Home Again

[Roland Ferrera]

It was true; Roland had no idea what she was really worried about. He was thinking something else entirely, although both related to the fear of him possibly leaving her. He thought she was afraid he might decide to walk out on her one day, as her father had done when she was a little girl. He wouldn't, of course... the very idea of doing so was utterly unthinkable to him. He would have sooner ripped off his right leg than leave her. He loved her too much.

He knew the laugh was fake, but, for now, anyway, he wasn't going to push it. He wanted her to break down, if that was what she needed to do... anything so that there would be no more barriers between them. But tonight was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be about being young and in love and not having a care in the world. So he smiled and kissed her forehead. "Good," he said. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Looping his arm around her shoulders, he began walking again. They only had a few more blocks until they got to Galligan's.

[Riley Neves]

"And you know I'm pretty persistent. I would find you."

Her smile was teasing, but loving all the same, and she leaned into him as they walked. Everything felt normal when she was with Roland, and safe, and real. She lived for the way she felt around him now... but part of her was worried she might scare him off if she admitted this to him.

"It doesn't look like Galligan's very busy," she said as they approached the restaurant. "Nice choice. I approve." She was teasing him again, of course.

[Roland Ferrera]

"I think if I ever did leave, I'd probably go very slow, just to let you catch me," he replied with a crooked grin. "But I'm not going anywhere."

He actually felt much the same way she did. It almost scared him how much he needed her. He was the guy who had always acted so independent and self-assured, and he never would have admitted to needing anyone, not even when he was a little boy. But he needed her, and he had no problem admitting it. He felt complete when they were together, and he never wanted to lose that feeling.

"Good," he said, laughing. "I'm glad you approve." He pulled away just slightly to open the door for her. "This is what you're supposed to do on a date, right? Open all the doors and pull out the chairs?"

[Riley Neves]

Riley laughed. "I don't know... I never really did the dating thing," Riley told him, choosing not to comment on his assurances that he wasn't going anywhere. That wasn't really the problem, afterall. Her fear was that he was already gone, and she was going crazy, making up his existance to keep herself from feeling the pain. She was just messed up in the head, and it had gotten to the point now where even when he was around, she was never really sure.

"But I don't mind if you open doors and pull out chairs and things. I kind of like it."

He got her mind going down a dangerous path, and she didn't want to be there. Just before she stepped inside the open door, she turned towards him. "Hey," she said, just catching his attention before she put her hand behind his neck and kissed him.

[Roland Ferrera]

He was taken by surprise by the kiss, but he wasn't about to complain. There, in the open doorway to the restaurant, he kissed her back hungrily. He had wanted to do it since the moment she opened the apartment door. One arm curled around her waist, while the other hand rested against her cheek, caressing it lightly.

But there was that urgency again. He didn't understand it. Somehow it felt like she was clinging to him, like something terrible would happen if she didn't kiss him right in that moment.

[Riley Neves]

Riley pulled away, her eyes closed for a moment, and then she lifted her gaze to meet his. "Te amo demasiado," she whispered to him. It was a phrase she'd said before, back before she could admit that she loved him like that. I love you too much. She had a habit of slipping into Portuguese when she had something she needed desperately to say, but that she wasn't sure she wanted him to hear.

A moment later, she blinked and smiled. "I think the wait staff saw that," she said with a quiet little laugh, and then took his hand again. "Come on, I'm starving."

[Roland Ferrera]

He remembered the phrase, and he smiled when she said it. He loved her just as desperately as she loved him, and sometimes it was good to hear that she felt the same way, even if she didn't say it in English. Later, he would have to ask her why she had kissed him so urgently, or why she had slipped into Portugese again, but for now, he just wanted to enjoy the night.

"I love you, too," he whispered.

Pulling back, he smiled. "I'm not sure what I did to deserve that, but I'll have to do it again."

Then he pressed a quick kiss on her forehead before she took his hand again. He squeezed it, then led her up to the hostess station and gave his name to the young woman sitting there.

[Riley Neves]

"You don't have to do anything," Riley told him with a smile. "I just love you and have to make sure you understand sometimes."

But he understood, she knew. She honestly believed, on top of every fear she had, that they could be very happy together. They made a great couple, worked well together, filled in the other's blanks. They were something Riley never thought existed... perfect for each other.

