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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 12:55:50 GMT -5
Diana Ward Dr Hanley had stayed for more than an hour the night before, tending to Diana and attempting to politely lecture Christian about his work without incurring the wrath of the man who employed him. Christian knew the doctor could handle anything that were to come his way, but he had rarely needed the man's services for something so consequential.
"You're getting sloppy, my dear friend." Hanley adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "Her injuries are quite severe, but she'll be fine. I'll return in a few days to see how she is doing. Unless..."
Christian looked at the man. Hanley had been the family's doctor since Christian was a boy. He was employed by Christian's father and stayed on after Christian took over the family business. He trusted the old man, but the doctor's insinuation that Christian was going to discard Diana as he had with other women was bothersome. Not unfounded, but bothersome.
"What does she need until your return?"
"Give her one of these, three times a day for the pain." He drew a small bottle of pills from his medical bag. "And this salve should be applied when you change her bandages. At least twice a day." He handed Christian a jar of neon blue paste. Christian thanked the doctor and escorted him out. He then went back upstairs and sat in the arm chair across from the bed, watching her. He stayed there until he fell asleep and woke the next morning with a pain in his neck.
Christian showered, letting the hot water ease the stiffness and wash away the filth from the disastrous mission the night before. He returned to the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair damp, and pulled open the wardrobe in search of something to wear.
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 13:53:12 GMT -5
Diana slept. She was tired, and she was getting soft. It was mental exhaustion pushing her unconsciousness. Christian had said that it was clear and something snapped inside Diana. She trusted Christian and she was due for a two year nap. She had broken more bones than she could count, she had more gunshot and knife wounds than she cared to disclose, and carried on pushing past the pain. Having someone to look after her as she did something as luxurious as recover was a novelty.
She knew something was different because she was warm, comfortable (as comfortable as she could be) and her eyes opened slightly he was there.
"Hiya Stranger."
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 14:16:02 GMT -5
Christian paused as he heard her voice then turned to look at her. She looked as though she had gone through hell, but she also looked rested which was a strange combination. She was bruised and bandaged but appeared relatively relaxed. The look would fade when the pain killers wore off.
"I think after the third or fourth romp you can't really consider me a stranger anymore," he teased. He took a few short steps and picked up the bottle of pills Dr Hanley had left for her. He gave her one, along with a glass of water. "You're going to want this."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 14:26:25 GMT -5
"Which means I should have stopped calling you stranger..." she studied him as though she were trying to calculate how many romps previous their facebook status should have changed. She gave up counting and gave him a cheeky smile instead.
She took the pill and the water, but kept his hand and kissed his palm gently.
"Thank you."
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 15:19:13 GMT -5
Christian helped her sit up just enough to drink the water without spilling it all over herself. He felt he was too rough with her and was uncomfortable with how fragile she seemed now.
He turned back to the wardrobe and pulled a pair of slacks from the hanger. "Burke is looking into the masked man," he said offhandedly. "I suspect it will be a while."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 15:34:12 GMT -5
Christian's words brought her back to the moment and cleared through the haze of drugs she was on, "I can't believe Sanchez was killed. I don't mean to sound ungrateful it's just." She sighed and struggled to sit up, hissing in pain.
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 15:50:29 GMT -5
Christian pulled the towel off his waist and threw it into the hamper toward the back of the wardrobe. Stepping into his pants he finished Diana's thoughts. "...a waste of time? Resources?" He turned to look at Diana as he fastened the closures on his pants. "It was a bloody stupid venture and I'm an idiot for letting you drag me into it."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 16:24:58 GMT -5
She watched him with appreciation as he changed but flinched at his words.
As always her own ire rose in response to his, "I'm sorry, but what was your great plan? Oh yeah you didn't have one." she replied matching his tone.
"Oh no, I remember. Sit and wait wasn't' it?"
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 16:52:33 GMT -5
He pulled a black shirt from the wardrobe and flung the hanger angrily onto the floor. "Actually, Diana," he said as he pulled his shirt on, "if we had waited as I had suggested, then Sanchez would still be dead and you wouldn't be laid up in bed with a broken rib and f*cking bullet hole in your shoulder!" He fastened the buttons that ran down the front of his shirt.
