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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Mar 14, 2012 0:12:38 GMT -5
Walter made it a habit to visit Joe's coffee shop every single morning for the next week or so. Apparently Josephine's suspicions had been raised, because she didn't appear again that week. But the trips weren't wasted, because he was slowly gaining Colleen's trust. She was naive and vulnerable, so any friendly face seemed welcome to her. And Walter knew how to appear friendly when the occasion called for it.
Most days, they only exchanged a few words, but he noticed that she seemed to warm up when he walked in. It was almost too easy.
Today it had been six days since the first time he walked into the coffee shop. He didn't even bother to bring a newspaper today, figuring he could do without that useless formality. He simply walked into the coffee shop with a fake smile plastered on his face.
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Mar 18, 2012 23:15:44 GMT -5
Colleen was pretty sure the hormones were kicking in. She woke up every morning with terrible morning sickness, and this morning, after that ebbed away, she just sat on the cool tile floor of her bathroom and cried. And cried, and cried. She didn't know how she was supposed to do this alone, and as sweet and nice as Joe and the girls were, she didn't think she could turn to them without them asking questions. She really had no one, and that made everything all the more terrifying.
She was having a bad day, and doing her best to hide it from Joe and her customers. But when Walter walked in, for some reason, things just seemed to relax. She had exactly the wrong reaction to him, but she couldn't have known that. He was a familiar face, and he always struck up a conversation with her. She was looking forward to his daily visits.
When he took his seat, she gave him a moment, then came by. "Hello. You're turning into quite the fan of this place. Your usual?"
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Mar 20, 2012 23:23:05 GMT -5
Colleen had always been a little too easy, too trusting. Even Siobhan was usually more suspicious than Colleen, which was why she had never been one of his favorites. She didn't have the strong instincts that were required for the work. Still, she was here, having practically fallen into his lap, and he had a feeling that she would become more useful than he could have imagined.
He had to gain her trust first, but so far that was proving to be a very minor obstacle. A bigger issue was the secret that he was now sure she was keeping from everyone. There was something about her, something he hadn't yet been able to put his finger on, but he could sense that it was the key to everything. He also sensed that she needed to tell someone about it, and, for some reason, she had no one to tell. He meant to be that person by setting her at ease and offering a shoulder to lean on.
She couldn't know that his was the very last shoulder in the world that she should be leaning on.
"Yes, it's always comforting to have a regular place to go, where you feel at home," he replied in that cheerful tone he reserved for her. "The usual is fine. And perhaps one of those biscuits?"
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Mar 21, 2012 0:43:59 GMT -5
Colleen was quiet for a moment, though, not responding to his comment about feeling at home. She wished she knew what that felt like. She had a feeling, if she could let herself, she could feel that way here, but she was scared to let anyone or any place be her home again. That was him... and now he was gone and she ached with something she supposed she could call home sickness, using Dr. Burkhardt's analogy.
"Sure thing," she told him instead, heading back to the counter to get his coffee and the cookie he mentioned.
It was just a bad day, she told herself. Tomorrow, after she kicked the morning sickness, she would feel better and things wouldn't look quite so hopeless.
She set the coffee and a small plate down in front of him. "Where's your paper today?"
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Mar 22, 2012 0:02:08 GMT -5
She definitely seemed down today. It was obvious to anyone who looked at her, even someone who was not a trained psychiatrist. Something weighed on her and was dragging her down... and today she didn't even seem to have the energy to fight against it. She was fragile and vulnerable... and what she needed was a friend. He intended to be that friend.
Keeping the mood light, Walter gave a little chuckle as he shrugged at his empty hands. "Oh, you know how it is. After a while, all the stories seem the same... more bad news every day. It can get rather depressing, don't you think? I thought I'd skip it for the day."
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Mar 30, 2012 0:49:22 GMT -5
Colleen nodded. "Yeah, they don't report the good news any more. It's a shame, really. I haven't read the paper since that nasty massacre a few weeks back. Remember that one?" That was the one where her fiancé had been killed, along with many other innocent people. She just hadn't been able to stomach more sad stories after that. Other people losing loved ones... No, she'd had enough if that for herself and her child.
She bit her lip and glanced back at he counter. There really wasn't much to do just yet, so she turned her attention back to the man. "Dr. Burkhardt, are all the people that see you crazy? Or are some of the just.... You know, normal?" She pictured anyone who needed a therapist to be crazy in one way or anther, especially considering that he worked on the psychiatric ward. She wasn't crazy, she knew she wasn't. But she literally had no one to talk to. Joe would thin she was certifiable, and Merlin, she was just so lonely.
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Apr 2, 2012 0:02:34 GMT -5
Walter broke into his patented "patient" smile, the one he reserved for his patients and the people who asked if he thought they were crazy. It was designed to set them at ease, and never let them know that he was amused by the question.
"There is no such thing as 'crazy,'" he replied in an equally patient tone. "Yes, I do see some very troubled individuals, some of whom suffer serious mental illnesses. But most of my patients are just lonely people who need someone to talk to, to help them deal with their emotions and sort things out. There's nothing wrong with needing a little help once in a while."
