|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 16, 2009 23:34:31 GMT -5
Roland had a feeling he was going to be making a lot of visits like this. Finding the people in his life who had been affected by his death and visiting them. His story was well-rehearsed, and even though it was a lie, he still felt better for having something he could tell them that wouldn't hurt them. He had put them through enough already; now was the time to start the healing.
After talking to Geoffrey, he knew that Christine had taken his supposed death very badly. And since she had already been in a fragile state after the Hogsmeade attack, he felt truly awful about putting her through it. Of course, he had done it to protect her and keep her safe... but after seeing all the emotional damage it had caused, he wasn't entirely sure that it had been worth it. If only he could have found another way.
Roland was not intimidated by many things, but Montgomery Manor was one of them. The house was practically a castle; it was so big and imposing. He sometimes felt like the poor relation to the Montgomerys, especially when he came to their house. It was the reason he didn't do it very often.
He took a deep breath before he raised his hand and rang the doorbell.
|
|
Christine Montgomery
 
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 17, 2009 0:42:44 GMT -5
It was an imposing place indeed, but warmed thoroughly by the people who lived there, and family was always more than welcome. Even during Roland's "death" Riley had come to them and was treated like family, as well as Cara, having an open invitation. The fact was no one who could be remotely considered family was ever turned away.
Jensen, recognizing Roland's face and having heard the news which the household was no doubt abuzz over, kept his smooth veneer. It was a butler's job in life to never have his feather's ruffled. Still it didn't hide the twinkle of happiness that lurked suspiciously in the brightness of his welcoming the young man in.
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 17, 2009 1:06:24 GMT -5
To Roland, the idea of servants seemed so utterly foreign, like a throwback to some other time. But he recognized Jensen, and the man had always been pleasant, if formal, on the rare occasions when he'd visited the Montgomery house. "Thanks, Jensen," he said in a low voice.
He felt distinctly awkward walking into the formal looking house in muggle clothes, jeans and a T-shirt, no less. But he silently followed the butler to a small sitting room. "I don't know.... I mainly want to see Christine, but if my aunt and uncle are around, I'd like to see them, too," he said stiffly as he moved to sit down.
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 17, 2009 1:22:25 GMT -5
The servants as well as the household, relished their positions, and took pride in working for the Montgomeries, and would have been deeply offended were Edward to dismiss any of them even though most anyone in the household could take care of themselves. It was helpful however to have extra hands in the huge home.
After escorting Roland to the parlor and taking the man's request he managed a dignified, "Yes sir, and might I address your most excellent return to the living sir. I believe Miss Montgomery will be very pleased indeed." before bowing and taking his leave. It was more "cheek" or more familiarity than most old school butlers, but Jensen having seen how hard Christine had taken Roland's death, was most eager to see her happy once more.
Christine had heard the news, and was positively itching to find out the truth, she might have left at once were it not for some inexplicable fear holding her back. She really couldn't explain it but Roland being alive, as happy as it made her, didn't relieve the gloom that had settled in the pit of her stomach. Or perhaps she just hadn't adjusted yet, perhaps that was it...yes...that was all it was. Nodding firmly she began her trek downstairs after Jensen had informed her that Roland was waiting for her in the parlor.
"Roland...?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 17, 2009 2:25:13 GMT -5
Roland laughed slightly at the butler's comment. It was an odd thing to say to someone, but he expected he'd be hearing it rather often. "Thanks, Jensen," he replied.
He waited quietly for Christine to come in. As he did so, he felt inexplicably nervous. Maybe it was just knowing that he had to lie to her, or maybe it was the house. He didn't want to think about the reason why.
When she came into the room, he broke into a half grin. "Christine," he said.
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 17, 2009 2:33:01 GMT -5
She nodded and allowed herself a halfsmile. Whatever Geoffrey might have told Roland, the truth of the matter was probably more devastating to see. She had lost weight, which in part led to more aristocratic features, in defining her bone structure, but still she looked more fragile than anything else, with the dark hues underneath her eyes, the way her hand was shaking before she rested it on a chair. There were other signs too, all in all she seemed rather lack luster, she no longer stood out in a crowd but instead melted into the solace of the shadows.
"I wasn't expecting you..."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 17, 2009 11:47:07 GMT -5
Every time Roland came face to face with the consequences of his plan, it was shocking to him. Despite the air of arrogance he projected, he truly had no idea what he meant to people. He rather thought of himself as someone that most people would either love or hate. And most of the time, he expected the latter. So seeing that people had been so devastated by his supposed death kind of freaked him out a little. He foolishly had believed that life would just go on without him and everyone would be fine. A little sad, perhaps, but not to the extent that he was seeing.