The girl sat them at a table near the kitchen. The table was set with two candles and very pretty place settings, and Riley adored the whole atmosphere overall. She could get used to going on dates with Roland.

[Roland Ferrera]

As they sat down at the table, Roland pulled the chair out for her to sit down, trying to show her that he could pull out all the stops. He wasn’t really doing it to impress her, though. He was doing it because he loved her and wanted to prove it to her in a thousand different little ways.

Once she was seated, he sat down, too, then reached across the table to take her hand in his. “It still sort of surprises me, you know? I mean… I know you love me, but sometimes I’m just so surprised by it. There was a time when I really didn’t think it was ever going to happen. I can’t tell you how happy I am that I was wrong. And that might be the first time I’ve ever said those words,” he added with a laugh.

He couldn’t help smiling as he looked at her. She was really so beautiful tonight… she took his breath away. He found himself wondering how she would look in a white dress and veil, or 9 months pregnant and about to burst, or with a baby in her arms. Every image that came to his mind was equally beautiful, and he ached with tenderness for her.

“You know…. I never told you this, but I remember the first time I saw you at the Ministry.”

[Riley Neves]

Riley glanced up at him, finding him so incredibly sweet tonight. He was really doing everything he could to play a proper gentleman, and it made her smile. "Thank you," she told him when he pulled out the seat for her.

"And when was the first time you saw me at the Ministry?" She was curious, after all. It could have been in passing, or was it the first time they met? "And even better.... what did you think?"

She laughed a little bit. "Or do I not want to know?"

[Roland Ferrera]

Roland laughed as well, but he kept his eyes on her. "No, it's good. I wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't."

He paused to take a sip from the glass of water that the waiter had discreetly placed in front of hm when he came by to bring their menus. When he looked up again, he was wearing his trademark lopsided grin on his face. "When you first started at the ministry, I was away on a mission. My first day back, you breezed past me in the hallway on your way out and I remember thinking you were beautiful. Later in the day, you came back and I saw you talking to Vincent, and I was watching you from my desk. I went and asked Hayden who the hot new girl was."

He laughed. "We also had an argument once. Do you remember it? I think I was in a hurry and I cut in front of you in the cafeteria to get some coffee. Did you notice me before that?"

[Riley Neves]

Riley blushed at that first story. To be honest, she didn't think Roland ever noticed her until that day they were assigned together. He'd missed her through five years of school, after all, and they were even in the same house.

"Actually," Riley said, "I noticed you once in school. I didn't know who you were, and I didn't even realize it until recently, but you and Hayden were talking in front of me on the way to Hogsmeade. You must have been in your 7th year. I didn't pay much attention to it, and I really can't tell you what you were talking about, but I remember listening for a while. But I don't remember yelling at you for cutting at the cafeteria." She shrugged. "I remember seeing you around a lot."

[Roland Ferrera]

It honestly would have been tough to miss her in the auror office. His desk was across the aisle from his, and he'd had a good view of her from there. There had actually been a couple of times when he had considered asking her out. The thing that stopped him, of course, was that he did not date. One look at her had told him that she would never be the one-night stand type, and at the time, that was all the committment he was prepared to make. And if he tried pulling that with a co-worker, his mother would have never let him hear the end of it.

As it turned out, it was for the best. Because now they were in a good place, and he was sure that would not have happened a few years earlier. He had been too immature and was not ready for a relationship.

"I definitely don't remember that. I shudder to think what I might have been talking about at that time... Hayden really put up with a lot of crap from me... I really was quite full of myself back then. Hard to imagine, isn't it?"

[Riley Neves]

"It's weird. I don't remember what you were talking about, but I remember listening to you for a while. Whatever you were saying, I was interested.

She shrugged. She did of course remember him ffom around the office, but she'd been so focused on work that her social skills lacked. She smiled, setting her chin in her hand. "Geoffrey put up with a lot of crap from me, too, when were in school."

She took a sip of her water. "Okay, now it's time. I want to know everything."

[Roland Ferrera]

He started to laugh as he looked at her. It was almost as if she knew he had been stalling when he mentioned the first time he saw her. That was the kind of thing he wanted her to know; that he thought she was beautiful and that she had interested him long before they ever actually knew each other, even if he had failed to notice her in school. But honestly, what else could he tell her that she didn't already know?

