Visiting Mom

[Remus Lupin]

Remus led the way into the quiet cemetary. He hadn't gone to his mother's grace in a while, but he still knew the way by heart. She was near the back, by a large cherry tree that flowered with soft pink blossoms in spring. Mum had always loved cherry trees, with their fluffy blossoms and the silky pink petals that rained down from the tree like pink snow. As it was fall, the flowers were just a memory, and instead the leaves were just starting to turn a faint reddish color. He stopped in front of the grave and knelt down, tracing her name with his fingers:

Eileen Lupin
Beloved Wife and Mother
February 5, 1938 - June 16, 1968

[Kris Lupin]

Kris followed Remus her anger for her father growing with every step. He hadn't bothered to even write her, he had wrote her, as Kris called her, foster mother about her real moms death. When they reached the grave Kris looked down at it, "I hate him for this."

[Remus Lupin]

Remus looked over at her sadly. "I know," he said. He reached over and held out his hand to her. "Come on, sit. Maybe you should try talking to her... just tell her how you miss her and you wish things had been different. I think maybe you need to say goodbye."

[Kris Lupin]

Kris took his hand as she sat beside him, she looked at the words on the stone. "Why did he think breaking up the family was a good thing? He ruined our lives." Tears fell down her cheeks.

[Remus Lupin]

"I wish I knew," Remus replied. "If I understood it, maybe this would be easier to take. But it seems like everything went wrong because of it." He looked at the headstone again. "I wish we'd thought to bring some flowers. It's been so long since I've visited her."

[Skye]

Skye stood back while Kris and Remus were talking. She knew that they needed this private time alone, to talk some things out between them. She realized again just how uch their lives had been ruined by Fenrir's actions. She was so used to thinking of him as her leader, her father, that, even though she knew he was bad, it still struck her. She wished there was something she could do to make it up to them.

[Remus Lupin]

Remus looked over at Kris. She was being awfully quiet. He wondered silently what she was thinking about. he wished she would talk to him. But there was a barrier between them, and it was their father's fault. He wondered if things would ever be right again. He sniffled as a tear trickled down his cheek.

[Kris Lupin]

Kris was thinking about how it use to be, about how she and Remus use to be so close. She'll never forgive her father for ruining that, a bond between brother and sister should never be broken.

[Remus Lupin]

Remus bowed his head down silently. He wanted Kris to say something, to tell him what she was feeling. Or at least to talk to Mom, and tell her the things she had never had the chance to say. But he couldn't force her to do it. So he just waited... waited for something to happen.

[Kris Lupin]

"I-I wish I could change everything." Kris whispered as silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn't know really what to say, it wasn't fair that she couldn't remember her mother.

[Remus Lupin]

"I know," Remus said. "I wish I had one of those Time-Turner things, and could go back to before we were separated, or even before we were bitten, and stop it all from happening. But I don't think it works that way. I think we're stuck with the way things are. Even if they suck." He reached over and gave her a hug. "If nothing else, I hope Dad tells you more about Mom. I think you need to hear about her, and to remember her. I was only 8 when she died... I didn't really know her that long."

[Kris Lupin]

"I just don't understand why he erased me from the family, he never showed any sign of thinking about me after making me leave." Kris said covering her face with her hands. "I want to think good of him but how can I after he pushed me from the family?"

[Remus Lupin]

Remus put his arms around her. "I know," he said softly. "I wish I had answers for you, but I don't. I just want to know what I can do to make you feel better... to take away your pain, or help it to heal. You need to move past it. Maybe I do, too... but I still want to be mad right now."

[Kris Lupin]

"I don't really know how to feel, I mean I'm happy he's in my life again but I'm mad that he got rid of me. And I'm mad that it took this long for him to even want to see me." Kris said, "I'll never forgive him for making me go away." She looked at her mothers name. "I feel like I'm looking at a strangers grave stone."

[Remus Lupin]

Remus blinked back tears. He had hoped this would work. That coming here would help Kris to deal with her feelings of losing her mother. But she couldn't seem to connect with the gravestone in front of her and couldn't stop talking about their father. He didn't want to talk about Dad anymore. He was still angry and he wanted to be angry. He didn't want to get past it, he didn't want to understand it, and he didn't want answers. He wanted it never to have happened. He wanted to go back in time to the days he couldn't even remember. Back to when the whole family was together, and neither of them were werewolves. But that couldn't happen. It could never happen. And he was afraid he'd lost those memories forever. And he hated it.

Abruptly, he got up and began to run. He didn't know or care where he was going, he just wanted to run away from his pain. As he ran, he cried out loudly. At the edge of the cemetary, his legs gave out on him and he collapsed in a heap and began sobbing uncontrollably.

[Kris Lupin]

Kris knew he didn't want to talk about their dad but she couldn't help but talk about him. She hated that she caused him to hate their father. She felt that she should have just left them alone and kept trying to get back with her family. She stood up but didn't move, she wanted to comfort her brother but she thought that he didn't want her to. She closed her eyes and forced back the urge to run away. She had thought she would be happy if she was with her real family but so far it hasn't happened.

[Skye]

Skye watched as Remus ran away and then dropped to his knees, crying. Kris stoood up and watched him, but didn't go after him. Shaking her head, Skye walked over to Kris and put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "You need to go to him," she said quietly. "There is a wall between you, and one of you needs to break through it. Neither of you will ever heal until you do. He's trying desperately to reach you, and help you, and you just keep pushing him away."

[Kris Lupin]

Kris looked at the ground. "I'm not trying to push him away." She said quietly. "I caused him to hate our dad, I should have just kept to myself." She wanted to help him but she didn't think he wanted her to, she ruined his life.

[Skye]

"The thing about secrets is that the truth will always come out, sooner or later," Skye said softly. "You did not cause Remus to hate your father. You told him the truth, which is the greatest gift you could have given him. Eventually, he would have found out about your father's lies, and he still would have been bitter about it. You must not blame yourself for everything. You and Remus are in this together, yet you seem to put it all on yourself. But while you think of yourself, you're not thinking of how he feels."

[Kris Lupin]

"I don't know how to be his sister anymore! I've been away from him for years, I think of the little brother I had then I look at him now and I think of how much I don't know about him. I've forgotten how to be with him, I try but nothing I do works." Kris said hugging herself.