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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 5, 2008 18:05:56 GMT -5
"Nonsense," Cara said, giving him a look that told him he wasn't getting away without telling them everything, or at least enough to satisfy her. "You've been gone for five months, there are rumors flying all over the department about you. There must be *something* for you to share with us, right?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 5, 2008 18:40:01 GMT -5
Roland exhaled softly. Rumors? Merlin only knew what manner of rumors were going around about him. It seemed that the more one tried to avoid the spotlight, the more brightly it shown. He rather assumed people didn't know who he was, because he kept to himself while at the office. But perhaps being from the best known family of aurors was enough to make him worth talking about.
"What kind of rumors?" he asked innocently
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 5, 2008 22:16:35 GMT -5
"Oh, let's not worry about it," Cara said, waving it away. Whenever something happened in that office, it spread. "And anyway, every seems to be more interested in Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks."
She made sure dinner was set out and that everyone was set to eat before flashing a smile at her eldest son. "I want to hear it all from you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 5, 2008 22:57:10 GMT -5
Roland pressed his lips together in a tight smile. Merlin, how he hated this. He loved his parents, but he did not like talking about his personal life with anyone, even them. "Everything looks great, Mum," he said.
He shot a look at his father, whose expression was not sympathetic. Apparently, whatever these rumors were, he'd heard them, too. "Even I heard about Ted and Andromeda," he said, trying to change the subject. "The whole thing seemed sort of dodgy to me. I don't know Tonks well, but he doesn't seem the sort to do something like that...."
At his mother's expression, however, he trailed off. Evasive tactics weren't going to work, and he didn't even have his younger siblings to distract them tonight. "OK, fine. But I don't know what you want me to tell you. I told you why I didn't catch the Death Eaters. What else is it that you want to know?"
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 5, 2008 23:05:55 GMT -5
"You were gone for months, Roland."
It was stated softly, almost like she was hurt when she mentioned it. "And you're my son. Is it so wrong that I've missed you? What happened at your mission was one day."
If she laid the uilt trips on long enough, maybe he'd break. And were this any one of her other children, she would assume they were hiding something. It was entirely possible that Roland didn't have anything to say, but she refused to accept that.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 5, 2008 23:19:50 GMT -5
His mother was one of the few people who could break through his defenses. She knew the right buttons to push, and she almost always succeeded in making him feel like a little boy. This time was no exception.
He looked away from her, his food still untouched on his plate. "I missed you, too, Mum. Both of you."
For a moment, he was silent, appearing to be chewing on the inside of his lower lip. Finally, he turned back and looked at her, then at his father. "I was almost killed," he said softly. "I let my guard down, I was distracted... a killing curse passed about an inch to the let of me... It struck the muggle family's dog instead."
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 3:11:02 GMT -5
That had been a little more than Cara had bargained for. So Roland had been hiding something, and she could see that it was eating him.
"Listen to me, Roland. It could have been one of their family members... it could have been you. And their forces are getting stronger, better, more skilled, more reckless. It's not your fault, and I know you think it is."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 3:19:02 GMT -5
Roland shook his head and avoided his mother's eyes. "It should have been me. It would have been... it was just sheer luck that it wasn't. I should have been more careful... I shouldn't have hesitated. It's not an excuse to say that they're getting better... I should be getting better." He let out a sigh. "I know... It's just a dog. But it was innocent and it didn't deserve what happened to it. And the muggle girl was so upset..."
He still couldn't get the girl's face out of his head. It haunted him at night. He was supposed to be defending these people and he'd very nearly failed. Was this what the rumors were about?
"I let you down," he mumbled, not looking at them.
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 3:30:02 GMT -5
"But the girl doesn't remember, right?" Memory charms were marvelous things. Except that Roland was in pain and she couldn't take that away from him. She wanted to, she hated seeing anything bother him.
"I know... you don't want to hear this, but the Neves girl... is very good at what she does."
And suddenly, things clicked into place. She understood why Angelique had given him a partner, especially one as methodical as Riley Neves.
"You'll get better, and I know you. You won't let it happen again."
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Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 11:58:54 GMT -5
Mathieu listened to Roland's story with increasing anxiety. He was mostly focused on the fact that he had come very close to losing his oldest son. This realization caused him to feel even more anxious about Cyrus. He'd be starting his first mission soon, and they were on the outs. Roland was right; they needed to try and work things out with him before he was placed in harm's way.
He shared his wife's confidence that Roland had learned from the experience and that he would not allow anything like this to happen again. But he hated to see Roland torturing himself over something like this; the boy had always been a perfectionist. Failure was not an option for him. And now, being forced to work with a partner, it was bound to be a slap to his ego.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 12:08:28 GMT -5
"She remembers that she used to have a dog and now she doesn't," he said. "And I remember the look on her face when she saw it dead on the ground. I arranged for her to have a new dog, but it's not really the same, is it?"
Roland bristled at the mention of his new partner. "I'm good at what I do, too," he said tensely. "Usually, anyway. I only slipped up this one time... and it was because they preyed on my weakness." He had a weakness for children; it kicked his protective instincts into overdrive. Putting the muggle girl in the line of fire had halted him; and because of it, the dog was dead, he was just barely alive, and the death eaters were free. And they knew that he could identify them. This knowledge haunted him most of all; what if they came back for him... or for his family?
