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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Apr 7, 2009 14:17:27 GMT -5
As Angelique closed the meeting, Hayden looked to Riley. He figured that he would go ahead and get it out while they were both there. "Hey Riley," he said after lightly clearing his throat, "can we go ahead and just talk for a minute. I promise it won't take long." He started to stand up, his body feeling heavy, but he offered a hand to help her up. Hayden didn't want to talk to her in front of every one.
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 7, 2009 14:25:25 GMT -5
Riley was still kind of dreading talking to Hayden, even though he'd been a sweetheart so far. But she nodded, and caught Fabian's eyes as she stood up. She hoped he would stick around so that she could talk to him, too. And then Angelique...
She took a deep breath to calm herself down. Things got overwhelming pretty fast.
"Sure, Hayden," she said, taking his hand and pulling herself up, avoiding anyone else's eyes.
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Apr 7, 2009 14:39:44 GMT -5
Once Riley was on her feet, Hayden slowly led her away from the other aurors so that he could talk to her privately.
He stopped and turned to face her. "Riley, I promise its not bad. I just want to let you know that," Hayden paused for a moment, swallowing the thickness in his throat, "I don't blame you for what happened. It's not your fault and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. It was the deatheater's fault for what happened, and they will pay for it." His eyes gazed over for a moment before he continued. "But please Riley, don't think that this is your fault, because its not. The way Cara was acting, her head is just not on straight. No one really blames you for it. If you're going to be blamed for anything, that would be for making him different than what he had been."
Hayden offered a better smile this time. "If there's anything you need help with, all you have to do is ask. I'll be there in a heartbeat."
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 7, 2009 14:49:25 GMT -5
Making him different? Riley's brow creased, but she said nothing, didn't ask about it, and she took a long breath before she nodded.
"I don't blame Cara for what she said. She just lost her son... I would have been trying to pin the blame on anyone I could, too. But thank you, Hayden... that really means a lot to me to hear you say that. I'm okay though... honestly. I want to help your family, if they'll let me, so please tell me what I can do."
Her eyes said that she wanted to make things better for them, to help them through this process. If it was her fault that Roland was gone, she wanted it to be her burden. "Hayden... can I tell you something? Something that I couldn't tell Mathieu or Cara... and I'm afraid it will make you blame me."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Apr 7, 2009 14:58:04 GMT -5
"If there is anything, I'll let you know," he said. He wasn't sure what Riley could really do, but he would find something if she really wanted to help. Hayden's hands went into his pockets as he glanced down at her.
"Of course you can tell me anything." He was going to be there for her to. It was just a job that Hayden put upon himself, it just felt natural for him to want to help anyone. "And Riley, nothing you can say will make me blame you, but go ahead."
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 7, 2009 15:02:43 GMT -5
Riley's eyes teared up at the thought, and the fight replayed in her mind.
"I was fighting a Death Eater that was more powerful than I was. More skilled, and he hit me with Cruciatus. I screamed... it was the third time I'd been through that night, and maybe I was weak, but I couldn't help it. I screamed, and Roland yelled my name... and that's when it all happened."
Her throat was constricting and she knew she was seconds away from crying. "I distracted him, Hayden."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Apr 7, 2009 15:13:42 GMT -5
Hayden felt his throat tighten, but no matter what Riley said he still didn't blame her. "No Riley," he managed to get out. "You're not to blame. You were fighting too, you didn't know what was going on. Its the deatheaters that are to blame, even if you think you distracted him."
Seeing Riley about to cry made Hayden's hand come out of his pocket and rest on her cheek for a moment. "Riley, look at me," he said. "You're not to blame. Don't blame yourself, you couldn't have helped what happened." Hayden was doing his best to hide his own tears. "It's not your fault, alright? No matter what you think, you're not to blame."
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 7, 2009 20:24:50 GMT -5
He should hate her for that. She shouldn't have told him, but she had to tell someone, and she was smart enough not to tell Cara or Mathieu. They most certainly would hate her for it.
She wanted to apologize to Hayden, to tell him that if she could go back and do it over again, she would. She would have found a way to help Roland, no matter what it cost.
"Thank you, Hayden," she whispered. "I meant it... please tell me if there's anything I can do. I'll be cleaning out Roland's desk later and probably will take it by Cara's tomorrow."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Apr 7, 2009 20:38:57 GMT -5
"You don't have to thank me Riley, I should be the one thanking you," he stated. Hayden knew that it took a lot for her to come them and tell them what happened. He was grateful for that, and a lot more. He was grateful that she was partnered with Roland because it done him good.
