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Post by Cara Ferrera on May 13, 2009 17:34:25 GMT -5
There were flowers everywhere. It was almost overwhelming. There were double the flowers that had been ordered, and Cara had been told they were donated by friends of Roland. Friends, coworkers. Every one. He would have been surprised to see how loved he was.
Cara wasn't crying. She was barely standing on her own two feet, but she was not crying. She was the first to find a seat by his gravesite, and she steadily ignored everyone's well wishes and sympathy. She couldn't handle them. She was a mother dressed in black at her son's funeral, except they were burying an empty coffin, and she could barely breathe thinking of the fact.
The bastards that killed him didn't even leave a body to bury.
She pulled Jamie and Amandine out of school, wanting to be with them when they arrived at the cemetary. Being there for them was the only thing that kept her going. She just kept thinking she would wake up from this nightmare, and she'd have her husband, her son, and herself back.
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Post by Mathieu Ferrera on May 13, 2009 17:40:42 GMT -5
Mathieu stood, solitary, a few feet away from Cara. They'd barely spoken in the last week, and Mathieu found it extremely difficult to be around her or anyone else. He was there for the children, but he didn't really say much to any of them. He had shut down completely and was on autopilot.
People kept coming up to him, offering condolences, and he received them quietly. But all he kept thinking about was how much Roland would have hated the garish display of flowers and tears offered up on his behalf.
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Post by Judah Ferrera on May 13, 2009 19:54:30 GMT -5
Judah allowed Liam and Sheena to remain out of school for the funeral. It was only right. He traveled along with his family to the cemetery. It was wrong that there was an empty coffin. The deatheaters had destroyed Roland completely, and Judah only prayed that they got what was coming to them.
He didn't offer Mathieu any kind of condolences as he appeared beside his older brother. Judah knew that he didn't really want any because it couldn't bring Roland back. Goodness knew if he could do something to bring him back he would.
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on May 13, 2009 19:59:42 GMT -5
Hayden was unsure if he should go by and get Riley for the funeral or not, so he just followed his family to Highgate. Once Riley got there, he would go sit with her. For the first time in a long time, Hayden was dressed pretty nicely. He had gotten a black jacket to go with his black button up shirt.
He still hadn't allowed himself to break down. Hayden was still the stone wall he had been. Although, today might just do him in. He couldn't stand the fact of what was going on, but he knew that he had to keep his head on straight for everybody else.
Patting his father, then Mathieu on the shoulder, Hayden went by to kiss Cara on the cheek before taking his own seat.
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Post by Amandine Ferrera on May 13, 2009 20:07:57 GMT -5
Amandine was furious. She had spent that morning storming around her room getting ready for her brother's memorial that seemed like the most ridiculus thing in the world. Roland would have hated this, Ama knew that. And what was the point of a memorial! There wasn't even a bloody body! She wanted to be at school, for some reason it felt better than being with a bunch of sad people.
Now she was at the cemetary. Her little black dress flowed in the quiet wind. The butterfly necklace and bracelet that Roland had given to her were in her hand. Ama quickly clasped the necklace around her neck, but when she tried to put the bracelet on, she realized her hands were shaking.
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Suri Ferrera
Inactive Character
[M:10]
[ss:New Alternate]
Posts: 28
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Post by Suri Ferrera on May 13, 2009 22:42:23 GMT -5
Suri was fluttering around, still unsure of what to do with herself. She hadn't stopped being busy since she heard the news, not taking any news from anyone, and trying to do anything that seemed simple enough to accomplish but mentally challenging enough to consume her mind. Suri was so used to living in a happy dream world that she was unsure of what to do when real tragedy was there.
She had no idea why she was an auror.
This was the first time Suri hadn't had something in her hands all week, and she was feeling tedious. She had tried very hard not to cry, but the ultimate quiet that surrounded the Ferrera family just added to the effects of the entire tragedy. It was like no one was intact with each other any more. Suri stood quietly at the back, and tried to organize the flowers.
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Post by Jamie Ferrera on May 13, 2009 22:52:17 GMT -5
Jamie stood silently at the edge of the funeral. He stood very straight in the all black suit that had been provided for him, although he wasn't exactly sure who had set it up. He hadn't talked to many people, only a small nod of acknowledgement or polite words if he asked for something. He had been avoiding Scarlette most of all, and spent a good portion of this time in the common room, in the seat by the fire. He would read constantly, anything in his hands.
He noticed Ama's hands shaking, and her bracelet dangling loosely from her hand. He walked the short distance to her and held up her hand, clasping the bracelet around her wrist. Jamie had also been avoiding her slightly. He gave her a small pat on the shoulder before staring at the wall again.
