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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 7, 2009 0:51:02 GMT -5
Riley let him gather her in his arms. She always tried to be strong and self sufficiant, but sometimes, it just felt good knowing that he was there and that he was protecting her. She needed him more than she would admit most days, even when she admitted it to him. And while she didn't believe for a second that she had good instincts or would make a good mother, his assurances made her feel better.
Riley just had so much love in her to give out that even if she had no maternal instincts at all, at least her child would be loved.
"I think you and I have already proven we can make it through anything," she said, raising one eyebrow at him. "I think we'll be okay. It's just the baby I'm worried about."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 7, 2009 1:30:01 GMT -5
There was a part of him that wished she wouldn't doubt herself. After all, he believed in her, why couldn't she believe in herself? In that moment, he hated the neglectful mother and absent father, as well as the good-for-nothing stepborther, who had all made her doubt her own worth.
"The baby is going to be fine," Roland said confidently. "It'll be loved, maybe more than any other baby has ever been. And she's a fighter.... she'd have to be to be our kid."
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 7, 2009 1:35:38 GMT -5
"She's already had to fight and proven herself," Riley commented. The entire time Roland was pretending to be dead had been a fight for their baby, through the lack of sleep, the eating, the stress, several attempts at their lives, and a couple of cruciatus curses...
As Riley listed these things off mentally, she shivered. "It's kind of a miracle that she's still with us, isn't it?"
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 7, 2009 2:00:54 GMT -5
At this point, Roland was really getting into the idea of having a little girl. If it turned out to be a boy, he would be pretty shocked.
"If I had known you were pregnant... I never would have put you through all this. We really should have been more careful. If it had taken much longer to find Lyle, you would have had some major explaining to do."
He sighed and kissed her softly. "Anyway, the important thing is that our baby is healthy and strong. TYhe worst is beind us... at least until the baby's born..."
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 7, 2009 2:07:48 GMT -5
"I'm still not even showing," she murmured, her voice going quiet because of their proximity. The music still played in background, and everything felt safe in his arms like this. They would be okay, in the end. And their baby... well, she would be okay, too.
"Let's say it is a girl," she said, focusing on the positive things, like she knew Roland was trying to get her to do. "What should we name her? I mean, we've already figured out a color scheme..."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 7, 2009 2:16:41 GMT -5
He honestly hadn't even thought of names. Once you started thinking of names, it seemed to become more real. This was a little person, that they were going to be responsible for. She would have her own hopes and dreams and fears. She would be her own person, a little piece of each of them, but still her own person.
It was a terrifying thought. Yet beautiful and exciting.
"I don't know.... I haven't thought about that yet. Do you have any ideas?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 7, 2009 3:07:14 GMT -5
"Aside from 'Hey Sweetie,' I haven't really thought about it," Riley replied honestly. "We have time. I was just wondering if any stood out to you."
She nestled into arms, thankful that tub was large enough to let them rest however they wanted, and she reached for her champagne again. They were so young to be thinking about naming their child, but when she looked at what they had already been through... maybe they weren't too young for anything.
"She can't have a boring name," Riley said. "And nothing that starts with an R, because that's just too cutesy."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 7, 2009 11:48:14 GMT -5
Roland laughed. "No, definitely not. It's bad enough that both of our names begin with R... and we can't exactly help that. There's no need to subject our child to it, too."
He reached around and took another strawberry and took another bite while he thought about it a little more. He wasn't very good at things like this... He hadn't even been able to come up with a good name for his pet owl back in school. And this was even more important... it was their child.
"I feel like we should come up with something that means something... like it reminds us of what we've been through or how we fell in love."
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 13, 2009 23:24:47 GMT -5
"I don't think your brothers would ever let it go if we were a whole family of R's."
A little unwittingly, her mind strayed, and she started thinking of names that would sound good with Ferrera... and she said her own in her head. Riley Ferrera... it sounded natural, like she would be able to get used to the change in name quickly. Damn Roland for having her thinking about marriage.
"We fell in love by being at each other's throats and you dying. What name do you think means all that?" she asked, only half teasing.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 13, 2009 23:48:46 GMT -5
Roland laughed and kissed the top of her head. "I don't know.... I'm not good at this. Maybe we should pick up one of those baby name books or something."
He took another sip of champagne and thought for a minute. "You know, did you ever think how appropriate your name is for our relationship? From the beginning, you had the ability to get me all riled up. It's kind of funny, when you think about it."
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 14, 2009 0:00:03 GMT -5
"We'll think of a good name for her. Something that means victory or passion or something like that. Something strong. She'll need a name she can live up to."