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Apr 2, 2012 23:19:16 GMT -5
Colleen scoffed. "No... that's kind of you to say, but I've seen crazy. Sometimes, I think I'm a little crazy."
She knew she wasn't... not really. But Merlin, she was lonely, and she didn't know how to sort through things.
"Sorry, Doctor. You get paid a lot to talk to people like me. I shouldn't be bothering you."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Apr 3, 2012 23:16:50 GMT -5
Walter continued to smile. "Well, some of my colleagues would undoubtedly say that everyone is a little bit crazy in some way or other," he replied. "There is, after all, no such thing as 'normal.' Everyone has their moments, even me."
This last statement was true, but in Walter's mind, it was not. He honestly believed himself superior to others, mentally and intellectually, and that was why he was able to spot the flaws in other people. Of course, his pride and arrogance were his true flaws, but he couldn't see it that way.
"At any rate, I don't mind. It's nice to talk to someone on a more informal, friendly basis. You've been a bright, friendly face each morning for the last week or so, and I have enjoyed talking to you. I wouldn't mind helping you out a little, if you need someone to talk to."
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on May 19, 2012 20:39:34 GMT -5
"I like that theory better... that we're all a little crazy inside." Colleen could buy that easier, and if everyone else had a little crazy in them, too, then maybe she wasn't so doomed.
She hesitated again. It had always been hard for Colleen to open up, and she wasn't generally in the habit of letting people help her. She was actually quite independent... before she'd gotten pregnant. Now she just felt like a new person... a weaker person.
"Do you want to know my kind of crazy?" She asked, not expecting him to answer as she looked around to make sure no one else heard her. "I'm not really engaged. I mean... I was. But that attack I mentioned? He was there. And I can't stop telling people that he's still here."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on May 27, 2012 15:24:48 GMT -5
Walter leaned forward slightly, just enough to look interested, but not as interested as he actually was. He didn't want to give the impression that what she was saying had any interest to him other than friendly concern for her, yet he also didn't want to look as though it didn't interest him at all. He was good at this, measuring and displaying just the appropriate level of a reaction to any given situation. Every action and emotion he displayed was purely calculated and utterly artificial, but he had studied human psychology so well that he could simulate these things without ever arousing anyone's suspicions. The only people who ever seemed to see through his act were his fellow psychiatrists. Nadine Richmond, in particular, seemed to suspect that he was not as he appeared, and consequently, they both tended to avoid each other.
"That isn't crazy," Walter replied calmly. "It's only crazy if you start to believe what you are saying to people and behave as if he really was alive. But you are alone and you are grieving, and you have few close connections. You're currently experiencing the first stage of grief--denial. You don't want to believe that he is gone, you don't want to have to hear other people tell you how sorry they are and ask you if there's anything they can do or tell you that 'he's in a better place now.' So you don't tell them, so you don't have to deal with it. In time, you'll move on to the next stage."
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Jun 13, 2012 16:08:05 GMT -5
It made her feel better to hear him say that she wasn't crazy. She thought she was, and not just for this. There were the memory lapses, the extreme anger sometimes. She didn't dare bring these up, especially when she barely knew this man. Although that tug of familiarity was something she mistook as a reason to trust him.
But he was right. She ached at how much she missed him sometimes, and the last thing she wanted was for people to tell her how sorry they were. "No, you're right. When people start talking about him, it just makes me remember that he's gone and I can't... This is all more than you care to hear, I know. It's just, we had a history. And I lost him once and we found each other gain and it just doesn't seem fair to lose him again."
The big secret to was still holding on to. She wanted to tell him desperately, but something just... Well, it stoppe her.
"What's the next stage?"
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Jun 19, 2012 23:43:38 GMT -5
"That is very sad indeed," Walter said in a perfect imitation of sympathy. "Life is often unfair, and it can be very difficult to reconcile that fact with the types of happy-ending myths we are taught to believe in books and movies. I would tell you that I am sorry for your loss, but of course, that's exactly the kind of trite expression of sympathy that's making you reluctant to tell anyone of your situation. All I can say is that I believe you are stronger than you think you are and that you will find a way to pull through this."
Of course, he knew a lot more about her than she knew about herself. If he wanted, he could erase her pain with just a short phrase, but for now, it pleased him to have her feeling depressed. It kept her talking to him, anyway, and that was useful to him.
"The next stage is anger. After that is bargaining... you may not have that in this case. Then depression, and finally acceptance. You weren't there when it happened, were you?" he asked gently. "Did you know the details? Sometimes that can help to accept what's happened."
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Jul 29, 2012 20:12:18 GMT -5
Colleen didn't think she would every accept what happened. Not the way it happened, and especially not when in 7 or so months, she was probably going to have a perfect little version of him in her arms and completely reliant on her. How was she supposed to raise a child when she couldn't even figure her own life out?
