|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 5, 2009 22:22:39 GMT -5
He got the message. He was, after all, rather similar to her in that regard. It was a mark of how much he loved Riley that he allowed her to get so deep into his head. No one else had ever really done that before.
"All right," he said, holding up his hands. "I promise I'm not preaching. You're entitled to live your life the way you want. It's just.... in a lot of ways, you remind me of myself. Or how I used to be."
He let the subject drop then, taking a long sip from his drink. Perhaps loosened a little by the alcohol, he said, "My parents are having trouble. Apparently, they split up while I was... away. My dad moved into my apartment for a while. He's back home now... but I get the feeling there's still something wrong. And you know, seeing them stay together all this time and still be so happy and in love with each other.... It's kind of the reason I believe Riley and I can last. But if they don't work it out...." He trailed off in a sigh.
"I feel like I should fix it, because it's sort of my fault."
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Sept 5, 2009 22:34:36 GMT -5
Nathalia just gave him a look until he let the subject drop. Part of the reason she liked being a bartender was that she never had to talk about herself. Drunk people were usually pretty self absorbed, and she was good at dealing with other people's problems. She could only deal with hers while pretending that they didn't exist.
"It's not your fault." The words were quick to come out of her mouth, and she bit her lip to stop and think of a better way to explain why to him. "You can't fix other people's relationships, Roland. You're trying to fix mine, you're trying to fix your parents'.... you have to focus on your own relationships, because those are the only ones you have any influence over. If your parents have been happily married for twenty some odd years, then they will find a way to work this out. And it was probably losing you that put a strain on in... and you being back doesn't magically fix anything. But when they work this out, they'll be stronger for it. And you can't base your relationship with Riley on anyone else's relationship, even good ones, or you're setting it up to fail."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 5, 2009 22:51:12 GMT -5
Roland sighed. "I can't help it, you know? I'm a fixer. I did the same thing when my brother Cyrus was estranged from the family.... I kept trying to fix things. In the end, I think Cyrus mostly worked it out for himself. But it's just... You know. I want to save the world and make everything OK for everyone. I think I'm like my mother that way..."
Realizing this, he took an extra long sip from his drink. He had always thought of himself as being more like his father, but in that moment, he realized that he was wrong. He was more like his mother, and that was probably why they clashed the way they did.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Sept 6, 2009 10:49:21 GMT -5
"Which means you'll be a wonderful husband and a wonderful father some day, and for now, you're a wonderful son and brother. But sometimes, you still have to step back and let people hurl themselves into their own fate... and the best you can do is be there to either congratulate them, or help pick up the pieces. You can't just fix other people's lives, as much as you may want to."
Her lips pressed together for a moment while she considered his predicament, and then she shrugged. "Invite them over for dinner. Or go to their place for dinner. It will force them to interact with each other, and maybe it'll help a little."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 16, 2009 22:38:41 GMT -5
Roland nodded. "Yeah, I know you're right. It's always hard for me to admit that there are things I can't control. I just.... I want everything to be OK again."
It was naive. He knew that. He'd seen too much of the world to know that everything could ever be perfect and peaceful and harmonious. It never had been, and it never would be. And yet, that was what he was working for, wasn't it? That was what he'd been so willing to sacrifice himself for. And now that he had Riley, he could almost see that happy, perfect future, and he wanted it so badly that it hurt.
He sighed and took a sip from his drink. "Yeah... I might try that. I owe them a dinner anyway. It's the least I can do after the way I scared them. My mother owls me every morning to make sure I'm still here."
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Sept 29, 2009 13:12:01 GMT -5
"You can't blame your Mum for that. Hell, if I were you, I'd want my mum to owl me every morning just so that I could make sure I was still here." She shrugged and took a sip of her drink, her eyes looking him over. He looked really good. Whoever had been taking care of him for the last couple of months had done their job. That, and he did have that new relationship glow. She hoped that didn't fade away. After what she'd read he'd been through, he deserved a little happiness.
"It's really good to see you, though," Nathalia told him. "You would have been embarrassed by all the people at your funeral." She grinned. "And you sly dog... I didn't know you had a thing with Paige Owen." She remembered sitting next to the girl at the funeral and figuring out as quickly as Riley had that there had been at least one night between them.