"And I'll make sure that I let you know if you can do anything. You do the same okay? If you need anything, I'm here."
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 7, 2009 20:55:19 GMT -5
Riley nodded. "I will. I know you say not to say it, but thank you, Hayden. Really, for everything."
She pulled him into a hug again. It was a rough time for all of them, losing a family member, a partner. Hayden was holding together very well, and she wished she could make things easier on him.
"I'll see you around, okay? Don't be a stranger."
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Post by Hayden Ferrera on Apr 7, 2009 21:08:54 GMT -5
"Thank you for everything." When Riley hugged him again, Hayden felt like he wanted to cry, but he held it together even though it was just barely. He was still wondering how in the world he was holding it together like he was. Of course, whenever he was alone, it was different, but in front of people he had to be strong.
"You don't be a stranger either. Stop by whenever you want for anything at all," Hayden said with a nod.
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 8, 2009 12:52:28 GMT -5
Riley nodded. "I will. Take care, Hayden," she said, smiling just a little. "There's someone else I need to go talk to... but I'll be seeing you, all right?"
When she left Hayden, she moved against the crowd to get back inside, needing to talk to Fabian. She didn't think she was being fair to him, and with Roland's death, and working two assignments now... she just wasn't in a good place for him.
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Post by Fabian Prewett on Apr 8, 2009 13:36:09 GMT -5
Fabian stood up as everyone else was leaving, but he wanted to speak to Riley. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to her. He did see her and Hayden disappear, so he sat back down in his chair for a moment. A few things were running through his head. By the time he looked back up, he saw Riley trying to get back into the meeting room.
He stood up and made his way over to her. Whenever Fabian reached her, he let out a breath he had been holding. "Hi," was the only word that come out.
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 10, 2009 0:09:53 GMT -5
"Hi," Riley replied, forcing herself to smile for him. "I wanted to talk to you," Riley then blurted out, trying not to give him the oppertunity to ask if she was all right. She was already getting sick of that question, and couldn't take it from him.
But then she wasn't sure what to say, and he looked so kind, staring back at her, and she felt herself close to the edge.
She sat down before her legs could give out on her, and let out a shakey breath.
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Post by Fabian Prewett on Apr 10, 2009 11:12:28 GMT -5
He was going to avoid the questions that everyone else were asking. Fabian didn't want to ask them because he could already tell the answer to them.
"We can do that," he said as he motioned to a chair. "Do you want to sit?" Once Riley was seated, Fabian took his own seat and faced her. He knew that this wasn't going to be one of those talks that had them both laughing. "What is it that you want to talk about?"
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 10, 2009 12:55:06 GMT -5
Riley sat down, taking a deep breath as she went.
What did she want to talk to Fabian about? What could she really say?
"You've been a real doll, Fabian. I just want to say I'm sorry. For... You know. Everything."
That didn't really say anything, but she was having a hard time thinking things through right now.
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Post by Fabian Prewett on Apr 10, 2009 13:51:34 GMT -5
"Hey, look, don't apologize," he said. "I'm not saying this just because, but I really do mean this, it's going to be alright." Fabian didn't know what was going to be said, but he was going to stick around to find out.
He knew that Riley told him that she wasn't going to be there for New Years with him, because instead she went with Roland to go after deatheaters. Fabian wasn't angry or anything like that. He was actually relieved that Roland had someone to go with him instead of him just being alone. He knew that Riley felt something more for Roland and he wasn't angry about that either. That was just the way life went.
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 11, 2009 9:28:32 GMT -5
She looked at him, something desperate and helpless in her eyes. He told her not to be sorry, but she really was. She wished she could just make things better for everyone.
She took a deep, shuddering breath. "Why can't I just fix things for everyone, Fabian? It's like every person I come in contact with, I ruin something for them."
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Post by Fabian Prewett on Apr 12, 2009 17:05:50 GMT -5
"We're not supposed to be able to fix everything for everyone," he said. Fabian wanted to reach out and touch her cheek, but he wasn't sure if he should or not. He kept his hands to himself as he looked at her.
"And you shouldn't think like that. Its not always like that. Somethings just have the wrong timing."
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Post by Riley Neves on Apr 21, 2009 11:21:29 GMT -5
Riley heaved a sigh, and even she knew she was moments from breaking down. Merlin, she just wanted some sleep.
She still didn't know how to say what she had to, and the look in her eyes was anguished. There was no easy way to do this.
"Fabian, I don't want this to sound like I'm breaking up with you. I'm not even sure if..." She trailed off and shook her head.
"I just need some time, Fabian."
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