"I know," he said quietly. "I just... I talked to Geoffrey in the hospital and he told me I should come see you."
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 18, 2009 2:12:47 GMT -5
She nodded agreeing, Geoff would think that and it was true, but still she wasn't prepared to face him at all. And she was almost ...scared now that she was.
"I'm glad you have...I would have come to the hospital...but...I..." she didn't really have an excuse so instead she just grew quiet. She had come into the room as much as she dared, standing behind a chair as she waited for either of them to continue speaking.
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 24, 2009 14:02:24 GMT -5
Roland shrugged. "It's OK, really. I got plenty of visitors, and I wasn't really there that long." He almost added that he hadn't really needed to be there at all, but he held his tongue. Now that some of the fuss had died down, he was more than ready to have everyone stop focusing on him and get back to normal.
But Christine was not back to normal. Not even a little bit. She seemed frightened, as if she were scared of her own shadow. She'd been through so much... and he hadn't even thought of how she would feel when he planned this. On Christmas, he had tried to cheer her up, give her hope, and then a week later, he "died," taking away the little bit of hope he had given her. Of course she was going to fall apart. He was a fool to think otherwise.
"Christine... I'm not a ghost or anything, if that's what you're afraid of. Come in, sit down. I just wanted to talk to you."
"
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 26, 2009 23:52:59 GMT -5
Her spine stiffened inperceptibly, "I am not afraid." she announced, a quiver holding on in the shadow of her words, causing her to stiffen even more. She wasn't happy that her fear was so evident. Why should she be afraid of her own cousin, other than processing the fact that he rose from the dead so to speak.
Determined she stepped around the chair and sat, proving to him she wasn't afraid. More however as if she were proving it to herself.
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 27, 2009 15:22:27 GMT -5
Roland's lips twitched in the corner as he watched her fight whatever fear or uncertainty was holding her back. This was what he expected from Christine, an almost defiant strength that seemed to dare others to challenge her. In some ways, it reminded him of Riley; although, to be fair, almost everything these days seemed to remind him of her.
"Christine, I--" He stopped abruptly, not sure what to say to her. Although she didn't know it, he was actually directly responsible for what she had gone through in the last few months. Or that was what he thought, anyway. Maybe there was more going on there that he didn't know about. But she'd taken his "death" badly, and he hadn't even stopped to think about that before he planned it.
"I know you've been through a rough time lately. And I'm sorry if... what happened with me... was part of the reason for that. Remember what we talked about at Christmas?"
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 27, 2009 15:38:12 GMT -5
A single brow raised in annoyance, was he seriously going to bring up Christmas after his death and disappearance act? She didn't know why she was so angry. Why she was so defensive, nothing had made any sense since the Hogwarts attack. She was shaking now, but then again she had been shakey for much longer than just this encounter.
"Yes...I remember"
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 27, 2009 16:01:20 GMT -5
Roland sighed at her tone. She was getting angry, and maybe that was what she needed. Anger was better than fear.
"Well, ultimately... that's what this was all about. Being strong and fighting for what's right and not being afraid. I didn't die, but if I had... I would have been proud to do it. I always felt that I would die for something that I truly believed in, and what I really believe in is protecting my family. Not just my parents and brothers and sisters, but all of my cousins and uncles and aunts, too. And I want to protect other people's families, too. Because what really scares me is the idea of losing someone that I love. That's why I fight. I guess I just never realized that it goes both ways... that everyone else would feel the same way about me. In these times... we all have to fight for what we believe in. If we don't fight... it's almost like we're letting them win."
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 27, 2009 19:49:02 GMT -5
Her eyes narrowed a little, "So you're saying that we should fight then?" she asked a little too clever for her own good, " Everyone should fight for what they believe in, even if it gets them killed. That they should be proud to do such a thing? Where do I sign up Roland? Where's the line? It's so easy for you to say these things but you don't know what it was like when you were gone, you don't know how much it hurt. Not just me, your mother Roland do you know what your death did to her? And to your father? They were so torn up they couldn't stand to look at eachother! Do you know how hard it was on your brothers and your sisters? Oh they're happy right now that you're still alive so you still don't see it. Don't tell me that you'd be proud to die."