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 30, 2009 0:56:12 GMT -5
Roland let out a laugh. "Ah, Paige... Riley told me she was covering the story of my 'death'. Ironic, really... I met her a couple of years ago in Edinburgh... she was a dancer then." He gave her a raised-eyebrow look, as if that explained everything.
Taking another sip of his drink, he gave her one of his lopsided grins. "I really hope that all the girls I slept with didn't show up for the funeral... There are a few I would rather Riley not know about."
As he said that, another realization occurre to him, and his smile fell. "Bellatrix wasn't there, was she?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Sept 30, 2009 15:11:40 GMT -5
Nathalia smiled a little. "Well, it might stroke your ego a bit to know that Riley was not happy with me or Paige being there." She wouldn't say more than that, but she knew it was a stroke of jealousy that drive Riley to confront them that day.
"She loves you, you know. You shouldn't ever doubt that... I've barely ever talked to her and I can tell."
She almost laughed when he asked if Bellatrix had made an appearance, and shook her head. "No... no, she wasn't there, though I'm sure she sent her condolences." She almost blushed as she thought of the other girl, and shook her head. "Man... that was a night. I had a wicked hangover the next day."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 30, 2009 18:17:36 GMT -5
Roland's lip twitched. "Well, some people would say that my ego is big enough already, and it doesn't need stroking," he teased. "But thank you. I admit... I can be a little insecure where she's concerned. It's just that we started off so badly... She really had every right to hate me. The fact that she doesn't still kind of amazes me. I am sorry if she was hard on you, though... She knew about you. She actually saw us together that first night."
He decided to leave out the fact that they had argued about her. Nathalia didn't need to know about that argument. It was over now.
At the mention of the hangover, he nodded and rubbed his head in memory. "So did I... worst I've ever had, actually. I thought my head was going to explode. I really only have hazy memories of that whole night. I swear... I'll never drink like that again."
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Sept 30, 2009 23:34:53 GMT -5
"Ah," Nathalia said, nodding. "That explains a little. I just thought she had wicked intuition. She had a right to be angry with us," she added with a shrug. "Neither of us really paid her much mind. Not that we ignored her..." she stopped and rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."
Her mind wandered back to that night not too long ago, and the smile on her lips was a shy, embarrassed one. She had more than hazy memories of the evening, and she couldn't say that she really regretted it. It had been fun, come to that. But in a way, it was also sort of bittersweet, almost a last hurrah for Roland. He had to be responsible, now.
"They always say they won't drink that much again... and then they do. You'll break my heart if you don't come in for some of my drinks every so often, you know."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Oct 2, 2009 9:02:14 GMT -5
Roland smiled lightly. "Well, I suppose never say never...." he replied. "But I really am going to try never to get that drunk again. Riley doesn't really like when I drink. Besides... I don't really feel good about my behavior that night. I was using you as a substitute, and then I brought another girl along as well. It was... Well, it wasn't my finest moment. You're a good friend, and I never wanted to hurt you."
Although she didn't regret the night, he did. He didn't even remember a lot of it, and it wasn't like him to lose control so completely. Even if he'd stayed in control and kept to his original decision of bringing just Nathalia home that night, he wouldn't have been proud of his actions. It had been obvious to both of them that he was using her as a subsitute, and that was wrong. Nathalia never should have accepted being a substitute for anyone.
"But I promise I'll stop by for a drink once in a while."
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Oct 7, 2009 0:33:44 GMT -5
Nathalia, now feeling incredibly uncomfortable, shrugged it off. "You didn't hurt me. I had fun." The fact that she felt uncomfortable under his apologies should have told her that no, she didn't have fun that night. She did let herself be used, and she knew it. She could only blame the alcohol for so much.
Finally, she waved it off. "Anyway, what's done is done. You better visit for a drink, though. I promised Hayden that any Ferrera drinks for free here. Well, as long as I'm running the bar. I also get the bittersweet impression that I'll only get to see you when you come in here. You have been a good friend, Roland, and I would hate to lose that."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Oct 7, 2009 1:04:12 GMT -5
His smile was sad. "You never know... we do live in the same building. We could run into each other there."
