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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 7, 2009 0:55:23 GMT -5
He shook his head. "But I'm not like that with her. I wish I could be... but I'm not. I just start acting like a jerk. I actually made her cry. Still think I'm a great guy?"
It hurt like hell to think about that kiss, and yet, he couldn't get it out of his mind. Clearly she had picked up on it, and that was why she kept asking about it. Maybe if he talked about it, he could get past it. But he doubted it.
"She initiated it," he admitted.
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 7, 2009 0:59:56 GMT -5
"Yes," Nathalia replied. "Actually, I do still think you're a great guy, and there's not a lot you could say to convince me otherwise. What did you do that made her cry? You know, half the time when we cry, we blame it on you guys, but we're really just being moody and not crying about anything."
Her eyes seemed to light up when he admitted who initiated the kiss, and she shook her head. "Oh Merlin, Roland. That's a good thing. She kissed you... what's the problem again? Look, just for a minute, forget this other guy that she's seeing... we'll come back to him. She kissed you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 7, 2009 1:36:56 GMT -5
As much pain as he was in, he seemed to cling to the belief that Riley hated him, despite all evidence to the contrary. Even Natalie had told him as much, and he still didn't believe it. Maybe it was easier to believe that than to actually do something about what he was feeling.
"She was crying because... well, it was a misunderstanding, but it was still my fault. Her best friend is a guy... my cousin, actually. It was Christmas, she came as my guest and Geoffrey was there... She caught me giving Geoffrey a jealous look and misinterpreted it. It was stupid... Maybe she was just over-emotional about something. But I shouldn't have been jealous of Geoffrey. And yeah... she kissed me, but, I think she just did it because we were arguing and it stirred up something. Like I said, she just wanted to get it out of her system."
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 7, 2009 1:42:40 GMT -5
"You're determined to think this girl has no interest in you. Even if she did just want to get it out of her system... well, feelings don't work like that anyway. They're not exactly something you can just get rid of. But still, that means there are feelings there that she acknowledges, and you stirred something up in her. If she was truly angry at you, she would have slapped you, not kissed you. There are two reasons a woman is ever mad... either you did something very, very wrong, and she's not talking to you for a while, or she likes you and it's easier to be angry."
While she was saying all of this, she was trying to come up with an explaination for the other guy in the picture.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 7, 2009 1:54:59 GMT -5
That last bit sounded awfully familiar to him. It was the way he acted around her. He liked her, but he didn't want to, so he fought with her. He hadn't realized until that very moment that his arguing was a defense mechanism, to keep her at a distance. Maybe it was the same for her?
He was starting to recognize that he was falling for her, and had admitted as much to Nathalia. But he still didn't want to fall in love. He was still fighting it, and right now, the idea that she might secretly feel the same way was actually the most terrifying thought in the world.
"But what about the other guy?" he asked.
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 7, 2009 2:00:08 GMT -5
She sighed, knowing they'd come back to this other guy... this other guy who was sweet and could make the girl laugh. That was just like Roland, honestly, and the difference between her and this other girl was that Roland loved this other girl.
"That's it," She said, feeling like she hit on it. "So you love her, and you're not sure how to feel about that, so you argue with her. You can be sweet to me. Now this is a long shot, and maybe I'm wrong, but what if it's the same for her? She likes this other guy, so she's nice to him, but there's something between you that she doesn't know how to deal with, so she argues bacK?"
She shrugged. "I don't really know. How long has she been seeing this guy?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 7, 2009 2:12:57 GMT -5
He took a breath. It was possible. He had been working pretty hard to deny what he was feeling, and it came out as fighting with her. But she fought back easily enough. But she clearly wasn't afraid of relationships, otherwise, why would she be dating Prewett?
"It's possible, I guess," he said at last. "They've been seeing each other... I guess a few weeks? Since before the Hogsmeade attack."
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 7, 2009 12:36:27 GMT -5
"So she kissed you on several occasions while she was dating this other guy. Does she seem like the unfaithul type?" If she was, Nathalia would try and talk Roland out of persuing her. The last thing he needed was to have his heart broken by some girl.
But if the answer was no, that this girl did seem faithful... well then, there was something going on between her and Roland.
"Maybe you just need to wait, Roland... wait for this relationship of hers to end, and then make your move."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 7, 2009 19:18:22 GMT -5
"I don't think she was seriously dating him," Roland said. "As far as I know, in fact, they'd only been out once or twice until today. She's not... she wouldn't cheat. I don't think. If she did, she'd end it, I think."
He took a sip and considered what Nathalia had said. Did he actually want to pursue Riley? He wanted her, more than he'd ever wanted any woman. But he still didn't want a relationship. And if he pursued Riley... well, it wouldn't be for a one-night stand.
Furthermore, Roland still believed she didn't want him. Nothing anyone could say would convince him otherwise--only Riley could do that. And he wasn't about to force anything on her that she didn't want. Essentially, any relationship between them was up to Riley. If she gave him an unmistakeable sign, then he would make a move. But if not... he was prepared to suffer in misery.
"I don't know if I want to pursue her at all," he said. "I kind of just want to forget."
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 7, 2009 19:25:46 GMT -5
"Then you should finish up that drink and let me make you another," Nathalia said. She bit her lip, and looked at him, every inch of her face the vixen that she was used to playing.
"Or did you come for something other than drinks, Roland?" She asked him, her voice not implying whether or not she thought it was a good idea, but rather watching him for his reaction.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 7, 2009 19:57:16 GMT -5
The alcohol was really starting to set in, and he drank a little more, trying to rush it along. His thinking was already getting a bit clouded, and the "something else" sounded awfully appealing.