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Post by Cara Ferrera on May 14, 2009 11:22:18 GMT -5
The only reaction Cara gave to anyone was to Hayden, who sat down next to her. She looked up and have him a weak smile.
"They all hate me for this," she whispered to him. "Mathieu wouldn't even help organize it, and Ama wanted to stay in school. None of them want this for Roland because he wouldn't have wanted it." This all came out of left field, appearantly, but she felt so alone in this. Shouldn't she have someone who understood? Even if Hayden hated her for it too, he'd never let her know it.
"But what about me? Roland's gone. He can't hate it if he's not here, and it's not for him anyway. It's for me. I need this. Am I being selfish, Hayden?"
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on May 14, 2009 11:39:50 GMT -5
He wanted to say something like 'Leave it to Roland not to be at his own funeral', but he knew that it wouldn't be any good for Cara. Hayden kept the thought to himself and then shook his head. "Well, I don't hate you," he said. "And I don't think its selfish of you to do this. We all have our ways and this is yours. I think its a good thing to have this because in a way it is some kind of small closure." Hayden did his best to swallow the lump in his throat.
Who was he going to go drinking with now? Or even talk about girls with? "But Aunt Cara, they will come around. It will take time and trust me, they will come around. They'll have to. And you know that even though you think that Roland wouldn't have wanted this, I think that some part of him would have been glad that there were people there that actually cared about him, even if he would never show it."
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Post by Mathieu Ferrera on May 14, 2009 13:21:00 GMT -5
Mathieu needed it, too, but that didn't mean that he didn't hate it. He felt like he hated everything right now. He hated the funeral, he hated the flowers, he hated his brother for having all of his children alive and healthy. He hated Cara for insisting on the funeral, he hated Cyrus for getting engaged, he hated Riley for surviving her fight, and he even hated Roland for dying. But most of all, he hated the death eater who had killed him. There wasn't a word nasty enough to describe the killer in Mathieu's mind, and there wasn't a punishment too severe for him. A fierce rage was burning in Mathieu, and he wished he could get his hands on the bastard. It wouldn't bring Roland back, but it sure would make Mathieu feel better to make the killer hurt the way he was hurting.
Judah was standing next to him, but Mathieu barely noticed. His eyes were glazed with tears, and in the resulting misty haze, he could almost imagine that Roland was still there, off in the distance, his expression sour at the outpouring of grief.
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Post by Cara Ferrera on May 14, 2009 14:58:06 GMT -5
Cara knew there was a reason she saved all of her frustration for Hayden. It wasn't fair to him to have to deal with her problems as well as his own and the rest of the family's, but she needed someone who would listen. Somone who wasn't angry. They were all angry, but it wasn't right to take it out on each other.
"You're a good boy, Hayden," she said, and she started crying, pulling her nephew into her arms. "I'm glad you were there for Roland." And she was eternally grateful that Hayden was there for her. "I will make this up to you one day," she whispered. She was the adult, she needed to be the strong on, but she just couldn't do it.
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Post by Riley Neves on May 14, 2009 15:09:44 GMT -5
Riley was barely holding it together today. She was dressed in black, and had an expression on her face that expressed more sorrow than any black dress could. She was terrified of this memorial. How was she supposed to say goodbye to Roland? She never stopped to think about the fact he was gone. She barely stopped working, and she hardly slept anymore. The nightmares would keep her awake at night if she did. But after she put on that dress, she couldn't move.
She called Geoffrey, since she'd given him a telephone for Christmas one year, and simply said "I need you." He was supposed to go with his family, and it was probably terrible of her to ask for him, but she couldn't go by herself. She couldn't even leave her apartment.
Geoffrey, Godsend that he was, came and got her, and they arrived at the cemetary together.
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on May 14, 2009 15:29:09 GMT -5
Geoffrey was actually kind of a mess as well, but you wouldn't guess it to look at him. He came from strong stock, after all, and was pretty goood at pulling himself together in a pinch. But really, it was all in the appearance. He looked handsome as ever, his hair neat and his black suit impeccable. The only sign that there was anything troubling him was the absence of his trademark grin. In fact, his face was marred by a deep frown that left lines around his mouth.
He had his arm around Riley as he approached the gravesite, where he could see his aunt and uncle and two of his cousins. The other side of the family was also there, but he didn't know Judah and Suri as well. He did know Hayden, however, since they were the same age.
Turning to Riley, he said in a low voice, "Are you sure you're OK for this?"