It was funny that Roland brought it up, because she'd often thought about the nature of their names, her first and his last. "Yours too," Riley replied, also sipping her champagne. "Ferrera... or at least, I always thought it did. It sounds like fire... Both of our names just sounded like were ready for a fight. I guess they actually meant something more along the lines of passion."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 14, 2009 0:32:59 GMT -5
He'd never actually thought of it that way, but the idea of it made him smile. His last name did sort of give the impression of something fiery. And, as they'd already discussed, he had inherited quite a bit of his Spanish ancestors' passionate nature. Many of the other Ferreras were more of the "still waters run deep" types, and on the surface, so was he. But those who really knew him, knew better.
"I may not really believe in fate, but it really does seem like we were made for each other," Roland said with a smile.
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 17, 2009 0:04:10 GMT -5
Roland already knew she didn't believe in fate. It was a name people gave to a faceless entity that took responsibility out of their own hands. If she and Roland were meant for each other, then it was because of the choices they had each made along the way, and not some puppet master. And knowing that she had done something in her life so right that it lead her to Roland made her feel just a little more proud of her accomplishments.
"Maybe we were made for each other," she said after a moment's contemplation. "But more often, I think we weren't... We're too different, too wrong for each other, but we made it work anyway, and that makes it sweeter, doesn't it? I love you too much for this not to work."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 17, 2009 0:19:42 GMT -5
He frowned slightly, but it faded when she told him that she loved him again. "You really think we're wrong for each other?" he asked, leaning forward so that his face was next to hers. "I don't really see that at all. We're different, yes... we're opposites. That's why we fit together so well... we each fill in the spaces that the other lacks. Hayden said we were like.... like a puzzle that finally came together. And that's how I feel, like you've made me complete. Does that sound stupid?"
Merlin, if his 17-year-old self could hear him talking now, he'd laugh at himself. He'd told himself that he couldn't love Lisa the way she needed because he wasn't capable of being so sappy. Now he knew it had been a lie. He just hadn't loved her at all. He was saving all for the right woman. And that woman was Riley.
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 17, 2009 14:25:37 GMT -5
Riley frowned as she considered this. She didn't really see the difference between being opposites and being wrong for each other, and maybe that was her own naivety or inexperience.
"Isn't that the same thing?" she asked a moment later. It was pretty obvious that she didn't have a really romantic view of love. Roland was slowly changing that about her, but she was still fairly pragmatic about it. It was Roland who was the romantic and seemed to understand love on quite a different level than she could. Roland, for all of the urgency and the passion between them, was actually quite patiently teaching her.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 17, 2009 15:53:25 GMT -5
Roland smiled softly and shook his head. "No, it's not the same at all," he said. "Just because we're opposites, that doesn't mean we're incompatible. OK... in the beginning, I guess it certainly seemed like we were. But we just needed to get to know and understand each other. It was rough going for a while, but it was worth it, because it brought us here."
He kissed her deeply, threading his hands through her hair. "Think how boring it would be if we were exactly the same. There have to be some differences to keep things interesting. And besides, we're the same in some ways, too. We're both stubborn, we're both opinionated, and we're both passionate."
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 17, 2009 22:41:09 GMT -5
He had a point. They tended to be passionate and stubborn about the same things. And she did love him to the point of passion that seemed to unhinge her very soul. Maybe he was right, then, that all of their differences just filled in the other's blanks. That made her wonder is there was a higher power, something out there that created the two of them to match each other so well. Not fate... But maybe something.
"I love you," she said simply, after all this thought. "And wrong or right for each other, that never changes."
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 17, 2009 23:35:27 GMT -5
He wondered silently whether she knew how he felt every time she said those words to him. It was like fireworks going off, or lightning. He swore he'd never get tired of hearing them. His arms tightened around her, pulling her closer against him.
"I love you, too," he said in a heated whisper. Then he pressed his lips against the side of her neck. Before this conversation had started, he had been considering feeding her a strawberry. Now the strawberries and champagne were again forgotten, and he was solely focused on her.
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Post by Riley Neves on Sept 17, 2009 23:59:20 GMT -5
She never quite realized that his quiet attention usually followed her proclamations of love, but she loved when he'd go silent and just kiss her. When he kissed her, he wasn't doing anything else but focusing on her, and it overwhelmed her sometimes.
She tilted her head to the side, giving his lips greater access to he neck, and gently took his champagne glass away from him, setting it next to hers.
"You make me feel so beautiful," she whispered to him, unsure why she decided to say that of all things.
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Post by Roland Ferrera on Sept 18, 2009 0:27:54 GMT -5
"You're always beautiful," he breathed against her neck as his lips continued their way down to her shoulder. "You're the most beautiful woman in the world to me."
If he overwhelmed her, she did the same to him. Sometimes just the sight of her made his breath catch in his throat and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to breathe right again. He loved her so much that it shook him to his very soul. How was it possible to feel this way?
His hands were beginning to wander, almost as if they had a mind of their own, and he wanted her again.
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