he didn't deserve to know. And if she didn't have Frank she'd probably have to end up marrying Rystain anyways. That had always been the deal between them. If she fell in love with someone she could get out and marry them. Otherwise she would hold to her vows to her parents and ... no she didn't want to marry Rystain. Sure he was charming and he was a friend.. but she didn't love him. Not like that. She loved Frank... and she almost hated him for it.
Her feelings had just begun to bloom for him and now he'd crushed them up into little shards and she just wanted the world to go away. She'd even skipped a few classes this week to avoid seeing him. She couldn't face him. She was miserable and hurt and angry, and she wanted to lash out like that whomping willow tree...
She sat staring...
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 23, 2008 18:29:54 GMT -5
Marlene was out for a walk, just enjoying the crisp autumn air. She did this often, as it allowed her to reflect and contemplate about life. She was feeling particularly pensive today; while the rest of her housemates were still celebrating Alice's selection as the Gryffindor champion, she was thinking about the danger involved. Although she seemed cool to those who didn't know her, Marlene was very headstrong and she believed in things very deeply. The difference was that she did so without emotions. She was very logic-oriented, and was able to think things through very carefully. And while the idea of competing in the tournament for the glory of one's house may have seemed brave and exciting, she thought it pointless. If one was to risk one's life, it ought to count for something. It ought to have meaning. But that was just her opinion.
She was happy for Alice, of course. She liked Alice, and was sure she'd do a good job. She just hoped that Dumbledore's precautions for safety would be good enough.
As she walked, she spotted the subject of her thoughts, standing over by the Whomping Willow. She looked frustrated about something, so Marlene changed directions and headed over to the tree to where Alice was standing.
"Hi, Alice," she greeted her. "What's going on?"
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 23, 2008 18:41:28 GMT -5
Alice looked up sharply when she heard Marlene approach. She'd been about to sit down so she didn't stop herself and sat down still just out of reach of the tree. It had been planted only about a year or so ago and magical grown... she wasn't sure why though. Dumbledore had said some vague answer on it once when she'd had a chance to ask him. She suspected it had something special about it but she still hadn't figured it out after a year and a half. Why put such a dangerous tree in the middle of the lawn?
She finally sat as Marlene came closer. She really wasn't in the mood to talk to someone, all she wanted to do was behave like that horrible tree did when you threw things into it's path. Lash out and rip things to shreds. Alice sighed before answering in as level a voice as she could manage but it was strained. "I needed some air... I didn't feel like having everyone trying to talk to me today." It was true, since she'd been chosen the Gryffindor champion everyone had gone out of their way to try talking to her this week. And all she had wanted to do was cry and scream. She had gritted her teeth and hoped her fake smile would fool them.
She was happy about the tournament, but she was also worried about it. After all it was HER head on the block if something went wrong... she was the one in danger not them. And now the one person she'd needed by her side to support her wasn't there. She wanted to hit something. But Marlene was one of her friends and she didn't want to take it out on her. "Not you, of course.. but... I just... I just needed to get out." Her legs were bent up in front of her and she laid her arms and head on her knees.
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 23, 2008 21:04:24 GMT -5
Having talked to Frank the night before, Marlene had a pretty good idea what was bothering Alice. But she also knew Alice would probably prefer to be the one to talk to her about it, so she didn't comment. "Yeah, I know. It's got to bed pretty crazy for you, being chosen as the Gryffindor champion. You probably have students you don't even know coming up to you like you're a celebrity or something. Congratulations, by the way. You're going to be great."
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 23, 2008 22:13:27 GMT -5
"It doesn't matter really, I don't really mind normally but just now isn't the time you know? I just wish people would leave me alone right now in my misery." She wasn't sure if she was more sad, hurt or angry, thought it was likely a complete mix of the feelings that were just overwhelming to her. "He never even gave me a chance, he doesn't even trust me Marlene..." She didn't say who, but she was sure that Marlene would know who she meant.
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 24, 2008 15:20:05 GMT -5
Marlene hid another smile. Of course she knew who Alice was talking about, and she would have known even if she hadn't talked to Frank the night before. She was sure Frank would have been at least a little bit comforted by the fact that Alice was just as miserable as he was.
