Confession is Good for the Soul (Marauders)

[Sirius Black]

It seemed like the day would never end. Sirius didn't know why, but each class seemed three times longer than usual. He and James and Peter had all been fairly quiet that day, watching Remus's sleepiness and short attention span. So by now they were pretty sure that their theory was right... Remus was a werewolf. But how to confront him with it?

Sirius couldn't help but feel nervous about it. What if Remus got angry, or defensive? What if he tried to deny it? What if, despite everything, they were wrong?

Above all else, Sirius wanted Remus to know that they supported him and that they were still his friends, even if he was a werewolf. So he really didn't want this confrontation to be too upsetting. But Remus did have to let this secret out eventually. Now was as good a time as any.

So, after dinner, Sirius led them all up to the dormitory and closed the door. Adding an impenetrable charm to the door to keep sound from getting out, he sat down on his bed and turned to Remus. "Remus, I think it's time we have a little talk," he said seriously, glancing at James for backup.

[James Potter]

James followed Sirius, Peter, and Remus up to the dormitory. His mind kept reeling with ways that they could casually bring up the subject of Remus being a werewolf. Although, every idea was just plainly stating that they had the assumption that he was a werewolf. That wouldn't be very smooth. Remus might react in the extremes, meaning he could immediately get all defensive, which James figured he'd do anyway, and then there was the part where Remus could get angry. He didn't want Remus to get angry. He just wanted Remus to know that no matter what, they were still a group of friends and that nothing could pull them apart.

Pausing by his own bed, James nodded in agreement with Sirius. Today seemed to confirm their theory about Remus. "We do," James added in a serious tone. "The three of us have been thinking Remus, and it's now or never, and no, we're not going to do anything bad to you because you're our friend."

[Remus Lupin]

Remus had followed the others into the dormitory and went right to his trunk to pick out some pajamas. But when Sirius spoke, he froze in place. He didn't like that tone of voice. This was something serious, and something told him he wasn't going to like it. James's comment cemented it for him. Biting his lip apprehensively, Remus turned around, still holding a pair of pajamas in his hands. Something told him he needed to sit down for this.

"What's going on, guys?" he said, moving over to his bed to sit down.

[James Potter]

"Well, Remus, like I said the three of us were thinking really hard last night," James said unsure where to really start. He was glad that Remus did sit down. "We've been trying to figure out why you are so tired after you basically disappear on us. The thought of you being up late and studying all the time came to my mind, but I knew that it wasn't it. You don't return at night either, so I know that you don't spend the night in the school." He reached up and scratched the back of his head, looking to Sirius who was right beside him for a little help.

"Anyway, you know that we're your friends no matter what, right?"

[Sirius Black]

"Yeah," Sirius chipped in, looking first at James and then back at Remus. "Look, we're not trying to upset you or anything, and we're not mad... but you do this little disappearing thing every month, you know? And to be honest, Remus, we're worried about you. You say you're sick, but yet you're not gone very long, and you're always so tired when you come back... If there's a problem, we just want to help."

He glanced at Peter, to see if he had anything to add.

[Peter Pettigrew]

"Because you know that you can tell us anything," Peter added. "You're still Remus that we've always known no matter what." Peter had to admit, he was a little nervous about confronting Remus, but it started to slowly fade away. "Like Sirius said, we're worried. It's always an every month thing, and we want to help with whatever." He knew that he just reiterated a bit of what Sirius said, but he wasn't sure what else to say.

[Remus Lupin]

Remus just stared at them, looking from one to the other in turn as they spoke. He kept his hands clenched at his sides, in the hopes that they wouldn't notice he was shaking. He had always known this day would come. He had always known that he couldn't hide this forever. But he didn't know how he was supposed to admit this to them. No matter what they said about friendship and loyalty, he was still doubtful. There were things that would test even the greatest loyalty. He'd seen it before, and he didn't want to do it again.

"I... I don't know what you guys are talking about," he said quietly. "I was sick... that's all it was."

[James Potter]

James raised an eyebrow at Remus. "Come on Remus. You don't have to act nervous around us. We're not going to do anything bad to you." He gave a quick glance to Sirius and Peter. "Look, Remus. I did believe you when you first told us that you were just sick, but it happens every month, and I'm sure that you don't get 'sick' every month at the same time," he said with a soft but serious tone. "We're not going to disown you. You can tell us anything. We want to help."

[Sirius Black]

"Yeah, Remus," Sirius said, stepping forward. "Please don't think we're ganging up on you, but you've got to tell us the truth, OK? Keeping a secret like this is just going to rip you up inside. Please, trust us. We're not going to turn against you. We're your friends, and we don't take that word lightly."

He looked at James for a minute, wondering if they were even getting through to Remus at all. It seemed beter for Remus to get him to admit it, but he didn't seem to be willing to do that.

[Remus Lupin]

Remus frowned. His heart was pounding in his throat, and his hands were shaking badly. But he kept his voice even. "I don't understand," he said. "I told you I was sick, it was just a little 24 hour thing... I have a tendency to get sick once a month, that's all. Just something I've had since I was a kid. If you're trying to tell me something, then just come out and tell me."

