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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 23, 2011 17:27:54 GMT -5
It was time for Kylie's appointment with her therapist once again. She didn't know exactly why she was going to see a therapist. It wasn't as if her life was extremely stressful or anything like that. She started to see one a long time ago when she was younger to attempt to help control any sudden anger out lashes. There was also the thing were Kylie just didn't feel like a 'normal' person. Going to the therapist did give her some kind of relief that she wasn't going insane.
Arriving at the Psychiatric Ward, Kylie waved to the nurses who were at the desk and she greeting the faces she saw every time she was there. She was always nice to them because they were always nice to her. Walking past a few more people, she arrived in the usual door she visited at least once a week.
Raising her hand, Kylie knocked on the door to make her presence known.
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 23, 2011 18:02:44 GMT -5
Walter liked to keep track of his old "pupils," as he liked to call them. Now that Siobhan and Nikola were back in the fold, he had managed to track down a few more of them. One of them, Kylie, just happened to be seeing one of the staff psychiatrists here at the hospital, right under Walter's very nose. This would not stand, of course. A well-placed memory charm had fixed this little error, and now the poor woman had no idea that she had ever treated a patient named Kylie Thorburn. No.... Kylie must be his patient.
When he heard the knock on the door, signaling the telltale sound of her arrival, Walter had his back to the door, sitting in a tall, wing-backed chair that completely obscured his frame from view.
"You may come in," he said, but didn't turn around just yet. "Close the door and have a seat."
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 23, 2011 19:16:39 GMT -5
Kylie was used to seeing the woman psychiatrist, and the voice that greeted her was not the same friendly woman's voice that she was used to. There was a small panicking voice in her head that said go the other way, but her presence was known now and she couldn't turn away. Cautiously, Kylie walked into the office and closed the door behind her.
As she moved into the office, she kept her eyes on the wing-backed chair. The man's voice, she noted, was rather calm and collected. Kylie moved to take a seat in one of the chairs. "What happened to Mrs. Cardenas?"
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 23, 2011 22:09:56 GMT -5
"She's fine," he said simply, still not turning around. "She found that she couldn't quite handle her entire caseload and was obliged to pass your case on to me. I apologize for the inconvenience."
He enjoyed the note of concern in her voice, and knew she was thinking of leaving. But she stayed. Hesitantly, to be sure... but he expected nothing less. He listened to her movements, cautious and unsure, as she moved into the room and sat down across from the desk. He could literally picture her, so well did he know her. He had trained her, and she had been one of his best. Siobhan, she had been a mistake, but Kylie... no, Kylie was special.
Finally, he spun the chair around in a slow and deliberate manner, and looked straight at her, silently studying her face for any signs of recognition. "I'm Dr. Burkhardt," he said smoothly. "It's a pleasure to... meet you, Miss Thorburn. May I call you Kylie?"
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 24, 2011 9:46:54 GMT -5
It was weird that Mrs. Cardenas just passed over her case, but Kylie didn't question it at the moment. She sensed that this doctor wouldn't really tell her anything else other than she had been stressed. The one person that Kylie almost trusted completely wasn't her psychiatrist anymore, and now she was going to have to start all over again.
Once he turned around, Kylie met Dr. Burkhardt's eyes. Something right away seemed familiar with his eyes, but the only thing she could remember is seeing him before in the hospital. Maybe that was why his eyes seemed so familiar.
She studied his face for a moment as he spoke. "Nice to meet you too Dr. Burkhardt," she said in greeting him. "You may call me Kylie."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 24, 2011 23:55:11 GMT -5
Walter smiled his most benign smile, the one he reserved for his patients to set them at ease. It was fake, of course, but they didn't need to know that. All that mattered was that they believed he was their friend. That they felt comfortable with him. If he appeared trustworthy, then he could usually get them to tell him everything.
"Good. Well, I'm glad to have you here with me, Kylie. Are you more comfortable sitting here at the desk, or would you prefer to sit there on the couch? This is your session, and I want to make sure you feel as comfortable with me as you did with Dr. Cardenas."
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 25, 2011 8:42:38 GMT -5
Kylie was pretty sure Dr. Burkhardt knew everything there was to know about her already. Dr. Cardenas probably shared her file and now this man sitting in front of her that she didn't know knew everything about her. Kylie wasn't sure if she felt comfortable with that, but there was nothing she could do about it now.
She moved from her chair to sit on the floor next to the couch. It was the spot she usually chose when she was in her other sessions. Crossing her legs as she sat Indian style on the floor, she looked back up to Dr. Burkhardt with a look that asked if he was going to move to the other chair or remain at his chair.
"So, what all do you already know about me," she asked him with a raised eyebrow.
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 25, 2011 15:22:08 GMT -5
The answer, of course, was everything. He knew everything there was to know about her, even things she didn't even know herself. But she most likely would not be very appreciative of that answer. He wanted her to trust him, to believe in him, and if he told her the truth right now, she would probably run from the room, never to return.