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 18:57:45 GMT -5
Cara didn't know how to make her son feel better, especially when he was always so good at hiding his emotions anyway, and she gave a quick, desperate look towards her husband.
"You are good, Roland," she sighed. "And no matter what you think, you didn't let us down. You're alive, and you saved a family. That means a lot. I'm sure the parents would much rather have their daughter than their dog... I know. I understand." She reached across the table to take his hand.
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Post by Mathieu Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 19:43:23 GMT -5
Mathieu nodded. "The most important things are that you're alive, and you're here to learn from your mistakes. You know what your weakness is now; all you have to do is be aware of it and learn how to work around it in the future. Given the circumstances, the outcome was really the best you could have hoped for. And I know your mother and I are just glad that you're OK. You'll do better next time. I know you're angry about getting a partner, but it really may work out for the best."
He gave his son a hopeful smile. "No matter what happens, we're proud of you, son. You're doing a great job. This job really is a lot more dangerous now than it has ever been in the 20 years I've been doing it. But we have faith in you."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 6, 2008 20:21:05 GMT -5
Roland squeezed his mother's hand, then gave them each a small smile. "Thanks," he said. "And you're right. The important thing is to learn from this and not let it happen again. And I won't."
Pulling away slightly, he took a sip from his drink. "You know, I had no intentions of telling you any of this when I came over here today. I don't want to make you worry about me. I really am fine. And the rest of my mission really was pretty uneventful. Are people really talking about me?"
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 10, 2008 2:53:32 GMT -5
Cara smiled softly, but almost conspiritorially. "Roland, sweetheart, since you learned how to talk, you have never intended to tell me much. And yet, you always do. I'm your mother, Roland. I am always going to worry about you."
She took a sip of tea and made a slight shrug at his question. "They're just wondering what happened on your mission. You know how people can be. They catch a whiff of intrigue, and they pounce on it. I wouldn't worry."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 10, 2008 9:40:12 GMT -5
Roland gave a sardonic smile. "It's just my luck that I had to be born into a loving, affectionate, and communicative family," he commented. "You always manage to force these things out of me, whether I want you to or not. You really should try that guilt technique on the death eaters. You're very good at it."
His mother was one thing, but office rumors were entirely another. It bugged him to think that people were talking about him; people who barely even knew him. He couldn't help but wonder what Cyrus had heard. He did not like the idea of his younger brother thinking that he had failed in something. Roland was supposed to be the tough one, and he didn't like admitting failure to anyone.
"They can wonder all they want, I'm not about to enlighten them," he said. "It's none of their business. And I really don't want the kids to know how close I came to not coming back. It would scare them, especially Ama."
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 17, 2008 0:21:11 GMT -5
"It scares me, honestly," Cara said, sighing as she frowned. "It bothers me more because I know if anyone in the Auror department could survive, it would be you, and they still nearly got you. I couldn't bear to lose any of you. Which is why I hope Cyrus comes to his senses soon enough and comes back to the family."
She couldn't help but bring it up, especially since Roland had her thinking about it anyway.
"Anyway, it doesn't matter what any of them think, and I'm sure it will be forgotten about soon enough."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 17, 2008 0:42:39 GMT -5
Roland could have pointed out that she could also come to her senses and accept her granddaughter into the family, but he felt he had pushed enough on that subject for the evening. A chat with Cyrus was going to be necessary, and he could already see that both sides were going to have to take baby steps toward a reconciliation.
Roland found the whole thing to be rather silly. What was the point in standing one's ground against family? So much time was wasted that way.
He gave his mother a smile. "Well, I really didn't want to scare you," he said. "That's why I didn't want to tell you about it. But I'm fine. It'll take a little more than that to get to me."
In truth, Roland was not afraid of dying for what he believed in. He would never tell his mother this, but he believed in his work so deeply, that he would be proud to die in the fight, so long as his death would save others. But he also didn't intend to die for a long time.
"So what else is going on around here?" he asked, deflecting any further conversation about himself. "I've missed so much."
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Post by Cara Ferrera on Dec 19, 2008 2:14:32 GMT -5
"Yes, I know," Cara replied softly. "But you know I would have only worried more had you aid nothing about it. It's my job to worry about you, and I imagine th worst unless you set me straight."
"Nothing terribly excting is going on around here," She replied to her son's question. "Jaime and Ama are just in school, getting ready for a Yule Ball... I don't think either of them have dates yet, but I could be wrong. You know how quiet Jamie is."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Dec 19, 2008 11:17:55 GMT -5
Roland supposed that, as a mother, it had to be rather frustrating for her to have a son like him; one who kept a lot to himself and never seemed to "need" a mother's guidance. He had always been fiercely independent and had spent more time trying to take care of his younger siblings than allowing his parents to take care of him.
"Jamie is more like me than I would like," he said with a small smile. They were both quiet and kept a lot of things private, and of course, they both doted on Amandine. He hoped, for his mother's sake, that Jamie would open up as he got older. "I'm glad we're all going to be working close by the school, so we can keep an eye on the both of them. Ever since I heard about Katie's death, I've been worried about them. I'm glad I'm going to be working on the murder case... whoever killed that girl needs to be punished."
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