His eyes took on a sleepy, hooded quality as he gazed over at her. "I'm not going to lie to you," he said. "I definitely came here looking for something other than just drinks. And I'm not talking about the advice, either. I never intended to tell you about it at all... if I had been able to hide it better, I wouldn't have said a word."
Reaching over, he laid a hand on her cheek. "But Natalia... I don't want you to think you're a substitute for her."
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 7, 2009 20:26:25 GMT -5
Nat smiled softly, putting her hand over his where it rested on her cheek. "I'm always a substitute, Roland. But it's okay." She didn't like being a substitute, but she was used to it, and he wanted to forget this other girl... how did that not make her a substitute?
"I need to catch up with you a little," she said, getting herself another drink.
She could say no... but she liked Roland, and wouldn't say no.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 8, 2009 0:42:27 GMT -5
"You deserve better than that," Roland said. "You deserve someone who won't ever see you as a substitute."
He'd heard those words before. Lina had said them to him once. He'd laughed at her at the time, thinking that he didn't want that. But he was starting to see what she meant. When Riley had kissed him, had she been focused on him? Or was she thinking about Fabian?
This unwelcome thought hit him like a slap in the face, and to combat the sting, he began to gulp down his drink.
Normally he was a pretty self-confident person. But since Riley had essentially been thrown into his life, he felt some of the confidence slipping. She had that way of making him feel like everything he did was wrong, and it had him all turned around.
"I wish I could be what you needed... or that you could be what I needed. Hell, I wish a lot of things."
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 8, 2009 11:33:37 GMT -5
Nathalia smiled. She didn't know what she needed, so how was Roland supposed to be that for her? And Roland probably needed that other girl... simple as that.
"I can be what you need tonight, Roland," she said, leaning towards him and pressing and inviting kiss to his lips. Her glass was empty, and she looked at Roland's, suspecting he would need another drink as well. She also knew that it probably wasn't going to be a good idea, going home with him, but Nathalia seemed to thrive on bad ideas.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 8, 2009 12:06:22 GMT -5
Roland responded readily to her kiss, deepening it while his hand cupped her chin. She tasted of alcohol, and her lips burned against his. This was what he needed... he needed to forget. She could erase Riley from his mind... at least for a little while.
A little part of him, in the back of his mind, told him this was a bad idea. That he was making a big mistake. Nathalia couldn't subsitute for Riley, any more than he could fulfill whatever it was Nathalia needed. There was something achingly lonely about trying to fill an emptiness with the wrong person.
But the alcohol had kicked in, and he was feeling self-destructive. Leaning just slightly forward, he reached around and pulled her off of her barstool and onto his lap.
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 8, 2009 12:31:21 GMT -5
Nathalia was a little surprised by his response to her, and she realized that he did really need someone, at least for the night. She could understand that well enough... she often tried to fill that void. Seldom did it work.
She might have been amused if she knew just how opposite she and Riley were, from looks down to personality and their jobs. She was okay not knowing this.
"Maybe we should go somewhere, Roland."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Mar 8, 2009 22:01:58 GMT -5
Roland wasn't thinking about consequences or how he would feel in the morning. He didn't want to think about anything, really. He just wanted to lose himself in her and forget everything else.
He continued to kiss her intensely, allowing his hands to roam along her body. He was already starting to feel heated, and the little bit of logic he had left reminded him that this was not the best place for this. "Yeah... yeah, I think we should probably go," he murmured, breaking their kiss.
He was a little worried about going to his apartment. After all, Riley was right next door, and the last thing he needed was for Riley to catch him with Nathalia again. He also didn't really want Nathalia to meet Riley--how awkward would that be?
On the other hand, she was out with Fabian right now, wasn't she?
At that thought, he pressed his lips against Nathalia's again, closing his eyes. He didn't even want to think about Riley's name...
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Post by Nathalia Webb on Mar 8, 2009 22:13:55 GMT -5
Nathalia took a deep breath between kisses, and she wished she were a little drunker. She already knew how she would feel in the morning, and it wasn't a pleasant thought. But his kisses were intense, and she remembered how good he could make her feel in the moment, and if anything came to fruitian with this other woman, this might be the last chance she had with Roland.
She broke away from his lips, but did nothing to stop his wandering hands. She laughed. "Roland, I work here. We need to go, okay?"
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Post by Ursula Webb on Mar 8, 2009 22:23:43 GMT -5
Ursula was out for the evening with Anna. They were on their way to Spellbound for a little close dancing, but Ursula couldn't resist stopping into Stu's to visit her daughter. She wasn't sure what Nathalia's hours were going to be tonight, and she wanted to find out when Nathalia would be home, so there wouldn't be any awkward encounters when she brought Anna home.
She was talking to Anna as she walked in. "I know the place looks dingy, and the karaoke thing is a little annoying, but it's not so bad."
She paused to look around... and came to a stop when she heard her daughter's voice. There she was, on a man's lap, laughing as he touched her.
"Well," she said loudly to Anna. "It seems we've come at a bad time."
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Post by Annalise Kennedy on Mar 8, 2009 22:28:20 GMT -5
Anna knew the loud voice was to catch her daughter's attention, and she smiled a little, but her hand on Ursula's arm.
"Be nice," she said, her voice quieter than Ursula's. "She's young, she's gorgeous, she's your daughter... she's allowed to have a little fun."
It was really just Nathalia's poor fortune that they came when they did, but she wasn't sure if Ursula was angry or not.
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