"Only what was in your file," he lied without so much as a blink. "I flipped through it, just enough to familiarize myself with your case. But I'd rather get to know you myself. Why don't you begin by telling me why you're here?"
As he spoke, he rose from the desk and made his way over to a high-backed leather chair just across from the sofa. He held a note pad and quill in his hands, preferring to make his own notes as he listened to her talk.
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 25, 2011 16:05:53 GMT -5
There could have been numerous things in her file. Kylie never saw what Dr. Cardenas wrote and some of the things that Kylie shared with the woman was only things that she wanted her to know and no one else. Now Dr. Burkhardt probably knew those things and she wasn't exactly sure how comfortable she was with him knowing those things. She didn't like the idea that he knew about her lashing out and having moments when she just did things and couldn't remember what she did or how she did it.
Kylie raised an eyebrow again at the doctor and watched as he moved from the desk to the chair near her. She watched him cautiously.
"I'm here for my weekly sessions with Dr. Cardenas, but apparently those plans have changed seeing as I'm here for my weekly sessions with you." The answer she gave had a light smart tone to it as she replied. Kylie let out a sigh knowing that Dr. Burkhardt wasn't really going to go for that. Something in the back of her mind told her that she shouldn't become smart with him.
"Well, as it probably states in my file, I started coming here because I started doing things that I didn't remember I did, like violently lashing out at people," she said with a softer tone. There was no need to hide that, since he already knew. "I-I don't remember doing those things and I don't know how it happens. However, lately, I haven't had an episode. Dr. Cardenas just wanted me to continue to come to her just to make sure that everything was still calm and I was okay. Which I am. I decided that I would humor her and continue coming because I could talk to her about everything."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 25, 2011 22:44:57 GMT -5
Walter smiled softly at her, keeping his eyes deceptively gentle. She didn't trust him, not yet. He wouldn't expect her to. Unlike Siobhan, who seemed to trust instinctively, Kylie had always taken a little longer to warm up to people. Apparently Dr. Cardenas had been seeing Kylie for quite some time, and that kind of trust took a long time to build. He would have to work carefully. But then, he'd always understood Kylie better than many of the other pupils.
"Well, I hope you understand that you can tell me everything. I'm here to help you, just like Dr. Cardenas. In time, I'm sure you will begin to trust me just as you trusted her. Why don't you tell me what is going on in your life right now? Job, friends... dating?"
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 26, 2011 10:23:07 GMT -5
She was still cautious about Dr. Burkhardt, but there was something about him that was painfully familiar, like she had spoken with him before. Kylie knew that she was just imagining things and didn't ponder too much on it. She remembered the last time that she tried so hard to remember something. It resulted in a violent out lash.
"I'm looking for a new job," she said with a shrug. "Maybe as a waitress or something. As for friends, I don't have that many. There are some people I talk to only a daily basis, but as you probably have already figured out, I don't trust that easy. I don't like for people to get too close." Dr. Cardenas was a prime example. Kylie felt close to her, now she was gone, or at least to Kylie she was gone. "I let my guard down once a couple years ago and it resulted in one of those moments when I don't remember what I did, and I ran. I haven't seen the man I did date since that day."
She grew quiet for a moment and folded her knees to her chest. "I don't date anymore for that reason. I decided that it's best not to deal with that sort of thing, especially when you can't really sort yourself out."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 26, 2011 22:18:54 GMT -5
"Very wise of you," Walter replied in an impressed tone. Of course, he actually rather expected the response from her. Most of his old trainees were not exactly good with relationships. One of them, now imprisoned in Azkaban, had accidentally murdered his girlfriend when his trigger had somehow been activated. Walter didn't feel badly about it, though... the girl was muggleborn, and the situation had been a good test of the programming and its limitations.
"It seems to me that you have a good head on your shoulders," he said smoothly. "Do you ever feel... isolated? Like maybe you don't quite fit in anywhere?"
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 26, 2011 22:31:35 GMT -5
It wasn't that Kylie didn't have a good relationship, because she did, but the reason she left was because he saw her act violently. She didn't want him to see that part of her, even though he was the one that helped calm her down. She was ashamed, so she did the only thing she knew to do, run. Kylie felt that the acceptance he had disappeared so she didn't have any reason to stay.
"I haven't really found a place to fit in," she said with a shrug. "It was like that during school, and it's still like that today. That's another reason why I don't have a specific job for a very long period of time. I feel like they either are judging me, or just don't want me there like I'm not the type of person they're looking for."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 27, 2011 17:25:12 GMT -5
Walter nodded slowly, as though deep in thought. "Most people feel that way at one time or another, but some people have a more difficult time overcoming that feeling," he said. "What I would recommend is that you work on exploring the reason for that feeling. Sometimes there is something blocking you up inside. In your file, it mentioned that you've had some memory issues. Do you think that the reason you feel out of place is because of the... fits, as you call them, or because of the memory issues? Do you think they could be related?"