Picking up his menu, he gave her a playful look. "Shouldn't we order first?" he teased.

For a couple of seconds, he hid his face behind the menu, then lifted it just enough to peek out over the edge. When he did, it was obvious that he was smiling. "OK, seriously, you're going to have to just ask me questions, because I can't think of anything interesting to tell you."

[Riley Neves]

"Well, until the waiter gets here to take our order...." Riley trailed off, teasing him a little.

His words made her grin, though, and she folded her hands on the table in front of her. "I could ask questions all night. You're going to be talking for most of this date. You never really told me the whole story about how you helped deliver Amandine. I mean, I know that your dad and brothers were in Hogsmeade... how did you feel, though? How did you know what to do?"

The question was double purposed.... to some degree, she knew it would make her feel better about her own child. She wanted to hear about how he felt about children, everything like that. Ama just seemed like a goo way to ask.

[Roland Ferrera]

Roland couldn’t help but smile at her. From anyone else, the probing questions would probably have caused him to shut down. But he did want her to know him, to let him inside. He wanted for the two of them to know each other so well that they could finish each other’s sentences and anticipate each other’s thoughts and needs.

“Well, as much as I love the sound of my own voice, love, don’t forget… I’m going to want to ask you some questions, too. If I have to tell you everything, you have to share some things with me, too.”

He knew she wouldn’t like it, and that there were parts of her past that she hated talking about. And he wouldn’t push her to talk about them… not yet. But there was so much else that he wanted to know.

At her question, he hesitated. It wasn’t that he had a problem with the subject. But he knew why she was asking it, and he wanted to put her mind at ease. “Remember, I wasn’t alone. I had the neighbor helping, and she mostly told me what to do. I was scared out of my mind, even though I’d seen my mother when she was in labor with Jamie, too. I mostly just stayed with my mother and held her hand, while the neighbor did most of the work. I didn’t actually watch the baby coming out. But when Ama was born, I got to cut the cord. That was… weird, but kind of cool. And then the neighbor--Mrs. Phelps—she gave Ama to me to hold until Mum was ready. I only actually held her for a minute, but I remember when she looked up at me… I felt like I grew up in that moment. I just knew I’d do anything to make sure she was safe and happy.”

[Riley Neves]

"Yeah, you can ask me questions. Just stop me whenever you want."

She paused, drinking her water while she listened to Roland talk about that day. She watched his eyes, mostly, looking for his reactions to his memories there, and she sighed quietly, contently. She was still convinced that should she utterly fail as a mother, Roland would make up for it. Their child would be well loved, at least.

"Did you ever have pets growing up?" She asked, not bothering to explain to him the correlation in her mind. "I always kind of thought that Amandine would have loved a puppy or a kitten or something. I can see you training it for her."

[Roland Ferrera]

"We always wanted a pet," Roland said. "Unfortunately, Cyrus is allergic to cats and dogs, so we could never have one. I used to say we could just trade in Cyrus and get a dog... Mum was never too happy with me when I said that." He laughed at the memory. "But you know, Ama agreed with me, so we were always trying to convince Jamie to take our side as well, but... well, you know how Jamie is. He didn't really want to be bothered."

He shook his head, thinking back on those days. He and Cyrus had fought often, usually about little things, and he could barely remember most of them now. And yet, now he felt close to his younger brother, even if he still teased him most of the time. It seemed like a metaphor for many of his relationships, including his love for Riley. It had not always been good, but once he let her into his heart, everything changed for the better.

"Anyway, we did have one pet. I got Ama a rabbit when she was about 7 or 8. She kept it outside in a hutch. It died just a couple of years ago."

[Riley Neves]

"What was the rabbit's name?" Riley asked the next logical question that came to mind. "I bet Amandine was heartbroken when it died."

Riley didn't really think that Phoenix would have been Roland's first dog, or first real pet. He seemed like a natural with the dork, and with kids. Or Mara and Ama at least.

"In between being Robin Hood and a Dragon Tamer, what did you want to do? Did you have any big dreams for your life, grand adventures you wanted to go on before it was too late?"

Her tone was more fun now, less frantic, though she still felt desperate to know every last detail of who he was.