Putting her hand on Alice's shoulder, she said gently, "Guys can be very insecure, Alice. When a guy likes a girl, he expects every other guy to see her the same way, and assumes that he's not going to be good enough for her, that the other guy has something that he doesn't. Guys don't know what girls are thinking or what they're looking for, but they do know what other guys are usually thinking about. In other words, Alice... it's not you he doesn't trust. It's everyone else, including himself."
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 24, 2008 15:40:59 GMT -5
"Marlene, he still should have given me a chance to explain." She had almost said again that he should trust her... but then she remembered something else. She had kept something from him. And if she'd only told him before... what? she asked herself half arguing in her head. She knew that if she'd told him she had been stuck in an arranged marraige with Rystain that he would probably have had the same reaction as he had now, but maybe worse. And it wasn't that she didn't trust him to tell him about Rystain, but she had hoped it would never matter. She had never planned to marry him if she could find someone else. And she thought she had finally found Frank.. but now all that was ruined. She groaned at her own internal battle. "I know what he saw looked bad, and I never told him about Rystain. I never thought it would matter." She realized that Marlene was giving her an odd look and she paused to explain herself. She'd never told anyone, not even Marlene.
"Rystain is.. WAS my family's choice for an arranged marriage to a pureblood family. He and I were betrothed when we were little kids, my mom was friends with one of his parents before they moved to France where he was born. I never really knew him execpt for the odd vacation. But before we came to school we made a pact, because neither of us really knew each other or really wanted to be together if we could find a reason not to. He's a friend now, but that's all. And that night, when Frank saw us together.. I was kissing him but on the cheek.. I was thanking him because he'd made me happy.. he'd let me out of the arrangement when he knew how I felt about Frank. And then Frank saw it and ... and he stormed off and didn't look back! And when I finally found him he just accused me of ... of.... " she began to cry again. She felt miserable and sad right now for what she felt she'd lost with Frank.
"...he didn't even give me a chance to explain... " She cried in earnest, her anger gone for the moment. All she wanted to do was cry.
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 24, 2008 15:55:03 GMT -5
Marlene listened to Alice's speech quietly, nodding her head every so often for support and encouragement. She cared deeply for her friends and felt sorry that they were upset. Yet she couldn't help but think that they wouldn't be in this situation if they had both stopped to think before they let their emotions take over. But then, most people didn't do that.
"He was upset. As soon as he saw you with Rystain, he reacted with his heart and not his head. The heart is infinitely more fragile than the head, Alice, and it's wounded far more easily. When the heart is wounded, it reacts without letting the brain think things through. That's what he was doing. I'm sure when he thought about it later, he regretted it.
Of course, she knew Frank had regretted it. But she wasn't going to tell Alice that she'd talked to Frank.
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 24, 2008 16:03:37 GMT -5
"I doubt that.. he's probably off with that girl Sam now for all I know. Besides I can't face him, I can't even eat or sleep let alone face him. Right now all I'd be able to do is hex him or want to hurt him how he hurt me. I just ... I just wish things were how they had been ... I love him Marlene.. and he obviously doesn't feel the same way about me. He hasn't once come to appologize to me." Not that she probably would have listened if he had.. at least not right away..
"Marlene, I dont' know what to do.. I can't face him.. and now Andi is having issues and.. I should go see her. We could comiserate men together. Maybe Frank just got so upset because he hadn't gotten what he wanted before he thought I'd gone somewhere else." She was grasping at straws but she wasn't thinking clearly either. She was just lashing out out of pain still. She didn't want to forgive Frank.. not if they would just hurt her in the end like Ted and done to Andi. "Is this what being in love is? Hurting all the time? Just to have that all thrown back in your face when they're thru with you? I dont' want to love anyone if this is what it feels like."
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 24, 2008 21:34:34 GMT -5
Marlene sighed. It was a lucky thing that she had the patience of a saint and that she adored her friends. Another friend probably would be ready to slap Alice around by now. Luckily for Alice, Marlene preferred to save violence for those times when there was literally no other choice.
"Alice, I highly doubt Frank is interested in that Sam girl. Besides, even if he was, he'd have competition from about 8 other guys. That girl's been here less than a week and has already made a bigger impression than I've made in 7 years." She smiled to show that she really didn't mind this.