He was enjoying this far more than he should be. He knew the answer all too well, and she probably had no idea. Maybe she had her suspicions, but he was curious to see just how her mind worked.
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 27, 2011 17:43:43 GMT -5
Kylie was a lot smarter than she may have appeared. She raised an eyebrow as she allowed her legs to cross again to sit in the Indian style she was before. She tilted her head a little as she looked curiously at Dr. Burkhardt.
"I don't think the reason I feel left out of place is become of the fits or the memory issues, I know it is." Kylie had already been through this, but she had to humor Dr. Burkhardt since he was her new psychiatrist. "And of course they are related. I remember right before one of the fits, I looked at my scar and I tried really hard to remember how it got there. I know the memory is somewhere in my head locked away, and I tried to get to it, but instead of unlocking the memory, I lashed out instead. When I was finally calmed down, I destroyed pretty much everything in my path and cut my hands on the mirror that I broke. Talk about seven years of bad luck. I haven't had anything really good happen to me since then."
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 27, 2011 18:13:41 GMT -5
Walter had to fight back a smile. He had expected just such an answer from her, and was pleased to hear her say it. Until this point she had not addressed the memory issues, and he had wondered if Dr. Cardenas had somehow downplayed them. He didn't actually have a very high opinion of the woman's methods, since she hadn't even attempted hypnosis with the girl, which most doctors would have done almost immediately upon hearing of the memory problems.
But then, perhaps Kylie had resisted any attempts at hypnosis. It wouldn't have surprised him, after what he had done to her mind with the training. He even had difficulty hypnotizing Siobhan most of the time.
"There are ways to explore lost memories," he said smoothly. "I wonder why Dr. Cardenas never attempted hypnosis. Or did she? There was no mention of it in her records."
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 27, 2011 18:29:20 GMT -5
"I think if those memories were supposed to be remembered, I could eventually remember them. Maybe there's a reason they're locked away. If they cause me to hurt others or even myself while trying to remember them, I don't think I want to even attempt to remember any of it."
Kylie shook her head at the mention of hypnosis. "Dr. Cardenas tried, but she failed. I never did go under like she wanted me to. She strapped me to the chair after I told her every time I try to remember something I become violent, but I had too much on my mind to go under." She sighed. "So, Dr. Cardenas never wrote it in her notes."
She looked to the ground then to Dr. Burkhardt. "With this hypnosis, would I remember going through it? Or would I end up lashing out?"
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 27, 2011 22:04:51 GMT -5
"Everyone responds to hypnosis a little differently," Walter replied. "Some are able to recount the memories, as if they were seeing them in a movie. Others find themselves reliving them... and acting them out all over again. It can be a very painful process for some people... they remember some very disturbing things, but only by remembering them can they process them and move past them. There is something blocking you up inside, Kylie, and hypnosis could help you free yourself from that block. However, it isn't without risks. Some patients can't deal with what they remember, and they regress even further."
Walter always enjoyed hypnosis. He liked to see deep into the inner recesses of people's minds; their deepest, darkest secrets. Perhaps it was a bit voyeuristic of him, but he liked knowing that most everyone had some deep, dark part of them that they hid away from the world.
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Post by Kylie Thorburn on Sept 28, 2011 13:24:47 GMT -5
Listening to Dr. Burkhardt's explanation of hypnosis made Kylie think. What if she did the hypnosis and she didn't return to her normal state? What if attempting to remember her past really made her crazy? She didn't want to have any excuse to be put into the Mental Ward because she thought it was bad enough that she went to see a psychiatrist.
Dr. Burkhardt already knew Kylie's deep, dark secrets, even though she didn't know about them herself. "I-I don't think I want to do that," she said with a small shake of her head. "I don't think I want to remember what I don't already remember. Why else would they be blocked if I'm not supposed to remember them?" She looked at him curiously.
Although, she did always wonder what was it that she wasn't supposed to remember. The curiosity was probably going to be the reason she might go over the deep end. "But, if I did the hypnosis thing," she started trying to reason with herself, "could you bring me back, like to this state? If things get too bad, is there anyway you could block it?"
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Post by Dr. Walter Everett Burkhardt on Sept 29, 2011 0:16:41 GMT -5
Of course he could. The question made him smile. He did it all the time with Siobhan. He regularly probed her memories, got her to repeat stories that her conscious mind didn't remember... then shut the memories back down again, making her forget them all over again. He would tell her that she'd been working on breathing exercises and had fallen asleep again, and she didn't think anything of it.
He could definitely do the same thing with Kylie... the only challenge would be actually getting her under in the first place. If she was resistant to it, it would be a little bit difficult. But he was still fairly confident.
"I am very good at hypnosis," he answered honestly. "Although it is true that some patients can't handle what they learn and literally go insane... that has never happened with one of my patients. I am certain I can pull you back again if your memories become too... intense."
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