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 16:56:35 GMT -5
"Bosh." she said simply ," There was no possible way we could have anticipated that Sanchez would have someone else after him. The fact that we hit him the same night someone else did proves that tonight was the only opening that we were going to get." she said remarkably logical (at least to herself) in her current state.
She was envious of the way he moved with speed and anger while she was considerably hindered by her injuries and the drugs. She felt as though she needed to be in top form if they were going to argue.
"Maybe we should just continue to do nothing and rely on some masked stranger to take care of all our targets."
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 17:17:12 GMT -5
"Yes, Diana. that's exactly what I plan to do. Should I cross my fingers and wish on a bloody shooting star, as well?" She was acting childishly and obviously didn't realize the extent of her injuries.
He stormed over to the window where the curtains had been drawn shut. He yanked back one of the curtains and sunlight flooded into the room. "The hit was yesterday, Diana. You've been asleep for 10 f*cking hours. You can't keep going thinking you're invincible! You're not! Look at you! You could have f*cking died!"
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 17:28:10 GMT -5
She flinched at the sunlight, and was surprised that she had slept for so long. No wonder she felt so rested.
She was too irritated with him, and in too much pain to realize that his anger was caused by worry. She spoke without thinking, "I've been through worse." she informed him, "Without the painkillers afterward. I'm not dead. I know I'm not invincible but this isn't about me, it's about the mission, we get the job done. I won't stop until they're dead."
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 17:47:08 GMT -5
"You don't want the painkillers, Diana?" He moved swiftly to her side and picked up the bottle of pills from the bedside table, throwing them across the room. The bottle shattered against the wall, spraying pills over the floor. "Fine. Suffer! Maybe the pain will make you realize that you can't find our daughter if you're dead! Alyx will go her whole life never having met her mum because you have a f*cking death wish!"
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 17:56:53 GMT -5
Her teeth clenched against the pain she felt in sitting up. “Do you think I wanted this?” she asked him unable to yell without her rib causing her pain, “Do you think I want to be killed?! Or in this bed?! It was the only way Christian. We had one opening and you know it! You never would have gone with it if it wasn’t the only way. You’re just pissed someone else got there first. So am I, but how the f*ck was I supposed to know was anyone supposed to know that someone else would be there?!”
She cried out after leaning on her injured shoulder, she hated this weakness, but she refused to show it on her face and kept the tears locked away, “This is the job. It’s not always pretty or clean, and no matter how much you plan or pray there are always variables.”
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 18:13:39 GMT -5
"Don't lecture me about 'the job,' Diana! This is my bloody job! I told you yesterday your methods were sloppy and look at you today. We should have done it my way. My men could have gotten more intel before we went in. Barely making it out, I might add. Or do you not remember the Goliath that squeezed your chest in on itself?"
It was infuriating that she couldn't see what was right in front of her. Christian raged at her, having no where else to focus his frustration and concern. The argument would continue until one of them relented and neither had it in their nature.
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 18:30:50 GMT -5
"You don't know anything about my methods!" she yelled back at him, "One bad op and suddenly I'm sloppy! You've made a thousand assumptions since coming back into my life and I am sick of it!" she yelled ignoring her rib.
"I don't have to defend myself to you. I don't have to defend my actions or my risks! We had a window of opportunity and we would have gotten the job done if someone didn't get there first, but there was no way of planning for that."
She leveled a look at him, "This also wasn't just my plan. Yes I pushed for going in tonight, but everything else from entry to exit we did together, so half of this s**t show was your idea too. Stop blaming the whole damned thing on me! In the end Sanchez is dead and we are one board member closer to getting to Alyx."
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 18:56:17 GMT -5
She was accurate in forcing Christian to shoulder some of the responsibility for the horrendous job. And when he did calm down, however long that would take, he would realize the relief he felt in having Sanchez out of the way. But they didn't know anything about the masked figure who actually killed Sanchez, and that through a wrench into the whole operation. But Diana hit on one thing that struck a nerve with Christian and in his fury he couldn't be silent on the matter.
"I have to bloody assume things, Diana! You're not exactly the sharing type. The most information I've ever gotten from you is when you f*cking tied me up and threatened to erase my memories! And since then you've only told me what I need to know to help you meet your bloody goals! How the f*ck am I supposed to know anything about you when you don't trust me enough to tell me?"