[James Potter]

James looked to Sirius with a sigh. Remus wasn't going to come out and tell them and he was sure that the other two knew it as well. "Remus, you don't have to be nervous around us," he said as he noticed his shaking. "Have we ever hurt you or anything?" James looked at Remus quizzically.

He ran a hand through his hair. It was now or never. "We know that you don't actually get sick. The three of us started to think last night and had a theory. Well, for once in our lives we researched something other than spells for pranks. We realized that there is a pattern to your sick days. They all end up on a full moon. Putting two and two together, it just made sense, but we had to make sure. Remus, you're our friend and it will never change. Just as Sirius said, we don't take the word friend lightly. We were going to see if you would tell us your secret first, but I guess we're going to tell you. Remus, we know what happens to you on full moons."

[Remus Lupin]

Remus sat with his muscles tensed as James talked. They had figured it out, he knew it. Tears burned his eyes, but he refused to blink them away. He wasn't going to do this, not now. Not here. As soon as James said the words "full moon," Remus was up from his seat. He edged toward the door, feeling his fear and anguish like a bubble ready to burst inside him. Looking from James, to Sirius, to Peter, he silently said goodbye to each of them in his head. Then he bolted for the door.

Unfortunately, Sirius's impenetrable charm not only kept the door locked and the sound out, but it also kept those on the inside from going out. He hit the invisible shield head on, and fell backwards onto his behind.

Looking up at them, he started to break. "Well, if you're all so smart, why don't you say it then?" he said angrily, even as the tears began to fall.

[James Potter]

James had thought that maybe Remus would have done something like that. "Remus! Calm down! You don't have to be angry about it. It's not like we're going to like you less, and it's not like we're going to disown you. We still like you Remus just like we always have. Nothing will change," said James. "We just want you to know that you're still our friend and that we don't care that you're a werewolf." He finally got it out. Now, he just hoped that Remus believed them about he will always be their friend no matter what.

[Sirius Black]

Sirius rushed over to Remus's side. "Come on, Remus, haven't you been listening to what we've been saying? We're your friends, no matter what. Do you honestly think we'd turn against you or something, just because you're a werewolf? Look, I know you haven't had an easy time of it, and I imagine you've met a lot of judgemental people. But we're not like that. Come on... just talk to us, OK? Don't get upset."

[Remus Lupin]

Remus wiped at his eyes and looked up at them. He wanted to believe what they were saying, he wanted to trust them, but he was afraid. Sighing, he said, "OK, so I'm a werewolf," he said. "Is that what you want me to say? Like, I confess it, and then you throw me out? Tell the whole school what I am, so I can be kicked out?"

[James Potter]

"We're not going to throw you out. Remus, you ought to know us better than that. Haven't we told you over and over that you're our friend no matter what?" James walked over in front of Remus and offered him a hand up. "Come on mate. And, why do you think that we're going to tell the whole school? We're not that kind of friends, you know that. We don't think any less of you. You're still the Remus Lupin that likes to keep his hair all nice and combed over without it being messy, and that tries to talk me and Sirius out of pulling some dumb prank. Nothing could change that."

[Peter Pettigrew]

Peter walked up and stood on the other side of Remus. "Yeah," he piped in. "We don't think any different of you. We just wanted to let you know that you're still the same to us, and that we're here when you need us. We don't care that you are a werewolf. We just wanted to make sure we knew what was going on with you." Peter wasn't really good with words of comfort, but he figured that this was a start.

[Sirius Black]

Sirius nodded. "Come on, Remus, don't you know us better than that? We don't care that you're a werewolf. We like you. You're the best one of us, you know that. You're the one who keeps us honest... or at least tries to. I know this isn't easy for you, but we're behind you 100%. We're not going to turn our backs on you. Please.... I don't know any other way to say it. We're friends for life, OK?"

He smiled supportively and held out his hand to Remus.

[Remus Lupin]

Remus looked at each of them carefully, studying their faces for any trace of insincerity or uncertainty. He expected that, for people he cared about to turn against him when they knew the truth. But here they were, confonting him and comforting him with no more judgement than if they'd found out he was failing potions (which he had a bad feeling he was already doing).

They were honest and sympathetic, ready to accept him without question. Where did such loyalty come from? The power of it nearly brought him to his knees.

Slowly, he nodded and placed his hand in Sirius's. "OK," he said, wiping his eyes with his free hand. "I'm sorry I freaked out.... it's just that I've lost a lot of friends over this. I really was afraid I'd lose you, too."

[James Potter]

"You can't ever lose us Remus," said James. "And we can't ever lose you. I mean after all, who's going to try and talk us out of doing dumb stuff?" He gave a grin. "It's always going to be the four of us. It's like we're in our on covenant." James shook his head. That sounded a lot corner out loud than it did in his head.

He reached out and ruffled Remus' hair. "We're always going to be here. You can't get rid of us that easily."