She stood up then," Don't tell me that there's anything prideful about death, there's nothing good or right about death, it's just pain, over and over again. Where do I sign up Roland? Where do I get to put my life in danger day after day to fight for what I believe in? To fight to keep my family alive? You don't get to take that righteous pedastal position with me, not after everything that's happened."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 28, 2009 12:32:24 GMT -5
Roland let out a breath. He supposed he deserved all of that, more than she even realized. It wasn't even just that he had risked his life, he had deliberately pretended to die and foolishly assumed that everyone would be all right with that. He'd never even thought of Christine when he planned this. He'd thought of his parents and assumed they would be OK. He had known Amandine would be devastated and he did it anyway. He had, without realizing it, played with their emotions. He sacrificed their emotional well-being for their physical safety. And he was starting to realize what a mistake that had been.
"I'm sorry, Christine," he said. "I know that this hasn't been easy for anyone... And I guess I never realized that anyone would care that much that I was gone. It kills me to see what my parents are going through... what Geoffrey went through, and my brothers and sister... and you. But I still don't regret fighting to keep you all safe. All of you... you matter more to me than I do to myself. And the way things have been lately, I'm just as likely to walk into the Three Broomsticks and be killed without warning. Like the people in Hogsmeade... they never saw it coming and they never had a chance to fight. And their families are just as devastated. I just know that I'd rather stand up and fight than see someone else die because I didn't try."
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 28, 2009 13:31:44 GMT -5
She didn't hear his words, he was sorry for what he did, and what he put his family through. It wasn't good enough, it was no where near good enough, and it didn't fix anything. She was still just as heartbroken, still just as afraid as ever.
"Why you? What makes you so special that you get to make this great sacrifice?" she wanted to know. Then again, she was so angry at her own inability to do anything to protect the ones she loved herself there was a deep and sudden need to never feel helpless again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 29, 2009 16:17:14 GMT -5
"I never said I was special," Roland said. "This all started because of a mistake I made on a mission, allowing some death eaters to get away. I saw their faces, and they knew that I would be able to identify them, so they went after my family because they knew it was my biggest weakness. They sent me threatening letters... they went after Lina and Mara... I had to stop them, so I confronted them head on. I realize now that I should have asked the rest of my family for help, but I couldn't bear the thought of any of them being hurt because of my mistake. I just... never thought of the way it would hurt them if I didn't come back."
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 29, 2009 23:05:08 GMT -5
"Then you were stupid." she said angrily and without thought. In truth she was more than happy Roland was alive and well and with her, but she was too unsteady on her own to accept her own happiness so she lashed out, and in some ways she was hoping to end all the uncertainty by getting herself caught up in a battle.
"You're stupid because you didn't realize that how you feel about losing someone you care about is the same way someone else who cares about you would feel if they had lost you. You put yourself in the role of hero, protector and didn't once think." she blazed, "Do you think it makes us feel any better that you almost gave your life to protect us?" she asked incredulously, " That your father would be happy knowing that had you died it would have been on his behalf? Or your mother? Do you think she ever would have forgiven herself, when you know she'd gladly give her life for yours? What you did, wasn't noble and I won't claim happiness that you did it on my behalf as part of your family. You don't get to make me feel that guilty. That helpless."
|
|
|
|
Post by Roland Ferrera on Jul 30, 2009 0:08:48 GMT -5
If she was looking for a battle, she wouldn't find it here. He wasn't going to argue with her; he knew full well that she had every right to tear into him. She didn't even know just how much.
He'd made a right mess of things, and he was beginning to hate himself for it. He was so used to doing the right thing, being sure of himself, being right. Even when he had done something impulsive or rash or against the rules, things had always turned out right in the end. No consequences. Now he had done something so big, so catastrophic, and it had created effects that he had never expected. Truthfully, he'd never considered Christine at all. He'd never thought his parents would be unable to speak to each other. He'd never thought Lyle Inophen would use Geoffrey in an attempt to get to Riley. These things were all because of what he had done; it was all his fault.
He hated being wrong, and he hated admitting mistakes. But he had a feeling he was going to have to learn to get used to it.
"You're right," he said simply. "I was an idiot."
|
|
Christine Montgomery
Seventh Year[M:10]
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Posts: 925
|
Post by Christine Montgomery on Jul 30, 2009 8:58:14 GMT -5
Being right didn't calm Christine down any, only the notion that she was getting far too agitated made her breathing revert to some sort of normal moderation. She was tired and suddenly it showed in every inch of her giving Roland a more tangible clue that she wasn't doing well.
"No, you're not." she said instantly contrite she lowered her eyes and sighed, " I apologize...I had no call to speak to you like that." she chewed on her inner lip her anger fast fading to be replaced with some unamed emotion.
|
|
