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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 3, 2017 5:05:36 GMT -5
He assumed she was having a nightmare, something horrible enough to cause her to scream but he didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary. Until he saw her eyes. They weren't her eyes. Christian rushed to her side but as he did she looked at him and then fell back onto the bed. When she opened her eyes next there was no white mask over them.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked he took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 3, 2017 5:10:50 GMT -5
Her heart was pounding, her face was pale, and her chest was heaving. The lie came to her too late. Her terror was pure and naked on her face, and she didn't have the strength or ability to hide her fear.
She looked at him and swallowed, "What the bloody hell was that?"
There was panic in her voice, in her eyes, in her rapid heartbeat. She scanned the room, but then returned her attention to the man in front of her.
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 3, 2017 5:16:04 GMT -5
Christian didn't want to answer, not being completely sure of his suspicions. If it wasn't what he thought, he'd be adding additional stress on Diana and the baby. If it was as he suspected, then they were in trouble.
"A nightmare," Christian lied. "Are you okay?" he asked again.
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 3, 2017 5:35:04 GMT -5
She chewed on her lip thinking of how to answer him.
"No." she said finally, "I'm not." she answered. The stress her body was in made it easy for her emotions to once again overwhelm her and tears gathered at the corner of her eyes.
She lowered her eyes to stare the blanket. It was clear that her injury was emotional rather than physical.
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 3, 2017 5:40:38 GMT -5
It was clear that her pain was emotional, and that was the problem. If it had been a physical pain Christian could have handled it. He knew basic medic skills, enough to survive in his line of work, and anything worse than that he would call on Dr Hanley's expertise. Emotional pain was not only more difficult, but also exponentially more uncomfortable.
He hesitated for a moment as he saw the tears forming, then suppressed a sigh as he sat on the bed next to her and held her. He wasn't sure what to say, so to avoid any unwarranted awkwardness he stayed silent as he wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her against his chest.
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 3, 2017 5:52:47 GMT -5
She laughed, a short laugh, but he had earned a smile with that gesture.
"Thank you." she said pulling herself together. She sat up to face him again.
"I thought about what you said earlier. About peace. About...our son." she licked her lips then forged ahead, "You didn't ask for this. This whole time I've been angry with you. Blaming you for something you don't even remember. Because of me. The man I owe my anger to...I erased, and there's nothing I can do to get him back." her voice was steady, but the regret was clear.
She shook her head to clear it, "Anyway, you're not him. Don't get me wrong, it was still a super sh*tty move to take a contract out on my life, but we can't live like this. Whether we like it or not we're bonded, and even if we find a way out of that, we have children. I don't know what Alyx is going to need when we find her, but I want to give it to her. And Liam. If you're willing to try for peace. I'm willing to try."
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 3, 2017 15:55:16 GMT -5
Christian wondered if the man Diana had erased would have been mad at her, as this Christian was now. Would he have understood why Diana felt she needed to steal his memories? Would he have been okay with the outcome? The current Christian wasn't sure if he was okay with it all. He didn't see how it would have been possible for him to fall so head over heels in love with the nut job he was currently comforting. That version of himself would have been so drastically different to who Christian was now - who he really was.
As Diana mentioned her inability to bring back her Christian, he grimaced. Burke had the solution, but Christian wasn't sure that he wanted it. He didn't know if it would be better to know and be someone he wouldn't even recognize; a loving, caring husband and father with responsibilities the current Christian couldn't even fathom, or the alternative. If his current state of missing memories and familiar self was worth the chaos that at some point he would resolve.
Either way he had a child. F*ck, two children. F*ck.
Christian nodded numbly. "It's...a bit much to take in. Knowing they're mine. But as they are mine..." Christian sighed and cursed under his breath. "I don't know what I'm doing, Diana but this insanity we've got going on here has to stop. It's not good for the bab- for Liam. Who the bloody hell picked that name, anyway?"
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 3, 2017 20:08:05 GMT -5
She laughed, "Well we certainly weren't going to name him after my father. But I had fond memories of my grandfather, Oliver. I'd say we picked it together, but the look you're giving me now makes me wonder if you really liked the name."
She sighed. Was the Christian she had fallen for really ever there? She couldn't ask him the questions she had, and there was no defense against the doubts that had begun to creep in her mind. She knew how she had felt about her husband, and somewhere along the way she had just assumed he felt the same with all the proclamations he had made. She had a dream and she destroyed it. It hurt.
"I know we can't go on like this. I can't go on like this. It has to stop for Liam's sake."
No matter how much it hurt, she had to move forward, they both did.
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 3, 2017 22:02:20 GMT -5
Christian took stock of the scowl he was wearing and quickly schooled his features. The name, Liam, was his grandfather's name. It was obviously chosen out of nostalgia and a fondness for his younger days when he spent many summers with his mum and her parents while Christian's father tended to business. Christian didn't dislike the name. On the contrary he thought it was quite perfect. It was just strange to see yet another glimpse into the other man he had been. A man of sentiment.
"That's not it at all," he said of her hurt accusation that he didn't like their son's name. "I just..." It was so much to take in so quickly. Only a few days before he was absolutely positive that this child was not his. "It seems like something my mother would suggest. It was her father's name."