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on May 14, 2009 15:42:55 GMT -5
Cara knew there was a reason she saved all of her frustration for Hayden. It wasn't fair to him to have to deal with her problems as well as his own and the rest of the family's, but she needed someone who would listen. Somone who wasn't angry. They were all angry, but it wasn't right to take it out on each other. "You're a good boy, Hayden," she said, and she started crying, pulling her nephew into her arms. "I'm glad you were there for Roland." And she was eternally grateful that Hayden was there for her. "I will make this up to you one day," she whispered. She was the adult, she needed to be the strong on, but she just couldn't do it. He didn't mind dealing with other people's problems. Hayden rather be buried in other people's than his own. Maybe that was why he hadn't really broke down yet. He hadn't really faced it for himself. He was just hiding himself from the rest of the world by masking himself and helping everyone else out. As soon as Cara's arms went around him, his went around her too. "Don't worry about making this up to me," he told her trying to comfort her anyway he could. Hayden held onto his aunt as she cried. He kept his face unreadable because he wasn't one to really show his emotions in front of anyone. |
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Post by Riley Neves on May 14, 2009 16:05:09 GMT -5
Riley's eyes landed on Cara, who was quite obviously crying into Hayden's shoulders. She felt soley responsible for their pain. She should have tried harder to stop Roland, should have never agreed to help him. Beng Aurors, they all knew they could die at any moment, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. Why Roland and not her? She didn't have a huge family that would mourn her. Her death would have caused a ripple of disappointed... his was a tidal wave. And all he was doing was trying to protect his family.
She leaned into Geoffrey, a little weak on her feet, but she nodded. "I'm okay," she told him. How could she tell him that she couldn't do this when his whole family was here, holding themselves together?
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on May 14, 2009 16:43:16 GMT -5
Geoffrey gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. "This is... Well, it just sucks, that's all," he said in a quiet voice. Staring at the sad faces of his family members, all trying to blink back tears, Geoffrey felt a little bit like he was being kicked in the stomach repeatedly. It was hard to breathe in the face of all that grief, and the overwhelming scent of the flowers didn't help, either.
"Just lean on me if you have to," he said to Riley. "We'll get through this together."
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he began to walk toward his aunt Cara.
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Post by Cara Ferrera on May 16, 2009 11:52:53 GMT -5
Cara just nodded as Hayden told her not to worry about making it up to him, but she would. One day, when she remembered how to breathe again, Hayden would know how much she appreciated his support right now. She felt like he was the only one in the whole family, except maybe her sister's son, that didn't blame her or was angry at her for having this memorial. It hurt her, but she needed this too much. She was hurting too much to be worried if she was being selfish. Besides, it wasn't like she was hurting Roland in any way.
She took a breath just as Geoffrey and Riley came up, and she pulled Geoffrey into a hug, but wouldn't stand up. "How are you doing, Geoffrey? And Christine?"
When she pulled away, her eyes met Riley's, and she hugged her too. "I'm glad you're here. He would have wanted to see you."
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Post by Riley Neves on May 16, 2009 12:07:19 GMT -5
While Cara was hugging Geoffrey, Riley smiled softly, though sadly, at Hayden. He was a surprising support during all of this, and she wanted to let him know she was there for him as well. It was good to see him again, actually, even if he looked worn out. Who in the family didn't, really?
"Hi, Hayden," she said, before being pulled into Cara's arms, and she turned her attention to the woman.
"Of course I came," she said. She wouldn't have missed this for anything. She just didn't know how to make herself let him go at this point. "Please let me know if I can do anything for you."
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Post by Geoffrey Montgomery on May 16, 2009 15:56:39 GMT -5
Geoffrey hugged his aunt, then stepped aside while Cara talked to Riley. "I'm hanging in there," he said. "Christine's.... not doing quite so well. But she's tough, she'll get through it."
The whole family was full of tough people, really. And they'd pull through. But right now, they all kind of looked like they were falling apart. Geoffrey couldn't help but think that if he had been there, Roland would have been the rock that everyone leaned on. In his absence, other people had to pick up the slack. And he was one of them. He just hoped he could handle the job.
"I'm here for you, too, Aunt Cara. Seriously... anything you need, just let me know, OK?"
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Post by Mathieu Ferrera on May 17, 2009 1:45:30 GMT -5
Mathieu was not surprised that Riley was there. If he wasn't so consumed with anger and grief, he would have felt sorry for the girl. She had lost Roland, too. Just when they were possibly on the verge of falling for each other. Roland had already fallen. He'd told them, that last day. And even in his current state of mind, Mathieu could not bring himself to dismiss Roland's happiness that day. Roland didn't fake happiness, he couldn't. He never faked anything. He believed in honesty, even to the point where it was almost painful. it was one thing to keep emotions locked inside, it was another thing entirely to lie about them or fake them.
If Roland said he was in love with Riley, then he'd been telling the truth. Which was why Mathieu felt like a knife was twisting in his gut everytime he looked at her.
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