"I wasn't there. He was supposed to be meeting a friend and this restaurant... the kind with the bars in them? The Daily Prophet won't say much... and all I know is what was in the paper. But a group of people came in... six or so? And just tried to level the place. Senseless violence. There was no reason for it. From what I've heard, some of them were taken to Azkaban, a couple of them killed in the fight. One of them got away... Sometimes I would like to just get my hands on him, whoever he is. Anyway, my fiance was one of the casualties."
She was referring, of course, to the attack by some of the children like her- she just didn't know it, obviously.
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Jul 31, 2012 23:01:38 GMT -5
Walter knew exactly what she was talking about. That attack had been the result of his experimental activation of the handful he'd given the extra training... the group that had included Nikola. He was the one who "got away." Others, like Dustin, were now imprisoned for that attack. He'd lost a few of his "children" as well. He still wasn't sure he would consider the entire event successful or not.
But because of that attack, Colleen was now free from a potential complication. He hadn't factored her into his plans, but now... well, when she reached that "anger" stage, she might be a formidable force.
Walter tried very hard not to smile, and instead twisted his expression into a sympathetic frown.
"That's terrible," he said. "I believe I heard about that incident, actually. Simply shocking. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you."
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Sept 5, 2012 0:37:13 GMT -5
Colleen sat perfectly still, her hands folded on the table in front of her, and she stared at them. Her instincts usually told her not to trust people. But she had a hard time listening to those, sometimes, and whatever her gut said about Walter, he'd been nothing but kind to her so far. He didn't even look bored or like he wanted to talk about anything else. He was probably just humoring her, but he let her talk, and Merlin, it felt good. It meant she wanted to keep talking, to just get it all out there while she could. And Walter was still something of a stranger to her, so it was easier to talk to him than it was to anyone like Joe, who knew her now.
"It's been lonely. And stressful. I get sick a lot, but that's... well, that's from something else. I just keep hoping I'm going to wake up one day and either forget all of this, or find him there." She took a breath and sighed as the bell over the door jingled. "Anyway, I should probably get back to work. Thanks for listening."
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Post by Josephine Elwel on Sept 5, 2012 12:46:49 GMT -5
It had been a couple of weeks since Joey came in to the coffee shop. Walter's probably innocent appearance still spooked her, only because she wasn't used to him, and she did catch him watching her. He had a reasonable enough explanation, but she couldn't be too careful. It honestly could be a matter of life and death one of these days.
By now, though, she figured it was safe. The guy either dropped the trail when she stopped showing up... Or he was innocent and just wanted coffee.
The bell chimed when she stepped in, and she cringed slightly, like she did every time. She hated anything that drew attention to herself. Sometimes, it was unavoidable. She really should learn to relax.
The petite brunette glanced around, her eyes landing almost immediately on Colleen, the barista, and, surprisingly, the man with the newspaper. She stopped short for a second, looking at the man's profile, before she took a breath and turned towards the counter, placing her order.
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 14, 2012 17:45:30 GMT -5
It was lucky that Walter saw her first. He had glanced at the door just as it opened and saw Josephine as she walked in. Aside from a small twitch of his lip, he showed no outward reaction. But inside, he was definitely relieved to see her. He had worried that he might have chased her away. But his clever Joey would not be frightened away so easily. She'd change her habits, her timing, to be less predictable, less noticeable.... but she wouldn't be scared away. He was proud of her, perhaps more proud than he was of any of his other children. And to think he had underestimated her once just because she was small.
Aside from that small glance in her direction, Walter gave no indication of noticing her. Instead, he continued to focus on Colleen. She'd said she was sick. He looked at her then--her pale complexion and strangely flushed cheeks. There was a fullness to her face, as if she were retaining water.
And that was when it clicked for him. "Sick?" he repeated. "Wait. Dear child, are you... pregnant?" he asked in a whisper.
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Post by Colleen Christiansen on Sept 16, 2012 23:09:33 GMT -5
She'd wanted to tell him. She wanted someone to know so that she wouldn't feel so terribly, horribly alone. But she couldn't do it. She didn't tell anyone so far that she was pregnant, and really, when it came down to it, there were charms that could hide the belly when it started to show.
So when he outright asked, her eyes grew wide and the knee jerk reaction forced her to say, "What?" But she was also kind of relieved in the seconds that followed that question. She didn't have to tell him and he knew, and it meant it someone now knew where she was coming from.
Although her eyes teared up a little, she refrained from letting emotions get the best of her, and she nodded, pulling her lower lip between her teeth before confirming verbally. "Yes, I am. And I'm scared about it."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 19, 2012 22:10:33 GMT -5
Now, this was properly exciting, and it took all of Walter's considerable will to keep his face calm and appropriately sympathetic. But inside his head, the wheels were spinning.
Until now, the only other one of his children to have a child was Zane. And the boy, Billy, was weak. He'd been born premature and would have suffered developmental problems if he'd been allowed to live. Which was why Walter had not had any qualms about having the child killed. But Colleen was pregnant... She would be giving birth to a child... and Walter was already very interested to see whether this child might prove stronger than its mother.
He reached across the table and gripped her hands in his. "Have you been to a doctor? How far along are you? It must not be too long, if you're not showing yet..."
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