"Ever since our fourth year, I've known you two were nuts about each other," she told Alice honestly. "And love... it confuses a lot of people, makes them act crazy. But it's not always a bad thing. Not all relationships end like your cousin's did. Look at my parents. They've been married 25 years and still act as giddy as school children sometimes. You'll see, Alice... if it's meant to be, then it will be. But you can't just sit here and get upset... you have to talk to him."
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 24, 2008 21:46:33 GMT -5
"We'll see I guess... I just don't see it like you do. All I can think of is how hurt I feel.. and that makes me angry. Anger is easier to deal with than pain. I just wish I could be numb, too bad there's no spell for heartache. Maybe I should just think like you do and not fall in love." She didn't mean it in any bad way, they both knew Marlene had issues with that particular emotion, and she didn't think her friend would take it out of context. She just wanted to stop being in pain.
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 24, 2008 22:21:38 GMT -5
Marlene shook her head. "Give it some time for your head to clear. You could write down your thoughts and feelings... everything you want to say to him. Just get it all out of your system. In time, you'll see... love has its bad sides, but I do think the happiness you get from it is worth the pain. You shouldn't be like me. Sure, I don't get hurt... but I also don't have the happiness you can have if you're willing to just let go."
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 24, 2008 22:38:57 GMT -5
Alice didn't think her head was going to clear anytime soon. She wasn't ignoring her friend but she just couldn't see whatever Marlene seemed to see. Probably because she was just still too raw and hurting to see it.
Then a thought hit her.. she should get Sirius and go have a little talk with Ted tomorrow... maybe if she could take her anger out on him, she could think a little more clearly... maybe.
"I don't know what I'm going to do, sometimes he acts like cares and other times he .. he's just so confusing sometimes, on top of being a git of course." She sighed, "I don't know if he really loves me though.. if he does he has a hard way of showing it and has never said it. You'd think if he did he would have.. I dunno.. he would have done something to speak to me in the past week at least." At least that is what she kept thinking, and ignoring the part about her avoiding him.
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 26, 2008 15:24:41 GMT -5
Marlene just listened quietly. Right now, what Alice needed to do was just rant and rave, to get it all out of her system. There was so much going on, the trouble with Frank, the incident with Alice's cousin, and of course, the Tournament. With so many things to think about, of course Alice was confused and hurting. Marlene understood that. Just because she was able to compartmentalize everything and deal with in its own way, that didn't mean that everyone could do that.
"Maybe he wants to talk to you, but he's afraid. Or he thinks you need time. You have to admit, your state of mind isn't the best right now... you have a lot to think and worry about."
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 26, 2008 15:35:14 GMT -5
Alice sighed, Marlene really was a good friend.. always rational where Alice let her heart be her logic. In some ways Alice let love be her guiding light in everything, which meant taking the good with the bad.. whereas Marlene had always been the logical one letting her mind do all the decision making. Alice kind of envied her that she could be so rational, and probably why they were such good friends.
"I think maybe I should just try focusing on something else for a while.. maybe spend more time in the library or studying up for the tournament.. and try to keep myself occupied. Hey can you do me a favor? I got approval for time off class from Professor McGonagall, would you mind helping me get my homework for me and taking notes? I don't want to miss out on my grades but ..I just can't face him in class yet. And McGonagall said I could use the time to focus on the champion tasks as long as I kept up with my coursework." She pulled a note sighned by the Gryffindor head of house from her robes and handed it to her friend, in case any of the professors questioned her about it.
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Post by Marlene McKinnon on Sept 27, 2008 14:17:48 GMT -5
Marlene nodded immediately. "Yes, of course I will," she said. "It's a good idea to take a little time to study up for the tournament. The first challenge will be starting soon enough, and I know you can keep up with the work." She also thought to herself that if Alice and Frank were both going to continue being stubborn and refusing to talk to each other, it might be better if Alice stayed out of classes for a little while. If only because she wouldn't be forced to be the go-between. It was certainly tough being between two best friends who were secretly crazy about each other.
"You're going to do great in this tournament, I'm sure of it," she said supportively.
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Post by Alice Prewett on Sept 27, 2008 14:32:18 GMT -5
"Thanks Marlene.. even if your biased!" For the first time in over a week Alice have a half laugh. Trust her friend to get her in a better mood by being supportive regardless of anything else going on. "I'm still nervous, I wish they would give us some clue of what the task is so we have a better idea how to prepare for it. Right now it could be ANYTHING!"
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