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 19:29:09 GMT -5
"You've never asked!" she screamed now. He hadn't asked her, and they had both made the mistake in thinking that their pasts were off limits.
"It doesn't come naturally to me to offer up information Christian, I've spent the past two years killing and being responsible for the death of anyone who did know too much about me. But I don't expect you to just jump when I say so, because I say so. I've been open about everything you've asked me since you found out about Alyx and you know why I threatened to erase your memories. But every time I prove you wrong you still go back to what you think you know about me."
Her eyes were hard now as she pressed on, her shoulder began to bleed again, "You don't know me Christian! I've said it so many times. You didn't know me when we were at school together and decided that I was just a love struck puppy panting after you. You didn't know me when you left me in the middle of the night with no way of tracing you to tell you I was pregnant! You didn't know me or what I've gone through to become the person that I am now! How can you love me? You still don't know me!?"
And there she was surprised by her own words and fears. Christian had made so many assumptions about her in the past, he assumed that she wasn't worth his time. He assumed that she was only good for a two week bedroom romp. Now he assumed that she was sinfully dangerous, and Diana could only assume that he assumed he loved her. But how could he? And how could she trust that it was real or that it would last? She struggled to let Christian in, though at times she felt as though she let him in too much. But at the end of the day what if his love was just an assumption? What if the person he was in love with didn't really exist except in some figment of his imagination about who he thought she was? Would he leave again? Would she be on her own again?
No she didn't know how to do things his way, and she was willing to learn, she was willing to take everything he was offering her, but she didn't know how to trust that it was going to last. She didn't know how to plan for a future with him in it. Or with help. Or with opportunity.
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Post by Christian Ward on Oct 21, 2016 20:37:55 GMT -5
He seethed as she threw their past in his face. "I was a bloody kid, Diana! For f*ck's sake! I was a stupid, f*cking kid who thought he could rule the world because he could ride a broomstick and bash a ball with a club. I wish to Merlin I could take it back, but it happened and there's nothing I can f*cking do about it! I'm trying to fix it as best I can. I'm trying to save Alyx and you! I'm trying so bloody hard and it's not good enough. I'll never be good enough in your eyes because of something I did sixteen years ago! It doesn't matter that I love you. It doesn't matter that I love the sound of your voice when you say 'good morning' or how your nostrils flare when you're yelling at me. You don't give a f*ck that I can't stop thinking about you, worrying about you! But I can't love you because I ruined your life, and I get that Diana. I really understand that. But I am not that bloody kid anymore and I will never stop trying to make it up to you!"
The mistakes he made 16 years ago had haunted him every day since she told him. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. He couldn't have known. But that didn't matter because he was the reason Diana was like this. He was the reason she had her child taken from her, and the reason she was locked away. If not for him, she would be living a quiet life in peace instead of lying in his bed with broken bones and holes that ought not to be there, bleeding through her bandages. "Sh*t, Diana, your shoulder."
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Post by Diana Ward on Oct 21, 2016 22:33:48 GMT -5
She was shaking her head as he began accusing himself, "Stop!" she cried out, "Just stop it! It's not you! It's me! I'm not blaming you Christian! You didn't ruin my life..." she gasped.
Somewhere between the pain, the drugs, and the emotions she was done for.
"You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was nothing before you. A cardboard cookie cutter debutante. You changed everything. And when you left yes I was devastated, but I was young and foolish. I hung the moon and ridiculous expectations on your shoulders, but you gave me Alyx. It didn't matter that you weren't there, nothing mattered except Alyx, and for the first time I was somebody. I was a mother."
Her shoulders were shaking with emotion, though her voice quieted to a fragile confession, " And suddenly I wasn't. I lost Alyx and I went back to being nothing, a shell of nothing until two years ago.
Everything I am, everything I've done is to get her back. Godric Christian I don't even know who I am, or if I'm someone that can be sinfully dangerous, or the woman that you want, or the mother that Alyx may not even need. I just know the job. The job is the only thing that's kept me alive. I won't know who I am until it's finished. I’m broken Christian. And I'll be broken until this is finished, maybe even after. You don’t want someone who is broken, and I can’t be responsible for your expectation or disappointment."
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