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 3, 2017 22:25:27 GMT -5
"Your mother doesn't know I'm pregnant. We were waiting to drop one huge revelation on her at a time." she gave him a faint smile, "Not like it's difficult to accept marriage, lifebonds, and children all in one dinner."
The look in her eyes became soft and understanding, "Or a few days."
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 3, 2017 22:35:12 GMT -5
Christian gave a single chuckle. It definitely was not something simple to comes to grasp with. And considering how often his mother made passive aggressive comments about him not settling down with anyone yet, the news would have been a huge shock indeed.
"Best to avoid giving her a heart attack." Though it probably wouldn't slow his mother down any. Everyone was quite certain Roselyn Ward would outlive everyone.
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 4, 2017 1:51:43 GMT -5
She was pretty sure Christian also wanted to avoid the lecture that was sure to come with the news of Diana's pregnancy.
She sighed, feeling the exhaustion that comes after the adrenaline rush. "I'm sorry I woke you."
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 4, 2017 2:01:14 GMT -5
Seeing that she no longer needed his comfort Christian nodded and got up to leave. He stopped just outside the door. He wasn't positive what had happened with Diana, but if his suspicions were correct, then it meant Diana was not safe in her dreams. Whomever was using her dreams to find her location was obviously not expecting to see Christian, as evident by the sudden "disappearance" after Diana looked at him. She couldn't be trusted alone in her sleep.
"Perhaps its not wise for you to be on your own at night, if your nightmares are so intense. Its not healthy for the baby," he added, which was in all likelihood very true.
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 4, 2017 2:06:50 GMT -5
"Christian Ward, are you asking me to sleep with you?" she asked her lip twitching, before she began laughing in earnest. She shook her head, "Sorry. I'm sorry." she said reigning in her amusement.
They hadn't gone a week without f*cking one another senseless in four months. He had to understand why the idea of them sharing a room was funny to her.
"I'll be fine." she said waving off the concern. They needed peace, they needed something fresh and new, and sex was too complicated. She loved him too much.
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 4, 2017 2:16:05 GMT -5
"Clearly if I wanted to f*ck you I don't need to ask so overtly," he replied back with a bit of a haughty smirk. "But I think it's best for the time being, until these dreams settle down. I'll even let you pick your side - that seems like something you probably already have figured out."
Christian didn't have a side of the bed that he preferred. When he slept alone he slept in the center of the bed and when he shared his bed with a woman they slept on whichever side their bodies fell (before kicking her out in the morning, of course).
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 4, 2017 3:12:52 GMT -5
She gave him a light sneer at his confidence when it came to getting her to f*ck him. But he wasn't wrong. Even discussing it sent a warmth to the pit of her stomach, and yet she knew better. He could do things to her body and make her forget her own name, and still feel nothing for her emotionally. She felt too much for him emotionally, she couldn't be with him physically anymore, and sleeping in the same bed gave her a wave of anxiety.
Indecision wavered on her face, but ultimately she nodded. They didn't need to fight, and even though she hated it, he was right.
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 4, 2017 3:22:07 GMT -5
It was tempting to make a joke about not having to compel her to do as he said, but he was playing at civility and that would have probably just set her arguing against him. Instead he simply said, "good," and extended her barrier to include his bedroom. He made sure his closet was out of bounds and he added an extra security measure over her duffle bag that still stored a small stash of weapons. He couldn't trust that she wouldn't attempt something foolish, given the opportunity.
Christian pulled on a t-shirt, as he had only been wearing a pair of pajama pants, in order to make Diana feel more comfortable. And also perhaps to create even one minor hurdle were he to try anything with the only woman he could have sex with. This was going to be a long night.
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 4, 2017 3:30:26 GMT -5
Diana had also retrieved a pair of pants to put on as she had been sleeping in a camisole and underwear.
She walked with him to the bedroom, their bedroom and paused at the threshold her eyes closing against the bittersweet memories the room held for her. She felt the tightness in her chest return, she was beginning to recognize the ache.
In the time it took for him to put on a shirt however she had moved past it and merely went to her side of the bed (the side farthest from the door, but closest to the window) and quickly laid down.
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Post by Christian Ward on Jan 4, 2017 3:35:02 GMT -5
After the initial awkwardness of having a woman in his bed and not making any moves, Christian fell easily into a deep sleep once more. He had had a long day, between the morning arguments with Diana, dealing with his business, and researching spirit rituals Christian's mind was ready for a break.
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Post by Diana Ward on Jan 4, 2017 13:53:56 GMT -5
Diana didn't sleep for some time. Her emotions were once again at war with each other and her feelings for the man next to her created am ache so deep even her sporadic chest pains couldn't compare.
When he was asleep she turned on her side to face him. She had always found it creepy when he would stare at her as she slept, she knew he would undoubtedly find it creepy if he were to catch her now, but she took the risk anyway.
She wanted to apologize for taking his memories, wanted to curse him for putting her in that position to begin with, but most of all she wanted him to open his eyes and remember her.
Silently tears began to form in her eyes and roll down her cheeks. She had to stop crying. She had to stop feeling this way, but her heightened emotions didn't help.
Eventually she too fell asleep behind him, the nightmares starting as soon as her eyes closed.
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