But they both knew that, from here on out, their friendship would be limited. He wasn't even sure he'd be able to come in here much at all after this. Not that Riley would order him not to... but he knew she wouldn't like it. How could he tell her not to be threatened by his friendship with Nathalia when he was still vaguely jealous of Geoffrey, even though he knew he had no reason to be?
"We're still friends," he said. "If you ever need anything, I'll be there for you. And I promise to stop by for a drink whenever I can."
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Oct 11, 2009 22:44:00 GMT -5
Nathalia laughed, though it was a nervous, unsure laugh and it sounded so unlike her.
"Look, Roland... I'm not so good at goodbyes. Which is ironic, because I never seem to be able to keep people around. But my point is, I know this isn't really a goodbye, even if it feels like one. All the same, I just want to say thank you. You were there for me when I really needed it, and that meant a lot. You know where to find me if you ever need me."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Oct 12, 2009 22:12:22 GMT -5
Roland let out a soft sigh. Without meaning to, he had hurt her, and he hated that. Even though they had both known that there was no future in a relationship between them, they had still shared something, a moment in time, and that moment was now passed. And even though he was happy and desperately in love with Riley, he was not insensitive to the fact that Nathalia was hurting.
So he pulled her into a quick hug. "You're welcome," he said. "And the same goes for you. If you need anything... just come to me."
Riley wouldn't like it, of course... and he honestly couldn't blame her. As jealous as he was of her friendship with Geoffrey, at least she had never slept with Geoffrey. Roland's friendship with Nathalia, unfortunately, mostly consisted of sex. How could he ask Riley not to be threatened?
"You're going to be OK, you know. You'll figure it out. Whatever it is you need to figure out."
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Oct 24, 2009 0:13:07 GMT -5
Nathalia smiled and waved his final words off. "Stop talking like that. I find it kind of patronizing. Who says this isn't exactly what I'm looking for?" She gestured around the grimey little bar, and rolled her eyes for effect. She loved working here, and she loved Stu.
"Who knows? Maybe I'll go back to New York." She just stopped herself from admitting that she felt like she fit in better there, because that wasn't quite true. It was just easier to be anonymous in New York than it was here.
"Anyway, go. Get back to your girlfriend. I'll be here if you need a drink."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Oct 25, 2009 0:06:48 GMT -5
He raised an eyebrow. "Are you kicking me out?" he said, his tone light.
He did need to get back, and he already missed Riley terribly, but he felt like he couldn't leave without knowing she'd be OK. And despite her words, she was definitely not OK. That bright smiile and sparkle in her eyes that had attracted him to her in the first place was not quite there.
Finally, he stood up and pulled her into a quick hug. "I wish you every happiness," he said sincerely. "And if you decide to go to New York, you'd better leave someone with the instructions for making Double Oh Sevens."
He winked at this, then turned to leave.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalia Webb on Nov 5, 2009 14:36:50 GMT -5
"Never. You're welcome to stay as long as you like," Nathalia replied, giving him an honest, warm smile. "But you also look like you're eager to head out."
She hugged him back, sighing softly and wishing she didn't feel like she was losing something. Most guys she went home with did not affect her like this.
"If I go to New York, you're going to have to come visit me for a Double Oh Seven. Sorry, mister," she said with a little laugh. "You'll manage with the boring drinks everyone else mixes. But I'll see you around," she said, taking a cloth in her hands and looking like she was going to get back to work. It would take her mind off of things, at the very least.
"Stay safe going home."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Nov 10, 2009 23:13:37 GMT -5
He hated the feeling that he had somehow done something wrong with her. He had hurt her without ever meaning to, and he just hoped that somehow she could find happiness, in some form or another. Maybe it wouldn't even be love; maybe it would be her art, or maybe she would find joy in travel. But she was a tough girl, and no matter what happened or where she ended up, he was pretty sure she'd land on her feet. He just hated knowing that he had caused her pain.
"OK, fair enough," Roland said, nodding at her. "But I'm going to have to selfishly hope you stay here, in that case. I'm not sure Riley will understand if I take a trip to New York just for a drink."
He smiled one more time. "I'll see you around," he said at last. Then he turned and was gone.
|
|
